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[Tommie Hu$tle]

If you said Australia, you win

Canberra doctors removed a 10-centimetre fork from inside an elderly man's penis after a bizarre sexual mishap.

The 70-year-old arrived at the Canberra Hospital emergency department with a bleeding sexual organ.
He told doctors he had inserted the 10cm dining fork into his urethra almost 12 hours earlier in an attempt to achieve sexual gratification.
But the utensil became stuck.
The fork was not visible but doctors were able to feel it from the outside and X-rays showed its position.
Doctors considered several retrieval options before deciding to pull the fork free using forceps and "copious lubrication" while the patient was under a general anaesthetic.
The elderly patient was then sent home.
The medical emergency was so rare the team of three doctors published the case in The International Journal of Surgery last month.
The paper, titled "An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body", said it was rare to see objects lodged in the lower urinary tract.
It went on to list strange objects found inside other parts of the body, including needles, pencils, wire, allen keys, toothbrushes, light bulbs, thermometers, plants and vegetables, leeches, snakes, cocaine and glue.
"It is apparent that the human mind is uninhibited let alone creative," the authors wrote.

The medical team – Krishanth Naidu, Maurice Mulcahy and Amanda Chung – said the fork case was published to create discussion among the medical fraternity "given the great management challenge faced by the oddity and infrequency with which a fork is encountered in the penile urethra".
The doctors said the motives for inserting objects into the sensitive region were difficult to comprehend.
"The practice manifests primarily during states of pathological masturbation, substance abuse and intoxication and as a result of psychological compounders.
"Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies has been existent since time immemorial and have presented an unusual but known presentation to urologists."
They said embarrassed patients usually attempted to retrieve the item themselves, risking urethral injury and foreign body migration.
The real danger was infection leading to death, because ashamed patients often delay medical treatment, they said.
Doctors generally try to avoid surgery in such situations, instead choosing an option that would minimise urothelial trauma and preserve erectile function.
The authors said self-inserted male urethral foreign bodies are rare emergencies that urological and general surgeons face on occasion.
While the insertions are unusual, the paper said "any imaginable object is known to be implicated".

 

[Codernaut]

GAF.

 

[Sober]

Well Australia is back in the game. Was sad recent news was all F/F/F

 

[Stinkles]

He was just passing the tine.

 

[Phire Phox]

Guess he was trying to eat a dick

 

[Yagharek]

A?

Score.

No half measures here.

 

[Intheflorsh]

I don't think "lodged" accurately describes how far in that fork is.

 

[PartTimeWarrior]

Stick a fork in me I'm done

 

[Derwind]

Enough with these penis related tragedies. My groin can't take much more. I've gotten a condition from wincing and grabbing at my package too tight. Next thread is on me.

 

[freenudemacusers]

pretty impressive. I can only get 9cm of fork in me.

 

[AnathemicOne]

Yeah... time to clear my mind by watching some porn instead of relying on imagination... lol

 

[Speedy Blue Dude]

Sorry that this isn't actually a relevant post, but it's been bugging me for a while now... What does G/A/F mean in threads?

I thought it meant like (GAF? Is this news about a GAF member?)

then I thought it meant Guess And Find-out.

now it seems like it stands for G_____ Australia Florida?

 

[Mistouze]

Sorry that this isn't actually a relevant post, but it's been bugging me for a while now... What does G/A/F mean in threads?

I thought it meant like (GAF? Is this news about a GAF member?)

then I thought it meant Guess And Find-out.

now it seems like it stands for G_____ Australia Florida?

Germany.

It's because those three countries/states seem to be the main sources of weird news

 

[Talladega Knight]

why buy the milk when you can get forked for free?

 

[Tommie Hu$tle]

Sorry that this isn't actually a relevant post, but it's been bugging me for a while now... What does G/A/F mean in threads?

I thought it meant like (GAF? Is this news about a GAF member?)

then I thought it meant Guess And Find-out.

now it seems like it stands for G_____ Australia Florida?

For a while Austria had the A position but Australia was the main source of weird news for a long time before Flordia's weird new power level went above 9000.

 

[OttomanScribe]

Not even the 'Territory News. Crazy.

 

[Firehead]

Sounding like pain.

 

[Jake.]

 

[freenudemacusers]

you are my hero

 

[Drazgul]

What a noob, if you're doing urethral stuffing with a fork, you're not supposed to put the fork end in first.

 

[ASTROID2]

Oh god. How does one even do that? Why would someone do that?

 

[nhlducks35]

 

[Wafflecakes]

Oh god.

How is it even possible?

 

[tali'zorah84]

I'm right near where this happened. Jesus Christ why how do you even fit that in there

 

[Sword Familiar]

Things to do before I die:

1. Earn a million dollars.
2. Marry a beautiful woman.
3. Insert a fork into my penis.
4. Get a house.

 

[LordCanti]

Forking is dangerous guys. Stick to spooning.

 

[clockworkinyou]

Forking is dangerous guys. Stick to spooning.

Spooning leads to forking.

 

[Chanser]

There's definitely videos out there men inserting a metal pole down their shaft, this one takes it to a new level.

 

[ComputerMKII]

Dammit, I thought it was Germany.

 

[Drazgul]

Forking is dangerous guys. Stick to spooning.

I hear some programmers like to fork off regularly.

 

[wsoxfan1214]

Spooning leads to forking.

and forking leads to...

 

[Aurongel]

Kids in the sandbox...?

 

[DerZuhälter]

 

[akira28]

I was fooled. I thought...penis...foreign object... apparent masochism...obviously Germany. But huh. Australians.

 

[Conor_Fool]

There's definitely videos out there men inserting a metal pole down their shaft, this one takes it to a new level.

I always tell myself that is fake

 

[Drazgul]

I always tell myself that is fake

It's actually a valid medical procedure, but of course some people have gone ahead and fetishized it.

 

[Red Liquorice]

Sounding like pain.

I see what you did there.


This is why I would never try sounding. Why anyone would do it with a fork, well that's just stupid.

 

[Blue Ninja]

Dammit, I said Florida.

 

[dejay]

I win! Picked it like a dirty asshole.

Also - Canberra, lol.

He was just passing the tine.

Niiiiice.

 

[DominoKid]

how???

 

[The Janitor]

He told doctors he had inserted the 10cm dining fork into his urethra almost 12 hours earlier in an attempt to achieve sexual gratification.

You're doing it wrong...

 

[mr_nothin]

That X-Ray.....WTF!!! I dont get how you can do that

 

[LordCanti]

That X-Ray.....WTF!!! I dont get how you can do that

Lube and a high tolerance for pain.

 

[hidys]

Oh Jesus Christ that looks exceptionally painful...

Spoiler

I hope he achieved climax at least

 

[ComputerMKII]

I was fooled. I thought...penis...foreign object... apparent masochism...obviously Germany. But huh. Australians.

Yeah, me too.

 

[PaulloDEC]

Seriously, the whole damn fork? Did it really take the whole thing for him to realise he wasn't going to get off?

 

[Quackula]

I know people sometimes do crazy and weird stuff for sexual gratification but sticking things in your urethra has to be by far the most disturbing for me. I can't even fathom how someone can want to do something like that.

This is almost as horrible as that story about the old lady who apparently had been having sex through her urethra for like 50 years.

 

[MIMIC]

The 70-year-old arrived at the Canberra Hospital emergency department with a bleeding sexual organ.
He told doctors he had inserted the 10cm dining fork into his urethra almost 12 hours earlier in an attempt to achieve sexual gratification.

I nope'd. I cringed. I cried.

 

[Dead Man]

Guessed Germany. Also, fuck that. I will never understand the appeal of sounding.

 

[foxuzamaki]

I feel vulnerable