So if you and your partner gets turned on by catcalling one another in public, you are sexually frustrated, according to this "flow chart". Seems a bit...judgemental.
Let's talk about catcalling
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So if you and your partner gets turned on by catcalling one another in public, you are sexually frustrated, according to this "flow chart". Seems a bit...judgemental.
The awful truth, I think, is that most people who do this perfectly understand what they're doing is harassment, they just don't care about the victim enough to change their behavior. You can't honestly tell me that the majority of people who do this shit are stupid enough that they're completely unaware that the person on the receiving end of the 'catcalling' and harassment is uncomfortable with them.
Again, it's about power. If the 'victim' ever tries to speak up or fight back against it, instead of 'oh, I'm sorry, I didn't understand that you felt uncomfortable so I'll stop' you'll get 'well fuck you, bitch!' instead because the victim dared question their authority, from the sorts of people that do this. If they really cared about the other person, they would stop what they were doing instead of lash out and tell them they deserve to get raped or some awful shit like that, which is what you'll hear more often than a sincere apology or stopping.
Read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy. You're lacking it.
It's sexual objectification. Here's that video that's making the rounds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IbXumE0xrg. Do you honestly believe her angry revenge at the end was unjustified?
Imagine being a woman, living in a city, and getting that kind of stuff thrown at you ever single day by some mouth breather perverts. Constantly being judged on how you look. If you're sexually appealing or not. Knowing you're being looked at that way all the time, by people not respecting you enough as a person to bother hiding it, who are happy to shout at you as if you're just an inanimate object. Knowing that, to them, you're an object to lust after, not a person who has a right to just be themselves, to just walk along without anyone thinking about their genitals, to have the right to feel shitty or happy or whatever they want. To be a real human. But shitheads like that exist, and there are a lot of them.
It's invasive, it's perverted. It's enough to make anyone feel paranoid if they're experiencing it long enough.
Allgamer, have you ever catcalled someone?
I'm not so sure about that. As the poster you quoted put it, this guys want tits pics in exchange for their dicks pics.
I don't think it'd be too much too assume that many of them think that they'd like to be catcalled (or dogcalled, or bearcalled, or wtv) and therefore "women must enjoy it too".
ClosingADoor
Member
This depends. It can be very uncomfortable for the other to get a random compliment about her appearance in the middle of the street while just minding her own business. If the only thing you are going to do is talking about her looks, then ask yourself: why am I doing this?
If it is part of a conversation you are striking up already, it is fine, but with compliments I think it is always better to just compliment a specific things like clothing, shoes, etc, instead of just looks.
But just telling a random stranger: you are pretty, is plain awkward and stupid.
Prime crotch
Banned
Guys don't want titpics in exchange for dicpicks, it's all for exhibitionism, it's a rush for some people.
Honestly, I think this is somewhat true.
I have met many people, mainly from school & university, that were completely incapable of seeing they were making someone uncomfortable. It's like they just couldn't read a persons body language or expressions.
I even used to have friends that would do this to me. If I was pissed/upset or whatever, I wouldn't talk much and my body language would obviously reflect that but they would still try and talk to me like normal and joke around, completely unaware. When I'd explicitly tell them I was mad and didn't want to talk then I'd get the "wtf how was I supposed to know" face. It's bizarre.
So yeah a lot of people are dumb and can't read other people for shit, i'm convinced of that.
I think this is one of those habits that's still lingering from a bygone era. I also think it is one of those things that exist in a very grey and black area of the ethics scale, because in a different given context, all those things you mention as sexual harassment can also be termed as flirty by the individuals involved. I would liken it to dominatrix types where from a neutral perspective, it just looks all wrong but when you begin to dissect the context, those individuals find them a turn on of sorts. That said though, I think catcalling a female you don't know at all definitely comes off extremely rude especially in a society where females are preyed on a lot.
You know it is funny that years ago, before social media and things, we used to learn how to write love letters, learn how to soft-stalk people or straight up approach people who we find attractive but these days, these things are seen in a more negative light. I suppose just as with everything, time eventually catches up to everything and everyone
You know it is funny that years ago, before social media and things, we used to learn how to write love letters, learn how to soft-stalk people or straight up approach people who we find attractive but these days, these things are seen in a more negative light. I suppose just as with everything, time eventually catches up to everything and everyone
Nope.
I don't know if that video is real but if it is, that's not catcalling to me, that is actual harassment. They continue to talk to the girl and even try to touch her. Having said that, the girl is also fucking stupid for ripping that mirror off.
10/10 but this could've just been a post in that thread. I'm kind of over threads like this that are so painfully unaware that gaf is a liberal echochamber. The guys that actually need to be sat down are not here, and if they are here they're too bashful and ban-averse to actually cop to the shameful words and deeds they spout on the regular offline.
Yeah I've been cat called, but saying that on neogaf is essentially like going an aa meeting with big brother watching. No one is gonna admit to shit, which is ultimately how change happens.
The NPR story about this was truly well done and i encourage everyone to seek it out.
Yeah I've been cat called, but saying that on neogaf is essentially like going an aa meeting with big brother watching. No one is gonna admit to shit, which is ultimately how change happens.
The NPR story about this was truly well done and i encourage everyone to seek it out.
catcalling is actually really cringe-worthy if you think about it, a sure sign of several lack of (oder underused) brain potence. Sure some people are limited in rhetoric, self esteem and the confidence in the way they approach a women but it's not like there's a huge natural barrier to overcome such issues.
Catcalling only works with low self esteem women with tons of issues. It works however from time to time, that's why it happens.
Catcalling only works with low self esteem women with tons of issues. It works however from time to time, that's why it happens.
Lollipop Dave
Member
The frequency that some people are faced with is something I never thought about and can completely see why that would bother people. The second part is good advice in general, I love it when someone compliments my clothing, it's a great feeling.
Yeah, I probably would. The amount of times this can happen to a single person is something I've never really given much thought to before now.
Chuckie
Member
Not really. She got fucking harassed and retaliated. The cunts deserved it.
ClosingADoor
Member
Nah, you get assaulted, you hit back if you can. The only other option she has is ignore it and let them get away with it. Well, fuck that.
I have in my whole life never heard of an instance where it worked and the girl thought "well, let's go dating with this random guy that just yelled at me."
Prime crotch
Banned
We still do that, it's just due to how hectic life has become people have become more closed off, people have resorted to "safe" approaches, a like or a comment on a instagram post and such. You can still get catcalls on social media, and they're just as phony.
they don't care because she would have to pay for it. Better way would be to have them pay for their harassament through the law.
Oh damn. They had that coming, the one guy even touched her.
Street justice and retaliation are not a thing.
nah it has nothing to do with low self esteem. We live in a society that encourages men to be as shitty as possible to women. It "working" is a symptom of that. These women that allow this are simply operating under the impression that this is absolutely slimy, but totally within the range of expected male behaviors. Similar to how some women can vote for Donald Trump and support him.
Chuckie
Member
She was gone. No way she is going to pay for it. Either they have to themselves or the company they work for. And no matter what it is at least an annoyance for the. Have to go to the garage etc.
I sincerely doubt 'the law' would do a lot about that harassment.
Apparently they are. Because I just saw someone retaliate and I think it was justice.
ClosingADoor
Member
Good luck with that...
I guess this point got proven.
Allgamer: would you say what those guys in that video were saying was fine if they didn't put their hands on her?
Spunky Monkey
Member
Personally, i don't get it. Same with guys that send dick pics to girls they've just met. I can only assume the thinking is.
1. Catcall/dick pic
2. She's never had an offer like that before and is now so intrigued she wants to be with me.
3. Sex
Seriously, most guys are dumb (and i say this as a guy) because no one is ever going to react to either of those two things as if you was showing a staving man a loaf of bread.
It's infuriating cos it means one guy doing that ruins it for the rest of us normal guys.
1. Catcall/dick pic
2. She's never had an offer like that before and is now so intrigued she wants to be with me.
3. Sex
Seriously, most guys are dumb (and i say this as a guy) because no one is ever going to react to either of those two things as if you was showing a staving man a loaf of bread.
It's infuriating cos it means one guy doing that ruins it for the rest of us normal guys.
Sidewinder
Member
Same here.
I always feel like it's an impotence thing. Sexually frustrated, no idea how to actually connect to someone on a human level, especially to someone on the opposite gender. Revert to dickhead mode to either vent their frustration or perhaps honestly hope the woman will turn to pornstar mode and drop her pants at something like that.
There is a difference between catcalling and just talking/flirting to somebody.
Sadly, for some of the lesser emotionally able, they really can't tell the difference.
lol, that's a normal thing, just don't do the "ficki ficki" dance.
hydrophilic attack
Member
can someone explain the etymology of catcalling
how are cats involved
how are cats involved
Just because people are dancing doesn't mean you can go rub yourself in someone.
highrider
Banned
It is harassment, but it also seems like it's tolerated. The guys I've seen that do this are usually one of two types.
They hit on women in volume, many times a day and hope to get lucky. They do things like honk their horn at women. Most of these guys I think need to feel like they are successful with women and I think this reinforces that, despite them probably not being very successful. It's also more accepted in the Black and Latino communities in my experience. Some women like the aggressive approach.
The other type is the guy that seems pretty cool until he's around or near women, and you see that they are complete degenerates. They are usually the toxic ' nice guy ' or just have issues with women period. They are the ones that escalate it, and often insult women if they don't respond the way they want. These guys are scary, and probably predators.
They hit on women in volume, many times a day and hope to get lucky. They do things like honk their horn at women. Most of these guys I think need to feel like they are successful with women and I think this reinforces that, despite them probably not being very successful. It's also more accepted in the Black and Latino communities in my experience. Some women like the aggressive approach.
The other type is the guy that seems pretty cool until he's around or near women, and you see that they are complete degenerates. They are usually the toxic ' nice guy ' or just have issues with women period. They are the ones that escalate it, and often insult women if they don't respond the way they want. These guys are scary, and probably predators.
The thinking is -- i can get away with it and society encourages me to do so. "Be a man. Act on your urges. Take what you want."
When a girl can get her fucking pussy grabbed on a packed elevator or a full subway car, the thinking is -- this is well within expected behavior and if i should get slapped or assaulted back, "eh it was worth it." This is bigger than getting to fuck. Its an attitude.
No. One guy doing that ruins it for the other guys doing that. And those guys don't give a shit anyway. You shouldn't let them get to you.Spunky Monkey said:
Thank you
Stiflers Mom
Banned
I'd say it's only feeling like harrassment if the person is not up to your sexual standards and status.
Imagine Brett Pitt or George Clooney catcalling women (let's say 20 years ago, they are old dudes now... ) on the street.
I guess these women would just feel flattered, and not harrassed by it.
Imagine Brett Pitt or George Clooney catcalling women (let's say 20 years ago, they are old dudes now... ) on the street.
I guess these women would just feel flattered, and not harrassed by it.
What I hate most about catcallers is how they make women paranoid in public and nearly unapproachabe for a normal social interaction.
They're always on guard and with shields ups and it's pretty damn hard to strike up a normal conversation.
Mmmm.. About about the judging thing, that is simply what we humans do, all of us and all the time. Everytime we meet someone we make a quick judgement based on their appearance; "wow she/he's hot .. " yuck, she's/he's ugly .. 'Damn girl's got boobs' .. Whoa, that guy has a sexy butt etc.."
But of course unless you know the other person really well, you keep your judgement for yourself.
They're always on guard and with shields ups and it's pretty damn hard to strike up a normal conversation.
Mmmm.. About about the judging thing, that is simply what we humans do, all of us and all the time. Everytime we meet someone we make a quick judgement based on their appearance; "wow she/he's hot .. " yuck, she's/he's ugly .. 'Damn girl's got boobs' .. Whoa, that guy has a sexy butt etc.."
But of course unless you know the other person really well, you keep your judgement for yourself.
No... it's still bad. If it was a hot guy I'd think he was making fun of me.
SchrodingerC
Member
I despise catcalling. Yelling vulgar shit my way while I'm just trying to exercise or get to my destination is not flattering or cute, it's creepy and obnoxious. Half the time the catcallers are creepy older men or fat bikers.
Edit: Oh and anyone telling another to smile should fuck off. I don't need to put on a permanent smile for your satisfaction, my 'Meh' resting face is just fine thank you very much.
Edit: Oh and anyone telling another to smile should fuck off. I don't need to put on a permanent smile for your satisfaction, my 'Meh' resting face is just fine thank you very much.
ClosingADoor
Member
Ah, the classic excuse. Women like it if the guy is hot. Guess what? You can't make that claim, and it doesn't make it right. It's a toxic way of looking at the issue.
Yeah I agree, life has definitely become very past paced to an extreme point where people barely interact with each other really and especially with younger folks, I see a lot of young ones with social anxiety when placed in a group set up.
A lot of the time when I am in a group whether in school, employment or the likes, you get this impression that young people are inexperienced when it comes to social interactions that isn't happening in a forum/club/pub so they really don't know how to react.
I feel very much like a dinosaur a lot the time even though I am around thirty and I tend to get along better with people who are older than I am, rather strange state of affairs lol
Was just reminded of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-2lNN_Sxpw
Gender dynamics come clear into focus when you flip them.
Daffy Duck
Member
Wow, that video....that video also seems to point that it's mainly an issue that black men do this, which doesn't seem fair at all, I mean one white guy and the rest are black and I think one Hispanic guy?
I've always though of wolf whistling and other methods of shouting out to random women in the street is really odd.
The cyclist video on the other hand is next level, that guy in the van is a fucking tool. Not sure why she ripped the wing mirror off the van though.
ShironRedshift
Member
Not positive, but if I had to take a stab:
"Cat" is old-fashioned slang for (usually young) men/bachelors.
Catcalling is (usually) men trying to call the attention of women by saying sexually explicit stuff.
Replace "men" with the slang term.
Cats trying to call the attention of women.
Catcalling.
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