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Laws of Japanese Animation

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Bishman

Member
25 Laws of Japanese Animation

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity: The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differentiated Gravitation: Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification: In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion: In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion: The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability: Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality: 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality: It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis: Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10 - Law of Dramatic Multiplicity: Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks a 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11 - Law of Inherent Combustibility: Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary: Anything that explodes bulges first.

#12 - Law of Photostatic Emission: Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13 - Law of Energetic Emission: There is always an energy build up
(commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14 - Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude:
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversely proportional its size.


#15 - Law of Inexhaustibility: No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is, of course, unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16 - Law of Inverse Accuracy: The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect.) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary: The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary: Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary: Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

#17 - Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability: Minmei is a bimbo.

#18 - Law of Hemoglobin Capacity: The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood. Sometimes more.

#19 - Law of Demonic Consistency: Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt bladed weapons.

#20 - Law of Militaristic Unreliability: Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

#21 - Law of Tactical Unreliability: Tactical geniuses aren't....

#22 - Law of Inconsequential Undetectability: People never notice the little things.... Like a missing body part, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23 - Law of Juvenile Intellectuality: Children are smarter than adults ... and almost always twice as annoying.

#24 - Law of Antagonistic Americanthropomorphism: The really nasty 'Bad
Guys' are always skinny Americans.

#25 - Law of Americanthropomorphistic Intellectual Inferiority: The stupid 'Good Guys' are always big Americans.

First Corollary: The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)

Second Corollary: The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

Read this in a friend's lj. It's so true. :)
 

Loki

Count of Concision
Third Corollary: Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

:lol
 

Loki

Count of Concision
#24 - Law of Antagonistic Americanthropomorphism: The really nasty 'Bad
Guys' are always skinny Americans.

#25 - Law of Americanthropomorphistic Intellectual Inferiority: The stupid 'Good Guys' are always big Americans.

Aren't these truisms in life in general? ;) :p I'm American, so I'm allowed to say that. :D


Hell, I know I'm a good guy-- and I'm certainly a "stupid, big American". :p
 

nitewulf

Member
First Law of Temporal Mortality: 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

lol.gif
 

Scrow

Still Tagged Accordingly
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality: 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
my favourite
 

Loki

Count of Concision
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality: 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

:lol

I had skipped over that one for some reason; that's definitely the funniest one imo also.
 

Gattsu25

Banned
belgurdo said:
In Anime World, all people under 17 years of age (who have never driven a car) knows how to operate these with the precision of a seasoned pilot, though they do it reluctantly with oft bitching and angst


FIXED
 

belgurdo

Banned
Eric-GCA said:
Has anyone made a "Laws of Hentai" list yet? :D

Let's start.

1. All the girls want it. Even when they're screeching, crying, moaning, "please stop," and attacking you while in the act of copulation, that all really means that they want it harder
 

Gattsu25

Banned
Eric-GCA said:
Has anyone made a "Laws of Hentai" list yet? :D


ugh...I imagine "All girls eventually get raped by A) several men B) blob monsters with phallic tounges" would be #1 on that list :(

I weep for humanity
 
belgurdo said:
In Anime World, all people under 17 years of age knows how to operate these with the precision of a seasoned pilot

boss.gif

That's a mix of #28

#28 Law of Technological User-Benevolence

(from U. Williams)

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

and #42

#42 Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

(from Erin Alia)

Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
 

Dead

well not really...yet
eggplant said:
Gunbuster/Top o Nerae tried pretty hard to be accurate, at least with the high speed travel/aging and other aspects.
why the hell is this not on DVD yet damnit
 
DeadStar said:
why the hell is this not on DVD yet damnit

Are these the same? Gosh that OVA rocked. First anime experience when I was like 11.

http://www.americanesuperstore.com/d0008.html
http://www.discountanimedvd.com/product_list_category_dvd.asp?cate=63&alpha=g

It looks like they are making a Gunbuster 2:

"While Gunbuster's final mission destroyed the space monsters' star system, the intergalactic war still continues. Earth's only hope lies in the hands of "TOPLESS", an elite mecha group with children possessing supernatural powers and new Buster Machines. Among their ranks is a rookie named Nono and the ace pilot Raruku - whom Nono looks at as a "big sister." Together with their teammates Nichola and Tykho, they must aim for the top and protect all of mankind from the wrath of the space monsters."

trailer: mms://wmt-od.stream.ne.jp/bandaiv/movies/top2/wmp/top2_tokuhou_high.wmv

-That summary and trailer doesn't sound too encouraging. It looks like too much of a deviation from the original OVA.

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=3920
 

Jim Bowie

Member
Laws of Hentai

#2: Temporary Genital Transparency Postulate

Whenever the leading male (or males) penetrate the female, the male reproductive organ fades into nothingness; however, the genitals are still in full effect, allowing the female to continue to be pumped until the enivitable ejactulation upon the buttocks and/or facial areas.
 

Dead

well not really...yet
eggplant said:
those are bootlegs, there hasnt been an official release on DVD yet. I believe theres a new remaster of gunbuster thats out in japan, hopefully that will make its way over here. It doesnt make sense for something like Gunbuster to be completely neglected on DVD so far
 

DCharlie

And even i am moderately surprised
"You mean the vast, vast, VAST majority of anime."

Is this the vast majority of anime released EVER in Japan we are talking about here?
 
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