Support NeoGAF

[CaLe]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html

I'd take the article and highlight the funny parts, but at this point all of it would end up being highlighted.

Just for kicks:

"There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving."

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them."

 

[Akuun]

What the.... uh.... that's.... FWHA?!?

 

[Pollux]

what does he do stick it in the tail pipe?

 

[JoeBoy101]

I'd imagine the guy drives stick shift.

 

[xelios]

Cars can't say no.

 

[Brobzoid]

saw a lovely documentary about people who had romantic relationships with objects some time ago. was a lady who was very much turned on by carnival rides and an archer who had a relationship with her bow, etc. fun fun fun.

 

[Loudninja]

Hahaha wow this guy is odd
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bAekG9VwQc

 

[Sethos]

 

[scar tissue]

but was it consensual or is he a car rapist?

 

[Zee-Row]

Do you stick it in the exhaust or the gas tank? Which one counts as anal?

 

[jdogmoney]

1000 cars?

Seems like he'd get tired.

 

[CHEEZMO™]

Autoerotica.

 

[Warrior_Keoni]

Oh my...I don't even know how to respond to even THIS.

 

[xelios]

Do you stick it in the exhaust or the gas tank? Which one counts as anal?

Anal is where the bad stuff comes out (exhaust). Gas tank would be the mouth because that's where the fuel goes in. Not sure where the vagina is.

 

[levious]

how did he get access to Airwolf?

 

[TabletopTictacs]

1000 cars?

Seems like he'd get tired.

He must be exhausted.

 

[TacticalFox88]

Wonder which one gave him the greatest ride of a lifetime

 

[ElRenoRaven]

That's just sad. I really feel sorry for him.

 

[sixteen-bit]

The fuck?

 

[Zee-Row]

Anal is where the bad stuff comes out (exhaust). Gas tank would be the mouth because that's where the fuel goes in. Not sure where the vagina is.

Makes me wonder what semen would do to the fuel injector.

 

[Corky]

I was going to write something along the lines of " lol crazy dude is crazy ".

But then I saw this :

and now I want to shake the mans hand. Look at it, who wouldn't tap that ass?

 

[DTLIONS1013]

I don't know if I should laugh or throw up

 

[CaLe]

Anal is where the bad stuff comes out (exhaust). Gas tank would be the mouth because that's where the fuel goes in. Not sure where the vagina is.

I applaud your detailed description.

 

[tiff]

an archer who had a relationship with her bow

that's hot

 

[Brobzoid]

two tail pipes though. do you take a tantra break and go for the other one, or do you just commit to one at a time?

 

[JGS]

The good news is this will result in more hybrids!

 

[ascii42]

Anal is where the bad stuff comes out (exhaust). Gas tank would be the mouth because that's where the fuel goes in. Not sure where the vagina is.

Well, since cars can't reproduce, I'd say there is no equiv...WAIT, why the hell am I even thinking about this?

 

[Loudninja]

two tail pipes though. do you take a tantra break and go for the other one, or do you just commit to one at a time?

Orgy baby.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

?

 

[Plasmid]

He's just kicking his sex life into gear.

 

[Brobzoid]

that's hot

Objectum Sexuality, Animism, Objectophilia (clip)

*splooge*

 

[Regulus Tera]

In a row?!

 

[SystemShock2]

What a pimp.

 

[revolverjgw]

"He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf. "

NICE. He's a lucky man.

 

[CaLe]

The good news is this will result in more hybrids!

I hope I'm not the only one who understood this excellent joke.

?

LOL. Yes... Times 1000.

 

[Uchip]

anyone made a joke about the backdoor yet?

 

[Dubble]

Gives new meaning to the phrase "Burn Rubber."

Also - since that picture he's with is a Herbie model - would you say his car is "fully loaded"? Of course, Herbie's been with Lindsey Lohan, so who knows how many diseases he's got. Poor thing.

 

[FairyD]

This man is a real road warrior. If he manages to get his stick shift in gear and it doesn't harm anyone then I can't ticket him. Maybe if he broke a tail light or two, but as long as his fluids are full and his motor is still working then I salute him.

 

[Government-man]

 

[From The Dust]

and now I want to shake the mans hand. Look at it, who wouldn't tap that ass?

yes. yes. a thousand times yes.

 

[kehs]

You could say this guy....likes to fuck cars.

 

[Salvor.Hardin]

Well I guess he's not hurting anyone.

I'm confused though - if I laugh am I being intolerant?

 

[Marleyman]

Immediately thought of the Cronenberg movie, "Crash" with Spader, Holly Hunter and others.

 

[Kaako]

Ahahaha wtf.

 

[ScOULaris]

I wonder if the car owners ever noticed the jizz dripping from their exhaust pipe.

 

[Electivirus]

I hope he didn't stick it in the tailpipe. I've heard cars are pretty gassy.

 

[krypt0nian]

In a row?

 

[Betta Lines]

No GT5 reference yet?

 

[SnakeswithLasers]

The David Cross is a dog car fucker.

 

[Silh]

Thought of this when I read the title.