Married 3 Years... It Is Tough Not To Kiss Other Women

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BojTrek

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I have been married for 3 years, I have never cheated on my wife or any other girlfriend in the past.

The wife and I struggle with our sex life... besides that, we have a great relationship...

Anyways, I had a 20 year, 8th. grade reunion... I saw the girl I dated one year before meeting my wife... we joked about our past dates and why I stopped calling her...

I joked "remember we used to kiss" and she said "we would kiss again if you weren't married"... That actually made "it" move as George would say... and "it" did...

Marriage is tough, but I am glad I don't let things ever get out of hand with any other woman... but I really love to smell, kiss, taste women... DAMN...
 
For three years they've been married
they don't get along so good
they're tired of each other
you know how that goes
she got a different lover
same old thang </hendrix>
 
I hear ya. I only have a steady girlfriend that i've been with for a while now, but I just started a new job where the ladies are extremely attractive. I'm scared of the thought of never being able to experience the beginning of a relationship (the best part IMO, where everythign is new, and you're extremely into each other) ever again. My girl is great, but it's getting a bit too comfortable in my mind, and i'm not as into her as I once was.
 
You people suck at marriage and relationships. The bond that a strong long good marriage/relationship has kicks the shit out of that beginning goody two shoes feeling of a relationship.
 
Funny this is coming up now-- this issue just hit with a friend of mine, reminding me of the only "incident" I ever had in my marriage. Not too serious, but still a big deal.

I'd ask you to consider this-- what in your relationship isn't satisfying to you, so that another woman is appealing? A lot of times there's frustration or unexpressed feelings underneath flirtaions and attratction like this. Getting those out in the open can lead to a much, much more satisfying relationship. After said incident, my wife and I uncovered a lot of feelings, judgments, desires we hadn't talked about, and we are way, way happier than before (and I thought we were pretty happy then).
 
DarienA said:
You people suck at marriage and relationships. The bond that a strong long good marriage/relationship has kicks the shit out of that beginning goody two shoes feeling of a relationship.
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I'm going to go against GAF logic.. but IAWTP.
 
DarienA said:
You people suck at marriage and relationships. The bond that a strong long good marriage/relationship has kicks the shit out of that beginning goody two shoes feeling of a relationship.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's just the relationship I'm in. Or maybe I do suck at relationships. Couldn't tell ya.
 
I agree with Darien too. That initial high is cool and all-- but nothing like the feeling you get re-reaching it with somebody you have a strong bond with already. You should be asking yourself what you're selling out or settling for if you don't re-aquire that feeling regularly.
 
I don't think we suck in our relationship... we are just weak in the sexual arena...

She is not agressive and I am not agressive either... we do discuss things, so hopefully it will get better... we at least know we have a problem... good starting point...

But I would have loved to make-out with this other chick again... do they still say making out? Am I getting old??? 34 years old!
 
Boj, I think what you're describing is very common. I am serious in asking you to consider what's missing in your relationship. Sex is usually just the symptom.

It might be someting you consider no big deal, or outrageous to expect-- but I would bet there's something you wish you had in the relationship other than sex that isn't there.
 
It's strange. When you're single, it's hard to find a female, but when you're with someone, they come out of the woodwork.
 
BojTrek said:
I don't think we suck in our relationship... we are just weak in the sexual arena...

She is not agressive and I am not agressive either... we do discuss things, so hopefully it will get better... we at least know we have a problem... good starting point...

But I would have loved to make-out with this other chick again... do they still say making out? Am I getting old??? 34 years old!
Click to expand...


If no kids, try living naked for a while. If there's any attraction still there, the signs will be clearly visible. And there's nothing like catching her bending over in the fridge - food and sex!
 
mrmyth said:
If no kids, try living naked for a while. If there's any attraction still there, the signs will be clearly visible. And there's nothing like catching her bending over in the fridge - food and sex!
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IAWTP walking around the house naked or even sleeping naked has led to many fun times at the ole homestead!
 
15 month old baby girl and baby #2 is baking in the oven...

Her exact words when we found out we were pregnant again "great, no sex for 9 more months" NICE!
 
Boj, I'm telling you, sex is just the symptom.


....and-- what do you mean no sex? You can have sex when you're pregnant. It can even help stimulate labor if you're late (I know.)
 
Ignatz Mouse said:
Boj, I'm telling you, sex is just the symptom.


....and-- what do you mean no sex? You can have sex when you're pregnant. It can even help stimulate labor if you're late (I know.)
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True and after the birth you'll only have to go about 6 weeks with no sex. Of course if you have a wife that is willing and able... intercourse isn't the only option... life is good....
 
DarienA said:
True and after the birth you'll only have to go about 6 weeks with no sex. Of course if you have a wife that is willing and able... intercourse isn't the only option... life is good....
Click to expand...


5 weeks and 5 days as of today.... :)

And as Billy Bragg says:

"Safe sex doesn't mean no sex
It just means
Use your imagination."
 
BojTrek said:
15 month old baby girl and baby #2 is baking in the oven...

Her exact words when we found out we were pregnant again "great, no sex for 9 more months" NICE!
Click to expand...

Are you telling me that your wife did not get at all horny at any point during her first pregnancy? Yeah, you got some major sexual issues to work through. I feel for you.
 
levious said:
Are you telling me that your wife did not get at all horny at any point during her first pregnancy? Yeah, you got some major sexual issues to work through. I feel for you.
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I remember when mine did... *roar*. ;)
 
We know that... she was just kidding around... but we seriously have sex 1-2 times a month... of course I get it once every day...

And believe it or not, this next baby was created on our first attempt after getting off the pill... my luck... we thought we have to go 2-3 times a week before we got pregnant...
 
BojTrek said:
15 month old baby girl and baby #2 is baking in the oven...

Her exact words when we found out we were pregnant again "great, no sex for 9 more months" NICE!
Click to expand...


despair.jpg

choke%20the%20chkn%20pic.jpg

man_thumbs_up.jpg
 
*roar* indeed.

Boj: "Getting it every day" may be a big part of your problem. It you're whacking off every day, no wonder you're not aggressive.
 
I've never been one to argue that sexual compatibility is overrated in a marriage. I'd say it's the single most important thing to power a long relationship (this is not including falling in love as a prerequisite). Any senior age couple I've met that seem genuinely happy are those that also sicken average people, "ewwww, they kiss and touch in public." Yeah, but they've probably been having a consistent sex life for 40 or so years, kudos to them. Then there's the older couples that are just married cause they've always been married. You never see more a quick peck of a kiss, no holding hands, no dancing. They don't seem happy.

- 1-2 times a month... I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!!!
 
And those penis pills never worked... DAMN... ;)

No wonder she laughs when I get undressed...

I cannot believe she said "that's it?"





You know what... if you cannot joke about... we would be divorced by now... I am going to buy a sex book at lunch... we will have to do one move in the book at week or twice a week...
 
BojTrek said:
You know what... if you cannot joke about... we would be divorced by now... I am going to buy a sex book at lunch... we will have to do one move in the book at week or twice a week...
Click to expand...

That reminds me... a few weeks ago the missus comes up to me and tells me... BTW when you pay the DirecTV bill if you notice a porno on the bill... that was me I ordered it... I was really disappointed.

So I explained to her the difference between the soft porn stuff she's gonna see there vs. the hardcore stuff.

Hilarious conversation. I could tell you some other stories about stuff she's done... but I like living. ;)
 
DarienA said:
IAWTP walking around the house naked or even sleeping naked has led to many fun times at the ole homestead!
Click to expand...

IAWTP. Naked time rules.

Just don't eat Mexican food before naked time.
 
Boj, dude: lay off the wank (if that's what you meant) and let your urges do the rest. You don't need a book.


Oh, and I've been sleeping naked/walking around naked my whole adult life. Is *that* why the sex life is still so good?
 
Doth Togo said:
IAWTP. Naked time rules.

Just don't eat Mexican food before naked time.
Click to expand...



Add citrus and Szechuan chicken to that list. Certain places should not be touched if you still have lemon juice on your fingers.
 
Wow. For a seventeen year old reader of Gaming-Age OT...it pretty much is a clear hint that one should never persue marriage. Is there any good things about marriage at all? Does anyone feel that these good things outweigh all the seemingly bad things?
 
Cool said:
Wow. For a seventeen year old reader of Gaming-Age OT...it pretty much is a clear hint that one should never persue marriage. Is there any good things about marriage at all? Does anyone feel that these good things outweigh all the seemingly bad things?
Click to expand...

Who's talking about bad stuff outside of BojTrek...

I get sex... regularly, from an attractive woman.

Go out there and make it work.
 
Cool, are you selectively reading? I'm been married for 10+ years, and the post-baby 6 week period is the longest I've gone without in 13+. Twice in a month is way low.


Marriage rocks, if you keep up the bond and communicate, the sex drive is right there. Too many couples fail to do so, but that's not a result of marriage. That's just settling for less and falling into a rut.
 
Cool said:
Wow. For a seventeen year old reader of Gaming-Age OT...it pretty much is a clear hint that one should never persue marriage. Is there any good things about marriage at all? Does anyone feel that these good things outweigh all the seemingly bad things?
Click to expand...

Selective reading... primary disability of most readers of GAF.

http://photos.yahoo.com/dezign

I'd post photos of me and the missus on our Florida vacation but that would violate my own rule of posting photos here.
 
Something to add: some people (women especially) are just not all that interested in sex. If you happen to be dating/married to one of these kind of women, it doesn't necessarily indicate a failure on your part.
 
human5892 said:
Something to add: some people (women especially) are just not all that interested in sex. If you happen to be dating/married to one of these kind of women, it doesn't necessarily indicate a failure on your part.
Click to expand...

I think that would be failure to make a good choice in a partner.
 
I hate to sound shallow but no sex would be a deal breaker for me. Emotions are important but so is sex. I tip my hat to you guys who are married I don't see myself doing it for quite a while. No kids either. I want kids but this ain't the 50's where I can get married and have a wife who will cook, clean, and take care of the kids without me helping out. Until I feel like taking care of someone other than myself I will remain vice-chair of the Boston chapter of No Ma'am. :lol

And for all you youngins who don't have a wise older non-married male to seek advice from here is some reading material.... http://www.nomarriage.com/
 
This is why you DON'T GET MARRIED!!

Monogamy is unnatural IMO, at least for extended periods. I think your feelings of longing for other women are just part of your genetic makeup, but society and it's institutions (like marriage) teach us to feel guilty for wanting what we're naturally conditioned to desire. It's nonsense. We're built to spread our seed, and IMO no amount of religion or self denial can limit those urges. In your case, I'd suggest making friends with fantasy, porn, and Jergins if you want to remain commited. Else you're on a crash course for cheating and/or divorce.
 
Cool said:
Wow. For a seventeen year old reader of Gaming-Age OT...it pretty much is a clear hint that one should never persue marriage. Is there any good things about marriage at all? Does anyone feel that these good things outweigh all the seemingly bad things?
Click to expand...
i believe by law a husband can never be accused of raping his wife. so yes, there are things to look forward to.
 
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