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It's going to sound weird, but I take my brain bait: Can you cry?
Airola
Member
Seeking help has been suggested here already. Maybe he'll do that. I don't see what's wrong with talking about it here and maybe taking it to a therapist also (unless it's the rapist).
Who cares about someone dragging mood down in some thread somewhere. Just like with online bullying, if it bothers you, just walk away from the screen like nigga close your eyes.
It's like there's this weird alternative dimension version of SJW around that is determined to fight against all instances of someone showing weakness online.
Papa
Banned
Spoiler alert: he won’t. He’ll continue offloading his burden to faceless strangers on the internet.
Torrent of Pork
Banned
I think the last time I cried do to emotional pain was when my dog died in my arms. Time's mostly healed that wound thankfully.
One thing I cry at damn near every time is music that reminds me of my childhood. Happy tears though, it's always weird when I hear orchestrated Zelda and Final Fantasy tracks on youtube, and I'll tear up with a big dumb smile on my face.
One thing I cry at damn near every time is music that reminds me of my childhood. Happy tears though, it's always weird when I hear orchestrated Zelda and Final Fantasy tracks on youtube, and I'll tear up with a big dumb smile on my face.
Airola
Member
Could be.
You think he would call help or reach to his family or friends if he didn't write here, though? That in some way writing here stops them talking about it offline? Isn't it possible that writing here first might help people taking their issues into real world later?
Besides, you are advocating for sucking it up anyway, carrying the baggage, being stoic about it. So I doubt you actually care if writing here would somehow stop them looking for help in real world. You just personally don't want to read about these issues. The help for that is to not open these threads in the first place, let alone taking part of the discussion. Not that you can't or shouldn't do it either though. Discussing about this from your angle could be productive too, come it from your point of view or from the point of view that disagrees with your point of view. So to me it's ok if you share your view here too, but if this issue is really some sort of a problem for you, then it would be better to just not be involved. After all, it's just text online. No need to have a personal battle against that.
However, the thing with online texts is that they aren't there just for the people who write them or participate in the discussions but there are lots of lurkers who don't ever participate, but they might get some good insights to their lives too and maybe they will end up seeking help from the real world.
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Iorv3th
Member
You might try talking to a therapist or something.
I didn't cry that I can think of until i got a call that my grandmother died and I couldn't even speak. Was very close to her. But I think most of it is just not wanting to cry or show weakness. When I got divorced I cried like a baby at random times for over a month or so., but I wouldn't do it in front of or around anyone.
I didn't cry that I can think of until i got a call that my grandmother died and I couldn't even speak. Was very close to her. But I think most of it is just not wanting to cry or show weakness. When I got divorced I cried like a baby at random times for over a month or so., but I wouldn't do it in front of or around anyone.
Papa
Banned
My point is less about what’s good for him and more about what’s good for GAF. It just so happens that what’s best for both is keeping that stuff off here and in real life therapy. Encouraging people to use GAF as a proxy to actual therapy helps no one, least of all the people in need of therapy. It only serves as a hollow distraction. Moreover, it throws up a giant flare to attract the attention of all the other emotionally-needy, maladjusted people to come and spread their misery. It also invites the bad actor victimhood-as-currency types to play their toxic games.
Just as 4chan is not your personal army, GAF is not your personal therapist.
MetalAlien
Banned
In the summer I went through some of the most horrible shit you can imagine for weeks on end. You just swallow it because you have to. If you are the last one standing and everyone else is down, you have to take it.
Slings and Arrows
Banned
Emotion is weakness. Prove me wrong.
Papa
Banned
Emotion is fine if it's controlled. It's uncontrolled emotion that is weakness.
-Arcadia-
Banned
It’s unfortunate that it’s this way, but he’s right.
I had a front-row seat to watching this with old Gaf. Even a bit with New Gaf. Remember a month or so ago, when one such thread in OT came along, and suddenly it was a new one every day?
Even if someone does this with the best intentions, the people that follow will have anything but.
Mossybrew
Banned
This is weak bait my dude, the very definition of low effort.
Papa
Banned
You sound emotional
HORRORSHØW
Member
Tears are ejaculate of the soul.
Slings and Arrows
Banned
I stand by it. Name me a situation where emotion helps? It clouds the kind and judgement and stops you from making rational and logical decisions
M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
I agree, but only if you can truly do that. If you just act like you feel nothing and in reality inside it's different story, then it just makes you hypocrite.
Slings and Arrows
Banned
True. But if what you feel inside is nothing or you never show your emotions, isn't that the same thing?
Elektro Demon
Banned
I also don't cry. I used to be well adjusted and pretty normal and had feeling towards other people, but sadly I'm now dead inside.
A certain event happened to me a few years ago and I was pretty fucked up after that. But after that I don't feel emotions nor do I cry. Which isn't really healthy.
So you're not alone OP. I kinda got used to living with it. I think the only way to get better is to see a therapist.
A certain event happened to me a few years ago and I was pretty fucked up after that. But after that I don't feel emotions nor do I cry. Which isn't really healthy.
So you're not alone OP. I kinda got used to living with it. I think the only way to get better is to see a therapist.
plushyp
Member
How old are you, Elektro?
Elektro Demon
Banned
M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Sure it could be, but if you suffer inside, than you act salty and do evil shit, just so you get some "revenge" most often than not. You know about book "Übermensch" by Friendrich Nietzsche? Where he basically talks about that everyone could be beyond-man if he disconnect himself from emotions.
plushyp
Member
The mental health thread getting shifted to OT like many other threads is what's reduced traffic. I'm sure many users are unaware of it. Hell, it has more threads than the Politics section but only 1/4th the posts.
M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
I don't neccesarilly think that's about mental health, it was about people being able or not able to do certain thing. It's not like there is any solution to this, it's "just is".
Humdinger
Gold Member
OP, you said "when something happen, I don't have any sort of emotions, it's just this terrorising pain, pressure inside my head, when you cannot breathe, think or anything like that. It's extremely uncomfortable. I hate it."
To me, that sounds like your anxiety is blocking any other emotional experience. Anxiety does that. It locks everything down. The fear has to go, before you can feel anything else. The anxiety may be a fear of other feelings.
Inborn personality traits may be playing a role as well. Some people are more emotionally attuned and sensitive than others. Personally, I'm in the former camp. I'm glad I can feel emotions deeply. Emotion is a big source of information, color, meaning, and motivation in life. It's good to be able to feel the full range. But it's not uncommon to be stuck or cut off in some ways, too.
The fact that you were a heavy drinker makes me think there are some emotional blocks. That would be pretty common in people who have addictions. Addiction is often a way of avoiding feelings.
Just my two cents. Some of this may not apply. If so, just ignore it. I don't know you, so I'm just speculating.
To me, that sounds like your anxiety is blocking any other emotional experience. Anxiety does that. It locks everything down. The fear has to go, before you can feel anything else. The anxiety may be a fear of other feelings.
Inborn personality traits may be playing a role as well. Some people are more emotionally attuned and sensitive than others. Personally, I'm in the former camp. I'm glad I can feel emotions deeply. Emotion is a big source of information, color, meaning, and motivation in life. It's good to be able to feel the full range. But it's not uncommon to be stuck or cut off in some ways, too.
The fact that you were a heavy drinker makes me think there are some emotional blocks. That would be pretty common in people who have addictions. Addiction is often a way of avoiding feelings.
Just my two cents. Some of this may not apply. If so, just ignore it. I don't know you, so I'm just speculating.
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M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Well I have GAD, so it's not that surprising. But normally it does not bother me, but I have this sort of issue even before I had an anxiety disorder. So I think is in something diffferent. I guess and yes I've been to many therapist, but they does not seems to help, so that's why I am asking, etc : )
Slings and Arrows
Banned
I don't get salty or aim for revenge, I just don't let shit bother me. If anything does I keep it in, mull it over and release that energy somewhere else.
I haven't read Nietzsche yet
M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
You have great gift then, for me it's super hard to move on. I hate that about myself honestly. I should be better, that's what I feel.
eot
Banned
Guess I'm part inhuman then
Chairman Tickles
Banned
M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Cool, thanks for letting me know. I appreciate, that you care : )
Chairman Tickles
Banned
The best jokes are sometimes the most inappropriate ones. Best wishes and all that.
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M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Agree 100%, I hope you get my reply, that it should be some sort of sarcastic reply. And don't worry, I no longer feel need to die : )
Humdinger
Gold Member
I've read a lot of Nietzsche, and I don't think he said that. He was a very passionate man. He might have talked about bringing emotions under control or transcending them, but not about disconnecting from them totally. It's also worth remembering that Nietzsche went insane.
Emotions exist for a lot of very good reasons. Anyone who thinks we are better off without living without emotion should ask themselves what the function or purpose of emotions are. Why did they evolve? Why are they an essential part of every human brain and every mammal brain? It's not just fight/flight, because that's mostly a lizard brain function. Why is the emotional brain (limbic system etc.) so crucial that it developed long before any cerebral cortex, and it exists across all mammalian species? What is its purpose? And once you've answered that, then ask yourself what life would be like, with that part of your brain lobotomized.
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Slings and Arrows
Banned
Play to your strengths. If you can't move on, change what the past is to you. Keep it alive as a skill or a reminder of a learned lesson, rather than something negative
M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
It's not like I don't agree with what you are saying. I think emotions are important, but sometimes, they control you way more than it's appropriate. At least in my case. They definitely serve a purpose, but in my opinion they should anhance your life, not destroy it. Which is what they often trying to do. I think they also helps (in evolutionary sense) to not be evil, don't do evil stuff, etc. They control and guide your behavior. You don't have to think if something is right or wrong, because you feel that, sooner than you can even think, in most cases. They definitely have a purpose.
Sound really rational, this is way easier to say than do, but if you can do what you said, more power to you : )
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lock2k
Banned
Of course I can cry. I just need to look at my bank account.
Felt the same in my early 20s but things happen and you shall break down even if that manifests as just you slightly tearing up.
My father never once got even slightly red eyed. That was the example I ignorantly followed. But he's a man who survived a civil war, different kind of man.
My father never once got even slightly red eyed. That was the example I ignorantly followed. But he's a man who survived a civil war, different kind of man.
Airola
Member
We aren't the ones who decide what is good for GAF. You are not and I am not. I look at this forum, and forums in general, first and foremost platforms to discuss. To me it doesn't matter what we discuss. If there is something that is not allowed, it's a thing for the admins to decide. What we feel is good or is not good is irrelevant. We can choose to not read them.
Now, I kinda understand that maybe some "I was raped" stories don't fit here and should be dealt with in different environment with real life people, and that's what it seemed to be was your position at first, but from your subsequent posts I got the impression that you don't like too emotional posts in general and that's where I would disagree.
The real problem with old GAF wasn't that there were tons of emotional posts. The problem was that people in position of power chose to suppress the opposing opinions that went against those emotional posts, even going so far as to ban people who had different opinions.
Besides it's ironic if someone would say there are too emotional posts in a forum where laughter emoticons are constantly used in both the genuine way of showing a post made them laugh or in a passive-aggressive manner. Like it or not, internet forums have been growing to be able to mediate emotion behind words and as reactions to words more and more. I am using it, you are using it. Wordly communication is slowly turning closer to real world communication from being just plain cold hard information shared by typing.
I haven't visited 4chan in maybe 10 years so I don't know what it's currently all about, but one thing I liked back in the day about it was that it both was and wasn't a "personal army." I mean, the reactions to posts went from one opposite side to another with no-one really knowing when the reactions would be what. One day someone talking shit about something would be met with people agreeing and doing things in favor for the OP, and suddenly when people thought they can use that to their advantage, the reactions suddenly were "we are not your personal army." And the next day it could be the opposite again. It was all about not having rules. And often people people just stirred the pot for laughs. Like, there could've been a certain type of behavior for days, and then suddenly, for laughs, people would be "not today, OP" and create a situation where things horribly backfire on the OP even if just yesterday the same kind of post would've been met with people going along with the OP.
What comes to GAF not being your personal therapist, sure, obviously it's not an alternative to a real therapist. But sometimes people just need to vent or open up about something. Sometimes it's just sharing a personal thing and asking if there are others who have the same thing. And I think people shouldn't care if you or someone else doesn't like it. Where do we draw the line anyway? People are quick to call GAF "home" and call people here friends, but how much should we be able to share about of our personal lives? Just as long as we don't show sadness? People seem to be ok with showing they can laugh, but not showing they can cry. I don't understand that. A sad emotional post here and there doesn't take anything away from all the posts made for a laugh. Sometimes a person might even learn that their initial emotional state of mind was an overreaction by posting about it online and having replies that show it was an overreaction. It's all ok too.
Rational and logical decisions are subjective. Your view of what's logical or rational isn't necessarily good for you or people around you. Especially if one is not able to take account the emotions of others and the emotions of one's own, the logical conclusions can be terrible for everyone involved. Of course they might not be terrible, but I'm just saying that people often think their personal view of rationality is the be all and end all, that somehow when they think they are rational and don't let anything overcome their rationalizations, their opinions become better.
People take rationality as a virtue, but in the end it's only about their own personal view of what is rational. "I am rational" means nothing if the conclusions made are terrible.
Plus, you should remember that the feeling of being annoyed is emotion too. People who say they don't let emotions come on the way of logic might often be drowning in annoyance, even if it's just about being annoyed from all the emotions weak people show.
MetalAlien
Banned
Ailynn
Faith - Hope - Love
Thank you for all your kind and thoughtful words!
I want to say just how very sorry I am to hear you suffered sexual abuse as a child. I'm thankful to say I never had to deal with any of that...but most all my female friends have, and I have three male friends that were sexually abused as children as well. It is horrible, and my heart breaks for you and everyone else who has dealt with all of that.
I'm thankful it seems you've managed to recover from it as best as you can, and I hope each day gets better as life goes on. Much love to you, as well as anyone else here who dealt with such betrayal.
Melon
Banned
I'm a big crybaby. I cry when I'm mad, sad, happy, frustrated, embarrassed, laughing, when I see something cute, etc.
I'm emotionally-stunted due to a big chunk of my childhood being ripped from me and facing years of trauma. So a lot of times my coping mechanisms are very infantile and child-like. People call me weak a lot of the time for being a crier, but I don't really think so. I'm still pushing after all the years of abuse I've had to endure, so fuck what they think. At least i still go out and do shit with my life instead of wallowing in it.
I'm emotionally-stunted due to a big chunk of my childhood being ripped from me and facing years of trauma. So a lot of times my coping mechanisms are very infantile and child-like. People call me weak a lot of the time for being a crier, but I don't really think so. I'm still pushing after all the years of abuse I've had to endure, so fuck what they think. At least i still go out and do shit with my life instead of wallowing in it.
H4ze
Banned
I am not able to cry freely, when most people around me are crying because someone died or something like that, I just don't cry.
I am sad as fuck too, but I just tend not to cry.
But there are a few things that can actually trigger me hard enough to go full sobbing mode, when my cat died this time around a year ago I was a mess, she has been with me for 18 1/2 years.
This and if something would happen to my family, my parents, my siblings, that would make me cry a river in no time.
I am sad as fuck too, but I just tend not to cry.
But there are a few things that can actually trigger me hard enough to go full sobbing mode, when my cat died this time around a year ago I was a mess, she has been with me for 18 1/2 years.
This and if something would happen to my family, my parents, my siblings, that would make me cry a river in no time.
BigBooper
Member
When you have a devestating experience, it makes a whole lot of life seem less important. I've been dealing with cancer treatments for three years and not much negatively gets to me anymore. Positive emotional things do get to me though. Friends that are happy to see me, or my nephew wanting to hang out makes me very happy.
So in short, yes, but it's changed some.
So in short, yes, but it's changed some.
M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Well if you basically die for few minutes and before dying and experiencing slow death, where your brain turning slowly off any negative emotions. It makes you not to be afraid of death, it was actually one of the best feelings I had : D No pain, no nothing, after severe anxiety for years ot was amazing. But then they saved me and well everything was in full force and FUCK, WHY? But well, now I am glad : )
MiyazakiHatesKojima
Banned
Avatar to Post ratio confusing
MiyazakiHatesKojima
Banned
You cried over THAT but NOT my post?