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Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me
- Thread starter kittoo
- Start date
Earthbound64
Banned
More flies keep flying into the light.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Can't believe this thread is still going. Boy does GAF love a relationship Drama!
The conversation stopped being about the OP's relationship at least 3 pages ago.
Night.Ninja
Banned
I get what this guy was saying before he got banned.
And we all know OP "girlfriend" was doing him dirty keeping her options open. When you are supposed to be in a committed relationship that's kinda shit don't run.
And we all know OP "girlfriend" was doing him dirty keeping her options open. When you are supposed to be in a committed relationship that's kinda shit don't run.
Earthbound64
Banned
Night.Ninja
One really creepy thing I do is just repeatedly shit on GAF while sarcastically calling it a "top tier gaming forum" so feel free to report me if I keep doing this.
Same here.
The majority of people I know aren't cool with their S.O. hanging out solo with members of opposite sex, and it's mutual. Of course some I do know are okay with it. Doesn't make one couple any more/less happy than the other.
And I understand it from both sides. Nothing to get angry over.
People are different, but a lot of folks
on GAF
Earthbound64
Banned
Nah mate. Most of my partner's best friends are male and it's just not an issue. People are weird.
i too hate it when people have reasons to disagree with me and explain them
Spikematic
Member
Holy crap, 24 pages! Where's Lionel Mandrake when you need him?
Earthbound64
Banned
No, only 12.
#superior100postperpageGAF
your heart seems in the right place but youre coming off as really abrasive. Im not sure what discussion youre trying to have here, but regardless of the motivation behind why people have these rules in a relationship I was simply saying it wasnt an uncommon viewpoint.
its all anecdotal and relative to your life, culture, and social circles, but the fact of the matter remains that this is not an uncommon viewpoint in peoples relationships.
Earthbound64
Banned
I spent enough time in an abusive, controlling relationship to know that not only is it not normal, but that it's extremely destructive.
Edit: I guess you edited more in while I was replying.
Fenderputty
Banned
thisisneogaf.gif
Purity tests are extending out into the realm of judging relationships it seems.
Ive been in a similar relationship, and Im pretty sure I said I disagree with the practice, so trust when I say I know from firsthand experience how destructive it can be.
Piston Hyundai
Member
Infidelity MEGATHREAD
Fenderputty
Banned
Are all relationships abusive if the parties involved don't want the other going out with members of the opposite sex?
BlackGoku03
Member
Apparently they are and don't pass the purity sniff test.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
Your SO going out with members of the opposite sex is fine in general. When those members of the opposite sex want more than friendship with your SO, its an entirely different story.
One thing is to disagree. It's another thing to talk down/look down on someone else for their opposing viewpoint.
perfectchaos007
Member
So I guess I'll check back after October 23rd
Mango Positive
Member
I would never hang out with my friends of the opposite sex without my wife or some other group setting. She would never do it either, though she doesn't really have any male friends that aren't either my friends, or married to her friends.
We haven't forbidden it . We haven't even discussed it at all in the 17 years we've been together. Because it's the norm in the city of Atlanta, amongst 30 to 50 year old married folk, which I guess is all I can speak to. I do think it's weird how angry that concept makes some of you.
We haven't forbidden it . We haven't even discussed it at all in the 17 years we've been together. Because it's the norm in the city of Atlanta, amongst 30 to 50 year old married folk, which I guess is all I can speak to. I do think it's weird how angry that concept makes some of you.
It's just really weird that if you were invited to hang out with a friend, you would say no because your wife isn't available even if you were free.
Fried Food
Banned
Hide in the woods for 10 years
Yes, this is where my wife and I stand, as well. I don't want to say that this is "normal", but in my social circle, that's just how it is done. We don't spend time hanging out socially one-on-one with opposite sex non-family members. Maybe other places and other people's social circles are different but my experience pretty much mirrors yours. I too am surprised at the anger for this.
Sickness702
Member
Nice to see so many people looking after me/updates
I am here only guys just that there hasnt been much update since she went to her hometown for Diwali and we havent talked much since. She just said she understood that she was in the wrong to keep the app for so long after us being together. Still says she was only keeping it for friends.
Nevertheless, I put a detailed talk on hold since she is with her extended family at her hometown. Next substantial (and hopefully final) update will take 1 or 2 weeks. Till then, I will be playing The Evil Within 2
Oh and thanks for the suggestion guys but I anyway do hit gym 4 times a week. Did the same today too. Feels good
Her: I am with my family for Diwali, babe
Fenderputty
Banned
I see several more "abusers" have posted in this thread ...
Sickness702
Member
I think the big difference is that your female friends are pre-existing female friends and not female friends you found on a dating site and met behind your girls back.
Fenderputty
Banned
I'm sarcastically poking holes in the purity bullshit. Unless you want to label every relationship "abusive", there needs to be some nuance when discussing relationships that operate on more traditional standards. Since my initial comment asking for clarification, two more people have posted who operate on more traditional standards.
Mango Positive
Member
They wouldn't invite me to hang out because they know I'm married (and it's the norm). We'd see each other at a party or a concert and we talk on Facebook. That's enough.
Our definition of friendship is different then, what you just described sounds more like an acquaintance to me.
My sarcasm meter is not working. Its monday though so forgive me
I am sort of in the same boat. Me and my GF do hang out with a few people of the opposite sex, but it's only friends that we both have met and "approved" in a way. It is NOT normal for us to meet or keep in touch with acquaintances from dating Apps. We live in Brazil.
I'm fairly confident my wife would flip her shit if she found that I'd been chatting up women on Tinder and meeting with them without telling her. I don't think that's unhealthy.
I think it's pretty common for people in committed relationships not to seek out and maintain new relationships with members of the opposite sex via dating apps.
I also think it's pretty common for people in committed relationships to have friends of the opposite sex. Whether or not that's the norm is entirely dependent on the culture.
I think it's pretty common for people in committed relationships not to seek out and maintain new relationships with members of the opposite sex via dating apps.
I also think it's pretty common for people in committed relationships to have friends of the opposite sex. Whether or not that's the norm is entirely dependent on the culture.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
I mean, he could be Mike Pence?
On topic, my wife has more guy friends than women friends. She worked political campaigns a lot and just in general gets along with guys better. Initially, when we first started dating I found it odd and curious, but after getting to know my now wife and her friends, there's not even a second thought about it. I trust my wife 100%, and know she'd never do anything to hurt me. Also, on the flipside, she'd never care if I grabbed drinks with a female friend. If you don't have a level of trust in your relationship that allows you to have a drink with a member of the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your situation), then you need to really look deep at your relationship.
The dating app thing is the only part that makes it weird and iffy.
Crazyorloco
Member
I think it's okay to hang out with people that are of opposite sex when you're in a relationship especially when it's in groups. It's going to happen, people work/go to school with people and they go out to eat. It happens...
But...if I feel uncomfortable about a person (like it looks like the OP was) I hope that my partner respects my feelings and our relationship to end communication with that individual.
I remember when I was in a relationship i would feel uncomfortable about having dinner with a pretty coworker. I knew I wouldn't do anything, but I know that if I were my gf I wouldn't want to hear my bf going out with someone.
But...if I feel uncomfortable about a person (like it looks like the OP was) I hope that my partner respects my feelings and our relationship to end communication with that individual.
I remember when I was in a relationship i would feel uncomfortable about having dinner with a pretty coworker. I knew I wouldn't do anything, but I know that if I were my gf I wouldn't want to hear my bf going out with someone.
Death Metalist
Member
wrong thread
I mean, it's pretty common for twenty-somethings to have opposite sex close friends that are single...
But after 5-10 years of marriage, either the husband\wife has befriended said close friend too, or said close friend is also married.
Also 1-on-1 encounters among friends get a lot sparser after 30s and marriages, so...
It is pretty strange for a certain group of people (30+ married) and pretty normal for another group (20-30 unmarried)
And as always, it's about boundaries. Talk that shit out with your partner and find what flies for you.
However, people who don't want their SO in any social gathering without them are possessive\jealous\insecure\whatever and should check that shit.
But after 5-10 years of marriage, either the husband\wife has befriended said close friend too, or said close friend is also married.
Also 1-on-1 encounters among friends get a lot sparser after 30s and marriages, so...
It is pretty strange for a certain group of people (30+ married) and pretty normal for another group (20-30 unmarried)
And as always, it's about boundaries. Talk that shit out with your partner and find what flies for you.
However, people who don't want their SO in any social gathering without them are possessive\jealous\insecure\whatever and should check that shit.
I don't think it's that you can't have friends with the opposite sex. But how much time you spend with them in comparison to you SO would maybe raise a problem. If my GF asked me to have dinner and I said nah I'm gonna go for drinks with Jeaneane tonight, that'd raise some alarms and put me in the dog house. I don't know how that's a foreign concept for some people
BlackGoku03
Member
^^
That's a good point about age groups. I think you're right on that one, Aureon. But like the example below, there are potential issues and boundaries that get pushed when one person from the couple likes to exclusively hang out with a friend and the other half of the couple isn't invited.
That makes you insecure according to a lot of folks here. Better check that.
That's a good point about age groups. I think you're right on that one, Aureon. But like the example below, there are potential issues and boundaries that get pushed when one person from the couple likes to exclusively hang out with a friend and the other half of the couple isn't invited.
That makes you insecure according to a lot of folks here. Better check that.
+1 Aureon's post. Your lifestyle and the lifestyle of your peers shifts boundaries one way or another.
Yeah, if you're blowing off your partner constantly to spend time one on one with a friend, there's obviously an issue with that. I don't think anyone here is claiming otherwise.
Yeah, if you're blowing off your partner constantly to spend time one on one with a friend, there's obviously an issue with that. I don't think anyone here is claiming otherwise.
Eh, it's really not that interesting a thread