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[t-storm]

More disturbingly... those boxers, wtf.

Just when you think a thread can't get any more horrifying.

 

[bomb]

So I came home from a long day and open the windows in my apartment to let in the breeze. I look down and see an SUV parked below. At first I didn't think anything of it but I saw movement and did a double take. I didn't believe what I saw.

There was a dude sitting in that suv fapping like the world was going to end any minute. He stopped briefly when I opened the window and started looking around but I hid and peeked through the blinds to see what he was going to do next. Rather than leaving, he legit pulls down his pants and grabs a jacket to cover and started having a two handed sausage party.

I called the police and reported it only for them to show up 30 minutes later and to crack masturbating jokes then leave.

What the fuck

You seriously called the cops? Geez

 

[dead souls]

Too much Internet for today.

You took the words from my mouth.

 

[Sai-kun]

You seriously called the cops? Geez

why wouldn't she?

 

[Sunset Samurai]

How many iPhone 5cs long was it?

 

[AnathemicOne]

Now in animated form

Dendi... I loved you

 

[Dicer]

More disturbingly... those boxers, wtf.

Just when you think a thread can't get any more horrifying.

I want a pair...

 

[PsihoPerihelion]

Bernardo > Sunhi

 

[Horse Detective]

Now in animated form

How did you...wha...

 

[GreatestHits]

Gaf, can you not just let people masturbate in public? Jesus! You didn't see anything graphic, neither did the dude who had his ear up against the stall in the other thread. And furthermore, YOU CALLED THE FUCKING COPS ON HIM? You act like he's cleaning a rifle with ISIS written on the side of it. Jesus GAF. So skittish and insufferable. Let a man service his rifle in peace.

*Logs out of GAF, rolls up car windows...scouts the area for gaffers*


Also, the gifs in this thread are horrible. Might even call the cops

 

[McLovin]

For some reason in my head the OP is Patrick Stewart and when the dude covered up with his jacket it was too late, because he already saw everything.

 

[Mass Effect]

I don't know if I made a mistake coming back to this thread or not.

 

[Dennis]

Now in animated form

Those shorts though.

 

[GreatestHits]

It's like, you have to put in quite an effort, just to be sure, beyond a doubt, that this person is doing something that offends you. You're putting in effort, to make sure you're offended. There's just something about that which doesn't sit right with me, especially when I'm releasing my frustrations on Baker and 5th

 

[WhiskerFrisker]

This thread gave me such a great laugh lol.

 

[Hex]

But who watches the watchmen

 

[Sora the Cat]

And I'm guessing that gif contains the precise moment they need to talk about.

Nah, the film gets way "darkier" than that. It's actually a really good movie.

 

[How About No]

Who knew a man jerking it in public could bring joy to so many people

Now in animated form

Now, how do I buy these boxers

 

[zeemumu]

OP's a sex detective.

 

[Messypandas]

 

[kame-sennin]

I would call the cops if someone was jerking off in front of my apartment. Shocked by how many people are giving OP shit for it.

While I'm generally against calling American police because of how quickly things can go wrong, this guy is most likely a sexual predator. People are acting as though he was picking his nose in his car - i.e., it's gross, but he foolishly thought no one would notice. That's unlikely. Men who masturbate in public are usually doing it with the intention of exposing themselves to a woman. That's why he was doing it for 30 minutes. He was waiting for a victim.

This guy was probably not doing this for sexual release, but in the hopes of exerting sexual power of a random woman. It's a sex crime, and one that many women have encountered on numerous occasions.

 

[whitehawk]

Shoulda just walked up to his car and caught him in the act.

 

[nocturnalis]

While I'm generally against calling American police because of how quickly things can go wrong, this guy is most likely a sexual predator. People are acting as though he was picking his nose in his car - i.e., it's gross, but he foolishly thought no one would notice. That's unlikely. Men who masturbate in public are usually doing it with the intention of exposing themselves to a woman. That's why he was doing it for 30 minutes. He was waiting for a victim.

This guy was probably not doing this for sexual release, but in the hopes of exerting sexual power of a random woman. It's a sex crime, and one that many women have encountered on numerous occasions.

I'm legit side-eyeing GAF. This is not okay, I thought you were better than this. Ghis is like reddit level of responses.

 

[gaugebozo]

This thread has been going on for a few days, I haven't been interested but why is everyone else so ...

 

[uncelestial]

I could understand the thread title "I just saw a man masturbate outside my window"... But "watched?"

 

[KurtFehl]

i need an adult.

 

[kitchenmotors]

You seriously called the cops? Geez

What kind of response?

I'm sorry, you're jerking off outside my house and being lewd, of course I'm going to call the cops.

Some of y'all are gross.

 

[...Scatter...]

Apparently OP's house is the place to be. Can I pre book a spot for about 1am tonight? Please do not raise more than one blind or I will see you.

 

[King Tubby]

Shoulda just walked up to his car and caught him in the act.

Okay, what is the source for this, because it looks like a fucking local news investigation team just rolled up on some guy jerking off on the side of the street.

 

[Apt101]

Should have recorded it so you could have mixed it to Ride of the Valkyries or some other uplifting song later. Would have been worth a lot of karma on Reddit.

 

[Jonm1010]

This reminds me of a time I was working at a wine bar in a residential condo/retail center.

All of the sudden one of the 50 or so people on the patio noticed a guy 3 stories up across the road beating his meat like he was punishing it. Completely naked, Lights on, clearly staring at some porn or something on TV.

Someone tried to throw some pebbles up there to try and get him to stop but he just kept going. Probably didn't even hear it.

Guy went on for about 5-10 minutes then just turned off the TV and seemingly went to bed.

I honestly felt a bit bad for the guy.

 

[Smellycat]

Incredible lol