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[beast786]

Well it's generally she because we don't hear as much about women killing people in general. Men are more prone to violence crime as crime stats all over the world show.


I bet you could post an outdated news report about a woman killing in a crime of passion and since too many people only read the thread title and even the remaining few only read the OP you could make a quick manipulative test to see if gender matters in victim blaming.

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/116728473/REFERENCES-EXAMINING-ASSAULTS-BY-WOMEN-ON-THEIR

"Women reported the expression of as much or more violence in their relationships as men." Bookwala, J., Frieze, I. H., Smith, C., & Ryan, K. (1992). Predictors of dating violence: A multi variate analysis. Violence and Victims, 7, 297-311.


Rates of commission of acts and initiation of violence were similar across gender.Makepeace, J. M. (1986). Gender differences in courtship violence victimization. Family Relations, 35, 383-388.

 

[not_so_special]

And that's stupid.

and very misogynistic

if you think a woman cheating his husband is the same as killing some one,you have a serious problem

 

[TS-08]

No, because the possibility is certainly there. But so is her having sex with the neighbor's dog. To imply that it's common or makes logical sense to cheat when you're so afraid of your spouse that you can't tell them you want a divorce... then well, there's no arguing with you either.

And the wording you use makes your argument unclear. "fear of leaving" isn't really right. "Fear for your safety and life" fits far better. If you're in an abusive relationship, where you fear leaving because they abuse you... why would you then do something far worse?

Someone who is in an abusive relationship where they get beat to all hell by accidentally shrinking a shirt, or breaking a glass will be so afraid to do something wrong that there's very little chance the would risk doing something that has some gravity to do it by normal standards. Especially for the sole purpose of sex.

If you're going to risk pissing them off, the logical and more reasonable (and likely more common) thing to risk your life for is... leaving. Not cheating.

Your goal in this discussion appears to be as obtuse and confrontational as possible. To act like having an affair when in an abusive relationship is as likely as having sex with an animal paints you as incredibly naive or sheltered. I never said it was common, but to act like it can't or doesnt happen because it doesn't make "logical sense" makes me wonder what you think motivates human behavior.

My wording was crystal clear. "Fear of leaving" means "fear of leaving due to fear for your life and safety." You knew that. You are simply being argumentative.

And as to your last two paragraphs, I could simply turn it around and say "Why not cheat?" If you think getting divorced will result in violence just the same as an affair, why not do the thing you could potentially keep secret?

 

[Elvick]

Your goal in this discussion appears to be as obtuse and confrontational as possible. To act like having an affair when in an abusive relationship is as likely as having sex with an animal paints you as incredibly naive or sheltered. I never said it was common, but to act like it can't or doesnt happen because it doesn't make "logical sense" makes me wonder what you think motivates human behavior.

My wording was crystal clear. "Fear of leaving" means "fear of leaving due to fear for your life and safety." You knew that. You are simply being argumentative.

And as to your last two paragraphs, I could simply turn it around and say "Why not cheat?" If you think getting divorced will result in violence just the same as an affair, why not do the thing you could potentially keep secret?

I wasn't equating them, I was giving a quick example of something else that's possible. Anything is possible. That was my point. Which if you actually pay attention to it's context, I think is very clear. Since I started off saying the possibility of someone in an abusive relationship cheating is there. Possibility =/= commonplace

I never said it doesn't happen. I said flat out the possibility is there in the comment you're replying to which is the direct opposite what you're now implying I'm saying. The only one coming off argumentative is you. And on that note, I take leave of this thread.

 

[rCIZZLE]

and very misogynistic

if you think a woman cheating his husband is the same as killing some one,you have a serious problem

Just curious... how's that misogynistic?

 

[Septimius]

True, but also she's the root of the cause. Without her cheating, the husband wouldn't have killed the man.

Yeah, it's the Jews' fault for pissing off Hitler, too.

 

[TS-08]

I wasn't equating them, I was giving a quick example of something else that's possible. Anything is possible. That was my point. Which if you actually pay attention to it's context, I think is very clear. Since I started off saying the possibility of someone in an abusive relationship cheating is there. Possibility =/= commonplace

I never said it doesn't happen. I said flat out the possibility is there in the comment you're replying to which is the direct opposite what you're now implying I'm saying. The only one coming off argumentative is you. And on that note, I take leave of this thread.

You're arguing what you want to argue. No one ever said it was commonplace and it doesn't have to be considered commonplace to take exception to your initial post.

Again, you are being obtuse. When you say "Anything is possible" in the context that you did, you are implying it isn't really a possibility and that it is only possible in the sense that it could happen. It would be like if, instead of your dog anology, you said to me "It's possible you could date Jennifer Lawrence! " You would be saying it's possible only in that it isn't impossible, but in reality it will never happen. And you would be right.

And no, you were the one being argumentative and condescending by being explicitly dissmissive of me and the other poster for our replies. I don't feel there was any justification for that "You aren't really worth my time" attitude.

 

[bomb]

I would never sleep with another man's wife. Even though he is the least at fault in this story.

 

[Septimius]

That's dumb. If he's abusive to the point you fear getting a divorce, then you'd fear even more going to bed with another man.

Ridiculous.

No, because the possibility is certainly there. But so is her having sex with the neighbor's dog. To imply that it's common or makes logical sense to cheat when you're so afraid of your spouse that you can't tell them you want a divorce... then well, there's no arguing with you either.

And the wording you use makes your argument unclear. "fear of leaving" isn't really right. "Fear for your safety and life" fits far better. If you're in an abusive relationship, where you fear leaving because they abuse you... why would you then do something far worse?

Someone who is in an abusive relationship where they get beat to all hell by accidentally shrinking a shirt, or breaking a glass will be so afraid to do something wrong that there's very little chance the would risk doing something that has some gravity to do it by normal standards. Especially for the sole purpose of sex.

If you're going to risk pissing them off, the logical and more reasonable (and likely more common) thing to risk your life for is... leaving. Not cheating.

Feelings don't have us do rational things. People that are abusive often wear down many layers of security every human being needs, but at the same time, it's with the person you're closest to. It means a lot of the things that are "you" gets torn away, while your SO becomes a surrogate for those layers of security. All people need those layers of security, and when someone's abused, it can have them do things everyone else goes "well, that's obviously stupid" - like continuing to stay with the person. Defending the person's actions. Agreeing to the augmentation of behaviour that often happens.

All the while some of the outer layers of security might be replaced by the abusive SO, which is why it's too hard to get out of, the deepest layers of trust are still violated. It can cause havoc to a mind. It's so ugly when someone's abusive in a relationship, because with the abusing, the need for the person abusing grows, too. But at the same time, this poor person's going through hell. Their deepest needs of security are violated. It should then be increasingly obvious that they may seek that security with someone else.

The fact of the matter is that some people manage to bail. Those that don't might also be the ones that are most vulnerable and in need of someone else's recognition and deep security, like one gets from being intimate with someone. I'd say a lot of the strengths that have some people being able to bail are also correlated to the same strengths that will have you not cheat on someone in such a dire situation. This is in no way trying to judge anyone, it is merely saying that those that are so unfortunate to be in an abusive relationship will go through shit so tough I can totally see them being driven to another man, no matter how much "sense" it makes to you. The sense you need to judge this is that of understanding emotional abuse and turmoil, along with the needs of a person. As such, it is perfectly logical. To even dismiss such a thing so blatantly as you do just means to me that you've been so lucky as not have to delve into understanding the mechanisms of such emotions and psychological abuse.

It doesn't make it morally defendable, but I'd feel disgusted if I were to judge her in even the same paragraph as speaking of her husband.

 

[norinrad]

I would never sleep with another man's wife. Even though he is the least at fault in this story.

you would never know unless she told you she was married. The Dead guy could possibly not have even known the lady was married. The whole thing is very tragic

 

[Air]

Well I'd consider them not two sides of one scale, but I'd say the wife's actions were about a 3 out of 10 on each scale, the homicide victim about a 1 on the vile scale and a 7 on the stupid scale, and the murdering husband a 9 on the vile scale (gotta be worse reasons to kill someone) and I'll not rank his stupidity because I'm assuming his actions were purely emotion with little thought given at all.

The only one I feel sorry for is the homicide victim, mind you. The "wrongness" of what he did is pretty minor. He gave a willing adult something she wanted. Fair game. It was stupid because there are millions of others he could have slept with and, ridiculous as it is, sometimes when you fuck another man's wife he comes at you for revenge. Avoiding things that make other people angry with you also helps you avoid being killed. It's not right, but it IS the reality of the world.

This and your post before this one are the two most balanced posts in this thread I think. Sometimes it's easy to jump on the hyperbole train in a thread like this, but I think the reality is that everybody takes part in some kind of blame (not necessarily to the murder, before someone misreads this). Also I like your dual scale lol.

 

[Septimius]

This and your post before this one are the two most balanced posts in this thread I think. Sometimes it's easy to jump on the hyperbole train in a thread like this, but I think the reality is that everybody takes part in some kind of blame (not necessarily to the murder, before someone misreads this). Also I like your dual scale lol.

If the man in question knew the woman was married, he is doing something wrong. But we don't know that. And we may also not know that he might have tried to help her get out of the abusive relationship. Feelings happen, and it's easy to be blinded by them. It's not justification, but say they met and really liked each other, and while he was spending time talking with her about the fact that she should get out of the relationship with her husband, they may have ended up in the sack. It's sadly a mistake that's far too easy to make.

What I think I mean I'm thinking is that this could've been a well-meaning man that found a woman he really liked, found out she was married, tried to figure out the situation, maybe help her if she felt unable or unwilling to leave what might've been a bad relationship. It may then have been a slip-up by an otherwise well-intentioned guy. Whatever that would mean to a moral compass is very individual, I think. Of course, he may have been a self-centered ego-maniac that found a new girl to fuck, and this girl was attracted to that in him. Who knows.

All I mean to say is that out of everyone involved, the guy deciding to murder his wife's lover is the one doing something completely irrevocable and bereaving someone of their life. It is so out of proportion to anything that I hardly think "that's just how reality works" can qualify it, much in the same way that reality also works in the way of having adults molest kids, and it doesn't change how wrong it is.

Yes, there are fucked up people out there that will decide to murder of someone that might be the least to blame in the situation, rather than sit down with their wife that cheated on them, and figure out why it happened, and either work together on improving the relationship, or deciding to break up. It seems a man's way of justifying his insecurities, going after the one your girl cheated with, and it doesn't keep your girl from doing it again.

 

[UraMallas]

Edit: Didn't realize this thread was 400+ replies and replied to something on the first page.

 

[Air]

If the man in question knew the woman was married, he is doing something wrong. But we don't know that. And we may also not know that he might have tried to help her get out of the abusive relationship. Feelings happen, and it's easy to be blinded by them. It's not justification, but say they met and really liked each other, and while he was spending time talking with her about the fact that she should get out of the relationship with her husband, they may have ended up in the sack. It's sadly a mistake that's far too easy to make.

What I think I mean I'm thinking is that this could've been a well-meaning man that found a woman he really liked, found out she was married, tried to figure out the situation, maybe help her if she felt unable or unwilling to leave what might've been a bad relationship. It may then have been a slip-up by an otherwise well-intentioned guy. Whatever that would mean to a moral compass is very individual, I think. Of course, he may have been a self-centered ego-maniac that found a new girl to fuck, and this girl was attracted to that in him. Who knows.

All I mean to say is that out of everyone involved, the guy deciding to murder his wife's lover is the one doing something completely irrevocable and bereaving someone of their life. It is so out of proportion to anything that I hardly think "that's just how reality works" can qualify it, much in the same way that reality also works in the way of having adults molest kids, and it doesn't change how wrong it is.

Yes, there are fucked up people out there that will decide to murder of someone that might be the least to blame in the situation, rather than sit down with their wife that cheated on them, and figure out why it happened, and either work together on improving the relationship, or deciding to break up. It seems a man's way of justifying his insecurities, going after the one your girl cheated with, and it doesn't keep your girl from doing it again.

Yes, if he didn't know than he shouldn't be at fault, I agree with that and in hindsight I prejudged his position to make my point. Thank you. Also I agree with pretty much the rest of your post. The "that's just how reality is" bit I take it as more of, there's a high chance of some messed up things happening to you in your life, so you should try to curb the effects when they happen. That's not to say that people shouldn't help themselves, they definitely should, but not everybody is capable of that y'know?

Edit: iPad died on me, but I just want to say I'm not condoning the murderer by saying some people can't help themselves.

 

[Angelus Errare]

Ah good ol fashioned victim blaming; wouldn't be a proper gaf thread without it.

 

[grumble]

Are there really people here saying that the root cause of this is the cheating? The root cause is that the guy is crazy. Cheating is really bad and hurtful but saying that she is responsible for this tragedy is bizarre and mysoginistic. I fully support calling her a moron though.

 

[drexplora]

can we agree both husband and wife were fucked?!

Sucks that the story didn't end with both of them dead, rather then someone potentially innocent..

 

[Seeds]

Ah good ol fashioned victim blaming; wouldn't be a proper gaf thread without it.

People are blaming the man who got killed?

 

[POWERSPHERE]

True, but also she's the root of the cause. Without her cheating, the husband wouldn't have killed the man.

or perhaps the guy who fucking murdered someone mighnt have been the best partner... Mysogynist GAF is incredible...

 

[InfiniDragon]

I really feel it should be said that some of these people jumping on the woman for cheating as the catalyst (whether it was or not), would very likely do the same to a man who cheated and as a result his wife killed someone in a jealous fit.

The cheating does not justify the murder and the cheater has no control over their spouse's actions, but it's not just a "blame the woman" thing. Just a tragic sort of events due to a bunch of people doing dumb things (yes, even though the other guy was worse, cheating is dumb and should be called out).

 

[flippedb]

It's not like he ran 160 miles on foot, why even put it on the thread title?

Because it shows how committed he was with his task.

 

[Ekdrm2d1]

This thread.

 

[evilromero]

Or: don't kill people.

And don't cheat. How about just don't do either?

 

[TwEE-N-Toast]

The real people to blame are the proponents of monogamy. Shame on you people, tsk tsk.

 

[norinrad]

We often hear women cutting of their man's private part for cheating. On who's side would GAF be?

 

[Dosia]

And don't cheat. How about just don't do either?

Or kill the guy and don't get caught.

 

[Lucario]

We often hear women cutting of their man's private part for cheating. On who's side would GAF be?

you know the answer already

The real people to blame are the proponents of monogamy. Shame on you people, tsk tsk.

:lol

 

[charsace]

People are surprised the guy is ready to kill? Of course he is he's a border agent. Any job where someone carries a gun they are going to be instilled with at least a little something so that they are prepared to kill. And people saying that the wife is not to blame? She isn't the primary reason that the guy is dead, but her cheating was a factor and there is no denying it.

 

[levious]

Three degenerates. Why sympathize with any of them? Always shocked to see members here openly admit to fucking around with married people too. No shame.

 

[GhaleonEB]

What some people here are trying to say is cause and effect, if the woman wasn't cheating the husband would not have killed the man, so now because of her actions a man is dead.

So if my kid takes money out of my wallet, and I break her arm in retaliation, she caused me to break her arm? The events are related but that kind of one thing led to another thinking you and others have posted implicitly blames the wife for setting the husband off. It's 100% his fault and responsibility for murdering another person. What the wife did does not matter.

"so now because of her actions a man is dead" is false. The man is dead because someone killed him.

 

[Lucario]

People are surprised the guy is ready to kill? Of course he is he's a border agent. Any job where someone carries a gun they are going to be instilled with at least a little something so that they are prepared to kill. And people saying that the wife is not to blame? She isn't the primary reason that the guy is dead, but her cheating was a factor and there is no denying it.

Or the husband was abusive, she feared retaliation if she broke up with him directly, and the affair was with someone so far away because she felt she needed protection from the sociopathic moron.

I'm not saying cheating was the morally correct decision or anything -- I have been cheated on, it was not pleasant -- but it isn't much of a stretch to assume a dude willing to drive 160 miles to murder someone wasn't the best husband.

Fact is, we don't know much about this story. With what we know, it isn't fair to blame the wife for anything that happened.

 

[params7]

What an idiot. An innocent man gets killed. The actual culprit (his wife) gets to live free and pursue more relationships.

Should have just divorced her.

 

[commedieu]

Three degenerates. Why sympathize with any of them? Always shocked to see members here openly admit to fucking around with married people too. No shame.

You just have the cliffs notes, and you're already to call all three of them degenerates. Meanwhile, one man is dead because of another. Cheating happens to adults, you don't kill people because of it, and its not a deterrent for cheating. Its not some unsaid guideline. The only degenerate is a man that is killing another one. As people are able to move on with their lives, without murdering anyone. I use that as the bar for the human response to cheating and astronomical divorce rate in America. Also, some people don't sign divorce papers. Situations are different for everyone. You can't just lump all of them together.

Marriage isn't some amazing magical thing, else the divorce rate wouldn't be so high. Some folks just do it as a next step in their long term relationship, some marry the only person they've known since high school. Some get married for green cards, some get married in vegas. Some get married because of love. Its not some holy bond that all citizens have to respect, and if it was, the divorce rate wouldn't be so high. They wouldn't give it away on TV as a prize, to a blind dwarf.

Some people value marriage, some don't. Again, situations are different with people. Cheating with a married person is no different than cheating on a unmarried significant other.(Save for states with dated laws) The lies are there, and the hurt is there. People kill their girlfriends and boyfriends all the time. We aren't given a pass to kill people because we were lied to and hurt. -- Unless its a crime of passion due to the planning/driving, which is really what should be discussed about this specific instance, not 90 pages of people going back and forth about the wifes morals, that aren't universal, and certainly aren't supported by the current state of marriage in the West.

Its unfortunate that any person has to go through a horrible death. Thats where my sympathy is, for his family and the wife who was bounded and threatened. Again folks are different though, as I can do this, and you may not have the ability to look past a legal agreement on paper, to see how horrible of an event this is.

 

[Lucario]

What an idiot. An innocent man gets killed. The actual culprit (his wife) gets to live free and pursue more relationships.

Should have just divorced her.

Did a knife-clad hand come out of her vagina and stab a man to death?

Is that what happens when women cheat on their partners?

 

[Speedy Blue Dude]

No.

The guy that killed someone ruined three lives.

It takes two willing people to cheat on a standing relationship. In this case it was that man and this women, and they both have a fault. Both the man and the women ruined three lives.

The husband ruined 3 lives as well, they all have a fault.

 

[Byakuya769]

What an idiot. An innocent man gets killed. The actual culprit (his wife) gets to live free and pursue more relationships.

Should have just divorced her.

How does that work? How is the guy innocent? How is the wife a culprit?

 

[params7]

N/M, was not thinking this straight.

 

[roflwaffles]

Its just my opinion. If a married women wants me, and I get attracted to her while being single, I won't stop myself (given she's not part of family/friends). Was the other dude married? If not, I don't think it was his fault. Its the women who cheated.

I agree with this for the most part, it's just that it sometimes leads to a physical confrontation. The woman in a relationship/marriage is the one with commitment to her significant other at stake, I don't hold any of those reservations.

Cheating is, of course, horrible but things are never as black and white as they seem, especially in a marriage setting.

 

[User 100115]

It takes two willing people to cheat on a standing relationship. In this case it was that man and this women, and they both have a fault. Both the man and the women ruined three lives.

The husband ruined 3 lives as well, they all have a fault.

...

Normal people wouldn't react to cheating with murder. MURDER IS NOT THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION TO CHEATING.

The man who was killed and the woman who was tied up and injured are not responsible for the murder. The guy who tied up and hurt the woman, and killed the man is responsible.

Everyone who is saying she is responsible...if I were to, I dunno, scream across a parking lot at you, say fuck you or something, and you decided to run me down in your car, IT WOULDN'T BE MY FAULT. You were the person that responded to something that wasn't your own imminent murder with murder.

 

[Byakuya769]

Its just my opinion. If a married women wants me, and I get attracted to her while being single, I won't stop myself (given she's not part of family/friends). Was the other dude married? If not, I don't think it was his fault. Its the women who cheated.

You may not be a cheater in that situation, but your actions are just as socially damaging. Sure, you didn't take a vow to not sleep with married people, but playing a role in making relationships more dysfunctional isn't laudable behavior. So I don't think you're "innocent" in that context, but I don't see how your innocence or guilt has much to do with being killed for exchanging body fluids.

 

[levious]

...

Normal people wouldn't react to cheating with murder. MURDER IS NOT THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION TO CHEATING.

The man who was killed and the woman who was tied up and injured are not responsible for the murder. The guy who tied up and hurt the woman, and killed the man is responsible.

Everyone who is saying she is responsible...if I were to, I dunno, scream across a parking lot at you, say fuck you or something, and you decided to run me down in your car, IT WOULDN'T BE MY FAULT. You were the person that responded to something that wasn't your own imminent murder with murder.

I'd like to think normal people wouldn't cheat either. Murder is certainly the crime here. And far worse of an action than infidelity. But unless the victim was completely in the dark about her marriage I have no sympathy. Much like someone who chooses to engage in criminal activity and ends up getting killed. They dont deserve to die but they put themselves in a bad situation.

 

[User 100115]

I'd like to think normal people wouldn't cheat either. Murder is certainly the crime here. And far worse of an action than infidelity. But unless the victim was completely in the dark about her marriage I have no sympathy. Much like someone who chooses to engage in criminal activity and ends up getting killed. They dont deserve to die but they put themselves in a bad situation.

The same exact results could have happened if she'd told him she wanted a divorce.

And seriously, in the scale of things, compared to murder and getting tied up and hurt, cheating is like leaving the toilet seat up.

She could have 'betrayed him' by leaving.

But because apparently he had 'ownership' of her girly parts, murder for cheating is logical to so many people, so they have no sympathy.

I do wonder if the thread had been about a woman who cut off the dudes junk for cheating, how different the replies would be. "Welp, he cheated! Deserved it.' I rather imagine it'd more be 'Wow, what a crazy bitch.'

 

[crozier]

Don't cheat, especially when you're married. People understandably (not to condone killing) don't react well when they've discovered you wasted years or even decades of their life...time they'll never get back that could have been spent with a loving spouse.

 

[User 100115]

Don't cheat, especially when you're married. People understandably (not to condone killing) don't react well when they've discovered you wasted years or even decades of their life...time they'll never get back that could have been spent with a loving spouse.

I'm sorry, but if someone is capable of murder because their spouse sleeps with someone else, they don't deserve to be married.

 

[crozier]

I'm sorry, but if someone is capable of murder because their spouse sleeps with someone else, they don't deserve to be married.

Most people are capable of murder if the right buttons are pushed. Doesn't have to be cheating...could be a family member gets molested or beaten.

 

[beril]

don't get how this is newsworthy or how the distance is relevant enough to be in the thread title, but holy fuck at some of the replies in here

 

[User 100115]

Most people are capable of murder if the right buttons are pushed. Doesn't have to be cheating...could be a family member gets molested or beaten.

Because cheating is on the same level as being molested or beaten?

Cheating is a relatively minor transgression compared to all the things that you can do to a person.

 

[crozier]

Because cheating is on the same level as being molested or beaten?

Cheating is a relatively minor transgression compared to all the things that you can do to a person.

In the moment it can be. Yeah. That's why people used to get off on temporary insanity in some cases.

And I strongly disagree that cheating is minor. I'd rather be beaten to a bloody pulp. It's one of the most twisted, emotionally-abusive things you can do to a person. Scars many for life.

 

[User 100115]

In the moment it can be. Yeah. That's why people used to get off on temporary insanity in some cases.

And I strongly disagree that cheating is minor. I'd rather be beaten to a bloody pulp. It's one of the most twisted, emotionally-abusive things you can do to a person. Scars many for life.

If your spouse or girlfriend sleeping with someone else is enough to scar you for life, or drive you to murder, I don't think you are emotionally stable enough to share your life with another person. I am sorry, that's just my opinion. Maybe I've just been through too much in my life to see cheating as anything other than someone moving on from me and knowing I just need to move on as well. I have a different perspective because I have had horrible, horrible things happen to me.

Cheating is one of the most common 'transgressions' that people commit. If you are unable to deal with that in a sane, rational way... I mean, sure, get upset and angry, that's your right, but letting it haunt you for life or drive you to take someone elses is not the mark of a mentally healthy person.

If my husband cheated on me? I would be upset. I would cry a lot likely. I would leave him. But I wouldn't murder him, or his lover, nor would I chop off his dick. Because seriously...what.

 

[commedieu]

Don't cheat, especially when you're married. People understandably (not to condone killing) don't react well when they've discovered you wasted years or even decades of their life...time they'll never get back that could have been spent with a loving spouse.

Why isn't this post "don't murder?" That is the actual event that caused death. Everyone has a choice to make, the Husband made a choice to kill a man. He did not have to. Hes the animal here.


Like Ghaeleon said, if he hits his daughter and breaks her arm for stealing money out of his wallet, is she to blame for his reaction to her actions? And what does our society value when it comes to blame? Is it just to comfort insecure males to know that they won't be frowned upon if they assault their wife or significant other for cheating, because while certainly people dont condone, they sure as hell make statements to support one side of the coin than the other. The horror, the wasted time!!!, etc. They go a long distance to add reasons why flat out murder is understandable, but never why its understandable, while not condoning it, to cheat. Why do you think that is? In a society where cheating is very common, newsworthy, and even affects our political system, at times. Why are cheaters not given the benefit of the doubt, as much as murdering gets?