Apple iPod M9282LL/A (20 GB)
GAMEPLAY: 6.8 out of 10
What, only four games? I'm sure the iRiver offers like 60 classic games, plus some kind of push button for time travel that allows you to play videogames not even invented yet. All us iPod owners get is Solitaire, Brick, Parachute and - what!? - Music Trivia.
Also, if anything the iPod is too easy to use. It's so simple that I found myself constantly confused! Also, it's so slippery and slick that I was afraid to touch it in fear that it'd slip out of my hands and into the toilet. Or a nearby water hole.
MUSIC/SOUND: 2.0 out of 10
The headsets suck. Wow, they're white and they make me look cool. Too bad the sound sucks. I immediately took them out of my iPod and burned them on fire (I could hear the souls of Chinese slave workers departing in a flash of green smoke), and replaced them with a decent set of headsets I already own. Also, I was promised CD quality music, but I can only have 20 songs on a CD and the iPod has tens of thousands! This is too much music. Completely irresponsible on Apple's part.
VISUALS: 7.0 out of 10
This iPod has a LCD screen, so that's instant points for a company that has forgotten that we need those on MP3 players. I find the text relatively easy to read, but there needs to be more fonts like Comic Sans or that funny font they use for the Star Trek titles. And how come I can't view black-and-white movies on my iPod? What a waste of a perfectly good market! Also, the backlight gave me cancer.
FINAL JUDGMENT: 3.5 out of 10
The iPod tries to be cute with a simple interface and small form factor that does nothing but please the eyes of onlookers. And that's the problem. It's too cool. Stop trying so hard, Apple. Your headsets suck too. Also, I subtracted four points for being affiliated with the iPod shuffle. The shuffle automatically tarnishes the iPod brand name.
LAST WORDS:
If you have the money, you should save up the money and buy a Sony PSP because the Nintendo DS is stupid and for kids and ugly and plays old games and only kids play it. I hear the PSP will play Spider-Man 2 and the iPod won't. Why? Because Apple is ignorant. Their industry standard music players refuse to branch out and add more complex features because Steve Jobs is an asshole.
Also iPod shuffle sucks.
GAMEPLAY: 6.8 out of 10
What, only four games? I'm sure the iRiver offers like 60 classic games, plus some kind of push button for time travel that allows you to play videogames not even invented yet. All us iPod owners get is Solitaire, Brick, Parachute and - what!? - Music Trivia.
Also, if anything the iPod is too easy to use. It's so simple that I found myself constantly confused! Also, it's so slippery and slick that I was afraid to touch it in fear that it'd slip out of my hands and into the toilet. Or a nearby water hole.
MUSIC/SOUND: 2.0 out of 10
The headsets suck. Wow, they're white and they make me look cool. Too bad the sound sucks. I immediately took them out of my iPod and burned them on fire (I could hear the souls of Chinese slave workers departing in a flash of green smoke), and replaced them with a decent set of headsets I already own. Also, I was promised CD quality music, but I can only have 20 songs on a CD and the iPod has tens of thousands! This is too much music. Completely irresponsible on Apple's part.
VISUALS: 7.0 out of 10
This iPod has a LCD screen, so that's instant points for a company that has forgotten that we need those on MP3 players. I find the text relatively easy to read, but there needs to be more fonts like Comic Sans or that funny font they use for the Star Trek titles. And how come I can't view black-and-white movies on my iPod? What a waste of a perfectly good market! Also, the backlight gave me cancer.
FINAL JUDGMENT: 3.5 out of 10
The iPod tries to be cute with a simple interface and small form factor that does nothing but please the eyes of onlookers. And that's the problem. It's too cool. Stop trying so hard, Apple. Your headsets suck too. Also, I subtracted four points for being affiliated with the iPod shuffle. The shuffle automatically tarnishes the iPod brand name.
LAST WORDS:
If you have the money, you should save up the money and buy a Sony PSP because the Nintendo DS is stupid and for kids and ugly and plays old games and only kids play it. I hear the PSP will play Spider-Man 2 and the iPod won't. Why? Because Apple is ignorant. Their industry standard music players refuse to branch out and add more complex features because Steve Jobs is an asshole.
Also iPod shuffle sucks.
