Hi guys! I think you all deserve an update
It's been 4 months since that fateful night, they've been hard but enlighting at the same time, and, believe it or not, things DID change for the better!!
In GTA terms, I chose option C.
It was risky as hell.
I decided to apply again for the same college in a different carreer, in the second semester fo the year when 60000 people apply for 2000 vacants in 4 cities , and I needed to get in /my/ city (I have zero mobility, no, make that -1000 mobility) where tthere are only 600, and I needed to get into Industrial Engineering where there are only 45 vacants and it's the most sought for carreer in my city.
To prepare the exam I had to review subjects that I hadn't touched since high school, 5 years ago, things like phylosophy and biology and stuff, geography too. I was scared, becasue I once was good for those usbjects but for 5 years I had't touched them, and for the other subjects that i did practice (maths, physics, chemistry).. I just didn't feel I got good enough. I studied some stuff for months (I must accept that GTA V ate too much of study time heh) but still, anything could happen.
The exam was later pushed back because a student strike, I was really nervous, I had to keep the lie in my house that I was still studying, and the more time it passes, the longer I have to keep that lie. To make things worse, the strike had ruined my safe guard: I could have asked for readmission if I failed the exam in the original schedule, but as things got pushed back I had a call from the Chem. Ing department saying I had to decide if I wanted to reapply (and lose the chance to change carrers, return with terrible grades to a place where proffessors hated me and I had a long easly crumbling way forward) or resign to my rights as a student, so I couldn't reapply later. I chose the latter option, knowing that I could screw up things so bad suicide was the easiest way out.
Well, GAF, I'm glad to tell you that between those 60000 people I got the place No 360 and I was admitted in first place to Industrial Engineering, in my city.
You can't imagine how glad I am, now I can continue my studies in a carrer I really feel comfortable in, I can homologate all I had in Chem Ing and land at 6th semester (from 10). I told mum about it (I told her I was offered to change) and she told me she knew I wasn't comfortable before and she supports me, as does all my family (sans my father, but whatever). In terms of grades I start anew and I hope to have great grades. Oh, and for landing in 1st place to my carrer I don't have to pay for next semester, with the possibility of not having to pay the next ones if my grades are good enough.
In other words, of all possible scenarios, life, incredibly gave me the best one.
A long road awaits, but this time I'll walk through it with courage and peace in my mind, peace of that what I'll hopefully dedicate my life for, is something I choose for, something I can give all my passion too, and help people with it.
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So, that's all gaf, I just wanted to know what happened, this story is not finished yet of course, but I think that, if there is someone out there going for something similar, don't lose out hope, hope in yourself and your strenght, it's that strenght that will give you the reins of your life. It doesn't matter if all you do is mistakes, in the end, they are not someone else's, they are yours.
Cheers everyone
