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IGN Alien Hominid review
- Thread starter Father_Brain
- Start date
FortNinety
Member
I've read some poorly worded shit from IGN before, but this really takes the cake. Who the fuck is this Ivan guy anyway?
Mr_Furious
Member
Hey IGN,
Fire Ivan and hire me as your freelance reviewer. I couldn't do any worse
When do I start?
Mr_Furious
Fire Ivan and hire me as your freelance reviewer. I couldn't do any worse
When do I start?
Mr_Furious
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
I didn't quite see what was so downright terrible about that closing statement -- but whatever.
Ninja Scooter
Member
wtf is this game? And why does saying the name of it give me an uncontrollable erection?
You sir, are in serious need of some FBI ownage.Ninja Scooter said:
http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/59593
ThirstyFly
Member
Blah! Does anyone know any Canadian retailers that'll have this? It's not listed on Amazon.ca or Futureshop.ca.
I hope EB is going to have it in stock.
I hope EB is going to have it in stock.
No, no no no, no no no no no no no this can't have gotten through the editor.
Does IGN even have an editor? They need a god damn editor.
Edit: In fact scratch that, any decent editor would be broken by the end of the first week, first day if this Ivan dude submitted something.
Unless of course the editor is a sadistic bastard who enjoys ripping drivel to shreds. That'd be interesting.
FortNinety
Member
AlphaSnake said:
You have to be joking.
I'll go ahead and sound like a moron: what is so bad about this review? I found it boring, but I don't think it's horrible. Was it bad grammatically? Factually flawed? Someone please explain instead of just saying the guy's an idiot, because I can't help but think Ivan's prior blunders are influencing everyone's opinion a bit.
Jumpman Jr.
Member
Fifty said:
:lol
open_mouth_
insert_foot_
Madrin said:
these guys are just MGS3 fanboyz and are Ivan Suckit haterz becuzz he likes to report about teh Halo2 more.
kaching said:
Yes, we are. Let's look at the final paragraph before the closing comments.
Ivan Sulic said:
(1) Incorrect usage of the word "then," which should be used to signify a progression of events; this word should be eliminated entirely ("...but it is just $20"). Also, the game lists for $30.
(2) What on earth is this "PDA"? How does it relate to the main game--is it accessed separately from the main menu, or within the main game itself, or is it unlockable, or what? This comes out of nowhere, and it isn't mentioned until this paragraph.
(3) I'd hyphenate "single-screen" here, but that depends on IGN's in-house style sheet (let's assume, for the moment, that they have one).
(4) "some kind of ultra old school": I don't even know what to do with this. Maybe you could thow in a hyphen between "ultra" and "old", or "old" and "school." This phrase should probably be eliminated completely, as it only makes the reviewer's opinion seem more vague.
(5) I've played all three of the games mentioned here, yet this sentence does nothing to tell me what the nature of this "PDA game" is, other than a basic platformer. I'm more confused than I was before. If I hadn't played any of these games, this sentence would nevertheless be completely useless to me, as there is not even a brief description of the "PDA's" game mechanic.
(6) I'd replace "addicting" with "addictive" to increase readability.
(7) This tells me nothing at all about the "PDA", and only helps to discredit the reviewer's qualifications to talk about the game with any authority.
(8) "mini-game scenarios": this should be replaced with something simpler, like "levels" or "stages."
(9) Fragment--get rid of it. (If the rest of the paragraph had been written more clearly, I'd've been able to tell for myself that the PDA was "very good stuff.")
I picked this paragraph to examine because it has relatively few errors when compared with the rest of the article, and I don't have enough time to line-edit the whole thing.
You guys do know that this isn't academic literature but about a guy who is reviewing a game. If you look at any review you will find flaws and mistakes, but to bash the poor fellow is un-called for. Some people need to lighten up a little. The review he wrote is just fine, he gets the main points across and if you can't understand what he wrote then maybe you shouldn't be bashing him in the first place.
McLesterolBeast
Member
Holy crap. Not only do you have entirely too much time on your hands, but your editing comments/corrections are laughably nit-picky and completely unnecessary. Seriously, can't you guys find anything real to substantiate your claims that Ivan writes like a seven-year-old?Prospero said:
That does nothing by itself to establish his writing as worse than what's the norm at IGN. In addition, some of the examples of poor writing that you identify are stylistic choices for the individual writer to make or, as you point out in one case, possibly based on following what is codified in the publication's style sheet.Prospero said:
FortNinety
Member
Prospero said:
Outstanding breakdown. Too bad you had to trouble yourself with spelling out the obvious.
Pakkidis@hotmail.com said:
You know what? This bullshit attitude of "hey it's only a game review so it doesn't have to be written well" is what's hurting game journalism the most today, and is the real reason why things may never get better. I guess it will always be shit if people like living in shit.
MarkRyan said:
yup, this pretty much sums up why IGN has fucking SHIT for writers.
find something real to substantiate our claims? i thought prospero did a good job finding something like 9 REAL REASONS.
for more ivan suckit: http://www.1up.com/do/reviewPage?cId=3110189&did=1
Mr_Furious
Member
You do know this guy is getting paid to type up that review? IGN isn't some fansite (arguable) but is supposed to be a "professional" video game site and is being run like a business. There's a certain level of english and grammar comprehension that should be expected IGN's staff and it's readership. I wouldn't give 2 shits about Ivan's review if it were from a fansite but it's not :-\Pakkidis@hotmail.com said:
Too bad he went to the trouble of answering a question I didn't ask. The inadequacies of Ivan's writing weren't in dispute. The question was, why is this particular piece drawing more fire for it, esp. given that the same complaints are levelled at IGN prose in general?FortNinety said:
To the people who say, "Oh my God it's just a video game review," to you I say:
Oh my God shut the fuck up.
Because of you, these reviewers, who are being paid, can think that what they do isn't all that important. Way to justify their negligence by acting like a moron. There are plenty of people who are more qualified than the ones writing at "professional" sites, and who would eat babies to take their places, and then you just say, "u take thingz 2 srsly." Shut the fuck up.
Oh my God shut the fuck up.
Because of you, these reviewers, who are being paid, can think that what they do isn't all that important. Way to justify their negligence by acting like a moron. There are plenty of people who are more qualified than the ones writing at "professional" sites, and who would eat babies to take their places, and then you just say, "u take thingz 2 srsly." Shut the fuck up.