I think my girlfriend is cheating on me , should i just break up with her ?

samoilaaa

samoilaaa

Member
Me and my girlfriend have been together for a couple of years , things have been going great , we are romantic with eachother , we make surprises with candle and flowers ( it doesnt even have to be a special occasion ) , we travel alot , the sex is great and often

Problem is that she started this new job a couple of months ago , i have a close friend there ( she knows that i know this guy but not that we are close ) and he told me that she was flirting with guys at work

Some guy was looking at a file and she pressed her chest to his arm to look too , when they were on a break they were joking and the guy put his forearm on her upper leg for a couple of seconds , he bumped into her and she asked him " are you trying to dominate me ? " , he was laying down on the floor and she was on the chair next to him shaking her leg and he grabbed her ankle and asked "you have too much energy ? " and she smiled and started shaking her leg faster

She does jokes with other guys too not just this one , she was walking in front him and stopped suddenly to make the guy bump into her , she did it a couple of times until the guy got annoyed and they started playfighting , he has the habit of grabbing her behind her neck when he want to say something to her

She fake punches guys and like to start playfighting , at a office party some guy danced really close to her back and she didnt say anything to him

I normally dont believe anything i hear even if it comes from a close friend so i asked her about it and she admitted and she said that it was just friendly stuff and i shouldnt worry

I dont know what to believe , is this just me being insecure ?
 
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I'd try to go through her phone without her knowing personally.

Some chick at work would do that where she stopped walking in front of me so I would bump into her ass. It was confirmed she wanted to bang me.
 
samoilaaa said:
I dont know what to believe , is this just me being insecure ?
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If she wants to cheat, she will cheat, nothing you can do about this. If it bothers you try to have an honest conversation, explain you are not trying to be a Saudi and forbid her contacts with other men, but it makes you uncomfortable. Tell her that you would not have gotten physical with another woman in the office, small talk and jokes are fine.

Communication above all.
 
crazepharmacist said:
I'd try to go through her phone without her knowing personally.
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shocked ron burgundy GIF
 
tough call. If she is cheating it'll be impossible to get the truth out of her. You may have to do some sleuth work. I've been cheating on and unless they are caught red handed you will never get the truth out of them. I'm not gonna lie you are in a very difficult position.

How much do you trust the guy that told you?
 
You should talk to her. Ask her about the rumors.

Because that is what they are Rumors about your GF. You didn't see it, and it is second hand. You should just talk to her about the job and how you care for her and if she has set proper boundaries with her colleagues. Make it some about yourself. Like I never have a woman alone in my office or flirt with others. Women love attention from people. There is a natural inclination to welcome it. She has to set the boundaries. And you need to have the conversation.

You also cannot get angry about it.

Stop sexing with people you are not married to, but that is a different conversation. Very Puritan of me.
 
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Drake said:
tough call. If she is cheating it'll be impossible to get the truth out of her. You may have to do some sleuth work. I've been cheating on and unless they are caught red handed you will never get the truth out of them. I'm not gonna lie you are in a very difficult position.

How much do you trust the guy that told you?
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very much but it is not important because she already admitted to all those things that he told me
 
Yeah she hella loose bruh bruh. Don't dump her though. Just keep her around for the pussy. wear condoms, don't kiss, and start shopping around. As soon as you find a replacement then tell her to scram.
 
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I think you should have an honest conversation with her. A big warning sign though is if she starts wanting to spend more time away from you or being very careful about her phone.

A friend's wife told him that her colleague hit on her and they both laughed about it. But she ended up cheating on him with the colleague and they divorced. What you told in your post is basically how these things start and she is clearly encouraging him by not setting up boundaries.

Cyberpunkd said:
shocked ron burgundy GIF
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Clearly you haven't read a lot of experiences on r/relationship_advice or r/infidelity lol. That's where I first learned about 'trickle truthing'. There are often lengthy chats in the phones which is how some spouses get confirmation for their fears. It's good to listen to one's gut when it comes to these things. Of course, being paranoid or possessive is a completely different thing.
 
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Y'all need to talk.
You're obviously uncomfortable enough about it to make this thread and seek our advice. Mention it to her and see how she reacts.
 
Celcius said:
Y'all need to talk.
You're obviously uncomfortable enough about it to make this thread and seek our advice. Mention it to her and see how she reacts.
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i did tell her and she said that its nothing to worry about and its just friendly stuff between coworkers but still i wouldnt enjoy seeing some guy grabbing my girlfriend's ankle
 
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samoilaaa said:
i did tell her and she said that its nothing to worry about and its just friendly stuff between coworkers
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Brushing off your concerns is kinda a red flag, and your friend thought it was sus enough to mention it to you as well...
I guess it just comes down to what you're comfortable with. Would she let you go through her phone?
 
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My philosophy is that if you (or really, anyone) thinks your partner is cheating...just leave.

Either they are cheating or they aren't and you've given yourself a complex that you are probably never gonna shake for as long as the relationship goes on.

There are literally billions of fish in the sea.
 
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I'd say the line was crossed once touching got involved. Some of them could be jokes, but those things combined with touching is flirting in my mind. Not cool
 
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AJUMP23 said:
Relationships are built on trust.
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Yes, but how can you trust someone that is this close to her male work friends? She admitted it. OP needs to gather more information.

Trust is important but you can't be stupid and trust someone blindly.
 
Bojji said:
Yes, but how can you trust someone that is this close to her male work friends? She admitted it. OP needs to gather more information.

Trust is important but you can't be stupid and trust someone blindly.
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Trust isn't blind. But he has to be able to say I trust you, and if something makes him uncomfortable, he needs to tell her that. He has to Trust that she will understand. And say it so he isn't accusing her, but about how great she is and try to say if you heard women were rubbing and bumping me at work, would you appreciate that?
 
She may just be a flirt and overly friendly in work, it can be a personality type, I've known women like it before, all harmless shit to get through the monatony of the day, humans are creatures of habit and if her personality around you hasn't changed, the sex is still good and she isn't making excuses to suddenly go out and play hide the sausage with her g/f's I'd ignore, from what I can tell some young guys seem to think they fucking own women or that women should be this conservative stay at home shite, who knows maybe your mate is over exaggerating everything or she's getting spit roasted over the copy machine.. but be warned if you bring up about what you've heard about her in work, prepare for a shit storm
 
I... think if they're a couple, they shouldn't do that, and it's disrespectful on her part.

You have to be very careful with that kind of behavior.

Women are fickle and play the victim.
 
She's not cheating yet, she's monkey branching and OP will be dumped as soon as she's found a suitable upgrade. Dump her first, then watch her suddenly get into a relationship with one of those new guys at work.
 
I've fucked girls at work where we haven't been acting like that in the workplace. Not really sure what to say as I don't know you but I'd be pissed at the lack or respect shown to me if she was carrying on like that with several different guys, letting them touch her and grind on her at work events.
 
AJUMP23 said:
You should talk to her. Ask her about the rumors.

Because that is what they are Rumors about your GF. You didn't see it, and it is second hand. You should just talk to her about the job and how you care for her and if she has set proper boundaries with her colleagues. Make it some about yourself. Like I never have a woman alone in my office or flirt with others. Women love attention from people. There is a natural inclination to welcome it. She has to set the boundaries. And you need to have the conversation.

You also cannot get angry about it.

Stop sexing with people you are not married to, but that is a different conversation. Very Puritan of me.
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You never have a woman in your office? Wtf? Can you not control your most base instincts? I used to have a very attractive boss that was really into me. In hindsight I should have cheated with her.
 
It sounds like your girlfriend knows how to cater to men and is choosing to be a flirt so she comes across as pleasant. Guys are much more willing to do stuff for the fun flirty girl at work than the Karen bitch.

I doubt she's cheating on you since you say the sex is great and often. You should stay with her unless you get something solid enjoy your amazing girlfriend and just focus on all the positive stuff she's doing for you.
 
Days like these... said:
You never have a woman in your office? Wtf? Can you not control your most base instincts? I used to have a very attractive boss that was really into me. In hindsight I should have cheated with her.
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I have women in my office without an issue. I was talking in this situation, it sounds like she should be in an office with anyone. I did have one co-worker that when she and I would meet she always wanted the door open, and that was fine with me because my conversation was always about work. When you meet with anyone it is always good to have another party present to protect yourself from everything in the litigious environment of today. Gender matters little with people that use and abuse HR to get people fired.
 
That's not too bad really. I thought she has done something worse when i opened this thread. Keep your trust in her for now.

Women dont like men with trust issues.
 
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SJRB said:
What the fuck kind of job is this?
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how dont know how to call it in english but its a company for designing buildings and they are split in a bunch of teams for 20-25 people and every team works on a project , my girlfriend is the only woman in her team
 
If this was my girl and I knew about this, I'd be out immediately, but not without some sort of talk first, but stuff like that can really stick and eat away at you if she gives you some roundabout apology. What kind of shit is that man? Fuck her.
 
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If you need more evidence, I dont know what to say at this point. A newcomer that starts flirting right away, the writing is on the wall.

If she hasn't already, she will. That's the way it is. How you take it, it's up to you.
 
It's already over, you just haven't admitted it to yourself yet.

Her behavior is what I would call "high risk". Sure, she COULD just be flirty and have ZERO intent on going further but what she is doing is getting alllllllll the guys lined up so all it takes is a single moment of weakness, being mad at you, insecurity about her appearance, or drunk at a party and one of these guys is gonna hop in there with vigor. "Playfighting" and that kinda stuff is a MASSIVE red flag IMHO.

If you never knew about how she acts then you could go on in blissful ignorance, but now you know and you are not cocky and arrogant enough to get past it. It's gonna eat at you. You will start to question every time she works late, or goes out to lunch, or has a phone conversation late at night while she is locked in the bathroom. That pit of acid will wear you down and hollow you out.

You COULD institute a lot of controls on her, check ins, track her phone, with or without her consent, but really, it's just over. Ain't no girl you don't have kids with worth that kinda grief, TBH. Time to cut bait and move on. She may yell and scream that "you insecure man how dare you dump me just for being a free woman!" but the reality is that she is browsing the dick aisle and there is a clock ticking away. I work with LOTS of women and ain't none of them doing that kind of shit without wanting attention in return and eventually someone higher than you on the ladder comes into the picture and its cheatsville.
 
nush said:
She's not cheating yet, she's monkey branching and OP will be dumped as soon as she's found a suitable upgrade. Dump her first, then watch her suddenly get into a relationship with one of those new guys at work.
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I agree with this. Classic testing of the waters in a new pool of potentials.

At the very least it's disrespectful to you and inconsiderate of your feelings. Someone who cares about you doesn't do that.
 
jason10mm said:
It's already over, you just haven't admitted it to yourself yet.

Her behavior is what I would call "high risk". Sure, she COULD just be flirty and have ZERO intent on going further but what she is doing is getting alllllllll the guys lined up so all it takes is a single moment of weakness, being mad at you, insecurity about her appearance, or drunk at a party and one of these guys is gonna hop in there with vigor. "Playfighting" and that kinda stuff is a MASSIVE red flag IMHO.

If you never knew about how she acts then you could go on in blissful ignorance, but now you know and you are not cocky and arrogant enough to get past it. It's gonna eat at you. You will start to question every time she works late, or goes out to lunch, or has a phone conversation late at night while she is locked in the bathroom. That pit of acid will wear you down and hollow you out.

You COULD institute a lot of controls on her, check ins, track her phone, with or without her consent, but really, it's just over. Ain't no girl you don't have kids with worth that kinda grief, TBH. Time to cut bait and move on. She may yell and scream that "you insecure man how dare you dump me just for being a free woman!" but the reality is that she is browsing the dick aisle and there is a clock ticking away. I work with LOTS of women and ain't none of them doing that kind of shit without wanting attention in return and eventually someone higher than you on the ladder comes into the picture and its cheatsville.
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i knew that she is the friendly type and she likes the attention , we even argued when we wanted to buy a pet , i wanted a cat and she wanted a dog because her words " a cat doesnt care about you , a dog will give me attention " and i told her " well even the dog might not give you attention because animals have different personalities too " and her response " Well he better because thats why we are getting him , im feeding him giving him shelter "

Shes the party type , constant on snapchat , she got one of those diamond stones in one of her front tooth , she has alot of bikini posts showing her ass , i didnt mind all these because she never got close to other men
 
Break up with her. This isnt normal. I dont know any woman who does this.

She's leading on guys. It's only a matter of time. You dont want to catch an STD. Move on.
 
samoilaaa said:
i knew that she is the friendly type and she likes the attention , we even argued when we wanted to buy a pet , i wanted a cat and she wanted a dog because her words " a cat doesnt care about you , a dog will give me attention " and i told her " well even the dog might not give you attention because animals have different personalities too " and her response " Well he better because thats why we are getting him , im feeding him giving him shelter "

Shes the party type , constant on snapchat , she got one of those diamond stones in one of her front tooth , she has alot of bikini posts showing her ass , i didnt mind all these because she never got close to other men
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Well, then you knew what you were getting into. Enjoy the ride my brother. Hit the gym, boost that T, then this shit won't bother you nearly as much.

and send me some pics on DM, yo! :P
 
jason10mm said:
Well, then you knew what you were getting into. Enjoy the ride my brother. Hit the gym, boost that T, then this shit won't bother you nearly as much.

and send me some pics on DM, yo! :P
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like i said i knew that she liked attention but never got close to other men , when we were going out she was always by my side and never entertaining other man

im not sending pics i will start an OF with them :messenger_grinning_sweat: , she might have some personality flaws but her ass is perfect
 
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