Is refusing to date people of certain races racist?

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I never understood this debate.. everyone has preferences. But as soon as skin color gets involved everyone is suddenly shouting RACIST RACIST RACIST like.. no not really?

It's almost like making decisions based on people's race is racist.

I've dated other races before so I'm not part of all this - but still. If someone does not want to date a black person because the black skin is 'aesthetically' unappealing and/or just not attractive to them then yeah they're super shallow for not looking past that - but how's that different than disliking any other trait?

Because these things have a history. Guess why many people won't like dark skin.
 
As a straight man, would I be a homophobe if I'm not attracted to a gay man? No, I do not think that would be accurate at all. What makes this a different situation with the given facts?


I was waiting for that one.


So for those just joining us, outright rejecting an entire race of people as dateable/being attractive has been defended being no different than at least the following in this thread:

1) Preferring cats over dogs or vice versa. Literally a preference between two species
2) Not being a peodphile
3) Being straight.
 
I'm not going to explain what black culture is to you. If you want to know what it is then look it up for yourself. Many people are afraid of the unknown so I understand his fear since he was born from an upper middle class family in a super white neighborhood where he only really interacted with a handful of people who weren't white until he went to college. I believe that this is more of a issue that happens to many people who don't didn't grow up regularly interacting with people of color.

LOL Bruh keep digging.
 
Not sure if desperation but I'd count myself lucky to even get a date, let alone have any power of "choosing"

*Puts on wizard hat and cape*
 
Oh I don't care for an answer from the gaf because I already have my own opinion on the matter. I wanted to get meaningful discussion about this topic going but it's just devolved into an echo chamber.

I never intended to challenge my own opinion... but you guys, you're the echo chamber.
 
I'm not going to explain what black culture is to you. If you want to know what it is then look it up for yourself. Many people are afraid of the unknown so I understand his fear since he was born from an upper middle class family in a super white neighborhood where he only really interacted with a handful of people who weren't white until he went to college. I believe that this is more of a issue that happens to many people who don't didn't grow up regularly interacting with people of color.

Oh, so this is a back fire thread? No wonder my predictions were off a bit.
 
Yes it would be racist. Why would you refuse to date someone of another race if all the boxes are checked (attractiveness, personality, etc)? That being said of course we all have our preferences when it comes to physical traits but that is only one part of the equation...
 
Outright refusing sounds racist, yeah. I mean I get preferences, generally people may find people from one race more attractive than the other, heck as a brown man I prefer white women the most generally.
 
What the fuck is black culture? Like I genuinely do not understand how you wouldn't date a black person because black culture scares you when you apparently dont interact with black people enough to know anything about them. Which in itself is flawed because black people are not a monolith. We aren't the same person all enjoying the same shit with the same upbringing. This is like some of the stupidest shit I have ever heard.
 
This is what I was hoping to see to be honest. In truth I think that the reason why he won't date black girls is because he is afraid of black culture. I don't think that it's because he isn't attracted to them to be honest.


I'm not going to explain what black culture is to you. If you want to know what it is then look it up for yourself. Many people are afraid of the unknown so I understand his fear since he was born from an upper middle class family in a super white neighborhood where he only really interacted with a handful of people who weren't white until he went to college. I believe that this is more of a issue that happens to many people who don't didn't grow up regularly interacting with people of color.

This is all even more explicitly racist
 
Yes it's racist, now the question is whether your friend is willing to accept this or is he going to freak out and double down on it.

I'm thinking since he did not respond to your probing, he's at least aware of how it looks.
 
So then where is the line?

At race not mattering to one's dating presumably. I'm not quite sure why you need a line instead of a spectrum with better and worse parts.

If “refuses to date X” implies racism, then it seems to me that “refuses to date X for all X != Y” implies racism against everything but Y.


Trying, rather poorly at that, to try to reduce complex social interactions into high school logic generally doesn't work because these categories are not neatly defined based on a level set of shared axioms. I'd actually say both are racist, but that only dating a specific race often derives from fundamentally different principles, than refusing to date a certain race.

If we can agree that “only dates X” is not necessarily racism, then it necessarily implies that “does not date X” is also not necessarily racism

This isn't how understanding the social world works, because refusing to date specific races and only dating specific races are not necessarily always going to overlap in meaning.
 
If only there was a way to find out if a black person follows the sepulchered mystifying dread of the black culture.

A way to find out their likes, dislikes, and perhaps even their personality.

What could it beeeeeee
 
What the fuck is black culture? Like I genuinely do not understand how you wouldn't date a black person because black culture scares you when you apparently dont interact with black people enough to know anything about them. Which in itself is flawed because black people are not a monolith. We aren't the same person all enjoying the same shit with the same upbringing. This is like some of the stupidest shit I havr ever heard.
depressing how we gotta keep saying this
As a black man, what the fuck is going on here OP
plot twist: he's his own black friend
 
Many people are afraid of the unknown so I understand his fear since he was born from an upper middle class family in a super white neighborhood where he only really interacted with a handful of people who weren't white until he went to college. I believe that this is more of a issue that happens to many people who don't didn't grow up regularly interacting with people of color.

That's a fair observation, and it can be applied toward racist attitudes in general; either a lack of exposure to a certain group, being victimized by a certain group, or being exposed exclusively to negative imagery.
 
Oh I don't care for an answer from the gaf because I already have my own opinion on the matter. I wanted to get meaningful discussion about this topic going but it's just devolved into an echo chamber.

I'm seeing multiple people putting out articulated arguments for why it is indeed racist. Using the fact that some people aren't contributing in a meaningful way seems like an easy way out of looking at the flaws in what we think.
 
What the fuck is black culture. Like I genuinely do not understand how you wouldn't date a black person because black culture scares you when you apparently dont interact with black people enough to know anything about them. Which in itself is flawed because black people are not a monolith. We aren't the same person all enjoying the same shit with the same upbringing. This is like some of the stupidest shit I havr ever heard.
Well, you see, there's the thugs and the black-on-black crime and the rap with vulgar phrasings, the dehumanizing stares, and then some of them are out blocking highways or refusing to stand for the national anthem. It's very scary, this black culture thing
 
What the fuck is black culture. Like I genuinely do not understand how you wouldn't date a black person because black culture scares you when you apparently dont interact with black people enough to know anything about them. Which in itself is flawed because black people are not a monolith. We aren't the same person all enjoying the same shit with the same upbringing. This is like some of the stupidest shit I havr ever heard.

Let's just keep it 100% for op and his friend. His friend is an idiot and racist because he is scared of black women based on b.s racist ass stereotypes. Probably shit like black when are ghetto and have attitudes and are loud etc. But instead of owning up to that Op's going to throw around coded words like Black Culture. This is typical garabge black women have to face in this country and the world.
 
OP is trash. Got it a few pages back, you didn't need to keep going.

Your not so slick "why don't women want to talk to me" thread is done.

Also.Black, my ass.
 
Not racist if it's a personal preference.

Racist if they don't want to date a certain race because they think the race is filthy / disgusting/ etc.

Like those filthy mudbloods. Why dilute the pureblood?
 
What is going on here with the culture thing. Obviously being uncritical in approaching the category of black culture can be a problem, but cultures are never clearly demarcated unless you get to the individual level, which ends up defeating the whole purpose of cultural analysis. The phrase isn't a problem in itself, though obviously people can use it problematically.

Black culture is a label for a series of a large number of different cultures where some overlap, some are related, and still others don't have much to do with each other. It's a description, not a platonic box.
 
OP, you don't get to ride your high-horse "echo-chamber" statement when you asked the fucking question everyones responding to in the first place.

Maybe add a damn disclaimer that your question was not meant to answer anything but to reaffirm your own feelings on the subject.
 
Do you date based on physical preferences?
Does race affect physical appearance?
There's your answer.

Bu, bu, bu each individual is special and unique.
Are you telling me if I showed a picture of someone and asked you what race they were, you wouldn't be able to answer in most cases? That's what people mean. They aren't going through family registers to check if their potential partner is "pure" or some shit. And if they are, then yeah, they are racist.

Why is a preference for height, hair color, eye color, age, etc. okay but race is somehow taboo? If you have your own "beauty dating standards", you really have no grounds to talk. But if you would anyone regardless of appearance, then congrats, you are better than 99,999999999999999% of the population.
 
Do you date based on physical preferences?

Weird question. Physical appearance plays a role in attraction to most people sure.

Does race affect physical appearance?

No.

Bu, bu, bu each individual is special and unique.
Are you telling me if I showed a picture of someone and asked you what race they were, you wouldn't be able to answer in most cases? That's what people mean. They aren't going through family registers to check if their potential partner is "pure" or some shit. And if they are, then yeah, they are racist.

There are two ways this is wrong. The first is assuming that preferences can't be racist in origin, they clearly are sometimes, the second is all this does knock the problem down the road. Now the individual in question has defined race, because race is something people are constantly actively creating, based on characteristics he doesn't like. That sounds pretty racist to me.
 
What is going on here with the culture thing. Obviously being uncritical in approaching the category of black culture can be a problem, but cultures are never clearly demarcated unless you get to the individual level, which ends up defeating the whole purpose of cultural analysis. The phrase isn't a problem in itself, though obviously people can use it problematically.

Black culture is a label for a series of a large number of different cultures where some overlap, some are related, and still others don't have much to do with each other. It's a description, not a platonic box.

Did you have a point here or?
 
I didn't expect a black dude like Supast4r (the OP) to cape so much for his racist white friend...and just because he got answers to his question, "the gaf" is an echo chamber? Huh.

Oh he isn't gay lol. He phrased it as "he could never see him dating a black girl."

MLK was going to marry a white girl but called it off because he didn't want to put her life in danger.

This is what I was hoping to see to be honest. In truth I think that the reason why he won't date black girls is because he is afraid of black culture. I don't think that it's because he isn't attracted to them to be honest.

Oh I don't care for an answer from the gaf because I already have my own opinion on the matter. I wanted to get meaningful discussion about this topic going but it's just devolved into an echo chamber.

I'm not going to explain what black culture is to you. If you want to know what it is then look it up for yourself. Many people are afraid of the unknown so I understand his fear since he was born from an upper middle class family in a super white neighborhood where he only really interacted with a handful of people who weren't white until he went to college. I believe that this is more of a issue that happens to many people who don't didn't grow up regularly interacting with people of color.

I've posted tons of times about my race in other threads on gaf but I'm black and the one person that I have dated was black. So it's not me lol.
 
What is going on here with the culture thing. Obviously being uncritical in approaching the category of black culture can be a problem, but cultures are never clearly demarcated unless you get to the individual level, which ends up defeating the whole purpose of cultural analysis. The phrase isn't a problem in itself, though obviously people can use it problematically.

Black culture is a label for a series of a large number of different cultures where some overlap, some are related, and still others don't have much to do with each other. It's a description, not a platonic box.

What is black culture? You haven't said anything here.
 
Did you have a point here or?

Using the phrase is not problematic in itself. I thought that was pretty clear from the fact that I said:

The phrase isn't a problem in itself, though obviously people can use it problematically.

It's a description, not a platonic box.

What is black culture? You haven't said anything here.

Black culture is a label for a series of a large number of different cultures where some overlap, some are related, and still others don't have much to do with each other. It's a description, not a platonic box.
 
What is black culture? You haven't said anything here.

It's a large number of smaller cultures and the OP's friend just happens to fear every single one of them on their own merits.

It's the unknown, you see.


Using the phrase is not problematic in itself. I thought that was pretty clear from the fact that I said.

So within the context of this thread, is the way the OP used it problematic? You didn't give an opinion.
 
Do you date based on physical preferences?
Does race affect physical appearance?
There's your answer.

Bu, bu, bu each individual is special and unique.
Are you telling me if I showed a picture of someone and asked you what race they were, you wouldn't be able to answer in most cases? That's what people mean. They aren't going through family registers to check if their potential partner is "pure" or some shit. And if they are, then yeah, they are racist.

Why is a preference for height, hair color, eye color, age, etc. okay but race is somehow taboo? If you have your own "beauty dating standards", you really have no grounds to talk. But if you would anyone regardless of appearance, then congrats, you are better than 99,999999999999999% of the population.

Read the responses in this thread again.
 
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