I think my girlfriend is cheating on me , should i just break up with her ?

If you feel uncomfortable by her behaviour, end the relationship, you do not have to rationalise it as her cheating/not cheating, respecting/disrespecting, you are entitled to and should always put your boundaries first for your own peace.

If her behavious at work makes you feel uncomfortable, find a lady who shares the same values as you.

Never settle, only Christ comes before you.
 
MidGenRefresh said:
If she cheats, she belongs to the streets.
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MrAlwaysRight said:
If you feel uncomfortable by her behaviour, end the relationship, you do not have to rationalise it as her cheating/not cheating, respecting/disrespecting, you are entitled to and should always put your boundaries first for your own peace.

If her behavious at work makes you feel uncomfortable, find a lady who shares the same values as you.

Never settle, only Christ comes before you.
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The Skull said:
She admitted flirting with other guys at work? Boot that bitch to the curb.
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Yes to all.
 
Go Away GIF
 
Are you living together?

My gut says this isn't shaping up to be a long term relationship, so:

If you are enjoying the ride, just cut out the romance stuff and use her for sex. Tell her to knock off the work flirting. Consider looking into other women (I'm not saying cheat, just build up some options ), when the inevitable comes, you aren't hung out for some time. You might find she gets even more into you this way.

Or punt her. Focus on you and finding someone higher quality that builds you up as a long-term partner.
 
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Honest conversation with GF would most likely lead to "why are you so insecure" situation, pushing her further away.

Detach your feelings from her. Maybe she is cheating, maybe not.
But trying to find out from the horse's mouth = definitely not a good idea.

Do what you love and have fun with your friends, hobbies, etc - go out and enjoy without her.
Be nice and courteous to your GF, keep a cool head.
Maybe watch a movie that has a cheating partners - and casually mention how you feel about cheating.

If you detach your feelings, even if she leaves - you are 100% better prepared. But sometimes, she would come back - seeing you happy and content.

Having said so....
If you really want to find out, come up with a discreet plan that doesn't expose you - but keep that info to yourself only. Not even family member or friend - unless you trust them with everything you've got. (Or just hire a detective) No good will come out if you tell her you've been snooping on her - that that in itself would become her weapon.

If you are 100% sure with proof that she's cheating - don't bring up about the cheating part and you've been looking into it - just tell her that you don't want to be in this relationship any longer. When she asks why, just make it vague, or best yet - just leave.
 
The stop short move so you bump in to them is 100% a sign she wants this guy to rail her. Also this office sounds completely insane.
 
jason10mm said:
It's already over, you just haven't admitted it to yourself yet.

Her behavior is what I would call "high risk". Sure, she COULD just be flirty and have ZERO intent on going further but what she is doing is getting alllllllll the guys lined up so all it takes is a single moment of weakness, being mad at you, insecurity about her appearance, or drunk at a party and one of these guys is gonna hop in there with vigor. "Playfighting" and that kinda stuff is a MASSIVE red flag IMHO.

If you never knew about how she acts then you could go on in blissful ignorance, but now you know and you are not cocky and arrogant enough to get past it. It's gonna eat at you. You will start to question every time she works late, or goes out to lunch, or has a phone conversation late at night while she is locked in the bathroom. That pit of acid will wear you down and hollow you out.

You COULD institute a lot of controls on her, check ins, track her phone, with or without her consent, but really, it's just over. Ain't no girl you don't have kids with worth that kinda grief, TBH. Time to cut bait and move on. She may yell and scream that "you insecure man how dare you dump me just for being a free woman!" but the reality is that she is browsing the dick aisle and there is a clock ticking away. I work with LOTS of women and ain't none of them doing that kind of shit without wanting attention in return and eventually someone higher than you on the ladder comes into the picture and its cheatsville.
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It's not even necessary. I've never done that text-spying thing... It's polite, and men don't do it. If your friend feels bad, leave her... Many women are losing control...

And the important thing is your physical and psychological well-being... No man deserves that kind of abuse. If you feel or experience that kind of toxic behavior, leave her... And if you block her...even better.

And if she calls you names or starts insulting you or calls you insecure... Don't even answer them, IGNORE HER. That's the bad thing about social media: it exposes you to obsessions and compulsive thoughts... That's why I never use Facebook or Instagram.
 
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Jaybe said:
Are you living together?

My gut says this isn't shaping up to be a long term relationship, so:

If you are enjoying the ride, just cut out the romance stuff and use her for sex. Tell her to knock off the work flirting. Consider looking into other women (I'm not saying cheat, just build up some options ), when the inevitable comes, you aren't hung out for some time. You might find she gets even more into you this way.

Or punt her. Focus on you and finding someone higher quality that builds you up as a long-term partner.
Click to expand...
yes we are , we bought an apartment together
 
lachesis said:
Honest conversation with GF would most likely lead to "why are you so insecure" situation, pushing her further away.

Detach your feelings from her. Maybe she is cheating, maybe not.
But trying to find out from the horse's mouth = definitely not a good idea.

Do what you love and have fun with your friends, hobbies, etc - go out and enjoy without her.
Be nice and courteous to your GF, keep a cool head.
Maybe watch a movie that has a cheating partners - and casually mention how you feel about cheating.

If you detach your feelings, even if she leaves - you are 100% better prepared. But sometimes, she would come back - seeing you happy and content.

Having said so....
If you really want to find out, come up with a discreet plan that doesn't expose you - but keep that info to yourself only. Not even family member or friend - unless you trust them with everything you've got. (Or just hire a detective) No good will come out if you tell her you've been snooping on her - that that in itself would become her weapon.

If you are 100% sure with proof that she's cheating - don't bring up about the cheating part and you've been looking into it - just tell her that you don't want to be in this relationship any longer. When she asks why, just make it vague, or best yet - just leave.
Click to expand...

Detaching your feelings hurts both people in the long run, it helps her justify her poor behaviour, it hurts OP because he's not being true to himself.

Being discrete and sneaky to validate your feelings isn't worth the effort, the alpha move is being one with Christ, having an honest conversation that just says 'I'm sorry, I don't see this relationship going any further, i hope you find somebody who shares your values in the future, goodbye'

As a man you always need to keep your emotions in control, but in order to do this, you have to validate your emotions and understand what they mean, confirming his girlfriend is for the streets adds nothing of value to his life, infact it emasculates him, it makes him insecure in future relationships and breeds a culture of paranoia.

Simply accept that you are incompatible because she chose to act in a way that you do not value in a future wife/mother of your children.

Just move on.
 
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"and she admitted and she said that it was just friendly stuff and i shouldnt worry"
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That's how it always starts and then boom, feelings are caught.

If she had any respect for you and the relationship, she wouldn't be doing that.
 
Flirting that outrageously, is just a couple of steps before having sex with another guy.
For her to do that, it's because she has little respect for your relationship and you.
 
samoilaaa said:
yes we are , we bought an apartment together
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Reading all this, I just want to get across: Breaking up is not a big deal unless you have kids. Even if you bought a home together, have pets together, etc. It might seem like a big deal to end a relationship and deal with figuring out all the finances, but it's honestly nothing compared to breaking up after you have a kid.

If you're mostly happy and a little annoyed, I wouldn't leave yet. I would see how this goes. But I would also be very careful and don't get her pregnant. See how things develop over time.
 
clarky said:
Absolutely do not do this. What terrible advice.
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Maybe, maybe not.

This could give him the answer. I woudn't trust someone that does this in her workplace.

AJUMP23 said:
Trust isn't blind. But he has to be able to say I trust you, and if something makes him uncomfortable, he needs to tell her that. He has to Trust that she will understand. And say it so he isn't accusing her, but about how great she is and try to say if you heard women were rubbing and bumping me at work, would you appreciate that?
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She does all those things on purpose. I think there is more than 50% chance that she will cheat on OP or she is already doing that.
 
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Bojji said:
Maybe, maybe not.

This could give him the answer. I woudn't trust someone that does this in her workplace.



She does all those things on purpose. I think there is more than 50% chance that she will cheat OP or she is already doing that.
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As soon as you do this trust is broken and you'll never get it back.

If you think you need to snoop on your partner then you already have the answer.

I've made this mistake.
 
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Been through this myself. Your gut is probably right my friend. Decide if you want to keep going or exit. Personally, I felt betrayed and know I would never trust anything they ever said again.
 
clarky said:
As soon as you do this trust is broken and you'll never get it back.

If you think you need to snoop on your partner then you already have the answer.

I've made this mistake.
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My woman have done this on me, she found nothing (and I wasn't cheating of course). She admitted to it, I was angry at first but not for long.

I don't trust her 100% and she doesn't trust me 100% (I think I trust her 80% and she trusts me 70%, haha), and that's the way to go - we are only humans. "Trust, but verify".
 
Bojji said:
My woman have done this on me, she found nothing (and I wasn't cheating of course). She admitted to it, I was angry at first but not for long.

I don't trust her 100% and she doesn't trust me 100% (I think I trust her 80% and she trusts me 70%, haha), and that's the way to go - we are only humans. "Trust, but verify".
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I get into this stuff with my wife sometimes because when she is feeling insecure she defaults to thinking I'm out ramrodding every petite thin big titted chick I can catch.

I tell her that I just act in a "defensive manner" ALL THE TIME, which means no 1 on 1 conversations outside of work issues, definitely no sharing of personal stuff, ABSOLUTELY no meeting up outside of work for drinks or whatever. That shit heads straight to an emotional connection and then to boning. I've had chicks at work come on to me and I just go full on autistic mode and play the robot, they quickly lose interest. None of them have been hot enough to create much internal debate about the issue :P

My wife though, thinks she can "be one of the guys" at work because she works with mostly men. That includes drinks after work at times. I am not that cool with that stuff but what are yah gonna do? That's when working on your own insecurities comes in and you have to elevate your own confidence to to be dependent on her actions for your own happiness. I trust my wife but also know that men will exploit, especially when alcohol is around, so the sad situation is that unless a group of women can really rally around and guard each other it's only a matter of time before a guy tries his luck with the girl 2 cubicles over who is always chatting with him about pokemon.
 
Yea she's probably cheating. Your gut is likely telling you the truth, and I don't even think describing the situation helps because you know how she normally behaves and you know enough that this behavior is enough to raise a warning flag.

As for how you want to play this, it's up to you. You could just break up with her, but that's basically the nuclear option. You could confront her, do you expect her to tell you the truth or come clean? Do you trust her if she says "you are crazy, Im not cheating"? Would the accusation affect the relationship irreparably? All these questions needs to be answered to decide on your course of action.
 
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diffusionx said:
Yea she's probably cheating. Your gut is likely telling you the truth, and I don't even describing the situation helps because you know how she normally behaves and you know enough that this behavior is enough to raise a warning flag.

As for how you want to play this, it's up to you. You could confront her, do you expect her to tell you the truth or come clean? Do you trust her if she says "you are crazy, Im not cheating"? Would the accusation affect the relationship irreparably? All these questions needs to be answered to decide on your course of action.
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like another guy said here she will never admit to it unless caught with evidence , i cant accuse her of more than i wrote here
 
demigod said:
Did you buy a condo or do you mean you rented an apartment together? It's time to move on and find another fish. Don't have a kid with her, you will regret it.
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not renting we bought an apartment its on both of our names , forgot to say that we are engaged and supposed to marry in summer 2027 , im gonna update the OP

my mind is going crazy , 13h shifts were already tiring now i got this to think about , fucking shit
 
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diffusionx said:
Yea she's probably cheating. Your gut is likely telling you the truth, and I don't even think describing the situation helps because you know how she normally behaves and you know enough that this behavior is enough to raise a warning flag.

As for how you want to play this, it's up to you. You could just break up with her, but that's basically the nuclear option. You could confront her, do you expect her to tell you the truth or come clean? Do you trust her if she says "you are crazy, Im not cheating"? Would the accusation affect the relationship irreparably? All these questions needs to be answered to decide on your course of action.
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Yeah, that's the tough one.

It's possible this girl is just new to the job market, is all excited, and just has a happy flirty demeanor. Though sounds like she is a bit attention seeking, and uses her body for that attention (rather than, say, posting her high chess ranking). She's gonna attract guys like a moth to a bright flame and eventually a 6-7-8 is gonna come into the picture for a quick use and abuse and then it is off to the races for her.

Asking her about it MIGHT get her all apologetic and a self-realization that she might be leading all these dudes on. But accountability isn't often a pretty girls strongest attribute so she'll more than likely blow off the OP's concern, gaslight him a bit, and double down on the workplace flirtations because now he has revealed a chink in his confidence armor.

Maybe she likes the jealousy display and OP has been coasting for a while. Or she is getting antsy about where this relationship is going, is it a lifelong one, and what other options might she have while she has the goods to attain it.
 
samoilaaa said:
Me and my girlfriend have been together for a couple of years , things have been going great , we are romantic with eachother , we make surprises with candle and flowers ( it doesnt even have to be a special occasion ) , we travel alot , the sex is great and often

Problem is that she started this new job a couple of months ago , i have a close friend there ( she knows that i know this guy but not that we are close ) and he told me that she was flirting with guys at work

Some guy was looking at a file and she pressed her chest to his arm to look too , when they were on a break they were joking and the guy put his forearm on her upper leg for a couple of seconds , he bumped into her and she asked him " are you trying to dominate me ? " , he was laying down on the floor and she was on the chair next to him shaking her leg and he grabbed her ankle and asked "you have too much energy ? " and she smiled and started shaking her leg faster

She does jokes with other guys too not just this one , she was walking in front him and stopped suddenly to make the guy bump into her , she did it a couple of times until the guy got annoyed and they started playfighting , he has the habit of grabbing her behind her neck when he want to say something to her

She fake punches guys and like to start playfighting , at a office party some guy danced really close to her back and she didnt say anything to him

I normally dont believe anything i hear even if it comes from a close friend so i asked her about it and she admitted and she said that it was just friendly stuff and i shouldnt worry

I dont know what to believe , is this just me being insecure ?
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Too many red flags there, buddy. Way too many.
 
samoilaaa said:
not renting we bought an apartment its on both of our names , forgot to say that we are engaged and supposed to marry in summer 2027 , im gonna update the OP

my mind is going crazy , 13h shifts were already tiring now i got this to think about , fucking shit
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You bought a whole complex or something? How much does it cost? Uh oh being engaged, not a good sign.
 
Any signs like

Started buying new clothes? New underwear? New smellies (perfumes etc) that are not like her usual stuff?

Spends loads more time getting ready before she goes out to work?

Started a new diet or keep fit plan?

Started meeting 'the girls' after work for drinks?

Fucks off to another room to read text messages when she never did before? Or takes her phone fucking everywhere when she never did before?

Started to work late?

How well do you trust the dude feeding you all this shit? A mad idea but could it actually be him trying to flex your girlfriend and him telling you it's her with someone else to try and make it seem better?
 
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I have many threads I want to post in, but I'm out of town and in Vegas for the crazy weekend of fights and Raiders football. But I wanted to post here. So feel special!

Peace, brother. That's what you (and everyone) deserves in a relationship. If you don't have peace 95% of the time, then that's not a loving relationship. Partners are just that. They pick you up when you are down. Never judging. Never challenging. In my 17 years of marriage, I have never had a fight with my wife. We disagree on tons of stuff, but never to the point of anger or hurt feelings. I raised my voice once with her, but it wasn't even about her. I was mad that the dog, as we were house training it. She's never raised hers to me.

So basically, if your girlfriend doesn't make you feel loved, you need to let her know what you want, and how you want it communicated. Love language is different for people. Me, mine is physical. My wife's is action, meaning she feels loved when a meal is cooked or a date night is planned. Hahaha, or when she purposely sticks her butt out to get spanked.

Peace, brother. That's what it's all about.
 
samoilaaa said:
not renting we bought an apartment its on both of our names , forgot to say that we are engaged and supposed to marry in summer 2027 , im gonna update the OP

my mind is going crazy , 13h shifts were already tiring now i got this to think about , fucking shit
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Marriage Counselling, ASAP!

If you have put a ring on it, she needs to know how you feel. You got plenty of time to work it out before the commitment becomes a lot more substantial. I can't stress enough to go get counselling so she can hear you out in a mediated setting and can respond to you, hopefully, without going defensive mode.

ENTIRELLY possible she has no intentions to cheat and feels free to flirt because she's committed to you. But she's gotta agree to a compromise on the behavior and if she doesn't, it ain't gonna work out betwixt you and waaaaay better to find that out now than after a $50k wedding.

But relax, doesn't seem like she's about to elope with a dude tonight, get some sleep and clear your head. The counselling a part of getting married doesn't have to put her on blast about the workplace activities, you can just tell the counsellor in private to help work through it.

Can also engage her bestie or sister, if they are close AND you know them well. Not to spy for you (or possibly lie for her) but to help you figure out how to bring it up to her as they presumably know her far better than you. If they know she's getting side-dick, or at least talking about wanting it, then their willingness to help, or not, may be revealing. But if she is nothing but goo-goo over you, then they ought to be invested in helping you out. Not an intervention type thing, but just recs for how best to bring it up, reassurance (if you think they will be truthful) that things are ok, or to talk to her on their own because they have the same concerns.

How old is this girl? Really just sounds like she needs some maturing time.
 
Windle Poons said:
Any signs like

Started buying new clothes? New underwear? New smellies (perfumes etc) that are not like her usual stuff?

Spends loads more time getting ready before she goes out to work?

Started a new diet or keep fit plan?

Started meeting 'the girls' after work for drinks?

Fucks off to another room to read text messages when she never did before? Or takes her phone fucking everywhere when she never did before?

Started to work late?
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none of those , the only thing is that she is fit but she always was , she is working out since 17
 
She may not be cheating (yet) but she definitely gets her dopamine shots from being hit on. Plus she doesn't respect you enough to hide it.

So if you don't have any kind of humiliation fetish, get the fuck out.

Run Away GIF
 
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