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Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me

S

StarCreator

Member
Echoing that you should absolutely tell the other guy about what's up.

Does your sister have chat logs? Start documenting if you haven't been already.
 
S

shaneo632

Member
Only sensible thing to do is confront this ASAP, and it'll almost certainly result in you dumping her I assume.

Condolences OP. Get your drinking buddies ready for a weekend of soul-searching and tears.

EDIT: Also as others have said this doesn't seem like the other guy's fault so he deserves a heads up as much as anyone would.
 
F

feel

Member
I even saw the app once on her phone a few months back and when asked she said she made some friends on it before meeting me and she still talks to them on it. I thought that was OK.
Click to expand...
WOW you don’t play around when it comes to this trusting thing.
 
T

The Albatross

Member
Sucks man. Cut her loose. But still sucks.
Drop her like a dime though, do not stick around.
Even if she says she's sorry, she'll never do it again, it was a misunderstanding, he's a jerk, they're not together, he's lying, etc., etc., etc.....

Dump her. No matter what.
 
C

Canucked

Member
No one needs to keep a dating app to talk to friends. There are a million ways to connect without using a dating app. I know people who use that excuse, and they are shady daters.

She was doing you wrong.
 
S

Sohter.Nura

Member
Keep hitting it, start hitting the gym, install dating app.

That's what I'd do :I

EDIT: When she asks you about it say you've met a couple of friends on it before and wants to keep in touch :)
 
I

I Wanna Be The Guy

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Cry about it in front of your friends. Don't talk to her for several weeks then talk it over and get back together. Then wait for her to cheat on you again, cry some more and end it for good. That's what I did.
 
D

DudeWithNoName

Member
Echoing what others have said. Let the other guy know. You are both victims of this woman. I'm really sorry this happened, keep your head up.
 
T

Truant

Member
My experience, and I say this as someone who has cheated on someone, is that there is no way back from this. Sure, you can forgive her, and maybe she never does it again. Who knows? But the doubt will always be there, and this thing will hang over your relationship like a dark cloud. Even if you can live with it, chances are she's eventually freak out over it and sabotage the relationship.

My best advice would be to tell her what you know, and end it peacefully. Best of luck.
 
L

LegendofDragoonLives

Member
- as Bill Burr says, she's not the mother of your kids
- don't accept the hot lies, it's over. This is what you know, imagine that it can be much worse
- talk to your real life friends over beer
- #hitTheGym
- try not be the opposite of what you are, trusting, because your ex is a horrible human being
- you can tell the guy if you want, up to you
- keep the convo with her short, simple, and don't tell at her. It's over, no point for more drama
- find things to keep busy for a while to take your mind off things
- sorry to hear obviously

feel said:
WOW you don't play around when it comes to this trusting thing.
Click to expand...

yeah there's trusting and completely naive lol
 
A

Akuun

Looking for meaning in GAF
That sucks man. Confront and then dump, I guess. Let the other guy know, too. If she was fishing like this to you and him, there's no telling if she's doing that to others, too.

SatoAilDarko said:
Be glad your sister was really smart and had your back.
Click to expand...
Seriously. Your sister's quick thinking saved your ass. Do something nice for her.
 
F

Fallout-NL

Member
kittoo said:
I even saw the app once on her phone a few months back and when asked she said she made some friends on it before meeting me and she still talks to them on it.
Click to expand...


Buuuuullshit. She's a cheater. Dump her and move on. Sever all ties. Cease all contact. You're done with her.

Also, my sympathies, I know from experience how much that shit stings. But you'll get over it.
 
LordKasual

LordKasual

Banned
Wow. Rage inducing.

This is worse than cheating. She's literally full-on dating another guy while she's dating you

No idea what i'd do in your shoes. Good luck homie :V
 
B

B.O.O.M

Member
Your sis is a champ.

Sorry you went through this man. I know the feeling very well. But, you have cut her off and move on, ASAP. It will be hard, and she will try to drag it on etc but just don't. Dragging it on would be a big mistake imho
 
Z

zeemumu

Member
KarmaCow said:
Nah, if you're at the point where you want them to burn, it's best to just move on. Don't get dragged further into it if you don't care about the relationship.
Click to expand...

If the other guy doesn't know, you don't think he should probably be warned that his girlfriend is cheating on him because she's dating you too?
 
M

matt05891

Member
Sorry brother this happened to me this summer in a 2 1/2 year relationship; marriage talk and kid planning talk yada yada and it really was the worst feeling I have felt (like a knife in the back) and I will echo the sentiments here... drop her asap; cut contact.

You don't want someone in your life or even put effort toward keeping them in yours if they treat you like this. Fuck her. Find a new one. She doesn't deserve shit from you and you need to find that within yourself to truly know that she feels that little about you to do that and you need to return the sentiment back (mentally at the very least).


PRBoricua said:
I know you think you will "get over it", but you never will, it will haunt you all the time if you choose to try to work it out, whether she takes five minutes too long at the store, every time her phone goes off, or if it doesn't go off at all because she keeps it on silent, everything she does will bother you. Don't bother.
Click to expand...
This.
 
S

Sho_Nuff82

Member
As someone who just entered a steady relationship after being on the apps for years - that shit is addictive. It's actually kinda hard to quit cold Turkey.

Had she met this guy while you were still early on, I could almost understand it. But 1.5 years later...she's stepping out.

Sucks man. It is possible the dude is exaggerating about how serious they were, but multiple dates means this is a fling in the making.

Fallout-NL said:
Buuuuullshit. She's a cheater. Dump her and move on. Sever all ties. Cease all contact. You're done with her.

Also, my sympathies, I know from experience how much that shit stings. But you'll get over it.
Click to expand...

And yeah, anyone I actually made friends with on Tinder or Bumble, I talk to directly by phone, WhatsApp, FB, or IG. You only need the app to make *new* friends.
 
PRBoricua

PRBoricua

Member
Well, now it makes sense why she liked your being so trusting. It's because it allowed her to do stuff like this without fear of reprisal.

The dating app still being on the phone was a huge red flag.

I know you think you will "get over it", but you never will, it will haunt you all the time if you choose to try to work it out, whether she takes five minutes too long at the store, every time her phone goes off, or if it doesn't go off at all because she keeps it on silent, everything she does will bother you. Don't bother.

This is who she is, I'd wager a guess that she's done this in every serious relationship she's been involved in (age depending, you guys could be relatively young).

She will not change.

You can do better. A lot better.
 
E

Enduin

No bald cap? Lies!
Tell her to "Say 'Hi' to (other guy's name here) for me." And immediately cut off all contact.

Also do it through the dating app she's still using to stay connected with "friends." Face to face ain't shit if you can avoid it. She doesn't deserve the opportunity to "explain" herself.

And have your sister tell the other guy if she's willing, he probably is innocent in all this too and deserves to know but you don't need to and shouldn't get involved with him directly.
 
Hexa

Hexa

Member
If I understand this correctly, this is all based on what a Facebook friend that your sister doesn't even know that well said, right? Are you sure that this person can be trusted and is not just screwing with you for the hell of it? I think you should definitely confront your gf about this, but shouldn't immediately go to the revenge thing yet.
 
S

SRG01

Member
Went through the same thing -- caught the ex on a dating site when we were still together, and on the same account as the one we met on, no less.

First time I believed her. Second time, I knew it was over and just a matter of breaking things cleanly.

Then again, I knew she wasn't faithful in the relationship already even excluding the above incidents, so I'm not sure whether I was delusional or just incredibly forgiving.
 
C

Cesare Borgia

Banned
Break up with her. And no, it doesn't have to be face to face. Just text her you know she's with someone else, good luck with that shit, and block her number.
 
A

Angelus Errare

Banned
Sorry to hear, the double combo of emotional and physical cheating is heart rending. Your best bet is to confront her over it and end it. I'd personally advise against forgiving and trying again but I'm saying that as someone with no emotional connection to this woman, so ultimately that choice is up to you.

It hurts and will hurt for a while, but don't let it consume you or dictate your future actions because you'll only be hurting yourself, also don't try to "make her jealous" or make your life revolve around that singular idea (this idea WILL form in your mind at some point).

Find a creative outlet/hobby to get your mind off of her and dive into it (I say this in lieu of work because that can be pretty destructive). It gets better.

I'll leave you with this gif.
giphy.gif
 
H

Heckler456

Banned
matt05891 said:
Sorry brother this happened to me this summer in a 2 1/2 year relationship; marriage talk and kid planning talk yada yada and it really was the worst feeling I have felt (like a knife in the back) and I will echo the sentiments here... drop her asap; cut contact.

You don't want someone in your life or even put effort toward keeping them in yours if they treat you like this. Fuck her. Find a new one. She doesn't deserve shit from you and you need to find that within yourself to truly know that she feels that little about you to do that and you need to return the sentiment back (mentally at the very least).
Click to expand...

Man, how do you prevent running into shit like this? I have massive trust issues that I don't think I'll ever be able to resolve. I really want to have kids at some point, but I don't think I'll ever be able to trust anyone enough to be able to commit to a marriage. I mean, presumably you were able to trust your wife up until the fatal point, right?
 
T

Triggerhappytel

Member
Sorry man; this shit is always rough. Talk to her and see what she has to say about it, but it's over dude. Try to be strong and move on. Also let the other guy know and hopefully he'll dump her too so she'll be left with no-one. Seems weird he would even mention marriage when it sounds like they're a handful of weeks in and haven't met too many times.
 
Jag

Jag

Member
Dump her. It sucks man. Sorry to hear it.

She may try to talk her way out. She may say that she is confused, scared, unsure of the final commitment.

She may say a ton of shit that will confuse you. Do not let her talk you out of breaking up. You don't realize it now, but you want her to talk you out of it and you need to go in strong. Most likely you will be shocked by whatever her response is. Remember, you don't owe her the chance to explain. All you are doing is getting her out of your life.
 
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