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[TheQueen'sOwn]

Alright so I'm writing my speech right now... I'm almost done don't worry. I just wanted to know if any of you who have graduated could give their opinion about their valedictorians speech and mention things that they wish their valedictorian would have addressed.

I don't want to miss anything.

Thanks!

 

[MC Safety]

Alright so I'm writing my speech right now... I'm almost done don't worry. I just wanted to know if any of you who have graduated could give their opinion about their valedictorians speech and mention things that they wish their valedictorian would have addressed.

I don't want to miss anything.

Thanks!

Start off with, "It's a great time to be a gamer..."

Then, you might want to sell your audience on Scientology.

Finally, challenge each one of the audience members to either pull your finger or go back to Russia.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

*jots notes down quickly*

 

[Lathentar]

"I just got wasted for the first time ever and asked a chick out I've been wanting to bang for a long time. SHE SAID YES. Enjoy college, I'm glad I'm smart enough so I don't have to see any of you at mine. Peace out."

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

:lol :lol Awesome! Nice reply :lol!

 

[lexy]

"I just got wasted for the first time ever and asked a chick out I've been wanting to bang for a long time. SHE SAID YES. Enjoy college, I'm glad I'm smart enough so I don't have to see any of you at mine. Peace out."

:lol

 

[Diablos]

"I could stand up here and tell you a bunch of happy horseshit, but look, from this point forward you will likely be locked into the 9 to 5, weekends off, limited partying lifestyle. But don't forget all of the crazy things you did in college. See you in hell, motherfuckers!"

Haha, it would suck to be a party fiend and then graduate from college and reaize, holy shit, it's the real world.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

Here's some of it...

Throughout life, we are constantly met with challenges. Challenges to our well-being, to our personality, our ideas, our fundamental beliefs, challenges to our very definition of life itself. In this inconsistent world, this world of change, the impossible is possible: the unbeatable can be beaten, emotional highs can become emotional lows, victory can become defeat, yet, great distances can become distant memories, the bitter can become sweet and the grass can be greener on one’s own side of the fence. The rigidity of pessimism can be destroyed by the elegance of optimism. In an era of noise, inner silence is often seen as paramount yet most individuals continue to scream. However, when everything in life seems to be heading in the wrong direction, and one’s timing is off, all it takes is one person, one friend, and it all pieces together. Seeing the light through the trees has never been more important than it is right now, for this inner light will guide you as your life changes in the coming months. Close your eyes. In the darkness that follows I want everyone to paint a scene in their head. A moment that you will never forget. Yellows, blues, reds, greens, golds... While the colours and associated emotions will vary, a consistent image will form throughout this gymnasium - an image of love and friendship. Over the past 4 years, experiences at John McCrae have shaped this image and provided focus. The friends depicted – peers, family, teachers, and administrative staff have all taught you valuable life-lessons. Remember, class of 2005, friendship is and always will be the most important thing in life.

Be kind GAF.

 

[BobbyRobby]

Be kind.

Change this to, 'Be excellent to each other...And... PARTY ON, DUDES!'

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

I would love to change it to that... but people would most likely kill me.

Also.... crowd surfing wouldn't work very well if the audience is sitting down would it?

 

[Jewbacca]

you should say...

MY NAME IS TIMMY!!! AND I HAVE BIG BALLLSSSS

 

[miyuru]

Out of curiosity, what was your average?

 

[Drensch]

I hate you all and I thank no one but myself! MVP!

 

[Docpan]

Quote Ren and Stimpy.

 

[cvxfreak]

Out of curiosity, what was your average?

Word.

 

[seanoff]

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’05
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

 

[tetsuoxb]

Bonus points if you include the phrase...

Go to college... for great justice.

 

[ohamsie]

Too bad you aren't the salutatorian, you could just let the valedictorian say a wonderful speech and then go up for your turn and say

Spoiler

"IAWTP"

 

[aoi tsuki]

"Pimps up, hos down. I'm Rick James, bitch."

 

[AniHawk]

Unfortunately, I had to suffer through 2005's valedictorian's speech.

I swear to god I was going to rip my hair out. This is it in a nutshell:

"WHEN WE WERE BORN WE WERE BABIES. WE LEARNED TO WALK AND TALK.

THEN WE WENT TO PRE-SCHOOL AND MET FRIENDS.

AFTER THAT WE WENT TO KINDERGARTEN, AND WE-"

Well you get the idea. He did all of that through High School.

And the ASB president was even worse.

"I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT 2005 IS THE BEST GRADUATING CLASS EVER. WE'VE ALL DONE AN AMAZING JOB AND THE CLASS OF 2005 IS TRULY SOMETHING TO BE RECKONED WITH."

Avoid shit like that. Try to be genuine and speak from your heart. Go back to the cliche crap if you're running out of time.

EDIT: Er, don't take this as a critique on what you wrote- I haven't read it.

 

[Jill Sandwich]

"SAN DIEMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!"

always gets a cheer.

 

[ToxicAdam]

Dear Friends,


Our very existence is a mere anomaly. We are just moss clinging to a big rock that is hurling through space. Small, unforeseen changes could wipe out our existence at any moment. Everything is frail and dying. Even your time here is short. Once you die that is all there is.Then, 50 years after you die, anything you have created will be gone. No one will even remember your name.

Live!


Live like you are going to die tommorow. Because there may be no tomorrow! Fornicate and drink to excess! This is my wish for you. That you are not held down by conforming to a society that is slowly eroding under our feets. Lash out in a new direction! Self-destruction leads to self-preservation.

 

[Aruarian Reflection]

Here's some of it...

Throughout life, we are constantly met with challenges. Challenges to our well-being, to our personality, our ideas, our fundamental beliefs, challenges to our very definition of life itself. In this inconsistent world, this world of change, the impossible is possible: the unbeatable can be beaten, emotional highs can become emotional lows, victory can become defeat, yet, great distances can become distant memories, the bitter can become sweet and the grass can be greener on one’s own side of the fence. The rigidity of pessimism can be destroyed by the elegance of optimism. In an era of noise, inner silence is often seen as paramount yet most individuals continue to scream. However, when everything in life seems to be heading in the wrong direction, and one’s timing is off, all it takes is one person, one friend, and it all pieces together. Seeing the light through the trees has never been more important than it is right now, for this inner light will guide you as your life changes in the coming months. Close your eyes. In the darkness that follows I want everyone to paint a scene in their head. A moment that you will never forget. Yellows, blues, reds, greens, golds... While the colours and associated emotions will vary, a consistent image will form throughout this gymnasium - an image of love and friendship. Over the past 4 years, experiences at John McCrae have shaped this image and provided focus. The friends depicted – peers, family, teachers, and administrative staff have all taught you valuable life-lessons. Remember, class of 2005, friendship is and always will be the most important thing in life.

Be kind GAF.

Man, don't bore your audience to death. Imagine yourself sitting out there under the hot sun listening to this speech. Do you want to be here? That's my advice, write something that you yourself want to hear while you're sitting out there impatient to leave.

Also, that "close your eyes and visualize" something is as cliche as they come.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

Out of curiosity, what was your average?

94%

Man, don't bore your audience to death. Imagine yourself sitting out there under the hot sun listening to this speech. Do you want to be here? That's my advice, write something that you yourself want to hear while you're sitting out there impatient to leave.

Also, that "close your eyes and visualize" something is as cliche as they come.

I agree. Time to change it.
Only 4 hours left :lol.

 

[pollo]

all that juxtaposition to conclude in one sentence? You should go from the heart man and try to say something that hits home to everyone at your class.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

Ok at this point I'm figuring one good concluding paragraph should be able to make up for 2 minutes of crap. I might have to fire a gun to get the audience awake before I say it though :lol.

 

[ManDudeChild]

Here's some of it...

Throughout life, we are constantly met with challenges. Challenges to our well-being, to our personality, our ideas, our fundamental beliefs, challenges to our very definition of life itself. In this inconsistent world, this world of change, the impossible is possible: you can do anything, anything at all. The only limit … is yourself. You can do anything… at life. The infinite is possible … in life. The unattainable is unknown… at life. Welcome to zombo.com. The rigidity of pessimism can be destroyed by the elegance of optimism. In an era of noise, inner silence is often seen as paramount yet most individuals continue to scream. However, when everything in life seems to be heading in the wrong direction, and one’s timing is off, all it takes is one person, one friend, and it all pieces together. Seeing the light through the trees has never been more important than it is right now, for this inner light will guide you as your life changes in the coming months. Close your eyes. In the darkness that follows I want everyone to paint a scene in their head. A moment that you will never forget. Yellows, blues, reds, greens, golds... While the colours and associated emotions will vary, a consistent image will form throughout this gymnasium - an image of love and friendship. Over the past 4 years, experiences at John McCrae have shaped this image and provided focus. The friends depicted – peers, family, teachers, and administrative staff have all taught you valuable life-lessons. Remember, class of 2005, friendship is and always will be the most important thing in life.

Be kind GAF.

If you want to really confuse your audience ... throw the edit above in it.

Spoiler

Sorry, I couldn't resist :lol

 

[Meier]

94%

94% as valedictorian? Holy shit.. I'm assuming youre Canadian or something since you gave a percentage. Here in the States, you usually have to have over an A+/100% average to get it, then you share it with like 15 others. :lol

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

94% as valedictorian? Holy shit.. I'm assuming youre Canadian or something since you gave a percentage. Here in the States, you usually have to have over an A+/100% average to get it, then you share it with like 15 others. :lol

It had nothing to do with marks. All the grads voted and I won. I'm probably in the top five in grade average at my school.

 

[blahness]

Dear Friends,


Our very existence is a mere anomaly. We are just moss clinging to a big rock that is hurling through space. Small, unforeseen changes could wipe out our existence at any moment. Everything is frail and dying. Even your time here is short. Once you die that is all there is.Then, 50 years after you die, anything you have created will be gone. No one will even remember your name.

Live!


Live like you are going to die tommorow. Because there may be no tomorrow! Fornicate and drink to excess! This is my wish for you. That you are not held down by conforming to a society that is slowly eroding under our feets. Lash out in a new direction! Self-destruction leads to self-preservation.

winner!

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

While in most cases we have known each other for 7 years, in some cases we have known each other our entire lives. As you forge ahead in all of life’s endeavors, remember that as you take on responsibility and face adversity, your classmates will be there. Perhaps not in body, but in your heart and mind. Memories, no matter how minute in nature, will always be an effective means of calming the soul. Find your voice. Find your purpose. Make ripples as you live your life. If there is something you haven’t done – do it. If there is something you haven’t said – say it. Live life today, for yourself, be honest – for tomorrow you will only be as great as an individual’s memory of you. I have talked about friendship as an effective means of easing the burden of change, however I hope that all grads do not take this too far and assume that this burden can be placed in another individual’s lap. Friendship will be a step in the stairs of life, not a crutch.



Not done yet.. just... working along. :lol

 

[ManDudeChild]

It had nothing to do with marks. All the grads voted and I won. I'm probably in the top five in grade average at my school.

If it had nothing to do with grades... ok, now I'm confused ... not as much as when that average student in my HS was voted in (as you at least have above average grades), but still confused.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

For all the americans wondering about my marks.... I had high enough marks to get into any university I wanted at the highest level of scholarship money (er.. I believe.. except for waterloo... at 95%-100%).

 

[Tarazet]

The valedictorian at my school was of Middle Eastern descent, he got a 5.0 GPA one semester from inflated averages... his speech sounded like an engineer trying to be funny, just piles and piles and piles of numbers. Great guy though.. I wonder where he went.

 

[Leatherface]

"I just got wasted for the first time ever and asked a chick out I've been wanting to bang for a long time. SHE SAID YES. Enjoy college, I'm glad I'm smart enough so I don't have to see any of you at mine. Peace out."

:lol

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

Can anyone tell me if what I just wrote is better than the shit at the start of this thread?

Thanks .

 

[Willco]

When I went on vacation last March, there was this valedictorian there. She had a hot body, and after a few drinks she got totally wild. And I saw her nude. True story.

...

SAN DIEMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

 

[ToxicAdam]

As someone who has given four public speechs long ago, it's really not WHAT you say (since half the people aren't listening anyways) but HOW you say it. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Make eye contact with the crowd the whole time. (Don't bury your eyes downward like alot of speakers do)

You will be amazed by how well you are recieved if you seem alert, succinct and engaging while you speak. Speak with a little energy in your voice. Don't use a monotone. Record yourself a few times, see how you sound while you speak.

What helped me with nerves was to imagine I was speaking on the phone with these people. I am at my most comfortable when I am talking on a phone. Also, if you do flub up .. just move on .. don;t get so hung up on any mistakes you might make. It's not the end of the world. People are very forgiving to people when they make public speeches (since most are terrified to do it).

 

[Tarazet]

While in most cases we have known each other for 7 years, in some cases we have known each other our entire lives. As you forge ahead in all of life’s endeavors, remember that as you take on responsibility and face adversity, your classmates will be there. Perhaps not in body, but in your heart and mind. Memories, no matter how minute in nature, will always be an effective means of calming the soul. Find your voice. Find your purpose. Make ripples as you live your life. If there is something you haven’t done – do it. If there is something you haven’t said – say it. Live life today, for yourself, be honest – for tomorrow you will only be as great as an individual’s memory of you. I have talked about friendship as an effective means of easing the burden of change, however I hope that all grads do not take this too far and assume that this burden can be placed in another individual’s lap. Friendship will be a step in the stairs of life, not a crutch.

Have you tried reading this out loud? It's not exactly tripping off my tongue. I would cut down on the big words, because they only serve to alienate your audience. Speeches are effective when they are put together with simple, concise, and well-written sentences. Deliberately vague and ambiguous language and pretentious-sounding sentence fragments don't help.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

Yup .
Thanks man.

I was valedictorian in grade 8, I've won every public speaking contest I've been in, and presented a project to over 300 individuals at a ESRI User Conference (geomatics).

This one is different though. It matters.

*shits pants*

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

Have you tried reading this out loud? It's not exactly tripping off my tongue. I would cut down on the big words, because they only serve to alienate your audience. Speeches are effective when they are put together with simple, concise, and well-written sentences. Deliberately vague and ambiguous language and pretentious-sounding sentence fragments don't help.

Alright thanks. Changing now.

Adversity - difficulty
As you forge ahead in all of life’s endeavors - As you move forward in life


Thanks guys... you're helping a lot. And yeah being a pretentious prick is something I have trouble with.... I just want to give them a good speech and good commencement... so this is really helping .

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

As someone who has given four public speechs long ago, it's really not WHAT you say (since half the people aren't listening anyways) but HOW you say it. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Make eye contact with the crowd the whole time. (Don't bury your eyes downward like alot of speakers do)

You will be amazed by how well you are recieved if you seem alert, succinct and engaging while you speak. Speak with a little energy in your voice. Don't use a monotone. Record yourself a few times, see how you sound while you speak.

What helped me with nerves was to imagine I was speaking on the phone with these people. I am at my most comfortable when I am talking on a phone. Also, if you do flub up .. just move on .. don;t get so hung up on any mistakes you might make. It's not the end of the world. People are very forgiving to people when they make public speeches (since most are terrified to do it).

Best advice ever.

 

[Red Blaster]

I knew of this guy at another school that deliberately "slacked off" so he'd be number 3 or 4 just so he wouldn't have to give a speech at graduation.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

I knew of this guy at another school that deliberately "slacked off" so he'd be number 3 or 4 just so he wouldn't have to give a speech at graduation.

That sounds smart.

 

[pnjtony]

friendship is and always will be the most important thing in life.

I disagree. Friends are very often temporary andusually replacable. That may sound cynical but it's true. Think back to elementary school...high school? If you were in the military? Out of your friends now...how long have you known them? I know I only keep in touch with less than a handfull from even high school much less earlier. This isn't to say I don't have friends, I have a lot of friends. That just shows that people change, interests change and friends are indeed replaceble. For me personal happiness is the most important thing. This include the friends who come and go,job, hobbies and the family I choose to keep in touch with....or not.

I dunno, maybe when you're young and the only responsibility you have is to not be late to get drunk and party only to find yourself nearly falling off of a balcony from alcohol poisoning or close to drowning in your own vomit then perhaps friendship is the most important thing in your life because otherwise you'd be dead...but in life in general I'd have to disagree.

Plus all the "this is that" and "that is this" examples were draining. I wanted to throw a tomato at my monitor, get out of this starchy robe and have sex with my girlfriend.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

Yes but you wouldn't be happy without good friendships. I'm not necessarily trying to say that my friendship with these individuals will always be the top priority, I'm simply trying to say that friendship.. in general... right now and in the future... is incredibly important to being happy... unless you're a hermit.

 

[djtiesto]

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’05
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Oh god, the valedictorians of my HS used that for our commencement speech way back in 1999. It was the dumbest and most boring speech I've ever heard. They also talked about something involving an ice cube melting, I hardly remember it much, all I remember about that day was my friend Colin and I goofing off and singing cheesy Eurodance songs because we were so bored.

 

[ManDudeChild]

Oh god, the valedictorians of my HS used that for our commencement speech way back in 1999. It was the dumbest and most boring speech I've ever heard. They also talked about something involving an ice cube melting, I hardly remember it much, all I remember about that day was my friend Colin and I goofing off and singing cheesy Eurodance songs because we were so bored.

I've come to the conclusion that EVERYONE has had to deal with THAT stupid cliched pos that was pop culture from 98 - 00.

 

[Justin Bailey]

"When you get to college, it doesn't matter what your major is unless it's something technical. Just find something you like and major in it. Party heavily and meet lots of people. Your connections are exponentially more important than your degree. In most cases your GPA won't matter either, just keep it above 3.0. Now get the hell out of here and start celebrating."

 

[Shouta]

The speech my friend gave at our graduation 3 years ago was pretty funny. It was basically a dressed up "Fuck you" to almost every student in my class. :lol He had a really, really nasty version of it that he wanted to read but he knew he was going to get in trouble for reading it. I literally saw the expression of many of the teachers change when he used the speech he did. I would've killed to see their expressions on the one he wanted to do.