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[DragoonKain]

I don't know if anyone else has even had this happen, but in the last year or so I've started to have this fear of missing out on a bunch of different "cultures" and "scenes" that I never really paid much attention to before.

Traveling has always been one that existed for me for most of my life, but I'm in my mid 30's now and lately it's happening with everything. I was watching something about fine dining the other day and it's something that never piqued my interest in my entire life, but now I think it's something I'd be interest in dabbling in for a time. Going to super high end restaurants and tasting their amazing food. Restaurants where you can only get in with reservations long in advance and the atmosphere is dark and peaceful and elegant.

I was going through my movie collection and saw the movie Sideways and was thinking about how even though I don't even really drink alcohol much at all, wine tasting would be a cool thing to try one day. Just going out into the country with some friends and learning about wine.

I've suddenly wanted to explore MMA too. Not necessarily because it's something I'm interested in a lot, but because I'm worried that I might like it and one day I'll find out I do, but got into it too late when I'm an old man and my body is broken down and I'd have wished I got into it when I was still young enough.

Small stuff too. Like I'll read some internet story about some Youtuber war going on with popular Youtubers and I'm like I never heard of these people, is there a whole Youtube scene or a band/music scene out there that I haven't discovered yet that I'd really love if I put more time into discovering it?

Even sex stuff, I'm not even into BDSM much at all, but now I wonder maybe I would be if I explored that kinda scene that I never bothered exploring. I mean you never know if you don't try.

All this shit I never spent any time caring about, are things I'm now wondering about. I guess no one has the time to explore and try every interest and we have to stick to our interests, but still.

Is this what our peers call a mid life crisis?

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

I had to google what FOMO means

If you explore MMA do you plan starting with BJJ, kickboxing, wrestling, a bit of everything?

I’m in my 30s and I guess FOMO hasn’t hit me hard yet

 

[Patrick S.]

Buy a Corvette.

 

[DragoonKain]

I had to google what FOMO means

If you explore MMA do you plan starting with BJJ, kickboxing, wrestling, a bit of everything?

I’m in my 30s and I guess FOMO hasn’t hit me hard yet

I was thinking BJJ, but I just think the competition could be really eye opening, the training involved could be life changing. Or something like Krav Maga even. Self defense is useful as well.

That is only one of the hobbies I've thought about. I've been thinking about learning to play instruments too. Going to more concerts. FOMO to the extreme lately.

Maybe corona has ramped it up more and my brain is like we may not have a lot of this for a while, so when we get back to normal life you better go after it while you still can in case we have another pandemic.

 

[lock2k]

I don't know if anyone else has even had this happen, but in the last year or so I've started to have this fear of missing out on a bunch of different "cultures" and "scenes" that I never really paid much attention to before.

Traveling has always been one that existed for me for most of my life, but I'm in my mid 30's now and lately it's happening with everything. I was watching something about fine dining the other day and it's something that never piqued my interest in my entire life, but now I think it's something I'd be interest in dabbling in for a time. Going to super high end restaurants and tasting their amazing food. Restaurants where you can only get in with reservations long in advance and the atmosphere is dark and peaceful and elegant.

I was going through my movie collection and saw the movie Sideways and was thinking about how even though I don't even really drink alcohol much at all, wine tasting would be a cool thing to try one day. Just going out into the country with some friends and learning about wine.

I've suddenly wanted to explore MMA too. Not necessarily because it's something I'm interested in a lot, but because I'm worried that I might like it and one day I'll find out I do, but got into it too late when I'm an old man and my body is broken down and I'd have wished I got into it when I was still young enough.

Small stuff too. Like I'll read some internet story about some Youtuber war going on with popular Youtubers and I'm like I never heard of these people, is there a whole Youtube scene or a band/music scene out there that I haven't discovered yet that I'd really love if I put more time into discovering it?

Even sex stuff, I'm not even into BDSM much at all, but now I wonder maybe I would be if I explored that kinda scene that I never bothered exploring. I mean you never know if you don't try.

All this shit I never spent any time caring about, are things I'm now wondering about. I guess no one has the time to explore and try every interest and we have to stick to our interests, but still.

Is this what our peers call a mid life crisis?

I'm more of a FML than FOMO lol

 

[EviLore]

Fire under your ass is a good thing; life is short.

Orient yourself around one or two things at a time and immerse yourself. If you’re interested in MMA, find a good BJJ school and take an intro class. Then don’t quit.

 

[quickwhips]

I have an amazing job a great beautiful wife and 2 wonderful kids. I am not missing out on shit. I just finished my new garage installed a 2 post lift and im building a new motor for a project car. Life is awesome covid 19 can suck it. #lifeiswhatyoumakeofit

 

[DragoonKain]

Fire under your ass is a good thing; life is short.

Orient yourself around one or two things at a time and immerse yourself. If you’re interested in MMA, find a good BJJ school and take an intro class. Then don’t quit.

I think I'm actually a bit more interested in learning an instrument if I'm gonna focus on one or two things. MMA is something that has interested me lately, but also I know people who get into it have joint and back and sometimes neurological/concussion issues when they're done and that's something that has always made me shy away from it. Need to find out more about just how common MMA long-term affects on the body are and if it's worth it if you are only interested in it as a hobby and not making it a major part of your life, like being a competitor.

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

Buy a Corvette.

Chicks dig ‘em

 

[EviLore]

I think I'm actually a bit more interested in learning an instrument if I'm gonna focus on one or two things. MMA is something that has interested me lately, but also I know people who get into it have joint and back and sometimes neurological/concussion issues when they're done and that's something that has always made me shy away from it. Need to find out more about just how common MMA long-term affects on the body are and if it's worth it if you are only interested in it as a hobby and not making it a major part of your life, like being a competitor.

You’re not going to get brain damage in BJJ, but you definitely can if you spar in striking disciplines like boxing/kickboxing/MT. As far as other injuries, sure, I’ve broken several bones doing BJJ and tweaked various parts of my body, but nothing too crazy. It’s part of the price for doing something worthwhile.

 

[Punished Miku]

Well, you are missing out. It's not fear, it's just a fact. Everyone gets tunnel vision and fails to push themselves to try new things. Even simple decisions like trying new types of food. Some people eat the same stuff, at the same restaurants for years on end. They never try entire countries worth of food options, simply because they never bothered. Travel is the same way. Everything is that way really.

Cram in as many fun and interesting things as you can before you die. That's life. Anytime I have 3 days off, I can drive halfway across the US and visit a city I've never been to. The list goes on and on.

 

[DragoonKain]

You’re not going to get brain damage in BJJ, but you definitely can if you spar in striking disciplines like boxing/kickboxing/MT. As far as other injuries, sure, I’ve broken several bones doing BJJ and tweaked various parts of my body, but nothing too crazy. It’s part of the price for doing something worthwhile.

Most of what I've learned from MMA is from Rogan. He's always talking about his shoulder and knee issues and him needing surgeries or stem cell stuff to keep himself in tact and things other fighters deal with. But he's a guy who made that his life, not just a hobby. I've only been interested as a hobby, and I'm not sure what kind of MMA he does and it could also just be many years of wear and tear, I believe he's been doing it for 30+ years.

 

[StormCell]

It's a little touch of mid-life. My mentor told me I hit my mid-life at about 22 when I suddenly knew I just had to have a bass boat and get into the competitive fishing scene. More than a decade later, I'm not looking back. Nothing tastes more like life than bouncing down a lake at a screaming 75-mph tasting the dawn air.

I think the thing that gets me, and I think is especially true for us guys, is we don't really age all that much between 20 and maybe 50. But it sure is a gut check when you realize you might feel like you're in your 20s but you sure don't fit in with that crowd anymore. A man starts to realize he doesn't have enough time to everything that could interest him. You really want to do one or two things to the fullest, I think. No looking back. No regrets. Hammer those things really well and feel proud of who you have become.

For me, I sometimes feel a twinge of sadness when I realize I may feel like a kid still, but I'm anything but.

 

[zeorhymer]

You only have 1 life...there's nothing wrong with trying out different things at least once. You might be surprised what you like and don't like.

 

[EviLore]

Most of what I've learned from MMA is from Rogan. He's always talking about his shoulder and knee issues and him needing surgeries or stem cell stuff to keep himself in tact and things other fighters deal with. But he's a guy who made that his life, not just a hobby. I've only been interested as a hobby, and I'm not sure what kind of MMA he does and it could also just be many years of wear and tear, I believe he's been doing it for 30+ years.

He’s a BJJ black belt and crosstrains striking (originally he had a competitive TKD background).

 

[StormCell]

Most of what I've learned from MMA is from Rogan. He's always talking about his shoulder and knee issues and him needing surgeries or stem cell stuff to keep himself in tact and things other fighters deal with. But he's a guy who made that his life, not just a hobby. I've only been interested as a hobby, and I'm not sure what kind of MMA he does and it could also just be many years of wear and tear, I believe he's been doing it for 30+ years.

Why don't you find yourself a good dojo to join and keep the MMA in the back of your mind as a future goal. Being part of a dojo was one of the best parts of my young life, and if you have the right elders around you, you will find that you can learn more than one style of martial art from the same group. I was fortunate to have a sensei who boxed as well as did judo, so when it was time to spar in match I wasn't just out there replicating karate, I really knew how to go after it.

 

[DragoonKain]

Why don't you find yourself a good dojo to join and keep the MMA in the back of your mind as a future goal. Being part of a dojo was one of the best parts of my young life, and if you have the right elders around you, you will find that you can learn more than one style of martial art from the same group. I was fortunate to have a sensei who boxed as well as did judo, so when it was time to spar in match I wasn't just out there replicating karate, I really knew how to go after it.

A cop friend of mine trained at one, I'm gonna find out where he went. I think Krav Maga might be good a blend of both. It could be useful in real life situations to defend yourself and potentially disarm someone if you need to, but also give you a little bit of that competitive aspect of it with the training.

 

[lock2k]

If BJJ doesn't work out you can always resort to BJ

 

[teezzy]

I FOMO about being a family man with a hot wife. Ultimate end goal.

I've been practicing guitar lately. Keeps my brain working. Chicks dig dudes who can play Smoke on the Water poorly.

 

[triplestation]

FO·MO
/ˈfōmō/

noun
INFORMAL

1. anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.
   
   
   

Fear of missing out

Description
Fear of missing out is described as "a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent". This social anxiety is characterized by "a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing".

 

[Brian Fellows]

Definitely not a problem I have. I hate doing things and stuff.

I was an MMA judge for a few years though. Just amateur shows in Central Illinois but it was fun to get paid to go to shows I'd have paid to get into anyway.

 

[DESTROYA]

Never heard the term but I think a lot of it is brought on by social media, you see all these people doing cool things but in reality non of them are as cool as they seem.
Just do what makes you happy not what you think might make you happy.

 

[godhandiscen]

I FOMO about being a family man with a hot wife. Ultimate end goal.

I've been practicing guitar lately. Keeps my brain working. Chicks dig dudes who can play Smoke on the Water poorly.

This was my fomo too when I was young. Then I realized I didn’t want a family (say goodbye to your hobbies) or someone whose best quality was being good looking, it’s fucking useless.

I don't know if anyone else has even had this happen, but in the last year or so I've started to have this fear of missing out on a bunch of different "cultures" and "scenes" that I never really paid much attention to before.

Traveling has always been one that existed for me for most of my life, but I'm in my mid 30's now and lately it's happening with everything. I was watching something about fine dining the other day and it's something that never piqued my interest in my entire life, but now I think it's something I'd be interest in dabbling in for a time. Going to super high end restaurants and tasting their amazing food. Restaurants where you can only get in with reservations long in advance and the atmosphere is dark and peaceful and elegant.

I was going through my movie collection and saw the movie Sideways and was thinking about how even though I don't even really drink alcohol much at all, wine tasting would be a cool thing to try one day. Just going out into the country with some friends and learning about wine.

I've suddenly wanted to explore MMA too. Not necessarily because it's something I'm interested in a lot, but because I'm worried that I might like it and one day I'll find out I do, but got into it too late when I'm an old man and my body is broken down and I'd have wished I got into it when I was still young enough.

Small stuff too. Like I'll read some internet story about some Youtuber war going on with popular Youtubers and I'm like I never heard of these people, is there a whole Youtube scene or a band/music scene out there that I haven't discovered yet that I'd really love if I put more time into discovering it?

Even sex stuff, I'm not even into BDSM much at all, but now I wonder maybe I would be if I explored that kinda scene that I never bothered exploring. I mean you never know if you don't try.

All this shit I never spent any time caring about, are things I'm now wondering about. I guess no one has the time to explore and try every interest and we have to stick to our interests, but still.

Is this what our peers call a mid life crisis?

It's the internet OP. Programmatic multi-media marketing is designed to instigate these feelings in you because they want to mold you into their target customer base.

"Go travel, sign up for MMA classes, try wine tasting, etc, do something NEW so that we can sell you MORE. "

Have you noticed how everything you mentioned requires you to expand your consumer habits? Do you spend countless hours on youtube/facebook/instagram/tiktok, looking at other people experiencing these things and telling you how great their lives are? They are called "influencers" for a reason.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to experience these things, or yearning to get out of your comfort zone. What is wrong is feeling anxious about it and feeling overwhelmed with doubt about how you have conducted your life up until now. There is probably nothing lacking in your life OP, and perhaps you have already lived more different experiences than most.

The advice in this thread is good, you can't do everything in life, so choose the few things you are confident you want to try, and start with that.
Don't forget to reduce your exposure to whatever media outlets you feel instigate these feelings in you, your mental health is not one of their priorities.

 

[TaySan]

Try not to compare your life to others. It may look exciting on social media, but in reality it's probably not nearly as exciting as they are making it out to be.

Just do whatever in your life at your own pace.

 

[teezzy]

godhandiscen Meh, my hobbies are just there to pass the time at this point. I'm much more intrigued by the idea of carving out my own little slice of American pie. My mistake in the past has been going for 'alternative' chicks in the past. I want someone who has their shit together at this point.

 

[MacReady13]

I don't know if anyone else has even had this happen, but in the last year or so I've started to have this fear of missing out on a bunch of different "cultures" and "scenes" that I never really paid much attention to before.

I'm right there with you my friend.
I'm about 6 weeks away from turning 40 and I am getting the same vibes as you. Have been for a few months now actually. Scared I'm missing out of stuff that I could be experiencing. Having moments where I will just tear up thinking about what could have been in my past and how it has affected my current day life. Maybe it's a midlife crisis. I don't know. Either way I'm struggling a fair bit with it...

 

[Duck In Ur Shirt]

I actually dealt with this recently (past year or 2). In my case, it was simply the result of life-stagnation combined w/ disorganized thoughts and spending too much time in the unnatural world of corporate bullshit (as well as the phantasmagoria of electronic entertainment) instead of spending more time in nature - as we were meant/designed to do.

I realized that I was happiest as a kid, because that's when I'd spent the most time outside in nature looking at/for frogs, toads, turtles, snakes, fish, bugs, plants, etc.

After spending time objectively analyzing my thoughts/feelings (through the concept of mindfulness, not pure psychoanalysis), I realized that I simply needed to organize them and rearrange my priorities. It wasn't easy per say, but focusing upon nutrition and spending more time in/observing nature first-hand was a huge help.

Anyways, you're certainly not alone. What you describe is extremely common from what I've seen, and having the realizations that you're having is the 1st step to sorting it out.

There's a book by Dr. Christopher Ryan called "Civilized to Death" which explores this concept. It came out late last year, and I highly recommend it. The audiobook is pretty good as well - read by the author.

Perhaps check out new philosophies. I recommend Eastern philosophy (like Taoism, although Bruce Lee's version is more interesting imo) because Western philosophy is a fucking bummer for some reason.

 

[rykomatsu]

Going to super high end restaurants and tasting their amazing food. Restaurants where you can only get in with reservations long in advance and the atmosphere is dark and peaceful and elegant.

This is so not true. I've had Michelin 1 & 2 star "experiences" ruined because a table near us drank way too much wine by the 3rd course (out of 15) of the meal. They can be worse than at a rowdy bar because it won't become loud white noise.

But yeah, sounds like you're having a bit of a midlife crisis.

Within the boundaries of what your income allows, be adventurous. There's value in experiencing what others have talked about, but there's also value in going off the beaten path. Always try to find a unique angle that'll pique your interest. Some examples of what I've done:

• Gone on a safari and like everyone else, was in a vehicle most of the time. We found a not-well-known excursion where we needed to hire an armed ranger to hike into a crater
• Needed to replace a screen - everyone does those DIY aluminum kits. I made storm screens out of wood
• Loved swimming so swam in a pool a lot - started swimming monthly in the SF and Monterey Bay (wasn't able to swim from Alcatraz unfortunately, moved before I had the endurance to do so)

I think the reason you get this whole FOMO thing is you hear / watch what others are doing. And truth be told, if you try the same thing, I don't think you'll be satisfied since you already know what to expect. The additional alpha to make whatever you experience your own I think is really the key to be satisfied.

I'm hitting my 40s soon, and I think this mindset has kept me happy. The only thing I'm missing is on the automotive side, but I'll get there some day

 

[chixdiggit]

I seriously cannot recommend Martial Arts enough. I have been doing it my whole life and it's pretty depressing right now with my gym being closed.

 

[Meowzers]

I had a realisation from a vid on YouTube recently that there will come a time in life where someone mentions your name for the last time and you become a person that seems like they never existed.

So do something positive that gets you mentioned throughout the ages. I realise we can't all be be stars, but just having your name and picture mentioned somewhere means that in a way you'll never be forgotten.


Slightly related to OP's topic, but it's all the same.

 

[SKM1]

It's easy for me to get enamored with any subject read about, such as literature, neuroscience, engineering, languages, etc... It's hard to focus on my own career because of that, but I've gotten better at it. The quarantine has helped in that regard.

I also want to start a family down the line. I cannot see myself having no children. But it's going to be though. I'm not renouncing my personal goals.

As for other hobbies, I don't pay much attention. I'm a bassist and know a bit about guitar. Been learning proper scales and such, since they're more prominent there. But it's just a hobby.

 

[Halo is Back]

Don't think I have had this feeling much in life. I can honestly say I have lived more in my childhood to adolescence more than most people. I had a fucking awesome childhood with great friends with some crazy ass stories that we still talk about today.

 

[Dark Star]

I've definitely sacrificed some areas of my life to become better at certain things. I think most people can only be good at a few things, because life is too short to master everything you think is cool or interesting. I stopped hanging out with many friends because I wanted to dedicate my time playing guitar/drums, producing music. That's one example. I do fear that I'm missing out on valuable social interaction sometimes, but I enjoy doing music as a hobby way more. Same thing with reading books, skateboarding, playing video games, etc, etc. Video games I can admit FOMO for sure. I always feel like I'm missing out on the newest AAA games, or the latest consoles, etc. But I'd rather save my money.

I have a lot of hobbies, and I'd rather do all of those things than try to be like other people, chasing materialistic objects, relationships (women), watching sports (football), even traveling abroad. I hardly see the appeal these days. It's just short lived Instagram photo opportunities, crowded beaches, long drives and uncomfortable airports. I still experience FOMO because I want to have stories to tell, I want others to think I'm well-traveled / well adjusted / etc. Everyone wants to fit in, but sometimes finding your own passion/talent/interests is more important for longterm self growth and fulfillment.