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[Pimpwerx]

Er, not sure if this is old or not. This story apparently was from December, so I don't know. But a certain torrent site with the initials PB had a pretty funny reply to legal threats from various companies:

I have the distinct pleasure of informing you that no Swedish trademark and/or coypyright law is being violated, regardless of how the situation may or may not be under UK law. I would advise you to read up on Swedish trademark law, more specifically Varumarkeslag (1960:644), as this might save you a great deal of future humiliation.

I would also advise you to
a) not write the subject all in UPPERCASE, as it makes spam filters go nuts
b) not attach meaningless data from trademark registrys in PDF format and
c) stop lying.

Dear whatever-you-are,
thank you for providing us and our users with such great entertainment.
I'm not talking about Enya (hey, Enya fucking sucks), but instead of your
nonsensical email.

You have
- confused us with our ISP
- no knowledge whatsoever about BitTorrent
- no knowledge whatsoever of the appliciable laws (trademark or copyright)
- made very entertaining threats (hey, go ahead and contact RIPE NCC,
please, I beg you)

You have scored 10 out of 10 points on our Legal Threats Entertainment
scale. You win the grand prize: A lifetime of ridicule on our legal
threats section (*snip url*) !
Congratulations!

Please also note that I'm not currently out of toilet paper, so you may
wait a while before sending legal papers.

> ================================================
> CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This e-mail message, and any attachments thereto,
> is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain legally
> privileged and/or confidential information. Any unauthorized review, use,
> disclosure or distribution is strictly prohibited. If you are not the
> intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply email and permanently
> delete all copies of the original message.
> ================================================
>
Yeah, right...

Hello and thank you for contacting us. We have shut down the website in
question.

Oh wait, just kidding. We haven't, since the site in question is fully
legal. Unlike certain other countries, such as the one you're in, we have
sane copyright laws here. But we also have polar bears roaming the
streets and attacking people :-(.


> This unauthorized activity with respect to the distribution of EA's
> software products constitutes infringement of EA's intellectual property
> rights. EA enforces its intellectual property rights very aggressively
> by using every legal option available.

Please don't sue us right now, our lawyer is passed out in an alley from
too much moonshine, so please atleast wait until he's found and doesn't
have a huge hangover...

>
> As you are listed as the registrant for this website, EA demands that
> you immediately and permanently disable access to the aforementioned
> bittorrent seeds for The Sims 2 and any in the future.

You're free to demand anything you want. So are we. We demand that you
cease and desist sending letters like this, since they're frivolous and
meaningless. Where should I send the bill for the consumed diskspace and
bandwidth?

> Thank you for your cooperation. If you have any questions concerning
> this matter, please contact us via e-mail at:
> piracy-online@ea.com.
>
>
> Regards,
>
> EA Law - IP Enforcement
> Electronic Arts Inc.
> piracy-online@ea.com <mailtoiracy2@ea.com>

Thank you for your entertainment. As with all other threats, we will
publish this one on *snip*

//anakata

I imagine this can't last long, and won't end well for the site in question, but is Swedis law really that lax? That's pretty fucking hilarious IMO. There are more on the site, but I shan't post a link. I snipped all the urls too I hope. Not sure how to work around that problem. :? PEACE.

 

[Monk]

GO SWEDEN!

 

[Mama Smurf]

I don't have any knowledge of copyright law, especially Swedish copyright law, but this all seriously reminds me of when I worked at a debt collectors.

Firstly, they'd go after people whether they thought it was reasonable (and legal) or not, as that's what the clients are paying you to do. Then you'd intimidate them and make up any crap you liked to get them to pay the debt, as not many people have enough knowledge to know when you're bullshitting. And finally, for some reason under UK law, these people NEVER had to pay back the debts if they didn't want to. I don't remember the details, but I know that even if it went as far as a High Court summons, by law you didn't even have to turn up.

Strikes me as a similar situation, only someone actually knows what they're talking about on the accused's end.

 

[Mugen]

This is old but yes, The Pirate Bay rocks the hizzout.

 

[RevenantKioku]

I may be a little confused, so please do correct me, as that is what I'm asking for, but are they essentially saying allowing free distribution of copyrighted material is a sane copyright law?

 

[Pimpwerx]

I may be a little confused, so please do correct me, as that is what I'm asking for, but are they essentially saying allowing free distribution of copyrighted material is a sane copyright law?

I think so, and I can't help buy co-sign to that policy. :lol PEACE.

 

[Burger]

No, they are saying "Stop sending us stupid threats in relation to US law when we do not live in the US"

Like this letter:

As you may or may not be aware, Sweden is not a state in the United States
of America. Sweden is a country in northern Europe.
Unless you figured it out by now, US law does not apply here.
For your information, no Swedish law is being violated.

Please be assured that any further contact with us, regardless of medium,
will result in
a) a suit being filed for harassment
b) a formal complaint lodged with the bar of your legal counsel, for
sending frivolous legal threats.

It is the opinion of us and our lawyers that you are fucking morons, and
that you should please go sodomize yourself with retractable batons.

Please also note that your e-mail and letter will be published in full on
http://pb.

Go fuck yourself.

Polite as usual,
anakata

 

[Burger]

I think I like this one the best (to SEGA of Japan):

Dear Prokaryote(s),

Please sue me in Japan instead. I've always wanted to visit Tokyo.
Also, I'm running out of toilet paper, so please send lots of legal documents
to our ISP - preferably printed on soft paper.
No, but seriously. That's simply not how international law enforcement
works. Using the same logic, a country where web sites are forbidden could
press charges against you for having one.

 

[ohamsie]

where are you posting these e-mails from?

 

[GameCat]

That site is a bittorrent tracker, in other words it just LINKS to copyright protected material, no such material resides on their servers. This has been tried and deemed legal in a swedish court (some teenager was sued by record companies for linking to MP3s). Whether that would hold if someone a little more legal-savvy pursued them is another matter.

 

[Shinobi]

As you may or may not be aware, Sweden is not a state in the United States
of America. Sweden is a country in northern Europe.
Unless you figured it out by now, US law does not apply here.
For your information, no Swedish law is being violated.

Please be assured that any further contact with us, regardless of medium,
will result in
a) a suit being filed for harassment
b) a formal complaint lodged with the bar of your legal counsel, for
sending frivolous legal threats.

It is the opinion of us and our lawyers that you are fucking morons, and
that you should please go sodomize yourself with retractable batons.

Please also note that your e-mail and letter will be published in full on
http://pb.

Go fuck yourself.

Polite as usual,
anakata

:lol :lol :lol Priceless.

 

[Scrow]

oh... that fact that one of those letters is from EA makes this even better. This has really made my day. *sniff*