I'm not okay

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OP please go get help. There is plenty of help available for things like this, psychiatrists, counselors.

Everyone falls down sometimes and deserve the help. Get it. They will help you with your life!

Stay awesome.
 
Work on your physical health too man. If best semester ever was when you were going to the gym, at least do some workouts to help gain that back. An hour a day on your health isn't much.
 
Admitting that I'm lying will just make it worse. I lie to my parents every time something isn't perfect because they freak the fuck out when it's not. They're both teachers, education is life to them.
I'm pretty confident that your well being is far more important to them at the end of the day. They may get mad at you for a bit but they'll get over it.
 
Huh, don't think I read this one in the confessions thread. What's it abo--
I have extremely intense social anxiety issues associated with disappointment, falling below expectations, or failing to manage my responsibilities, to the point where it has severely damaged my life and is probably about to do again. I failed out of college during my first year because I wasn't doing well in some classes and instead of trying to improve I just decided to stop going so I wouldn't have to face how poorly I was doing. I stayed in my room, started staying up all night and eating poorly, stopped talking to people completely, and let my life fall apart.
Oh
oh

This is basically the last two years of my life. Abridged version: I stopped going to college after one semester (didn't want to go in the first place) so I just worked a few jobs. A few months and many lies to coworkers and acquaintances later, it became clear that I didn't have any kind of plan or direction for my life. The following depression was swift and brutal. My interests have seemingly evaporated into the ether. I did well enough keeping up appearances at first, but then I had some kind of anxiety attack at work last October. That really messed me up, made me doubt myself a lot more than I ever had before. I only went back to work once after that, in February or something. I withdrew from just about everything I was doing at the time and haven't been doing much since. I stopped hanging out with friends and going to church--though that was long overdue, frankly. It got to the point where I'd nearly freak out at the thought of freaking out in public again.

It's hard for me to talk about, but I've been writing down my thoughts and feelings throughout this whole downward spiral of mine (because I could see it coming but I didn't stop it :/) and... there are a lot of things that don't add up to me. I recognize that there are deeper issues at play and I need help in dealing with them, but now I have to start making moves. I'm still scared, but I've got to believe that the effort will be worth it.


edit: 21 and hate school? Count me in for those too.
Mine doesn't sound as bad as yours, but I definitely have anxiety problems and I shut down when confronted with failure and disappointing people. If I don't do my absolute 100% best it will stick with me for a long time, especially when I think people are judging me based on it.
Ugh, seriously. I don't care if I mess up on my own, but letting someone else down is the worst.
 
Mine doesn't sound as bad as yours, but I definitely have anxiety problems and I shut down when confronted with failure and disappointing people. If I don't do my absolute 100% best it will stick with me for a long time, especially when I think people are judging me based on it.
 
talk to your mom, tell her you lack discipline and drive. cry a little, tell her what she wants to hear. then bring the truth.

i dunno, the truth usually does it most of the time.
 
Jeez, that sounds exactly like what fucked me over, although I didn't have as much riding on it financially.

I wish I could tell you how I got over it but I never really did! I don't know, I just managed to get a full time job with some assistance and that's kind of forced me to deal with it a bit more, so I think I'm improving.
 
Went to watch a movie to calm myself down a bit, kind of amazed at the responses here when I got back. I didn't realize how many other people feel what I am feeling. I have the ability to succeed both academically and professionally, I've impressed people with what I can do. I don't feel like I have typical social issues either, I have tons of awesome friends and make new ones quickly. The only thing that ever gets me down like this is the inability to face when I disappoint people who expect something from me, and those expectations have always been so high. Things start to pile on me, then less than I year ago I discovered I had a permanent and potentially crippling medical condition, then in the last few months my relationship fell apart, I lost touch with my friends, and started building up a lot of self hate.

I guess that's all really just me feeling bad for myself instead of getting past my shortcomings, but it still makes me happy to be reminded I'm not alone.
 
Went to watch a movie to calm myself down a bit, kind of amazed at the responses here when I got back. I didn't realize how many other people feel what I am feeling. I have the ability to succeed both academically and professionally, I've impressed people with what I can do. I don't feel like I have typical social issues either, I have tons of awesome friends and make new ones quickly. The only thing that ever gets me down like this is the inability to face when I disappoint people who expect something from me, and those expectations have always been so high. Things start to pile on me, then less than I year ago I discovered I had a permanent and potentially crippling medical condition, then in the last few months my relationship fell apart, I lost touch with my friends, and started building up a lot of self hate.

I guess that's all really just me feeling bad for myself instead of getting past my shortcomings, but it still makes me happy to be reminded I'm not alone.

Dude, you're definitely not alone in thinking that you aren't living up to others expectations of you. It's easy to say shit like, "you shouldn't care what other people think! just do what makes you happy!". For a lot of people that isn't sound advice. I have a family full of highly successful people and it was always expected of me to be part of that if not excel because of it. It may have taken me a bit longer than others in my family, but I caught my footing and am in a great place now. It just takes a little longer for some to find their comfort zone in "adulthood". You'll get past this.
 
Went to watch a movie to calm myself down a bit, kind of amazed at the responses here when I got back. I didn't realize how many other people feel what I am feeling. I have the ability to succeed both academically and professionally, I've impressed people with what I can do. I don't feel like I have typical social issues either, I have tons of awesome friends and make new ones quickly. The only thing that ever gets me down like this is the inability to face when I disappoint people who expect something from me, and those expectations have always been so high. Things start to pile on me, then less than I year ago I discovered I had a permanent and potentially crippling medical condition, then in the last few months my relationship fell apart, I lost touch with my friends, and started building up a lot of self hate.

I guess that's all really just me feeling bad for myself instead of getting past my shortcomings, but it still makes me happy to be reminded I'm not alone.

"What doesn't kill you gives you EXP."

Keep that in mind through all of this. Your biggest enemy is going to be yourself. You've got to learn to face your demons and fight them rather than running and hiding from them. You're much stronger than what you think you are and the biggest way to prove that to yourself is whenever you feel like running from something, take a second and consider your future and process how you feel, breathe for 10 seconds, and do the complete opposite. You have to fight back to grow from this. Being ashamed or putting yourself down for your mistakes only hinders your growth further. You're so much better than that and you know it deep down. Pull that strength out and destroy the negativity within you. You can do this, you've just got to give it your all.

The greatest thing you can do for yourself in times like these, at least from my experience (and we are the same age btw), is to go do something outside the norm for yourself. Not parties, not big social events, not banging people, I'm talking go out and do something to get in touch with yourself. Adventures are great when you feel like giving up. Go on the train and see some mountains, go hike a trail, sit out by a lake, go sight seeing. Do something outside of your daily life and take in every single moment of it. Consider your life and how this is only the beginning of it. Now is your time to kick ass and just say fuck it. When you take a moment to consider how grand life is, all the little things fade away and it truly gives you perspective + greatly helps with self reflection. None of these feelings will last forever and you will get through this.

My advice only spawns from what I did when I started college. I finished my first semester (barely) then signed up for my second and dropped out not even a month into it. I left school behind to take time to figure out what I wanted out of life. I was also attending a school for a subject I didn't give a shit for and realized, through much trial and error, what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and how living in bum fuck Florida wasn't where I needed to be. In the time period of me leaving school, I broke up with my significant other of 3 1/2 years, lost my home, left my shit job, lost all of my friends, and had a whole mass of nonsense spawn. It was beyond one of the most difficult times in my life so far. Depression and self loathing were my best friends. I felt like I disappointed my mother by quitting school, how my friends hated me because I refused to be something I wasn't and couldn't manage to ever be, and how I was basically just 50 shades of fucked up. I believed it was never going to be better and how although I had potential to do great things, I would never find the motivation to. Neogaf, gaming, smoking, and sleeping were all I had and I was just....comfortable with it for a while. Long story short, I pushed myself out of my depression. I told myself that no matter how badly or how easily it was for me to settle into negative feelings and make poor choices; I would forever do the opposite. If I felt like giving up, I would push harder (even if I felt like I was going to explode from the difficulty). It's led me to some of the great experiences I've ever had.

I learned that taking time for yourself isn't the worst thing in the world. Settling and being comfortable with mundane shit, or a hole you dug for yourself, is. If life gets too heavy, take a moment, whether its a day or a week or even just a few hours. Give yourself a moment to breathe and appreciate the little things like....you have a home or people who love you or people on GAF care about you or you're alive in general. Remembering these things really takes you back and helps you understand that although life sucks right now, this won't last forever. Why? Because you're going to get back out there and kick ass and nothing will stop you. You have so much ahead of you and you can't stop now.

So, OP, take a breather. Give yourself a little bit of time to reflect on your mistakes, shake it off, let it go, and move forward. Life's too short to look back and worry about all the negative shit, keep going forward because although you've made mistakes in the past and you will fuck up along the way sometimes, you have millions of opportunities to make things right and a million+ opportunities to prove to yourself you can do this throughout the journey. Just don't give up. Let go of negative shit, defeat your demons, and keep fighting through it. You will be okay.

:)
 
Write a letter to your parents using the OP word for word. Seems to me that disappointing them is the source of your anxiety.

That should get a good conversation started with them.
 
Went to watch a movie to calm myself down a bit, kind of amazed at the responses here when I got back. I didn't realize how many other people feel what I am feeling. I have the ability to succeed both academically and professionally, I've impressed people with what I can do. I don't feel like I have typical social issues either, I have tons of awesome friends and make new ones quickly. The only thing that ever gets me down like this is the inability to face when I disappoint people who expect something from me, and those expectations have always been so high. Things start to pile on me, then less than I year ago I discovered I had a permanent and potentially crippling medical condition, then in the last few months my relationship fell apart, I lost touch with my friends, and started building up a lot of self hate.

I guess that's all really just me feeling bad for myself instead of getting past my shortcomings, but it still makes me happy to be reminded I'm not alone.
Man, totally feel you. I tend to define my personal worth with my work, for some fucked ip reason. I have too-high expectations of what people expect from me, I run my own design thing so I always feel like if I don't do something completely amazing I'm letting everyone down - couple that with an unrelenting schedule and it's amazing how fast that will snowball into anxiety and depression and feeling like shit. It will cross over into my personal life and relationship and it's not healthy.

Honestly, stop overthinking it, open the lines of communication with those who love you and you'll be fine. Talk it out.
 
I also made a confession in that thread, similar issues about anxiety and depression etc.

I'm not going to go into detail about my problems here( cos its your thread), but I can suggest this, go to a psychiatrist if possible. Starting on tuesday I start anti-depressents a kind of therapy to deal with current anxiety and problems and then psychological therapy. While it's stupid for me to recommend something I haven't yet actually fully done myself, the hope I felt after seeing the dr who took my case was a complete change to anything i've felt in the last 13 years. Not only that, I think i instantly fell in love with the jr dr, shes way out of my league, but changing myself and changing my life is something Im starting to find determination for when I think about her. (Before anyone asks, im not so sexually depraved that I fall in love with every woman that talks to me - there are many beautiful/attractive/cute women in the world, this girl is different. I don't know why, and its scary etc etc)

Posting on here was a good move, I know that thread help me actually make the move to go, I had took 7 months to get an appointment and when I made it I just kept post-poning it until I posted on here. Many people will always give great advice and many of us are just to chat, so PM me if you need someone to fill your time with your problems.
 
I'm in the same spot but I'm 22. I can't study anymore, my mind gets all fuzzy and shit. My social anxiety is bad but I can fake it if I have to go to the store and things like that. I'm going to take whatever job I can get if I find any and I'll then try to make money online. Once I start making enough I won't have to leave my house anymore except for buying food.

Good luck.
 
First thing to do is to establish a schedule. You have to get up in the morning and stay away from the internet. Trick yourself into it by telling someone about your condition. A therapist or someone similar.
 
I posted this in the confession thread initially with the thought that I didn't want to look like I was seeking attention by making a thread, but I'm still stuck in deciding what I should do. I also don't want any friends I have here on GAF to worry about me since it's not as bad as I make it out to be, no suicidal thoughts or anything.



I'm on the edge of failing again, don't want to acknowledge anyone who I owe something to, and keep avoiding my parents. I've had this issue chronically for the last 5 or so years and I feel like a stain on the reputation of my small major and get the feeling that my whole school dislikes me. Blahhhhh.

I think it's brave and very commendable first of all that you are going after your dreams and leaving essentially everything behind you so never forget that, let it be the reason it pushes you to move on forward. I'll tell you what happened to me early in the year. Imagine, for 3 months I had to keep going to a class and work my ass off ALONE with nobody else in the classroom because nobody took said subject that I took. It was known that the teacher is very tough on the students. I did everything I could to achieve an A but all I was able to get was B and knowing myself, I needed the A because I want to continue my studies outside(need dat high GPA) so I told the teacher to fail me personally. He did and I registered that subject again with him since he is the only one that is teaching it again and gained the A after working hard alone AGAIN. My point is, I was going everyday to collage, working my ass off for that particular subject all the while I had in mind that my potential to fail it is high but I kept going because you know what? because I still want to tell myself, I tried my best and the important thing is that I tried. When I took it the second time, everything was much easier and more familiar which lead me to gain that A but I still didn't take things lightly because I worked my ass off for it still.

You have everything in your hand to do what is necessary OP, don't just give up. Any chance you don't take is a chance missed 100% so go out there and get what you're worth man. Not doing anything about it won't help you and it will only reinforce that thought in your mind that "yeah well I'm going to fail so why show up?" You need to go out and face it, do the best. I did my best and still failed but going at it a second time, I succeeded. I went through many days in the past where at night it's hard for me to sleep because I over think shit, please don't do that. I have since then stopped over thinking shit and kept being in the mindset of thinking about right now. Many people go through what you're going through OP but the difference is some of them are going out, facing it and trying to do something about it because at the end of the day, It's all about your well being and happiness. You know, when I got the A after going for it for 6 months(3 months = F. Tried again, A) you don't know how happy I was because I accomplished what I had been through and stuck my ground. There were people in collage telling me with that teacher, you'd be dreaming of an A blah blah blah and all that useless talk but look what I did, I achieved it and you could too as long as you hold your ground and do what is necessary for yourself.

What you need is a schedule because it seems you procrastinate like most people do, me included. Always keep on a schedule and never leave things for later because they will only pile up and in the end you'll wish that you had started studying or doing what you had at hand earlier. Make a weekly schedule and stick to it because it'll keep your life organized, for the better. Have time for yourself/friends, time for studies, time for eating.etc. Talk to your parents often because it's always a good thing to talk about things rather than keep them in your thought because lets face it human beings always imagine weird ass shit scenarios happening. Your parents at the end, even if they get disappointed, it's because they just want what's best for you. Don't distance yourself from anything. Move forward, and go against the wave. Get what you are worth and never give up. It is not easy and nobody said it is but it is possible as long as you set your mind to it, no matter what. Also, have patience, lots of it and eat well because it helps alot.

Good luck, OP.
 
I went through something similar when I was depressed. It ended up in a 1-1.5 years break from studying and then a switch of my major, but fortunately I was in a position in which that was possible for me financially.

What I managed to do eventually was to go a student councilor (not the usual study councilor but a psychologist) which then helped me go to a doctor who then passed me on an actual psychologist.

It really wasn't easy to get help, but it was worth it. You really should try to do it too.

Also remember that you're really not the only one with problems. There are a lot of people like that. There are also a lot of people who just quit their courses at some point, even towards the end. The teachers know that and they generally are quite understanding. If you have trouble during a course you can talk to the teacher about it and see if you could still pass it.

I'm in the same spot but I'm 22. I can't study anymore, my mind gets all fuzzy and shit. My social anxiety is bad but I can fake it if I have to go to the store and things like that. I'm going to take whatever job I can get if I find any and I'll then try to make money online. Once I start making enough I won't have to leave my house anymore except for buying food.

Good luck.
It can feel grim like that for now, but don't let yourself fully believe in that things will never be different. Things can change and you can get better if you get help.
 
I can definitely empathise with that. Warning, long and possibly meandering post incoming

I dropped out of university after a couple of years as I just stopped going to lessons and let it implode. I then spent close to three years feeling sorry for myself and living with my parents, thinking my life was over. But those feelings of lack of self-worth were always fighting with my thoughts that I wanted to do something meaningful, I had something to offer. I was the first in our family to even go to university and it felt right at the time, until it all went wrong.

After a couple of years of feeling sorry for myself, I started helping out at a local printing place that trained people with learning difficulties - I knew how to deal with computers and had some DTP training and it was fun. A year later I mass mailed every game developer in the UK to try and get a job. I had interviews at a few and got a job at a publisher in the south of England which was a long way from my parents house. I took the opportunity and moved to Brighton, to a shared house with a bunch of others.

Work was great and I went from Tech support to QA tester, to associate producer. But outside of work I still found it really hard to engage with people - I tended to shut myself away in my room and barely even came down to the communal kitchen due to anxiety. But I managed - barely. Balancing that desire I had to do something and feeling that I have some ability, with my social disability was (and still is) really difficult. But I did. Even met my wife down there.

Now, nearly 20 years later, I'm married with two fantastic kids, and I have a good job that is varied and challenging. But still there is that feeling that this is all fake and someone is going to come through the door any second and call me out on it. That feeling is usually tucked away deep inside, but it bubbles up now and then.
 
This sounds pretty much exactly like me. I have adhd, not saying you do, who knows. Meds help me.

Go to class and workout. If you go to every class and you workout you will excel. The same thing inside you that tells you not to go to class is the thing that will keep you up to speed if skipping class is not an option. You are not as smart as you think you are. Your ego makes you believe that you can skip a class and just make it up by reading or whatever, despite past experience showing this not to be true over and over again. Drop the ego and go in even if you're "completely fucked". Going in and feeling inadequate because you're behind is a much surer way to get you to start catching up. Let go of the ego, accept that you are not as smart as you think you are, and accept that you are going to be made to feel dumb.

You're not as smart as you think you are but you're also not as dumb as you think you are. Working out will make your brain work more efficiently. You will solve problems faster, feel less foggy, get less brain fatigue during long study sessions, and have more motivation to begin a study session. The supplement Creatine also helps with these things as does coffee or especially tea.

Lastly get a to do list app. I write down all tasks for the day, and write in future important dates/assignments and add alarms so I won't forget. I use one called Tasks by Team Tasks. It syncs with google tasks and has an easy interface.

I programmed an excel spreadsheet which can calculate the total estimated amount of time to finish all tasks you input, can calculate what day/time you should finish if you're on schedule, how far +/- off schedule you are as you input actual finish time for each task. I'm gonna make it into a phone app when I have time. Finding something that allows me to micromanage study time helps for me personally as it helps me get into the adhd "hyperfocus" state.
 
Finally pulled myself together enough to tell my mom and ask for help. If anyone is interested in updates I'll post 'em here. I think I'm gonna be okay.
 
Finally pulled myself together enough to tell my mom and ask for help. If anyone is interested in updates I'll post 'em here. I think I'm gonna be okay.

Glad to hear it mate, good on you. I really hope you get the help and support you need, keep us posted.
 
Success in school isn't about learning how to be better at the things you enjoy it's about learning how to MAKE yourself "enjoy" and do the things that you do NOT like to do.
 
Finally pulled myself together enough to tell my mom and ask for help. If anyone is interested in updates I'll post 'em here. I think I'm gonna be okay.
Yea man, you'll be ok. Especially if you've got family who care about you.

Listen to Timedog and get some exercise. It seriously does work miracles.
 
maybe you just need to take a break

do nothing for 6 months or do something light and manageable and clear your head and get your thoughts/priorities organized
 
"What doesn't kill you gives you EXP."

Keep that in mind through all of this. Your biggest enemy is going to be yourself. You've got to learn to face your demons and fight them rather than running and hiding from them. You're much stronger than what you think you are and the biggest way to prove that to yourself is whenever you feel like running from something, take a second and consider your future and process how you feel, breathe for 10 seconds, and do the complete opposite. You have to fight back to grow from this. Being ashamed or putting yourself down for your mistakes only hinders your growth further. You're so much better than that and you know it deep down. Pull that strength out and destroy the negativity within you. You can do this, you've just got to give it your all.

The greatest thing you can do for yourself in times like these, at least from my experience (and we are the same age btw), is to go do something outside the norm for yourself. Not parties, not big social events, not banging people, I'm talking go out and do something to get in touch with yourself. Adventures are great when you feel like giving up. Go on the train and see some mountains, go hike a trail, sit out by a lake, go sight seeing. Do something outside of your daily life and take in every single moment of it. Consider your life and how this is only the beginning of it. Now is your time to kick ass and just say fuck it. When you take a moment to consider how grand life is, all the little things fade away and it truly gives you perspective + greatly helps with self reflection. None of these feelings will last forever and you will get through this.

My advice only spawns from what I did when I started college. I finished my first semester (barely) then signed up for my second and dropped out not even a month into it. I left school behind to take time to figure out what I wanted out of life. I was also attending a school for a subject I didn't give a shit for and realized, through much trial and error, what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and how living in bum fuck Florida wasn't where I needed to be. In the time period of me leaving school, I broke up with my significant other of 3 1/2 years, lost my home, left my shit job, lost all of my friends, and had a whole mass of nonsense spawn. It was beyond one of the most difficult times in my life so far. Depression and self loathing were my best friends. I felt like I disappointed my mother by quitting school, how my friends hated me because I refused to be something I wasn't and couldn't manage to ever be, and how I was basically just 50 shades of fucked up. I believed it was never going to be better and how although I had potential to do great things, I would never find the motivation to. Neogaf, gaming, smoking, and sleeping were all I had and I was just....comfortable with it for a while. Long story short, I pushed myself out of my depression. I told myself that no matter how badly or how easily it was for me to settle into negative feelings and make poor choices; I would forever do the opposite. If I felt like giving up, I would push harder (even if I felt like I was going to explode from the difficulty). It's led me to some of the great experiences I've ever had.

I learned that taking time for yourself isn't the worst thing in the world. Settling and being comfortable with mundane shit, or a hole you dug for yourself, is. If life gets too heavy, take a moment, whether its a day or a week or even just a few hours. Give yourself a moment to breathe and appreciate the little things like....you have a home or people who love you or people on GAF care about you or you're alive in general. Remembering these things really takes you back and helps you understand that although life sucks right now, this won't last forever. Why? Because you're going to get back out there and kick ass and nothing will stop you. You have so much ahead of you and you can't stop now.

So, OP, take a breather. Give yourself a little bit of time to reflect on your mistakes, shake it off, let it go, and move forward. Life's too short to look back and worry about all the negative shit, keep going forward because although you've made mistakes in the past and you will fuck up along the way sometimes, you have millions of opportunities to make things right and a million+ opportunities to prove to yourself you can do this throughout the journey. Just don't give up. Let go of negative shit, defeat your demons, and keep fighting through it. You will be okay.

:)

What a great post.
 
Hope you can pull through man. I'd love to say you're going to be all right, but I'm in the same boat. Won't tell my story, because this is your thread, but think of similar issues as you but add in a wife and kid. It's a hard thing to feel like a total fuck up when people depend on you.
 
maybe you just need to take a break

do nothing for 6 months or do something light and manageable and clear your head and get your thoughts/priorities organized
I don't know. OP sounds a hell of a lot like me and when you already have a negative feedback loop going on in your head, having more time to sit around and let that run rampant can be quite self-destructive.
 
I wouldn't rule out getting help from a psychologist or psychiatrist, it sounds like you may have some depression going on. You gotta think of this stuff in the same way you would your physical health; our minds and moods get sick in the same way we get diseases.

Good luck man.
 
Fucking hell this strikes home so much for me. At times I was double checking to see if I wrote the post.

I'm in my 3rd year now, but if I went through uni perfectly I'd have been done 2 years ago.

My advice is just do the work even with the pain.
 
Just finished a long talk with my parents. I'm gonna seek counseling for my anxiety, and also take a break from school to decrease the amount of pressure I feel like I'm under. In the meantime I'm going to seek employment that isn't quite as intellectually demanding as advanced math and programming, and has a more structured schedule than my weird day on day off early/late day classes. I don't intend to be away from school for any longer than I need to stabilize myself financially and rebuild my confidence through getting the help I need.

I can't thank all of you enough for being the family I need and giving me advice and comfort.

I don't know. OP sounds a hell of a lot like me and when you already have a negative feedback loop going on in your head, having more time to sit around and let that run rampant can be quite self-destructive.

I know what you mean, and I definitely won't allow myself to do nothing. Especially when I owe my parents money and have bills to pay, I'd rather occupy myself with moving closer to financial independence than getting lost in my own thoughts. My idea is that if something isn't working for me, I'll retarget my goals toward something I feel is more achievable, while working on my issues in the meantime.
 
Just finished a long talk with my parents. I'm gonna seek counseling for my anxiety, and also take a break from school to decrease the amount of pressure I feel like I'm under. In the meantime I'm going to seek employment that isn't quite as intellectually demanding as advanced math and programming, and has a more structured schedule than my weird day on day off early/late day classes. I don't intend to be away from school for any longer than I need to stabilize myself financially and rebuild my confidence through getting the help I need.

I can't thank all of you enough for being the family I need and giving me advice and comfort.

Sounds very good =)
Hope things go great for you
 
Just finished a long talk with my parents. I'm gonna seek counseling for my anxiety, and also take a break from school to decrease the amount of pressure I feel like I'm under. In the meantime I'm going to seek employment that isn't quite as intellectually demanding as advanced math and programming, and has a more structured schedule than my weird day on day off early/late day classes. I don't intend to be away from school for any longer than I need to stabilize myself financially and rebuild my confidence through getting the help I need.

I can't thank all of you enough for being the family I need and giving me advice and comfort.
Right on, man. Good luck to you, take care of yourself.
 
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