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[Punished Miku]

Having confidence in real life and on the internet are 2 totally different things for a lot of people , the persona you portray anonymous online can vary greatly from person to person.

True, but he's also saying that for most people inexperienced with dating - the lack of confidence is all in their head for the most part. For a lot of people, if they get in a decent relationship it can be the thing that helps fix some of their anxiety and worries. He's probably completely fine, and if he meets the right girl, that will likely be enough to give him that little boost. Of course people can work on bettering themselves as you suggested, and it's good advice - but there's no substitute for having a little good luck sometimes.

 

[DESTROYA]

True, but he's also saying that for most people inexperienced with dating - the lack of confidence is all in their head for the most part. For a lot of people, if they get in a decent relationship it can be the thing that helps fix some of their anxiety and worries. He's probably completely fine, and if he meets the right girl, that will likely be enough to give him that little boost. Of course people can work on bettering themselves as you suggested, and it's good advice - but there's no substitute for having a little good luck sometimes.

Sure but it all starts with a little self confidence to get to that point but like you said taking the first step can be the hardest.
He is fine but needs to work on himself first. I hate to play internet psychologist without knowing the person face to face but the way he comes across is he has low self esteem

 

[Slings and Arrows]

MiyazakiHatesKojima

The smart phone of today is designed in such a way that it keeps you addicted; from pavlovian style notifications (like Redneckerz mentions) to the screen size, shape, hew and refresh rate.

Websites are designed for mobile phones in mind first. They hit you with headlines pulled straight from the Rhetoric/NLP playbook, designed to keep you hooked.

They employ the same techniques used by Mesmer, and later by those who use 'hypnosis' and psychological coaching, to keep your conscious mind switched off, so that they can more easily target your unconscious mind - which is a doddle to keep occupied.

It's called the trance effect and it occurs to everyone, almost daily. Ever looked at facebook or youtube and wondered where an hour has gone? You were in a 'trance' - i don't mean walking Zombies, i just mean the state of mind where you are no longer consciously aware of your decisions. Kind of like when you're driving on a motorway and you 'zone out' and go on 'auto-pilot' it's the same principal with phones.

All of that, combined with the curated content on the internet, bots on twitter using clever AI to keep you 'arguing' and locked in conversation (look at some of the NPC's in politics) and the phone being a fashion accessory, means that you will become an addict. Be it through social pressure, seeking external validation (part of some peoples 'strategy' but i won't go in to that here) or 'killing 10 minutes while dropping the kids off', you and every fucker else is hooked.

I don't know about your neck of the woods, but around here, you can't have a conversation for longer than 10 minutes without people whipping their phones out. I may be a boring cunt, but i don't bore people that quickly.

The best thing you can do is buy an old Nokia 3330, with no internet, and completely disconnect. The mobile phone and the internet are more addictive than crack and smack combined. Want proof? Ask a phone user to put their phone down and not use it, they can't. Smack heads can go without a fix longer than a phone user can.

Bin that shit and bin anyone around you who values Virtual reality and the company of text, over kinaesthetic engagements in real life. Because they're zombies and they're dead, Jim.

 

[teezzy]

I'd like to think that MiyazakiHatesKojima and I would get along really well IRL

 

[DESTROYA]

I'd like to think that MiyazakiHatesKojima and I would get along really well IRL

Sure but like you I think I can probably get along with everybody unless they are complete cunts or assholes.
Not everyone is the same

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

Go read Sousou no Frieren and stop making threads about the unabomber.

 

[CAB_Life]

Self care should be your first priority of the day, and it will take weeks to months of practice to cement it as a habit. It's not the phone, either, it's your attachment to it that requires rewiring. Technology is a marvellous tool, so long as it serves us and not the other way around. A personal anecdote...I used to be dangerously thin and poorly nourished (I'm 5'11'' feet tall and weighed 105 lbs--I weight 168 lbs now). One day I just got sick of myself and my excuses and started with the 100 pushups a day, then moved on to lighter home based equipment, then finally into gyms (and then out of them to calisthetics that are my mainstay). So since that shift in habits and for 20+ years now, I've been waking up early, having a tea (used to be coffee, but cut that out) and then I'm exercising by 5am or so. Everything else I do in the day is affected by this one moment of self-care and positive mind/ body/ spirit connection that's inherent to exercise. I'm more productive. I sleep better. I'm more alert and less prone to being distracted/ sad/ listless.

The pandemic is actually the perfect time to set yourself up with a fastidious and regimented schedule, especially as most of us are suddenly lacking routine. If you need any help with protocols and such, PM me and I'd be happy to help. Off the top of my head, I know that Adam Frater has a great entry level calisthetics program that requires next to no equipment and comes with an app, tracker and meal plan. Something like that is fantastic for building consistency and accountability.

Obviously I'm pushing physical exercise as the panacea to your ills, since it builds a number of character components in one activity: willpower, strength, focus, endurance, etc. Exercise also replaces the endorphin rush that our brains become addicted to from social media--nature's own high! (Cheesy, but true.)

 

[teezzy]

Sure but like you I think I can probably get along with everybody unless they are complete cunts or assholes.
Not everyone is the same

Fair, but MHK and I have specifically bonded over our love of 6th gen consoles, desire for self improvement, senses of humor, etc. We're fond of one another's jib cuts.

Hes more into anime and Sony. I'm more into Buffy and PC/Xbox. We meet in the middle there.

 

[Kev Kev]

“If I always do what I’ve always done,
then I’ll always be who I’ve always been”

that quote helped me get sober. Quit drinking 2.5 years ago. At the moment, I’m experiencing a lot of what you are describing. It’s weird bc it’s new to me, and even as I type this I’m in finding ways to deny it. But I know I spend too much time on screen.

There’s no denying that it has slowly had the opposite effect and is now making me generally unhappy. A big part of that unhappiness is thinking about all of the other things I’m not doing anymore. And that’s where that race to the bottom, downward cycle of depression and self destruction really kicks in. If only I weren’t so stubborn... but hey, I’m an addict, and to be an addict is to be a stubborn SOB. Ain’t that some shit...

So while sitting here, in the throes of a mind numbing depression episode, I looked up at my door and saw this piece of paper I taped to it, with that quote written on it. And I remembered how it helped me get clean to think of it that way: If I never change, then this will last forever, and I will never be any different than I am right now. And here I am, clean from alcohol for almost 3 years.

Look, I’m not saying you have to quit GAF forever. I’m not saying you have to quit it at all! I’m just saying that whatever it is you decide to do, it can be done, but you have to make the changes. I don’t know if that helps, but good luck to you, MiyazakiHatesKojima . Check out the sober thread in communities if you want to talk to some other people who have dealt with addiction. There’s some really good videos and stuff in there as well.

 

[Grand Theft Scratchy]

It's not GAF that's keeping me inside this Groundhog Day syndrome.

It's the phone and how addicted I've become to it because my dopamine releases have been tailor-made to the phone.

Hence, the dopamine detox where I will keep the phone away permanently tomorrow on a Sunday when i don't have to worry about calls from my manager or so.

GAF will always be a part of my life.

I just want to let go of the phone addiction, that's all.

It doesn't really make a difference if you post from your phone, your PC, your game console etc. Whatever working electronic device it is that gives you decent access to the internet will contribute to those dopamine releases because you receive notifications and reactions either way. Please don't just call it a phone addiction if you know the internet is the real issue. Of course it doesn't mean you have to give up the internet, but work on limiting how often you use it. So if creating music is how you really like to express yourself and something you really enjoy doing, something you take pride in at the end of the day, then definitely do it and also share it with others.

And I've said it before but I'll say it again, I really do want to read another one of your game reviews. The gaming side of NeoGAF has plenty of console war, sales, comparisons and meme threads but your Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow review was genuinely interesting and satisfying to read. If writing reviews was another thing you enjoy doing then please keep doing it. Any time that you go too long without starting and finishing a creative work, you'll only get rusty and harder to get back into the habit of doing it again, even though it should come easy because you enjoyed doing it before.

 

[TrainedRage]

Isn’t there an app you can get where at a certain time/times it shuts off the internet and won’t let you accessing it unless of emergencies etc?

 

[Halo is Back]

It's time for the internet purge for you bro. The phone is not the problem. Its your addiction to internet attention and escape from life. From now on, you get no more likes from me.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

Fair, but MHK and I have specifically bonded over our love of 6th gen consoles, desire for self improvement, senses of humor, etc. We're fond of one another's jib cuts.

Hes more into anime and Sony. I'm more into Buffy and PC/Xbox. We meet in the middle there.

But the buffyverse is so small. What do you read everyday fanfics? Spike no...

 

[Coolwhhip]

It's time for the internet purge for you bro. The phone is not the problem. Its your addiction to internt attention and escape from life. From now on, you get no more likes from me.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

I think we've been here before with MHK looking for affection.

Introducing.....MHK Mondays! (Starting December 7th, 2020)

NeoGAF is your online family, whether you like it or not. There is no other community more diverse and sane as our own here. I would have been an anti-social loser if it wasn't for my time here on GAF. Your lack of discipline caused one of our siblings to commit suicide.

www.neogaf.com

 

[Halo is Back]

 

[MrS]

Admitting is the 1st step

 

[BigBooper]

It's helpful to have a set schedule and stick to it when breaking routines. You have to make the change your new routine. If you have to, set an actual timer with an alarm to keep you honest and only browse the internet during that time. I have done that before and it works.

I had to split up with Facebook. That spiral of internet clout and forced smiles really depressed me because it all seemed so shallow. I have a slightly rebellious spirit, so I see that stuff and immediately think the most cynically way possible about it. Like the instagram thots going out to have a photo shoot holding a sponge after the riots. I spiral down the path of wondering if anyone is even real anymore. So I just cut myself off from Facebook. I activate my account if I have to find a specific person or restaurant reviews and then deactivate it again right after.

 

[Tschumi]

No troll.. i think this guy aughta be perma banned for his own quality of life.. would be a shame of course~

 

[Cyberpunkd]

Install an app like Freedom and block all websites you do not want to access.

 

[Devonshire]

Quitting Facebook and getting an awesome road bike did the trick for me.

Social media/internet habits can be bad for your mental health...recognizing that is the first step in breaking the cycle.

 

[teezzy]

No troll.. i think this guy aughta be perma banned for his own quality of life.. would be a shame of course~