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Jeff Baena (husband of Aubrey Plaza) commits suicide

Little Mac

Little Mac

Member
Don't know what to say other than it's a shame. I'm not too familiar with Baena, or his work, but Aubrey's career seems to have been taking off recently. Hopefully she has the emotional support she needs. They've been linked together since 2011 according to this short 3 year old video about Baena's career ...

 
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HeisenbergFX4

HeisenbergFX4

Member
Tiago Rodrigues said:
Jesus christ. We never really know what’s going on inside a person’s head.
Click to expand...
Spot on

Lost a great childhood friend to suicide a few years ago and we had hung out a few weeks before he did it

He seemed totally fine, was in the middle of planning his daughters wedding and called 911 and told them to come find his body on the farm so his family did not find him first then shot himself
 
Brigandier

Brigandier

Member
HeisenbergFX4 said:
Spot on

Lost a great childhood friend to suicide a few years ago and we had hung out a few weeks before he did it

He seemed totally fine, was in the middle of planning his daughters wedding and called 911 and told them to come find his body on the farm so his family did not find him first then shot himself
Click to expand...

Jeez that's awful 😔 RIP to your friend, We never know what is going on in people's minds, Mental Health problems are increasing at a worrying rate worldwide...
 
mitch1971

mitch1971

Member
HeisenbergFX4 said:
Spot on

Lost a great childhood friend to suicide a few years ago and we had hung out a few weeks before he did it

He seemed totally fine, was in the middle of planning his daughters wedding and called 911 and told them to come find his body on the farm so his family did not find him first then shot himself
Click to expand...
My sisters partners friend visited them a few months ago, showing off his new motorbike, letting the kids get on for photos. Had a laugh and joke in the house, talked about his business' future, etc. Week later, killed himself.
 
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Tiago Rodrigues

Tiago Rodrigues

Member
HeisenbergFX4 said:
Spot on

Lost a great childhood friend to suicide a few years ago and we had hung out a few weeks before he did it

He seemed totally fine, was in the middle of planning his daughters wedding and called 911 and told them to come find his body on the farm so his family did not find him first then shot himself
Click to expand...

mitch1971 said:
My sisters partners friend visited them a few months ago, showing off his new motorbike, letting the kids get on for photos. Had a laugh and joke in the house, talked about his business' future, etc. Week later, killed himself.
Click to expand...
This is what's so scary. People seem completely fine. No sign whatsoever sometimes of what's happening and then they are gone. Usually men have a tougher time revealing these things it seems.
 
StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Tiago Rodrigues said:
This is what's so scary. People seem completely fine. No sign whatsoever sometimes of what's happening and then they are gone. Usually men have a tougher time revealing these things it seems.
Click to expand...
I'm no expert on mental illness or suicide or anything, but if someone is committing suicide, it's got to be something either drug related where they dont know what's going on, or something hidden that is so deep they cant face it or get out of it..... terminal illness, is dead broke, sadness from fam dying, feel like a failure/embarrassment etc....

I dont a feeling someone in a good mindset and life is going fine to suddenly wake up one day and commit suicide for fun.

So maybe at some point, details will come out why he committed suicide. Or perhaps he took it to the grave and nobody will find out.

But for any of us, unless you know someone deeply and youre open with each other about stuff (like all my good friends openly talking about their disaster divorces, child custody battles, selling the house etc...), never assume things are going fine. It's no different than social media. I dont think I have ever seen any friend, fam or coworker profile telling the world their issues. At worst, you get some vocal people talking politics or PETA or something, but nothing really critical.

And how do I know this? Because a lot of those buddies I listed above I'm linked in with on FB. And unless you know them personally and not a fringe friend, you'd never know they just got into a messy divorce because no person ever is going to talk about that shit publicly. Some of them still show their pics with their ex like they are still a family. But some I guess get so pissed, they delete any photos of their ex.
 
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S

SidViscous

Member
HeisenbergFX4 said:
Very scary, someone I have known my whole life and didn’t have a clue anything was wrong.

His wife of 20 some years didn’t see it coming
Click to expand...

I used to be very dismissive of depression, like, "just go to Disneyland for a week" or "cheer-up we are on a rock in space, so why do you worry about x" levels of unhelpful.

Then a year or so ago I was hit by a string of stressful events, no fault of my own, that just mentally scared me, I went from being 24/7 chillaxed, to feeling constantly on edge, and it spirals so quickly, can go from having an okay week and having a weekend to look forward to, to having this cold chill run down my body and finding it incredibly hard just to get through the day, just this feeling of constant impending dread and hopelessness, and sometimes you sit back and realise your just not enjoying life anymore due to this, it saps the joy out of everything, so why bother.

I didn't even know it was depression until I was diagnosed, because it didn't fit my mental picture of depression just being people who are boring and have nothing to look forward to. The worst part is when you ignore the dread and have a nice day despite it, you then feel guilty about it, like your ignoring a problem you shouldn't be ignoring, it's so irrational and self-damaging, it's incredibly tough to live with.

don't worry, this isn't a cry for help, I have a good support network, and I've already lost a couple of people due to depression (and yes, in hindsight I feel super guilty for not understanding what they were going through), but it's taught me a couple of things the hard way, depression really isn't rational, and it's not something you have to "let" affect you, you really don't have a choice unfortunately. meds are also pretty shite and barely touch it, so love, compassion and patience are really important.

With celebs I figure they are often emotionally isolated too, like your partner is off filming a movie, and most of the people who you are surrounded by are not your family, or even friends, and probably people using you (agents, etc). Honestly, suffering from depression and being famous must be an incredibly difficult combination. I doubt I'd be here if it wasn't for being surrounded by people who genuinely love me.

I hope this person is at peace.
 
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StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
SidViscous said:
With celebs I figure they are often emotionally isolated too, like your partner is off filming a movie, and most of the people who you are surrounded by are not your family, or even friends, and probably people using you (agents, etc). Honestly, suffering from depression and being famous must be an incredibly difficult combination. I doubt I'd be here if it wasn't for being surrounded by people who genuinely love me.
Click to expand...
Personally, I think a lot celebs die from suicide or accidentally OD'ing because they think they are rich and famous and untouchable. So they can snort coke or take a million pills getting high thinking it cant go wrong. Or its simply the culture of media and partying where boozing and drugs seem the norm. Instead of being a rich and famous guy with a nice house, fam and kick back in their giant backyard with a pool and then driving a sports car never having to worry about anything a normal guy has to worry about (slogging it every morning holding a boring job and paying bills), they risk it all being an addict instead of chilling.

I can understand a down in the dumps guy giving up on life taking drugs to get through the day. But when you got it all, why anyone wants to waste their days being high or passed out on a couch drooling is something I'll never understand. Use that money and flexible work hours and travel and have fun. Heck, his agent or assistant can probably set it all up for him whereas a normal joe has to go through the hassle and research trying to do it themselves for as cheap as possible.

One thing too. They sure got a weird knack of OD'ing in a bathtub drowning. So as weird as it seems, chilling out in a nice bath before bed isnt even enough. It's like they hop into a bathtub and do drugs in the bath and then pass out. Talk about overdoing it.

I can understand pro athletes getting addicted due to major injuries and being put on pain meds where their head, back and limbs are going numb from injuries.

But I think a lot of non-sports celebs just cant say no, or simply think nothing can go wrong. I've been surrounded by friends and school chums back in the day smoking or doing weed or ectasy pills at clubs. One of my university buddies I still know now was even cooking/extracting oils in his rental apartment in university. He and his buddy were figuring out how to do it on the stove. He's still my buddy. Known him for 30 years. Doesn't mean I have to smoke weed or copy him cooking whatever he was doing on my stove. And even now, some people are hard liquor boozing or the guys who at dinner order shots like it's nothing. I know that's not hard core drugs, but just say no or do it in moderation. Just because buddy Bob is one of those guys who can drink beer all night without ever getting drunk doesn't mean I can have to copy the guy. I've never lost a friend due to saying no.
 
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J

JimmyRustler

Member
Tiago Rodrigues said:
Jesus christ. We never really know what’s going on inside a person’s head.
Click to expand...
This. It’s why I always try to be kind to people and don’t blame anyone for mistakes and alike. You never know what dark path someone is going through and I find it sad how few people realize that how one feels is not written on one’s forehead.
 
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Trilobit

Trilobit

Member
SidViscous said:
I used to be very dismissive of depression, like, "just go to Disneyland for a week" or "cheer-up we are on a rock in space, so why do you worry about x" levels of unhelpful.

Then a year or so ago I was hit by a string of stressful events, no fault of my own, that just mentally scared me, I went from being 24/7 chillaxed, to feeling constantly on edge, and it spirals so quickly, can go from having an okay week and having a weekend to look forward to, to having this cold chill run down my body and finding it incredibly hard just to get through the day, just this feeling of constant impending dread and hopelessness, and sometimes you sit back and realise your just not enjoying life anymore due to this, it saps the joy out of everything, so why bother.

I didn't even know it was depression until I was diagnosed, because it didn't fit my mental picture of depression just being people who are boring and have nothing to look forward to. The worst part is when you ignore the dread and have a nice day despite it, you then feel guilty about it, like your ignoring a problem you shouldn't be ignoring, it's so irrational and self-damaging, it's incredibly tough to live with.

don't worry, this isn't a cry for help, I have a good support network, and I've already lost a couple of people due to depression (and yes, in hindsight I feel super guilty for not understanding what they were going through), but it's taught me a couple of things the hard way, depression really isn't rational, and it's not something you have to "let" affect you, you really don't have a choice unfortunately. meds are also pretty shite and barely touch it, so love, compassion and patience are really important.

With celebs I figure they are often emotionally isolated too, like your partner is off filming a movie, and most of the people who you are surrounded by are not your family, or even friends, and probably people using you (agents, etc). Honestly, suffering from depression and being famous must be an incredibly difficult combination. I doubt I'd be here if it wasn't for being surrounded by people who genuinely love me.

I hope this person is at peace.
Click to expand...

I've stopped judging mentally ill people completely. Before I got anxiety attacks in my teens I had no idea something as unpleasant as that existed. Later on I started getting panic attacks which made me wish I only had anxiety again. Same as you I thought depressed people were not just making a strong enough effort to enjoy life and see the good things, that is until I started suffering from it in my 20's and realized it was like trying to enjoy a glass of orange juice after brushing your teeth. I had no idea how anyone could even contemplate suicide until my mental health hit so deep rock bottom that imagining killing myself became my safety valve. Luckily I got good help from the psychiatry and with the help of therapy and medication I've managed to get better even if there are slumps.

So I advice anyone who's feeling unwell to seek out help, because there are things you can't manage on your own. Especially if there's a chemical imbalance in your brain. It's also important to not self-isolate as that will make the problems seem even bigger.

Edit: Also, it's common to be unsure whether you should ask someone you're really worrying about if they are contemplating suicide. I found this and have read similar takes on it from professionals:

5vNVxtW.png

www.seattleu.edu

Suicide Myths & Facts

A page breaking down the common myths and facts of suicide and suicidality. , Learn more about common misconceptions of suicide and the truth behind the misunderstanding.
www.seattleu.edu www.seattleu.edu

I read about a depressed man in my country who was secretly planning it, but his wife got concerned and talked to him and said "you're not going to leave us, are you?" and that made something inside him realize that he shouldn't and he got help.
 
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xrnzaaas

xrnzaaas

Member
Tiago Rodrigues said:
Jesus christ. We never really know what’s going on inside a person’s head.
Click to expand...
Robin Williams was always the extreme case for me. If you didn't follow his private life he seemed like an extremely joyful person based on interviews, standups and movie/tv show appearances. You'd never guess about his addictions, depression and earlier plans to commit suicide.
 
K

kindaGoth

Neo Member
xrnzaaas said:
Robin Williams was always the extreme case for me. If you didn't follow his private life he seemed like an extremely joyful person based on interviews, standups and movie/tv show appearances. You'd never guess about his addictions, depression and earlier plans to commit suicide.
Click to expand...
Agreed, but then in retrospect it seems to make sense that someone dealing with emotional struggles would constantly be trying to lighten the mood. Or it makes sense that there are people out there who are wired to deal with it that way.
 
Insane Metal

Insane Metal

Member
HeisenbergFX4 said:
Spot on

Lost a great childhood friend to suicide a few years ago and we had hung out a few weeks before he did it

He seemed totally fine, was in the middle of planning his daughters wedding and called 911 and told them to come find his body on the farm so his family did not find him first then shot himself
Click to expand...
Holy shit that's horrible man. Sorry for your loss.

@thread, RIP poor man. Hope Aubrey can stay well.
 
HeisenbergFX4

HeisenbergFX4

Member
StreetsofBeige said:
I'm no expert on mental illness or suicide or anything, but if someone is committing suicide, it's got to be something either drug related where they dont know what's going on, or something hidden that is so deep they cant face it or get out of it..... terminal illness, is dead broke, sadness from fam dying, feel like a failure/embarrassment etc....

I dont a feeling someone in a good mindset and life is going fine to suddenly wake up one day and commit suicide for fun.

So maybe at some point, details will come out why he committed suicide. Or perhaps he took it to the grave and nobody will find out.

But for any of us, unless you know someone deeply and youre open with each other about stuff (like all my good friends openly talking about their disaster divorces, child custody battles, selling the house etc...), never assume things are going fine. It's no different than social media. I dont think I have ever seen any friend, fam or coworker profile telling the world their issues. At worst, you get some vocal people talking politics or PETA or something, but nothing really critical.

And how do I know this? Because a lot of those buddies I listed above I'm linked in with on FB. And unless you know them personally and not a fringe friend, you'd never know they just got into a messy divorce because no person ever is going to talk about that shit publicly. Some of them still show their pics with their ex like they are still a family. But some I guess get so pissed, they delete any photos of their ex.
Click to expand...
No one to this day ever had an explanation as to why my friend took his own life

Fact is some are truly fighting demons even when their life seems great, and the rest of the world never knows it
 
StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
xrnzaaas said:
Robin Williams was always the extreme case for me. If you didn't follow his private life he seemed like an extremely joyful person based on interviews, standups and movie/tv show appearances. You'd never guess about his addictions, depression and earlier plans to commit suicide.
Click to expand...
Robin Williams is an extreme case because he's a comedian. And it seems that's one celeb kind of role where it doesn't matter what talk show or interview session they're in. They always got to be on cracking jokes 100% of the time the camera is on them.

But for the most part, most people dont wear the hearts on their sleeves for everyone to see. So even fam and friends might not even know.

HeisenbergFX4 said:
No one to this day ever had an explanation as to why my friend took his own life

Fact is some are truly fighting demons even when their life seems great, and the rest of the world never knows it
Click to expand...
Yup.

You just never know, unless it's someone who is willing to tell. It doesn't even have to be suicidal/depression thoughts. I just found out during Xmas holidays a couple weeks ago one of my sis in laws hasnt been working since the summer. None of us knew except of course their family. And my bro never told us either. But we found out because a bunch of us were all talking about work benefits and expected bonuses comparing for curiosity whose company did better and such, and then we found out she wasnt working for like 6 months. She went on stress leave.

And here we all thought everything was fine and dandy every time I see them for dinner every month or two.

If we didnt have a big fam dinner and nobody was talking work, we still wouldnt know.
 
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NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt

NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt

Biggest Trails Stan
xrnzaaas said:
Robin Williams was always the extreme case for me. If you didn't follow his private life he seemed like an extremely joyful person based on interviews, standups and movie/tv show appearances. You'd never guess about his addictions, depression and earlier plans to commit suicide.
Click to expand...

He's always had sad eyes..
 
Redneckerz

Redneckerz

Those long posts don't cover that red neck boy
hyperbertha said:
Usually this happens when the husband learns the wife has been cheating on him for years. With multiple men.
Click to expand...
With 4.000 posts and 4.5 years of activity you ought to know better, but here we are. The kind of remark ushered by someone who obviously never has dealt with suicide or mental health issues prior. *

* See what i did? I made a gross assumption. The exact same thing you just did.

I hope you atleast have the gall to address the criticism since, you know, you have 4.000 posts and 4.5 years of activity and you are ought to know better.

We are just 5 days into this year and we already have such a tomfoolery.
 
Kings Field

Kings Field

Member
As someone who sometimes deals with patients with mental health issues, there is help out there. Unfortunately sometimes it is buried away and not easy to access.

We NEED to start taking mental health more seriously in this country and even the world. It's a disease just as much as hypertension, diabetes, or even cancer but it is not taken seriously.

I want the world to take mental health as serious as they take someone who is too lazy or not disciplined enough to maintain a diet to lose weight and glamorize injections.

We need a societal and cultural change.
 
Quasicat

Quasicat

Member
I took a class on suicide prevention and awareness a few years ago when we had two students (in two totally unrelated circumstances) take their lives. The saddest part about this is that a lot of the times it is not given much planning. In fact, statistically the decision and plan to do it are literally measured in hours and not days or weeks.
 
TerribleAtThisGame

TerribleAtThisGame

Member
HeisenbergFX4 said:
No one to this day ever had an explanation as to why my friend took his own life

Fact is some are truly fighting demons even when their life seems great, and the rest of the world never knows it
Click to expand...
Very similar experience with a good friend I hung out with, and made plans with for next week, barely nine hours prior to him offing himself with a shotgun. No note, nobody knows anything to this day. Absolutely shocked my whole friend circle to the core and there's barely a week where I don't think about it. I've experienced two others but not this close and seemingly baffling and imo there's nothing more devastating than a suicide. I can't fathom the pain of a spouse/partner or, worse, a child choosing that and having to live with it.
 
hyperbertha

hyperbertha

Member
Redneckerz said:
With 4.000 posts and 4.5 years of activity you ought to know better, but here we are. The kind of remark ushered by someone who obviously never has dealt with suicide or mental health issues prior. *

* See what i did? I made a gross assumption. The exact same thing you just did.

I hope you atleast have the gall to address the criticism since, you know, you have 4.000 posts and 4.5 years of activity and you are ought to know better.

We are just 5 days into this year and we already have such a tomfoolery.
Click to expand...
Is it known that this guy was suffering from clinical depression? If not why are everyone suddenly assuming that's the reason?
 
Northeastmonk

Northeastmonk

Gold Member
During my junior year of high school, a kid I knew ended it with a shotgun. The whole thing was treated very poorly if you ask me. The principal of the juniors went to each classroom and told us that he had killed himself. I don’t know why he did it, but the school eventually made a program to help kids with ADHD. I still visit his memorial page online from time to time. I actually spoke to him on the phone a couple weeks before he did it. We both had been suspended from school for something stupid. He sounded fine. I was surprised to hear he had did it. I remember going to his funeral and sitting on the floor. There were two buildings, one was the church and the other was an overflow room with TV projectors. Sometime later we all met up at a parking lot and they were passing around his school photo. It was sad.

I hope his family and friends are holding it together.
 
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