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[balladofwindfishes]

Yes, I already went to the doctor

About two weeks ago, while riding to lunch with some coworkers, I just suddenly got very nervous and tense and hyper aware of everything going on, to the point where I couldn't stop my mind from racing (or my heart), and I was extremely uncomfortable and unable to do anything but sit and pray I got done with the car ride sooner, rather than later. When I finally did get out of the car, all I could do was sit and stare as my hands shook and my breathing was tense for about 5 minutes and suddenly I was fine again, as if nothing happened.

There was no other trigger for this. I hadn't been in any accident. I knew nobody who had been in an accident. It wasn't a particularly bad car ride. On any other day, it would have just been a boring ride to go get some lunch with coworkers.

I wouldn't say it was a full panic attack, but it was awful. Anxiety runs in my family, I know what a "real" panic attack looks like. It's not one. I can think and hold conversations just fine, I don't really shut down, I just get extremely tense and anxious.

Since that day, I now get extremely nervous whenever I need to ride in a car. For an hour before a leave, I can't think of anything other than how awful the ride is. This is bad because I need to go to work. I don't drive. I'm always a passenger.

I rarely actually panic during the ride, which I find to be the worst part of this entire thing. I literally sit here and worry about getting into the car, and then generally do just fine once in the car and riding. If I can look forward at traffic and have a conversation, I can usually make it just fine in the ride.

This doesn't always happen, though. If I sit in the back, about half the time I will have anxiety. Mostly seems to happen on the way to places, on the way home, I can calm myself down by telling myself I'm almost home. In the front, I almost never panic. Actually, I don't think I've ever panicked while sitting in the front seat. But that doesn't help the before ride worrying, even if I know I'll be comfortably sitting in the front. I still sit and deep breath, while I have a terrible feeling in my stomach.

I went to the doctor last Friday after a horrible episode in the car the night before (I was smooshed in the back seat with other people, and I felt like I was going to die the entire ride). After talking with her, she couldn't really figure out why I was showing symptoms like this, as there was no trigger event to cause the anxiety. I hadn't gotten in an accident, known anyone who got in an accident, or was a particularly nervous person. I'm always quite calm and I manage stress extremely well. She also didn't know why it didn't always happen.

So she gave me a prescription for a mild dose of Xanax. I find this to be a bit insufficient because
1. My car rides are never longer than a half hour, and the medicine takes 15-30 minutes to kick in.
2. I am only supposed to take one a day, it only lasts a few hours, and I need to ride in the car, at minimum, twice a day, 5 days a week, separated by 7-8 hours. Only on weekends would there be a shorter time between rides.
3. I am not supposed to take it in anticipation of being stressed, only when I'm actually freaking out, by the time it kicks it, I'll likely be home and already naturally calming down.

So the uses for it seem fairly niche for me. So far it's helped once, on Saturday, but only on the ride home, it didn't kick in fast enough to work for the 20 minute ride to my destination, so I was miserable (in the back seat). I've only taken 2 pills, one after I got them to see if they'd make me sleepy (they don't). And the other on Saturday to calm down.

In a way, I kind of got the feeling she may have thought I was just looking for a quick fix on Xanax... She seemed to think it was weird I wasn't in an accident to trigger this, and also that it only happens every so often and mostly only when in the back seat.

Last week I only went to work twice. I can work from home as much as I want, but still, I don't like doing it a lot... I again missed Monday this week. I managed to go yesterday and panicked a lot in the afternoon before going home. Today I'm not quite as panicked, but I'm not doing great. I'm normally first in line to go places with coworkers to try new restaurants. Yesterday I had to find an excuse for why I couldn't go with them. Some days are better than others. Last Thursday, I felt great. Until I had to sit in the back... Any breaks I take from being in the car (Sunday, for example) just make the next day harder.

I used to either enjoy car rides sometimes (especially long rides through places I hadn't been before), or at least find them to be minor annoyances due to being a half hour of being bored. Now, each ride is like a trip through a torture chamber.

I'm thinking I might "get over it" with enough time retraining myself to ride in a car. Or just get used to it after a few weeks, but this is awful. I feel terrible. I do not want to stay home any more, so I'm forcing myself to go places, but it takes all of my mental energy to muster the will to do so, and this leaves me mentally exhausted when I finally do get home and can relax. In my head, I can tell myself "this is stupid, why are you panicked, nothing is going to happen, when was the last time you were in an accident? Never? Yea, never. So why are you worried" but that isn't working. This really frustrates me because I always have full control of my thoughts. I always have. It's always comforted me to be able to do so, and I even avoid caffeine and alcohol because I want full control of my thoughts and actions. And I can't with this. And I hate it. It feels like my mind and imagination, things I consider valuable assets of my psyche, are working against me.

My mom thinks it's my subconscious telling me I'm too old to not drive (I'm 27). I'm not really convinced by this.

TLDR: I'm afraid to get into a car, but am usually fine once I am, as long as I'm in the front. There was no trigger to cause this sudden anxiety. Medication feels poorly prescribed for me particular issue.

 

[DiscoJer]

Have you thought about a convertible? Maybe not being so closed in would help?

I had a dog who had panic attacks in cars, but he was okay in a convertible.

 

[shnurgleton]

Claustrophobia?

 

[balladofwindfishes]

Claustrophobia?

I don't know. What seems to trigger it the most is accelerating, or going up or down hills, not just being in the car.

Have you thought about a convertible? Maybe not being so closed in would help?

I had a dog who had panic attacks in cars, but he was okay in a convertible.

I have no way of riding in a convertible. My parents are my primary ride and they don't have one, most people around here don't, due to the extremely cold winters.

 

[Mutant]

This happened to my sister after she had her first kid. There wasn't a rational reasoning behind it, it's just that riding in vehicles now shoots up her adrenaline levels. It took years, but she's able to be a passenger without an anxiety attack happening, but she still can't drive on public roads.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

Do you wear a seatbelt in the back seat? Do you ride with the windows open? Do you ever suffer from motion sickness? Do you get a similar feeling when riding a bus or train?

And have you told your doctor everything that you've told us? Have you seen a mental health professional on top of seeing your PCP? There may be other underlying problems you aren't aware of.

 

[Breads]

I wish you luck.

I found myself utterly unable to drive without having near panic attacks. They've caused me to have mini blackouts where I keep going straight as forget what I was doing. I straight up hit a curb when I should have made a turn and the fear of worse happening manifested itself into avoidance behaviors and for my well being I ultimately reshaped my life around avoiding having to drive myself.

 

[Joe Shlabotnik]

I think your mind can just randomly get the “yips” about anything sometimes. I remember I suddenly had difficulty using escalators for a few years as a teenager/young adult and then it just went away.

I can only really suggest talking to a therapist who perhaps specializes in phobias? I know it’s not exactly a phobia you’re experiencing but it seems like it’s something that should be handled with similar behavioral or exposure therapy.

 

[balladofwindfishes]

Do you wear a seatbelt in the back seat? Do you ride with the windows open? Do you ever suffer from motion sickness? Do you get a similar feeling when riding a bus or train?

And have you told your doctor everything that you've told us? Have you seen a mental health professional on top of seeing your PCP? There may be other underlying problems you aren't aware of.

1. Yes
2. No
3. No
4. I haven't ridden in one since I got this anxiety, but the last time I rode one, I was fine

Yea, I told her all this stuff. I haven't seen anyone else.

 

[Joe Shlabotnik]

I don't know. What seems to trigger it the most is accelerating, or going up or down hills, not just being in the car.

Have you definitively ruled out a physiological issue? Is your balance OK? Any vertigo or anything? Does this feel like something you’d experience in other modes of transportation?

Edit: most of this covered, nm

 

[kcp12304]

You should go see a therapist. One that specializes in anxiety. You have to learn to accept you what your body is feeling. Fighting it only makes it worse and is exhausting. If your hands tremble then you must let them tremble. If your heart races the sit back and let it happen. Over time you get learn to cope with the fear and it's symptoms. It will take time to learn how to cope.

Look up expose reponse therapy and CBT.

 

[Vire]

I wish you luck.

I found myself utterly unable to drive without having near panic attacks. They've caused me to have mini blackouts where I keep going straight as forget what I was doing. I straight up hit a curb when I should have made a turn and the fear of worse happening manifested itself into avoidance behaviors and for my well being I ultimately reshaped my life around avoiding having to drive myself.

How do you manage going to work? Visiting friends? Going out on the weekend?

Genuinely curious because my girlfriend at the moment does not have a car, and it's quite the struggle at times.

 

[SoulUnison]

This happened to my sister after she had her first kid. There wasn't a rational reasoning behind it, it's just that riding in vehicles now shoots up her adrenaline levels. It took years, but she's able to be a

Oh no, did you have an accident while posting?

What was she able to be!?

 

[Bam Chowder]

Sorry to hear OP, sounds awful

Maybe distracting yourself using headphones and listening to music or podcasts and/or closing your eyes would help?

 

[GrizzNKev]

You might want to try to learn how to drive.

 

[dickroach]

a few years ago, out of nowhere, I started having damn near panic attacks when I'd drive on the highway. something about me realizing I was going like 70 mph being 3 feet off the ground? especially at night, when I was just surrounded by blackness the left and the right of me. I dunno what it was honestly, but my hands would pretty much go numb and I'd feel almost nauseous.
I got over it with time. no idea wtf it was

 

[hatmoza]

This happened to me when my first son. All of a sudden this new being was a part of my life and I had to take him along with me in the car. And the anxiety hit me hard. It was almost crippling. My asshole father couldn't understand what I was going through and more or less told me I was a weak person.

The only way I got over the anxiety for my son's safety was buying a bigger vehicle with more safety features. It honestly lessened my anxiety and I'm cooping with it a lot better these days now that he's older.

Nowadays however I hate being a passenger with aggressive drivers.

Sorry for the lack of solutions but I just felt letting you know that I feel your pain.

 

[Icyflamez96]

Crazy that it just happened out of nowhere. That sounds very annoying to deal with. And I consider myself more paranoid with cars than the average person, but I dont get panic attacks or anything when it comes to a normal driver, but I will get super antsy with a more aggressive driver.

 

[Chris1]

"1. My car rides are never longer than a half hour, and the medicine takes 15-30 minutes to kick in."

I think the idea here is to take it 30 minutes before you get into the car so that it kicks in as the journey begins

Strange that it suddenly happened out of nowhere though

 

[LucidMomentum]

My mother also gets small panic attacks while driving.

I used to be terrified of it to an extent too, since I was the kind of person to not trust anyone, especially not drivers on the road with me.

But I learned how to just focus on my driving in relation to others and how to drive defensively and attentively and I've had no accidents in like 10 years of driving.

 

[titiklabingapat]

I don't think it's irrational. I'm like this too but I know the statistics. Riding in a car is one of the most dangerous thing you do everyday. Everyone should be hyper vigilant about it.

 

[Dyle]

Don't have any solutions unfortunately, but I had a phase like that for a while. It was coupled with serious anxiety and suicidal thoughts, where I was constantly thinking about how I could just open the door and jump out of the car. When I was behind the wheel it led me to think about just randomly swerving and it took every fiber of my being to keep myself in control. In my situation the circumstances causing my anxiety changed for the better and I was able to overcome the fear relatively quickly, but I definitely regret not telling anyone what I was feeling and seeking help. Hopefully what you've done already is setting the groundwork to stopping it

 

[StoneFox]

My friend suffers from this and it has been the biggest negative impact of his life. He cannot drive for long periods, any road over two lanes wide stresses him out too much, if he takes a long trip he will not get in a car for weeks to calm his nerves.

I've tried exposure therapy, I've tried explaining that it's all in his head, I've tried explaining that he doesn't need to be hyper aware all the time, nothing seems to work. He has no traumatic history from being in a car, it's a side effect of his OCD and anxiety issues. I don't even think medicine has been able to help him.

I know he refused to even drive a car ever when he was younger but he built up tolerance to two lane roads when he was forced to drive for college. I want him to build his confidence up to being able to drive in cities or on highways but he's too paralyzed with fear and needs someone else to drive him around in those situations. It limits his work options severely. He knows it's wrong for him to think this way but he hasn't been able to mentally break it for over a decade now.

I wish you the best of luck OP in finding a solution because I haven't found one yet for my friend.

 

[JackDT]

Have you had such specific and intense anxiety about anything else in your life?

 

[balladofwindfishes]

I might give the claustrophobia more of a thought. I was just in the car for an hour on the way home, because we picked up a pizza, and also my brother from college. I was fine the entire ride. I actually calmed down while I was in the car, because I was very nervous before the ride, since I knew I was going to be in there awhile. We also drove on unfamiliar roads, which seems to be bad for me as well most of the time. I was comfortably in the front.

Elevators have always made me kind of nervous, but nothing serious. Maybe something happened I wasn't aware of that caused it to get more severe. I haven't been in an elevator since then.

I'll need to sit in the back this weekend, I'll see what happens.

I have a physical in a few weeks, and also a check up to see how the medicine is going, I'll see how I feel in a few weeks and might bring up the claustrophobia if riding in the back is still an issue. Maybe they can recommend me some kind of therapy or specialist I could go to, if this doesn't ease up on its own. I can handle some mild discomfort in the car, but this is a little much to get used to.

Have you had such specific and intense anxiety about anything else in your life?

Yes, I have moderate social anxiety. I get these same sort of feelings every time I need to go to some kind of work function, or a party or something. I do not do well in large groups of people, chaotic loud noises in busy rooms cause me a lot of anxiety. But dealing with social functions once every month or two is not as big of a deal, and I usually manage okay.

I also have a phobia of slipping on ice, to the point where if there's ice around my door, I won't leave the house because I cannot consciously step on ice. My body just won't allow my legs to move. This is the most intense reproducible anxiety I have. Not even my social anxiety ever gets as bad as my ice fear. Not even this new car anxiety causes me to be physically unable to move my body. Stupidly enough, if I throw a mat over the ice or cover it with snow, I can walk on it without issue. As long as I can't see it, but even if I know it's there, I can walk on it fine. So it's actually easier to handle than it sounds.

"1. My car rides are never longer than a half hour, and the medicine takes 15-30 minutes to kick in."

I think the idea here is to take it 30 minutes before you get into the car so that it kicks in as the journey begins

Strange that it suddenly happened out of nowhere though

They told me not to do that, I should only take it when the worst symptoms start appearing.

Don't have any solutions unfortunately, but I had a phase like that for a while. It was coupled with serious anxiety and suicidal thoughts, where I was constantly thinking about how I could just open the door and jump out of the car. When I was behind the wheel it led me to think about just randomly swerving and it took every fiber of my being to keep myself in control. In my situation the circumstances causing my anxiety changed for the better and I was able to overcome the fear relatively quickly, but I definitely regret not telling anyone what I was feeling and seeking help. Hopefully what you've done already is setting the groundwork to stopping it

I don't have any suicidal thoughts or depression, but I'm always vigilant on it. I live alone, and I'm not very social, and sometimes it can get lonely, so I'm always careful to keep my spirits up and make sure I do eventually socialize at least a bit.

 

[AlexM]

This happens to me too. I find it to be one of my more logical quirks when you consider the statistics though. I also have a bit of a rough time on crowded public transit.

The good thing is I now walk 12km to/from work so as a result I'm getting more exercise. It is a bother for social situations and trips though.

 

[GameAddict411]

I think you are suffering from some sort of phobia. Working with a therapist might pinpoint the problem more precisely, but the best thing you can do in that situation is more exposure to the stimulant. Meaning riding the car everyday will eventually kill this phobia you are having. The thing is that our consciousness is extremely complicated. I have had many anxiety attacks with no triggers, but after working with a therapist I was able to pinpoint exactly what was making me feel anxious and unsafe. It made it easier, but it never truly eliminated it.

 

[Vire]

Driving yourself might help your anxiety actually. It may be a loss of control thing. If you are driving instead of being a passenger, you will feel more in control.

 

[Riptwo]

Driving and being a passenger has always done this to me, though maybe in a milder form. I blame it on learning to drive in an ancient vehicle during massive road construction projects and harsh winter conditions. I have a gig on Friday morning, and I'm already dreading having to drive across the city in rush hour traffic.

 

[GiantBeagle]

You'd think that there's something primal about reacting to a car ride like that. Like your primal brain is saying "I could die any second now" and it's triggering your fight or flight response and your brain picks flight?

I'd suggest learning to drive. I'm way more comfortable as a driver than a passenger because it gives me a level of control over the situation. I know from experience driving in an area with pretty awful people on the road/ a lot of people without a license or insurance that I can avoid disasters in a panicked situation when I'm the driver. I have the ability to calm myself and think very clearly and it allows me to react in the best way.

 

[echoshifting]

Good for you on getting back out there, you have to keep doing that or it will probably get worse.

And yeah you do need to see a mental health professional of any kind, hopefully they will be able to point you in the right direction. If they don't, keep trying. It can be a slog but it's worth it. Good luck.

Edit: By the way, nobody "knows what a panic attack looks like," because a handful of symptoms from a very long list qualifies as an attack. It is normal for a person who has suffered from them or witnessed them to experience an attack with different symptoms and misidentify it...I think you should consider the possibility that you did have at least one attack.

 

[Media]

Anxiety is fucking weird.

I had a really shit childhood, one therapist described what I told her as torture, and I would agree with her. I had Ptsd as a kid through my teens but I got over it. Like, I was really honestly fine.

Then early 30s I got hit with some nasty Autoimmune diseases and the pain started triggering panic attacks. I was like seriously brain, wtf?

Since the pain is never going to go away, I'm going to be on anxiety and pain medication for the rest of my life, along with chemo. Yay.

 

[zorlaczerohero]

My mother had a similar reaction, she'd cry sometimes before getting in a car, she also doesn't drive. My Dad bought the biggest Jeep he could find, fitted it with bullbars, raised the suspension etc. it looked like a mini tank. The problem then was that she'd only go in that, for her it was a safety thing, this provided her with a feeling of security, no matter how false. Over time she got better but I still know that when they visit us here in Australia I'll have to take my SUV to collect her as my wife's Hatchback will make her nervous.

You say you're fine on buses? Have you tried a minibus? Minivan etc. I hate being driven by anyone else, people seem to always drive way too close to the people in front and why the fuck do so many drivers have to look at you when they're speaking, eyes front dipshit!!!

 

[Mr. E. Yis]

OP, have you watched any of those car accident videos on the internet in the time period of that first anxiety? The videos that have dashcams recording, and accidents happen out of nowhere? Maybe you remembered the feeling from watching the video, and that could be a trigger also.

 

[balladofwindfishes]

Thank you for the help

I usually de-stress myself from anxious situations by thinking of what is wrong, a bunch of different solutions to the problem, and then picking the one that appears to be the most likely and the most rational. Good or bad outcome, just having a plan is enough to settle down. This has always worked. It didn't work for this because I had no solutions.

This thread has given me some plans, like talking to my doctor about claustrophobia, or seeing a mental health specialist if this gets really bad or persists for awhile. Having plans like that help me a lot to calm myself down from problems. A big issue here is I just had no idea what might be wrong. All kinds of weird stuff was messing with my mind, like if a bug bit me and I caught some weird disease that made me anxious, or the end result of this is going to a mental hospital or something. The doctor's diagnosis of "eh... anxiety I guess" didn't exactly help, either. With no plan or anything that might be the cause, my mind filled in the blanks with ridiculous things and is just making the problem worse.

I'm not sure what would have suddenly caused it to get worse, but claustrophobia is something I can pinpoint an exact event that would caused it. When I was a kid, I went on a camping retreat with my class. There was this rope course thing, and I didn't want to do it, but I got pressured to do it. I ended up not having enough arm strength to pull my body out of the net, and I was stuck in the net for 20 minutes, struggling to get out. I eventually just sort of rolled out, onto the ground and felt awful for the next few days. Since then I've always been kind of nervous in small spaces I can't get out of, like elevators. I also find that I'll always quickly find every possible exit out of a building. It's always been mild, though.

This would explain why this only happens when I'm in the back seat, and especially bad when I'm crowded in the back seat. And why the best solution I have for calming down after an episode is to just wander around outside. After one episode, I ended up walking for 2 miles, for no real reason, and walking that much isn't something I usually do, but I HAD to do it, my body needed to be outside.

OP, have you watched any of those car accident videos on the internet in the time period of that first anxiety? The videos that have dashcams recording, and accidents happen out of nowhere? Maybe you remembered the feeling from watching the video, and that could be a trigger also.

Probably, I don't really know. I watch a lot of videos and GIFs. None I can remember in particular.

 

[Eegah]

If you suspect that your doctor thinks you’re benzo hunting, try asking about Atarax. It’s not a benzo, non-habit forming. Downside is that it might make you sleepy which obviously is not great when you are driving.

 

[SomTervo]

"There was no other trigger for this. I hadn't been in any accident. I knew nobody who had been in an accident. It wasn't a particularly bad car ride. On any other day, it would have just been a boring ride to go get some lunch with coworkers."

A trigger could be completely unrelated to cars. Could be an anxiety or phobia created by... What's the word... Imprinting? Misdirection? Can't remember. But your brain picks a random unrelated thing and makes it the source of a fear too difficult to deal with directly.

Think that maybe only happens in childhood though. Could just be stress?

 

[HellforLeather]

OP, I had a similar issue with planes a while back. I was fine for years, then all the sudden, for about 4 years, I was pretty terrified while on plane trips. Mostly just during take off but, my heart would race, my hands would get extremely sweaty, etc.

After a while though it just sort of went away. I cant really explain it.

Do you not drive at all? Maybe its because you arent in control of the vehicle? Ive taken several performance driving schools and done a little bit of instruction myself so Im not really a stranger to cars at speed, but having someone else drive at speed while Im in the passenger seat always freaks me out a bit. I think its the lack of control over the situation that causes it.

 

[NYCmetsfan]

Yes, I already went to the doctor

About two weeks ago, while riding to lunch with some coworkers, I just suddenly got very nervous and tense and hyper aware of everything going on, to the point where I couldn't stop my mind from racing (or my heart), and I was extremely uncomfortable and unable to do anything but sit and pray I got done with the car ride sooner, rather than later. When I finally did get out of the car, all I could do was sit and stare as my hands shook and my breathing was tense for about 5 minutes and suddenly I was fine again, as if nothing happened.

There was no other trigger for this. I hadn't been in any accident. I knew nobody who had been in an accident. It wasn't a particularly bad car ride. On any other day, it would have just been a boring ride to go get some lunch with coworkers.

I wouldn't say it was a full panic attack, but it was awful. Anxiety runs in my family, I know what a "real" panic attack looks like. It's not one. I can think and hold conversations just fine, I don't really shut down, I just get extremely tense and anxious.

Still an anxiety attack

I went to the doctor last Friday after a horrible episode in the car the night before (I was smooshed in the back seat with other people, and I felt like I was going to die the entire ride). After talking with her, she couldn't really figure out why I was showing symptoms like this, as there was no trigger event to cause the anxiety. I hadn't gotten in an accident, known anyone who got in an accident, or was a particularly nervous person. I'm always quite calm and I manage stress extremely well. She also didn't know why it didn't always happen.

So she gave me a prescription for a mild dose of Xanax. I find this to be a bit insufficient because
1. My car rides are never longer than a half hour, and the medicine takes 15-30 minutes to kick in.
2. I am only supposed to take one a day, it only lasts a few hours, and I need to ride in the car, at minimum, twice a day, 5 days a week, separated by 7-8 hours. Only on weekends would there be a shorter time between rides.
3. I am not supposed to take it in anticipation of being stressed, only when I'm actually freaking out, by the time it kicks it, I'll likely be home and already naturally calming down.

So the uses for it seem fairly niche for me. So far it's helped once, on Saturday, but only on the ride home, it didn't kick in fast enough to work for the 20 minute ride to my destination, so I was miserable (in the back seat). I've only taken 2 pills, one after I got them to see if they'd make me sleepy (they don't). And the other on Saturday to calm down.

In a way, I kind of got the feeling she may have thought I was just looking for a quick fix on Xanax... She seemed to think it was weird I wasn't in an accident to trigger this, and also that it only happens every so often and mostly only when in the back seat.

Have you gone to this doctor before? Discussed other anxiety issues (you mentioned it ran in the family)

Xanex is good but its a "taken when needed" pill not a maintenance drug. Antidepressants do that and work on anxiety too.

Also don't worry what causes it. Thats not gonna solve it or help

I'm thinking I might "get over it" with enough time retraining myself to ride in a car. Or just get used to it after a few weeks, but this is awful. I feel terrible. I do not want to stay home any more, so I'm forcing myself to go places, but it takes all of my mental energy to muster the will to do so, and this leaves me mentally exhausted when I finally do get home and can relax. In my head, I can tell myself "this is stupid, why are you panicked, nothing is going to happen, when was the last time you were in an accident? Never? Yea, never. So why are you worried" but that isn't working. This really frustrates me because I always have full control of my thoughts. I always have. It's always comforted me to be able to do so, and I even avoid caffeine and alcohol because I want full control of my thoughts and actions. And I can't with this. And I hate it. It feels like my mind and imagination, things I consider valuable assets of my psyche, are working against me.

You will, its exposure therapy. Your already seeing that with being fine during many rides. Though you're not "retraining", I assume you already know how to get into a car

To the underline, you don't, even without drugs. That's anxiety. You have full control over your actions, though. You might have anxious thoughts you can't control but they don't prevent you from getting in a car, only you consciously do that.

Stop trying to "Solve" your thought processes. This doesn't work with anxiety and actively makes it worse, there is no rationalization, realization or silver bullet which will allow you to get over it. People with anxiety issues trap themselves into worrying about anxiety which just produces more anxiety. Anxiety is normal and can come about from anything. Just manage your response and certain "triggers" no longer will trigger anxiety. You won't have an "ah-ha moment" it will just fade away.

My mom thinks it's my subconscious telling me I'm too old to not drive (I'm 27). I'm not really convinced by this.

Its not this

I usually de-stress myself from anxious situations by thinking of what is wrong, a bunch of different solutions to the problem, and then picking the one that appears to be the most likely and the most rational. Good or bad outcome, just having a plan is enough to settle down. This has always worked. It didn't work for this because I had no solutions.
.

This is a very bad idea if its internalized anxiety like panic or racing thoughts.

 

[jb1234]

I'm agreeing with others that you should try learning how to drive. And seek out a mental health professional.

 

[Breads]

How do you manage going to work? Visiting friends? Going out on the weekend?

Genuinely curious because my girlfriend at the moment does not have a car, and it's quite the struggle at times.

I work from home/ freelance.

Uber/friends/ pub tran (city) is how I get around.

 

[Sarcasm]

That sound the same for me. I feel the same way as a passenger regardless of where I am sitting, but driving is okay. Only way for me.

 

[old manatee]

One of my good friends is bipolar, and sometimes it's impossible for him to ride in a car because it makes him so anxious. During one of his manic episodes it got so bad that he jumped out of a moving car.

 

[Al-ibn Kermit]

Your mom might be slightly correct. I think if you drive, and actually experience controlling the vehicle, your anxiousness will go away.

I know that is true for me where when I drive I have very little fear of accidents but if I'm a passenger on a plane or train, I think more about what-if scenarios.

Just go to a parking lot with your mom and practice driving.

 

[balladofwindfishes]

I called my doctor today to express my concerns of Xanax being maybe pointless because of how often I'm in a car, and if I could get on a long term medication and got a reply of "please see a psychiatrist" That's it. The entire response.

This confuses me because my mom has this same doctor and has gotten long term anxiety medication (Celexa) just fine without a psychiatrist. This makes me continue to think she doesn't believe me and I'm hunting for medication...

Whatever.

Trouble is, I can't find a psychiatrist... There's a ton (okay, maybe 5) right around work I could easily walk to, but they either don't take insurance, don't answer, or actually practice out of different office that's not in walking distance.

The rest around me would require me to find a ride to them, not sure I could manage that on a constant basis for therapy if I needed it. Not because of the car anxiety, but because of the lack of a ride.

I've actually felt pretty good the last few days riding in a car. I only get kind of nervous in the morning, by the afternoon I'm ready to basically go wherever. Yesterday was probably the most "normal" I've felt in weeks, and also kind of the worst I've felt. It was a weird day. I started the day on a hair trigger for panic, but by afternoon I couldn't even get myself anxious by purposely thinking about being in a car. This morning I was alright, just a little anxious, and now I'm totally calm.

(finding a psychiatrist is triggering my social anxiety, though)

 

[GurgleBot20]

Spend less time in PoliGAF.

In seriousness though, I kind of wonder if it's not so much the car but rather the fact that you're crammed in there with others. What you're describing is similar to how I feel when I'm at the laundromat at it gets too crowded (I drive but it's always by myself).

You're doctor recommended a psychiatrist, but did they actually refer anybody? That seems like an important thing for a doctor to do...

 

[guggnichso]

1.) Don‘t avoid driving in cars.
2.) Don’t avoid driving cars.
3.) Don’t try to take steps that lead to avoiding cars (like this convertible thing someone mentioned).
4.) Do not under any circumstance change your behavior to avoid having panic attacks or this feeling you discribed, this is the sure way into a full blown anxiety disorder.
5.) Find a therapist as soon as possible.

 

[balladofwindfishes]

Can I get a psychologist who could refer back to my doctor for medication? Like have the psychologist call my doctor to write prescriptions for stuff? A psychologist seems easier to find than a psychiatrist.

Spend less time in PoliGAF.

Heh, politics doesn't really cause me any serious anxiety

You're doctor recommended a psychiatrist, but did they actually refer anybody? That seems like an important thing for a doctor to do...

The referred doctor didn't pick up, doesn't appear to take my insurance, and are not in a convenient location. I more or less gave up on them.

1.) Don‘t avoid driving in cars.
2.) Don't avoid driving cars.
3.) Don't try to take steps that lead to avoiding cars (like this convertible thing someone mentioned).
4.) Do not under any circumstance change your behavior to avoid having panic attacks or this feeling you discribed, this is the sure way into a full blown anxiety disorder.
5.) Find a therapist as soon as possible.

1. Yep, doing this. I've been to work every single day this week, except Monday. I've even ran a few errands.
2. I don't drive anyway.
3. I wouldn't have a way to do so anyway
4. I haven't changed my behavior much, other than I try to deep breath a bit and I've been taking MUCH longer walks than I normally do.
5. This is appearing to be easier said than done

 

[Poltergust]

If you're not driving, then perhaps a distraction (a portable game, book, etc.) for when you're in a car can help? Something that you can engage in enough that your surroundings melt away. Eventually, once you subconsciously realize that being in a car is no different than being in any other enclosed space, you may be able to relax a bit without any distractions.

 

[Ogodei]

I think your mind can just randomly get the “yips” about anything sometimes. I remember I suddenly had difficulty using escalators for a few years as a teenager/young adult and then it just went away.

I can only really suggest talking to a therapist who perhaps specializes in phobias? I know it’s not exactly a phobia you’re experiencing but it seems like it’s something that should be handled with similar behavioral or exposure therapy.

This seems like a valid theory. I remember one time as a child i became terrified of the "emergency" buttons in my great grandmother's assisted living apartment. I was afraid even getting near them would set them off somehow.

It went away with time, but it appeared for no reason.