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[JustSomeone]

Pardon my ignorance. But what constitutes as "catcalling"? It's not a term I'm familiar with.

Yeah, I honetly thought it's a thread about naming cats...


And well, it is said women like men with high self confidence, I guess some people somehow think that emberrasing themselves in public is a good way of showing it.

 

[Cepheus]

Catcalling is disgusting. I've never done it and never plan to. I don't even know why anyone would think that it would be a good idea to do it. Unfortunately, my father had no problems with doing it (while still married) and worse. One time he took me to a football game when I was about nine or ten and afterwards, him and a friend saw a woman walking her dog so they slowed the car right down beside her and started 'chatting her up'. I was shocked beyond belief, and understandably thought differently of him after that. What is wrong with some people?

 

[excelsiorlef]

I've only every done this once.

And we've been married since 1998. So I'm 1 for 1.

I mean good for you. Doesn’t make it good advice

 

[Moon Presence]

Depends on where you live and you deal with things. Here in Portugal if you catcall a group of girls they'll just laugh so much in your face that you'll feel like an idiot. At least here it's not a serious matter, women do it to men as well. I guess both sides just laugh at how childish and stupid it is, we'll crack a couple of laughs and move on.

 

[Chaos2Frozen]

I'm of the opinion that it's better to just let girls ask you out instead of potentially offending or harassing anyone.

 

[JustSomeone]

I'm of the opinion that it's better to just let girls ask you out

If only the world worked like that...

 

[DirgeExtinction]

This reminds me of the Playboy catcalling flowchart. It's very accurate.

*Edit* apparently, someone already posted it.

 

[TBiddy]

I'm of the opinion that it's better to just let girls ask you out instead of potentially offending or harassing anyone.

In the real world, it's absolutely possible to ask someone out in a way, that isn't offending anyone. Go strike up a conversation. It's part of being human, that you interact with strangers.

If there's chemistry, ask her out. If she says no, thank her for time and walk away.

What if the women are told the same thing, that you just been told? "Asking out is offensive and harrassing!".

 

[Jerry]

Since you claim some women like it: show us that they do. The burden of proof is on you. I've never heard of a woman who enjoyed it so I don't think they exist. Sure, I'm using inductive reason here, but I'm pretty much with ok with assuming that.

I mean, Prostitutes must like it right?

 

[Messofanego]

Sorry but this is where it gets too extreme for me. It is pretty easy to read body language when somebody clearly doesn't want to be approached by anybody in any fashion. Those people should be left alone. But talking to a woman in public who isn't giving "piss off" vibes (ie. intentionally avoiding eye contact or headphones in) and politely starting a normal conversation (ie. not cat calling) while you're both waiting for something seems to be pretty innocuous as long as you apologize and leave them alone if they appear uncomfortable

And I apologize if I'm coming across as mansplaining, as that's not my intention.I have read the posts of all the women in the topic, and agree with all of them. This is just the first one that's made me say "eh..." since it does take the rules of public interaction to a level more extreme than the other posts.

Dude, the post you quoted is agreeing with you. The quoted post goes about body language same as you, that if there isn't that connection then don't bother going any further.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Is swiping right on Tinder digital catcalling?

What the hell? No. Tinder is a dating app. People who use it are actively looking for hookups.

A woman walking down the street is just minding her own business going somewhere.

Why the fuck does this need to be explained?

Men who think you know better than the women who have posted in this thread: you don't.

.

 

[Beefy]

Catcalling in the gay community is probably even worse then hetro, it's annoying as fuck. Yep it is harassment.

 

[MrToughPants]

I'm of the opinion that it's better to just let girls ask you out instead of potentially offending or harassing anyone.

Foreveralone

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

Sorry to make you cringe, but I'm a guy.

I think men who approach women out of nowhere with no reason for talking to them other than that they think she's cute and want to ask them 'how their day is going' are creepy. There is a time and a place to approach other people to talk to them. Given that this thread is about catcalling, this is being framed as a conversation about approaching women in the street or in public places, not bars/clubs or social events etc. I think guys who approach women in the street are creepy.

As a guy, I am suspicious of any stranger who approaches me, more so if they just want to ask 'how my day is going'. I would assume that person is trying to con me or distract me while their friend steals my wallet. If someone is asking for directions or for the time, that's fine. One of my least favourite experiences is when I'm on a bus or train and the person sitting next to me tries to start a conversation. These people are usually crazy.

I can only imagine how much more worrying these kinds of situations must be for women when there's an added level of sexual attraction involved. Where there's a higher chance that the person approaching them might wish to abduct them, rape them or murder them. Disregarding any kind of danger aspect, it must be annoying to be approached only because a person finds you attractive.

Probably a good idea for anyone to not get advice from someone completely socially inept like yourself. Make sure the tin foil hat is always on next time you post.

 

[pashmilla]

Probably a good idea not get advice from completely socially inept like yourself. Make sure the tin foil hat is always on next time you post.

Why is he socially inept? I agree with everything he's saying. Most women would find it extremely creepy if some random walked up to them on the street and asked for a date.

 

[Greddleok]

Probably a good idea for anyone to not get advice from someone completely socially inept like yourself. Make sure the tin foil hat is always on next time you post.

No way.

If I'm not at a social event, and someone talks to me, I'm on edge. Fuck off and let me get on with my day.
At a bar or something, that's entirely different...

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Why is he socially inept? I agree with everything he's saying. Most women would find it extremely creepy if some random walked up to them on the street and asked for a date.

+1

 

[notaskwid]

Probably a good idea for anyone to not get advice from someone completely socially inept like yourself. Make sure the tin foil hat is always on next time you post.

It'a a numbers game amirite. Doesn't matter how many people you annoy/creep out as long as you get to dip it in the end.

 

[Suplexer]

The first time I ever experienced "real" catcalling was when I was about 16 or 17 (I'm a male) and I was with a group of friends. I didn't go out much during that time in my life, so it was a rare occasion that I was out, walking with a group of people just for the fun of it. I was having a really good time, but it went to shit as a group of girls walked by my friends and I. We were young, but even then, when my friends began to whistle and holler at these girls I felt EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I could see the embarrassment and fear in their eyes as they sprinted away from us and my friends kept yelling. I feel sick even thinking about it and I'm glad I had enough common sense to not join them but I still feel terrible for not doing anything more than awkwardly smiling at my friends and avoiding eye contact with the girls. I don't hang out with those guys anymore but I like to think they have "grown out" of being complete dickheads.

That instance plus a much worse instance where a group of older guys asked my girlfriend-of-the-time and sisters, right in front of me, if they "can give good head" has made me really uncomfortable in a lot of social situations with my sisters and girlfriend, and I wasn't even the victim in these instances.

Seriously, don't EVER condone this stuff, I know it can seem rather innocent without proper context, but condoning stuff like that leads to people doing the shit above, and it's NEVER okay.

 

[DiipuSurotu]

What the fuck is an aura??

 

[LotusHD]

What the fuck is an aura??

Spoiler

Your avatar being Gohan in particular out of all the DBZ characters makes your post even funnier lol

 

[Google]

People who use it are actively looking for hookups.

Genuine question: Do you believe that people should leave each alone unless they specifically 'raise their hand' to say that they're interested in talking/buying/dating/etc?

 

[ChouGoku]

I've catcalled from a car a few times when I was younger. I never did it on my own and I guess did it because of peer pressure and low confidence. Granted I was 17-20, but it always felt so pussy and uncomfortable to me.

 

[Hashmal_Bringer_of_Order]

The worst part about cat-calling is that people think it will work. How can anyone be that stupid?

 

[hurricanes]

Genuine question: Do you believe that people should leave each alone unless they specifically 'raise their hand' to say that they're interested in talking/buying/dating/etc?

people should leave each other alone if they seem even just a tiny bit uninterested.

But of course you will defend the "brotherhood": "how would I know that they are really uninterested if I don't ask!"

 

[WolfeTone]

Probably a good idea for anyone to not get advice from someone completely socially inept like yourself. Make sure the tin foil hat is always on next time you post.

What about my post indicates that I'm socially inept exactly?

 

[InfiniteBento]

I am not open to strangers giving their opinion of me when I did not ask for it especially if it's a comment formatted to objectify my existence for the pleasure of their own. If you believe what I look like warrants you opening your mouth to give me a sexualizing comment ; you are a piece of shit. Flat out. And frankly, I will happily call you out for being a misogynistic piece of garbage in front of everyone and their mother if you decide objectifying me is worth opening your mouth for.

Catcalling will never be a compliment, is never welcomed, and makes you an asshole regardless of your "intentions". No one cares for your approval of another woman's looks and none of us welcome your opinion. ����

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

It'a a numbers game amirite. Doesn't matter how many people you annoy/creep out as long as you get to dip it in the end.

Saying hi how are you and if someone is not interested based on body language or initial response, you say sorry to bother ya and have a nice day and leave them alone. It's about meeting new people, which is a basic human interaction. I've met and had some amazing experiences from either someone else introducing themselves in a simple manner or the other way around. Not once have I been creeped out by anyone beginning to talk to me unless they low key looked like they were going to mug me. -_-

The point is that if you are in any way being annoying or disruptive in those first 5 seconds, you should leave whoever you introduce yourself to alone. It's pretty damn sad that basic human interaction is considered creepy, obviously I'm not talking about douchey catcalling or obnoxious behavior.

 

[WolfeTone]

Saying hi how are you and if someone is not interested based on body language or initial response, you say sorry to bother ya and have a nice day and leave them alone. It's about meeting new people, which is a basic human interaction. I've met and had some amazing experiences from either someone else introducing themselves in a simple manner or the other way around. Not once have I been creeped out by anyone beginning to talk to me unless they low key looked like they were going to mug me. -_-

The point is that if you are in any way being annoying or disruptive in those first 5 seconds, you should leave whoever you introduce yourself to alone. It's pretty damn sad that basic human interaction is considered creepy, obviously I'm not talking about douchey catcalling or obnoxious behavior.

I get where you're coming from, but is it not reasonable that other people might find people approaching them in public as unsettling? Particularly for a woman who has to wonder whether someone asking 'how is your day going' has an ulterior motive?

 

[Goliath]

I get where you're coming from, but is it not reasonable that other people might find people approaching them in public as unsettling? Particularly for a woman who has to wonder whether someone asking 'how is your day going' has an ulterior motive?

Yes but that is subjective. As another poster has said, some people don't mind other do. You don't know until you approach someone and once it is clear they aren't interested you back off. It's not rocket science.

 

[AnathemicOne]

Saying hi how are you and if someone is not interested based on body language or initial response, you say sorry to bother ya and have a nice day and leave them alone. It's about meeting new people, which is a basic human interaction. I've met and had some amazing experiences from either someone else introducing themselves in a simple manner or the other way around. Not once have I been creeped out by anyone beginning to talk to me unless they low key looked like they were going to mug me. -_-

The point is that if you are in any way being annoying or disruptive in those first 5 seconds, you should leave whoever you introduce yourself to alone. It's pretty damn sad that basic human interaction is considered creepy, obviously I'm not talking about douchey catcalling or obnoxious behavior.

Everyone needs to live in a city. The reality of going about your day on a public street without being interrupted is apparently too hard to handle. And despite our "social ineptitude" us city folk somehow manage to form relationships, go figure.

 

[nkarafo]

This thread feels so weird to me. I never thought catcalling is considered "sexual harassment". I only thought of it as a rude, obnoxious thing but actual sexual harassment?

Also i'm skeptical about all the "victims" feeling the same about it. I met girls who have very low charisma (what's considered ugly in layman's terms) and self esteem and i'm sure they wouldn't mind if they felt desired once in a while. I'm in the same boat actually. I'm also a low charisma, introvert guy. I never had a girl catcalling on me. I know it's not as common as men doing it but if a girl would do it to me, i would be in heaven for the rest of the week. I know this because i did get catcalled by a gay person one day. And despite me not being gay, it felt amazing. The feeling of being desired is something that's missing from many people's lives.

I suppose beautiful women/men with high charisma and self esteem don't have this problem. I get that. But you really need to be on the other side of the spectrum. Personally, like i said, i'm a low charisma, introvert person. I'm also incredibly shy, heck i'm almost afraid of women.

So as you can guess, i never catcalled anyone. I never whistled. But here's the thing. I'm 35 and i only had a sexual relationship once in my whole life. And that's because a friend introduced that girl on me and tried to hook us up. Which only lasted a couple of years anyway. For the rest of my life, i'm forever alone and miserable. Some of the guys i know are not so shy though. They have done the catcalling many times. They do hit on girls, sometimes not in the most polite way. I used to think about them as rude and obnoxious sometimes but in the end they are the ones that are happy. Because their sex lives are complete. They always seem to have a partner/relationship. And me? I'm the good guy. Such polite and low key. Well fuck that, i wish i was a savage then.

 

[17 Seconds]

This thread feels so weird to me. I never thought catcalling is considered "sexual harassment". I only thought of it as a rude, obnoxious thing but actual sexual harassment?

Also i'm skeptical about all the "victims" feeling the same about it. I met girls who have very low charisma (what's considered ugly in layman's terms) and self esteem and i'm sure they wouldn't mind if they felt desired once in a while. I'm in the same boat actually. I'm also a low charisma, introvert guy. I never had a girl catcalling on me. I know it's not as common as men doing it but if a girl would do it to me, i would be in heaven for the rest of the week. I know this because i did get catcalled by a gay person one day. And despite me not being gay, it felt amazing. The feeling of being desired is something that's missing from many people's lives.

I suppose beautiful women/men with high charisma don't have this problem. I get that. But you really need to be on the other side of the spectrum. Personally, like i said, i'm a low charisma, introvert person. I'm also incredibly shy, heck i'm almost afraid of women.

So as you can guess, i never catcalled anyone. I never whistled. But here's the thing. I'm 35 and i only had a sexual relationship once in my whole life. And that's because a friend introduced that girl on me and tried to hook us up. Which only lasted a couple of years anyway. For the rest of my life, i'm forever alone and miserable. Some of the guys i know are not so shy though. They have done the catcalling many times. They do hit on girls, sometimes not in the most polite way. I used to think about them as rude and obnoxious sometimes but in the end they are the ones that are happy. Because their sex lives are complete. They always seem to have a partner/relationship. And me? I'm the good guy. Such polite and low key. Well fuck that, i wish i was a savage then.

believe it or not, you can have an active sex life without being a creep

 

[Dio]

This thread feels so weird to me. I never thought catcalling is considered "sexual harassment". I only thought of it as a rude, obnoxious thing but actual sexual harassment?

Also i'm skeptical about all the "victims" feeling the same about it. I met girls who have very low charisma (what's considered ugly in layman's terms) and self esteem and i'm sure they wouldn't mind if they felt desired once in a while. I'm in the same boat actually. I'm also a low charisma, introvert guy. I never had a girl catcalling on me. I know it's not as common as men doing it but if a girl would do it to me, i would be in heaven for the rest of the week. I know this because i did get catcalled by a gay person one day. And despite me not being gay, it felt amazing. The feeling of being desired is something that's missing from many people's lives.

I suppose beautiful women/men with high charisma and self esteem don't have this problem. I get that. But you really need to be on the other side of the spectrum. Personally, like i said, i'm a low charisma, introvert person. I'm also incredibly shy, heck i'm almost afraid of women.

So as you can guess, i never catcalled anyone. I never whistled. But here's the thing. I'm 35 and i only had a sexual relationship once in my whole life. And that's because a friend introduced that girl on me and tried to hook us up. Which only lasted a couple of years anyway. For the rest of my life, i'm forever alone and miserable. Some of the guys i know are not so shy though. They have done the catcalling many times. They do hit on girls, sometimes not in the most polite way. I used to think about them as rude and obnoxious sometimes but in the end they are the ones that are happy. Because their sex lives are complete. They always seem to have a partner/relationship. And me? I'm the good guy. Such polite and low key. Well fuck that, i wish i was a savage then.

 

[LionPride]

This thread feels so weird to me. I never thought catcalling is considered "sexual harassment". I only thought of it as a rude, obnoxious thing but actual sexual harassment?

Also i'm skeptical about all the "victims" feeling the same about it. I met girls who have very low charisma (what's considered ugly in layman's terms) and self esteem and i'm sure they wouldn't mind if they felt desired once in a while. I'm in the same boat actually. I'm also a low charisma, introvert guy. I never had a girl catcalling on me. I know it's not as common as men doing it but if a girl would do it to me, i would be in heaven for the rest of the week. I know this because i did get catcalled by a gay person one day. And despite me not being gay, it felt amazing. The feeling of being desired is something that's missing from many people's lives.

I suppose beautiful women/men with high charisma and self esteem don't have this problem. I get that. But you really need to be on the other side of the spectrum. Personally, like i said, i'm a low charisma, introvert person. I'm also incredibly shy, heck i'm almost afraid of women.

So as you can guess, i never catcalled anyone. I never whistled. But here's the thing. I'm 35 and i only had a sexual relationship once in my whole life. And that's because a friend introduced that girl on me and tried to hook us up. Which only lasted a couple of years anyway. For the rest of my life, i'm forever alone and miserable. Some of the guys i know are not so shy though. They have done the catcalling many times. They do hit on girls, sometimes not in the most polite way. I used to think about them as rude and obnoxious sometimes but in the end they are the ones that are happy. Because their sex lives are complete. They always seem to have a partner/relationship. And me? I'm the good guy. Such polite and low key. Well fuck that, i wish i was a savage then.

Fucking sigh

 

[nkarafo]

If you read my post there is a part where i said it happened to me once and i was not like the guy in the last panel.

Also i'm talking about catcalling. This comic looks like something too extreme.

 

[BlackRainbowFT]

Yeah, fuck catcalling. Sometimes it goes way too far, way too quickly.
about 6-7 years ago my GF came back home shaken as she had been pushed against a wall by 3 guys after ignoring them.

If my blood didn't boil then, I don't know what would.

À on the other hand I've seen women on YouTube stating that you should never try to make contact unless basically written consent

On the other hand this has resulted in some awkward interactions where I'm 100% sure the person thought I was flirting or something... when in fact I was only being kins (without being obnoxious, of course)

 

[Two Words]

it happened to me once

And we're done here.

 

[Dio]

If you read my post there is a part where i said it happened to me once and i was not like the guy in the last panel.

Also i'm talking about catcalling. This comic looks like something too extreme.

cat·call
ˈkatˌkôl/
verb
gerund or present participle: catcalling
make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by.
"they were fired for catcalling at women"

 

[nkarafo]

And we're done here.

So you are saying if catcalling happens only once in a while, it's OK?

cat·call
ˈkatˌkôl/
verb
gerund or present participle: catcalling
make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by.
"they were fired for catcalling at women"

There is a big gap between someone whistling on you and someone telling you in your face "i want to fuck you in the mouth".

 

[commedieu]

If you read my post there is a part where i said it happened to me once and i was not like the guy in the last panel.

Also i'm talking about catcalling. This comic looks like something too extreme.

Your forever alone story has nothing to do with women being sexually harassed. You're not on the stand, needing to defend yourself if you're not the issue.

What are you trying to prove, that there are exceptions to everything stated, in the known history of human kind?

You can't just redefine what others feel is harassment, and tell weird tales of your own bizarre anecdotes. That comic is about catcalling.
"
make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by.
"they were fired for catcalling at women"
-catcalling.

It's clear you don't know what it even is you're discussing, and are taking an opportunity to cry for help. Don't worry, you can meet someone one day. You just have to do online dating, or try a bar. Also, some people are happy being single and seeing friends happy. You have to figure out what you want, give it a shot, and let life figure out the rest.

 

[Two Words]

So you are saying if catcalling happens only once in a while, it's OK?

You didn't say once in a while. You said once. You think women are complaining about catcalling because they were catcalled once? Being regularly solicited by random men you don't know is not a good thing.

 

[nkarafo]

Your forever alone story has nothing to do with women being sexually harassed. You're not on the stand, needing to defend yourself if you're not the issue.

What are you trying to prove, that there are exceptions to everything stated, in the known history of human kind?

You can't just redefine what others feel is harassment, and tell weird tales of your own bizarre anecdotes. That comic is about catcalling.
"
make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by.
"they were fired for catcalling at women"
-catcalling.

It's clear you don't know what it even is you're discussing, and are taking an opportunity to cry for help.

Ok i guess i haven't understood what exactly is the word catcalling then, Pardon me, i'm from Greece.

But this thread does seem to imply that a whistle or car horn is the same as someone putting you in a corner telling you that he wants to "fuck you in the mouth"? Is that correct?

 

[Two Words]

Ok i guess i haven't understood what exactly is the word catcalling then, Pardon me, i'm from Greece.

But this thread does seem to imply that a whistle or car horn is the same as someone putting you in a corner telling you that he wants to "fuck you in the mouth"? Is that correct?

This person is clearly playing dumb.

 

[nkarafo]

This person is clearly playing dumb.

Well maybe i am? because the catcalling definition i was given (first time i see this word, honestly) and then this comic strip on top of that seems to include a broad spectrum of different behaviors. It's confusing to me, yes. Because i never thought that whistling or doing the car horn thing is considered sexual harassment like how some of the characters in the comic behave.

 

[commedieu]

Ok i guess i haven't understood what exactly is catcalling then, Pardon me, i'm from Greece.

It does seem to say that a whistle or car horn is the same as someone putting you in a corner telling you that he wants to "fuck you in the mouth"? Is that correct?

Those are examples of a definition. there is no scorecard listed to prove to you if they are equal. However, I know I can whistle while making crude body language that could make a person feel harassed. Horns could be seen as harassment and alarming to someone just walking without any reason to honk. Especially if this person is just honking at you, and not all pedestrians. Just as I know that literally cornering a woman, is harassment. Adding in that I want to fuck her mouth is a bonus.

There is a range to harassment. It's not all mouth fucking.

The comic book isn't peer reviewed educational material. You do have comics in greece, right?

There is no need to try to find a technicality to argue. Listen to what a large number of people are defining as harassment. Try not to take it internally and debate your innocence. If you're not a scumbag, youre excluded.

 

[KdylanR92]

Having grown up with 3 sisters Cat-Calling is one of the things I hate the most.


As a matter of fact i've never met a guy that was successful at cat-calling or a female that actually liked it.

 

[LionPride]

Having grown up with 3 sisters Cat-Calling is one of the things I hate the most.


As a matter of fact i've never met a guy that was successful at cat-calling or a female that actually liked it.

Dudes really think yelling "I know you hear me!" Or some shit works

 

[Cyanity]

Sometimes it's hard to judge intent, but it gets wearisome with frequency.

Personally I'd much prefer a guy compliment what I've done with my hair or what I'm wearing than what I look like. Something akin to "I love that shirt!" or "your hair braids are gorgeous". The reason is because those things are things I've chosen, not things I was born with. It's complementing who I've chosen to be, not how effective nature was at producing a fuckable person.

This is the good advice. I've always made it a point to call out great clothing choices to people (of any sex) on the street, and it's never failed to get a genuinely positive response. Granted, I've never been hitting on the person when doing it, so there's that much less tension there, but still.

edit - so I guess the moral of the story is to not hit on people on the street? Just be confident and good to each other and good things will come your way. Every interaction with the sex you're attracted to doesn't have to have an ulterior motive.

 

[Iriscomeback]

I was so surprised to hear that my wife experiences this on a daily basis. I thought maybe she was catcalled, like, once a week at most?

Got so angry when I heard about it, but she said there really isn't anything you can do about it. It's even worse in the summer and it prevents her from wearing certain clothes.

'Nice milk bottles!' is something she hears a lot when wearing a skirt or something during summer. What the fuck?! Why would you say something like that?