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If Gilligan's Island was real, what do you think the bonig situation would have been?

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I think you can take the Howells out of the equation, since they're married and old. If they're doing anyone they're doing each other. But now you've got a problem: you've got two very attractive women, but only one attractive man, the professor. (I think that since this series was written in the 60s, we can assume that none of the characters were gay.) So who is boning who here? I think the two most attractive people, the professor and Ginger, would probably be a couple. So what does Mary Ann do? Have sex with or "date" Gilligan or the Skipper, even though they're both unattractive betas? Does she do the Professor on the side? I think Gilligan might have a shot somewhere, but any way you slice it, I think the Skipper is forever alone. I feel bad for the guy.
 
Oh dear god.

Can you edit that for style? Also please please use autocorrecrion

On topic: no one was boning anyone. It was a tv show.
 

Sapiens

Member
Maryanne and Ginger - everyone else only get to watch.

Edit - the coconut milk keeps their breasts supple and creamy - maybe the professor fashioned a double end dildo for them - but he still only gets to watch.
 

Pein

Banned
Obviously the Professor would have gotten all the play, Ginger and Mary ann would share him. Who would want the Skipper or Gilligan? those guys were ugly as fuck.
 

RELIGHT

Banned
Depending on how long and how many people, things could get pretty desperate. Also you'd have to consider sexual orientation too. If there was gay man, 1 straight woman, and 1 gay woman what would happen? Is it like prison where after a while some engage in same sex relations? Or do you stick to your sexuality? Things could get interesting.
 

MrToughPants

Brian Burke punched my mom
I think you can take the Howells out of the equation, since they're married and old. If they're doing anyone they're doing each other. But now you've got a problem: you've got two very attractive women, but only one attractive man, the professor. (I think that since this series was written in the 60s, we can assume that none of the characters were gay.) So who is boning who here? I think the two most attractive people, the professor and Ginger, would probably be a couple. So what does Mary Ann do? Have sex with or "date" Gilligan or the Skipper, even though they're both unattractive betas? Does she do the Professor on the side? I think Gilligan might have a shot somewhere, but any way you slice it, I think the Skipper is forever alone. I feel bad for the guy.

LMFAO lost it here.
 

The Real Abed

Perma-Junior
Other than the Howell's who were totally still active. I like to think Gilligan and Mary Anne were together. At least that was my fantasy.
 

Forceatowulf

G***n S**n*bi
I think the two most attractive people, the professor and Ginger
Umm, excuse the fuck out of me? Mary-Ann > Ginger. Period.

Why does everyone always sleep on, Mr. Howell? You don't think that dude would have been down to give those girls some old man dick the moment he got an opportunity? Dudes an old-school classical pimp. I've always known this.

But at the end of the day, Gilligan, Skipper, and Mrs. Howell are getting the least amount of action. At some point they will have an orgy, a dick will slip where it shouldn't have and then Skipper and Gilligan start dating. Mrs. Howell kills herself. Professor gets jealous of Mr. Howell gaming on his girls and he figures out a sneaky way to kill him (probably figures out a way to turn a cocoanut into an explosive on some McGuyver/Jack Bauer shit). Professor lives out his days trying to create the perfect birth control and succeeds where many other scientists with much more to work with have failed.

Professor, Mary-Ann, Ginger, Gilligan, and Skipper live relatively happily ever after.

The End
 

BocoDragon

or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
None of the characters are gay?

Gilligan and the Skipper.. hello?
 
799234d1368638200-bucket-list-hells-ya-lawrence-office-space.jpg
 

Dali

Member
It would totally be the prison rule. "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Meaning Gilligan or even the skipper would be smashing.
 

Mxrz

Member
Wait. How was Skipper the beta? From what I remember, he pretty much ran that island.

And if it were real, then everyone would be dead or murderers after the first year or so.
 

antonz

Member
Skipper would be getting Maryanne before Gilligan. Those ditzy country gals don't mind some chub and plus Skipper was basically Lord of the Island while Gilligan was his jester.
 
I thought it was a typo and the OP was asking about the bong situation. My answer is that gilligan was totally baked 90% of the time
 

Forceatowulf

G***n S**n*bi
or maybe some sort of device that can deliver blunt force trauma to the head.
Please, The Professor ain't gettin' his hands dirty like that. c'mon breh

He'd probably rig the radio to explode in Howell's face after he asked him to come over and take a listen, and just tell the others accidents happen and then they forget about it (what are they gonna do, question the validity of his story when he's their only real ticket off that island? No, they'll just let it go.), or something badass like that I imagine.

He's not the type to just straight up bludgeon people. He's better than that. More sophisticated.
 

Darkmakaimura

Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I thought it was a typo and the OP was asking about the bong situation. My answer is that gilligan was totally baked 90% of the time
Truthfact: Bob Denver, who played Gilligan, got arrested once for marijuana.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Denver

Denver was arrested for having a box of marijuana delivered to his home in 1998. He originally said that the box had come from Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, but he later refused to name her in court and testified that "some crazy fan must have sent it." The police reportedly found more of the plant and related paraphernalia in Denver's home. He pleaded no contest and received six months probation.
 

AniHawk

Member
Please, The Professor ain't gettin' his hands dirty like that. c'mon breh

He'd probably rig the radio to explode in Howell's face after he asked him to come over and take a listen, and just tell the others accidents happen and then they forget about it (what are they gonna do, question the validity of his story when he's their only real ticket off that island? No, they'll just let it go.), or something badass like that I imagine.

He's not the type to just straight up bludgeon people. He's better than that. More sophisticated.

you never know what you're capable of. my great-uncle never thought he'd gun down a german plane, but last year he proved everyone wrong.
 

dejay

Banned
Ginger is too vacuous for the Prof - he'd go with MA, who's more his style.

Thurston's loaded, so Ginger would be having an affair with him.

Everyone else masturbates.

Is there a Gilligan's Island porn? (fake edit) Yes, yes there is.
 

Darkmakaimura

Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
More than likely Gilligan was bonig Mary Ann if she really was supplying him with weed.
 

Koomaster

Member
No way the Howells don't have an open arrangement.

Mrs. Howell - Skipper
Mr. Howell - Ginger - Professor
Mary Ann - Gilligan
 
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