Time for Raxus' Fun Time Regrets Story Corner! Yaaaaay....
So I went to a bar crawl with friends This went from 5-6 to midnight and by the end I was pretty sloshed (I am a lightweight). Conscious but too drunk to drive so I ubered home. Once home safe I started to watch some TV for fun and get to sobering up.
Too bad this was at a time I was just putting myself out there and figured 3 A.M. would be a good time for a hook up. I didn't want to host so I got the wise idea to hit up a guy I only somewhat knew and never met in person before and to go to a hotel. I ubered again and paid another 25 bucks to go to some nowhere end of town. Got to the hotel room. Guy was kind of weird but honest. He was watching porn and was (not getting into further specifics) a designer for a living and we more or less got straight down to business and did the deed. It wasn't horrible nor was it anything to write home about. So we were finished and he wanted to change hotel rooms due to complaints he had about the hotel room and to switch where his friends had been.
This is where:
I didn't part ways with him. The guy promised me a ride back to my car now that I was sobering up and starting to understand what the word "shame" meant again and I was beginning to retain all my cognitive functions. I didn't want to spend another 25 bucks to get to my car after spending way too much at the bars and the trip home and here was beginning to add up. I figured we could be in and out. Maybe get another quickie in once I recharged in 15. I was a big fucking idiot. So his friend rolls around with some stranger in tow. They talk about stuff but at this point I tune out. I will take this awkward hour to describe the guy I decided to sleep with. He was basically Woody Allen. Neurotic about everything and took 20 years to mess with his laptop as I lay there to put on shitty porn. He seemed to like to put on porn that I want to describe in non-specific details but I'd rather avoid a ban. Needless to say it was the exact opposite of how I like to treat my partners. At this point I should have known I wasn't going to get laid so I just wanted out of there. Problem is the guy couldn't drive at night and I had to wait for daybreak to get the hell out of dodge. Of....fucking...course. During this time his other friends start messing around and I just have to awkwardly wait. When the guy I was with stepped out for a smoke I gladly went out with him to avoid being in that room any longer. We had to go back eventually though and the friend didn't skip a beat with the random stranger he was making out with. Before they could progress to a full on session they find they are out of lube....that I maaaaaaay have used earlier in the night. It was probably the only saving grace all night. So the friend sends the guy I was with to get him more lube and gas for his car. The guy I was with gets in this POS car that apparently some kids stole and took for a joyride earlier and we went to get gas. I begged him to take me to my car but he said he couldn't. We drove to the gas station and then walmart where the guy I was with (who I will call Woody at this point) proceeds to tell me the guy picks up gentlemen on grindr all the time and honey pots them with drugs and all sorts of stuff. Something I could believe 100% based on my experience so far and knowing the state I lived in.
It is nearly 6 o clock at this point and my car felt ever so close. All Woody had to do was deliver the lube to his shitty friend and then he would take the POS car to mine and I would be free. He asked me to dig for change for cigarettes which he was out of while he did that and I obliged just to have something to do and to avoid going into the room again. I found about a 1.25 and luckily no dirty needles on the floor. It looked like a car you would find dirty needles lying about. But I did find a dead toenail and stopped looking for change on the spot and waited excruciating minute by excruciating minute to get the fuck out. He finally arrives with another friend in tow and I plot a route back to my car. As a sidenote, the other friend I met earlier and was gone most the night and a rather chill dude and perhaps the only person from this night I will ever recall without wanting to upchuck bile. Speaking up upchucking, I checked my grindr to find the friend "tapped" me. I quickly blocked him.
Back to the story, I was nearly home free. One problem, this POS car can't drive on the highway. Mother fu-. So Woody, the chill friend and I inspect the car and I plot an alternate course. The rest was a daze as I finally made it back to the car. I made the niceties and sped walked back to my car. Silently cried in my head and drove off and made it home safely and stone cold sober about what I had done. At this point I must point out several things. Never before have I been happier about being religious about using protection. I managed to avoid what could have been a nest of STD's. My dignity is 0 and I am usually proud of that fact but this experience made me reevaluate that stance. I went home and slept and washed my dick off harder than I had ever done before. I blocked and deleted the guy on Grindr. Since then I have NEVER done a straight hook up on grindr ever and will NEVER do it again.
TL;DR I got drunk. Slept with the equivalent of what I imagine sleeping with a feral pus ridden raccoon and made several mistakes and didn't get out of dodge when I could.
Moral of the story: A Hook up is a hook up kiddos. Bring your car. Get in. Get off. Get out.
Do I regret it. In many ways yes but for someone starting out this was an eye opening experience that I wouldn't take back. It made me much more cautious about who I meet and more selective. There was a lot more I learned but I have been rambling too long. Use protection. Have fun. Know who you are with. Know you are worth it. Also spare no expense getting the fuck out while you can. I now would pay 1000 bucks to get out of that situation at the drop of a hat. I was foolish but it was a learning experience and I didn't get murdered so hooray.