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[demon]

So I had me some jack's an coke tonight. Why? I probably wouldn't have, but I was planning on calling this gilr and, being the somewhat shy and rather unexperienced-with-girls person I am, I was a bit too nervous to (she suggested us getting together to go to or rent a movie this week). So I was getting sick of of being to nervous to call her, so I had some a bit to drink. Aaaand, I had some more. So I finally was loosented up enough to call her, but there was no answer.

Anyway, do you think this is a good thing to do? I mean obviously people drink alcohol to loosen up and whatnot, but for a kind of shy and somewhat socially anxious person like me, is it a good thing to always rely on alcohol to feel less inhibited? I mean, I doit once in a while, but I I don't want to have to rely on it all the time for this kind of stupid crap.


anyways, to end the drunkn post, a random image googled up from "jacks and coke"

he looks like he wants a littel.

 

[Seth C]

Unhealthy.

 

[demon]

no i'm quite healthy thank you

 

[aoi tsuki]

Very unhealthy. First, relying on alcohol to do anything isn't a good habit to get into. Secondly, you're always drunker than you think you are, and she'll pick up on that. Most girls don't want drunks.

What part of talking to her and asking her out makes you nervous?

 

[Dice]

It's not good. You want her to like the drunk you or sober you? It's better to tough it out and get through your anxieties. There isn't really a cheap way around it, you just have to keep at it until you get used to it. Building good social confidence is always a slow and trying process. I recommend just getting more practice in no-risk things, especially in making female friends if you don't have that many.

If you try to make friends with someone and it doesn't catch on, you have nothing to lose because you weren't friends anyway. So making friends where romantic hopes aren't involved is good social practice that can help you be more confident when the pressure is on. Plus usually a drunk person doesn't pick up on how drunk they are nearly as much as a sober person does, so you certainly wouldn't want to accidentally drink just a tad too much that she would notice. Right?

Now pursing girls as friends is a bit difficult to do without giving the wrong impression, and even if you do there could still be a bit of drama or feelings that develop after you have been friends for awhile. But ultimately the benefits not only in your own boosted social confidence but the female-perspective advice and encouragement they provide when you are pursing a girl romantically outweigh the risks of a friendship getting complicated with romantic inclinations.

Do you have any sisters? I've always kind of wondered if having sisters growing up gave me understanding that makes it easier for me to relate to girls and make them feel comfortable.

 

[demon]

What part of talking to her and asking her out makes you nervous?

God, long story. So many nuances of the situation that make make it kind awkward and make me kinda nervous about it that I won't bother getting into.

Besides, I do have pretty good control over myself when I'm "drunk", although I wouldn't say I'm quite drunk now. Please, she drinks, and a little over a week ago she called me up drunk, and told her later on that iwas drunk at the time, and she laughed. so it's all good.

 

[Cooter]

Nothing wrong with it but don't rely on it. That is how alcoholics are born.

 

[aoi tsuki]

God, long story. So many nuances of the situation that make make it kind awkward and make me kinda nervous about it that I won't bother getting into.

Besides, I do have pretty good control over myself when I'm "drunk", although I wouldn't say I'm quite drunk now. Please, she drinks, and a little over a week ago she called me up drunk, and told her later on that iwas drunk at the time, and she laughed. so it's all good.

If your "pretty good control" is shown by your spelling, then i can tell you've had a few.

i say this from experience: Drunken phone conversations with a girl can lead to trouble down the road. One person might say more than they really wanted or needed to say, the other takes it to heart, and pretty soon there's hurt feelings because of the conflict. Tread lightly.

 

[Dice]

God, long story. So many nuances of the situation that make make it kind awkward and make me kinda nervous about it that I won't bother getting into.

This reminds me, girls like to feel special, like they are more important than other things going on. That includes any weird things that make the whole situation a bit awkward. If you just put those things out of your mind, act as though you really don't care about those things because you know what you want and that is to get to know her better, she will definitely pick up on the fact you are deciding that she is more important than those things and feel special.

People always say girls like confidence, but it's not so much the confidence they like as it is the confidence in your decision to pursue them rather than other things. If a guy is confident in his approach but his interests are divided between her and other things and/or girls, she'll think he is a jerk and won't like him. It's really more about your focus and certainty in her, that you really do think she is special and worth pursuing over other things/girls and that it shows in your actions. This is another reason needing to be drunk to talk to her is not good.

So the less you worry about things that could possibly complicate it, the less likely they are to actually be a complication. If she knows she's more important than whatever faults, complications or awkwardness of situation there may be, she'll easily disregard them and consider you more important as you do her.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

If you really find it akward, just handle it and ask her round sober, then have a few drinks together before you show her your penis for the very first time. Cause lord knows, thats make or break.