I blew all my August money this weekend. Me and a friend hit up the Clevelander Friday night. Sat around and people-watched for a bit. We ignored these two girls who were across from us, who looked like they wanted us to approach them. A bunch of losers made various attempts while we were there, but for whatever reason, we didn't. We were on the candy that night anyway, so our thinking wasn't so clear. Anyway, we left and were just gonna walk down Ocean Drive before heading home when I got a great idea to stop at this place that was offering $3 shots. We go in and get shots of kamikazes when this chick walks up and bums a ciggy off me. A black chick with her white friend. Passable...not hot, but doable. We strike up a convo, and sit and chill with them for a bit. Turns out the girls are strippers working at some hole in the wall. Decent bodies, but nothing to write home about. No wonder they work at a dump. Anyway, smoke a cig, and decide to hit after hours at Club Envy. While we were chilling, one of the girls asked us what was up. I guess she could tell we were acting a bit strange. My friend tells her we got some coke, and both their eyes light up. About this time, I have my reservations. I know how this night's gonna end already. Strippers + coke + Miami means we're gonna spend a lot of money and not get shit.
Well, we stop at Purdy Lounge on the beach for about an hour and dance and have some drinks and bumps before hitting the after hours joint. By this time I've blown through my cash for the night and I'm running on credit. We hit Club Envy and parking is $10 per car. The girls took their car, and being idiots, we paid for their parking. Then cover was $20 a person, even for the girls. I swear, I almost turned and walked out at this point, but my friend coughs up the dough to get them in. Now we're both definitely thinking we're gonna at least get some head in the parking lot for all our efforts. We have more drinks, as I boldly whip out the creddy to run a tab, even after the waitress tells me there's a $50 minimum. What do I care, I want pussy.
Well, long story short, the place was kinda beat, even in VIP. And while one of the girls was being really social and cool, the other one looked like she wanted nothing to do with us. So it was me and my friend basically trading off on this one girl. Not happening. Before we leave, the girls demand another bump, and we give in. By now, we're both $100 in the hole plus our stash is dwindling. We exit, expecting the big payoff. Walk them back to the car...whoops. Here's my number, call me. WTF??? Bitch, you know how much money we just spent?
Man, those two broads took us for the proverbial ride. We were supposed to meet up with them on Saturday for another swing at it, but having blown our whole wad in one night, we decided to just go home and finish the rest of the stuff over some Aqua Teen eps and random bullshit before passing out at 10am. The girls called Saturday night after they got off work, like they said they would, but neither of us had the energy or money to go out. What a fucking waste. Pretty much my whole August budget blown there since I'm not quite sure when my first check for the new school year comes in. I am always wary of strippers. They'll bleed you dry in the strip clubs, but I totally forgot about how they can bleed you dry outside the strip joints too. Strippers have a way of suckering gullible mofos and taking their money. They got us good. Drugs + strippers + Miami nightlife is an evil combination. And the worst part about it was that we passed up much nicer tail while chillin with these chicks. It was fun while it lasted, but really, it was the biggest waste of money I've made in years. That was my weekend. One day I hope to forget soon. Got played like a fucking chump.
PEACE.
Oh yeah, me and my friend figure we might visit the club where they work one night and order lap dances and see if we can't get our rewards then. Something's gotta give.
