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D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Jesus dude I usually take a 10/10mg before bed not before I need to be productive hahaha
BadBurger
Banned
I am in meeting. Remaining quiet. This is amazing.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
I’m in an in person meeting with my CEO and a billionaire in about an hour, just the thought of being stoned for that makes my palms sweat
haxan7
Banned
I may be a cock warmer but at least I'm not a cock raiser
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
I got to meet a Boston Dynamics robot dog today.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Did it hump your leg?
nush
Member
haxan7
Banned
don't project your old man problems on meAs in you can't get it up?
Richard Packer
Member
nush
Member
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
I have to drink and fuck like a pornstar, otherwise my Yelp reviews go down. Can't have that.
Erdrick
Member
I don't recall him causing any major issues other than giving some other users the opportunity to suck up to certain mods. If you think he was the "biggest burnout of GAF" you clearly haven't been here long.
Explain.
Richard Packer
Member
Shut the fuck up.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Peggies
Gold Member
Isn't a cock raiser a good thing? Like you raise cocks because of your appearance and awesomeness?
And what's a cock warmer anyway?
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Peggies
Gold Member
Putonahappyface
Gold Member
haxan7
Banned
I just had a PTSD flashback of a video I watched involving a frying pan and a cock.
Richard Packer
Member
Was it one of my home videos?
haxan7
Banned
I hope not. The cock didn't make it.
Richard Packer
Member
I remember Jeremy.
Richard Packer
Member
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D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Not fondly.
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Sausage night at the Packer’s.
Richard Packer
Member
It is Wednesday afterall.
IbizaPocholo
NeoGAFs Kent Brockman
Putonahappyface
Gold Member
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Doing OCR on 122 big PDFs on my work laptop…I love the smell of melting silicon in the morning…
haxan7
Banned
I did an OCR once
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
I bought Death Stranding DC on Steam last night because it was on sale and I guess I hate myself.
Just finished downloading on the Deck!
Just finished downloading on the Deck!
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Boss: make a PPT for the bigwigs, 4-5 slides about your portfolio. You’ll have 15 mins.
Me: does that & shares with boss for review
Boss: this is great, now triple the slide count by updating on all these specific topics
Me: do we get more time to present?
Boss: no
Nothing like spending half day on a presentation you’ll skip most of.
Me: does that & shares with boss for review
Boss: this is great, now triple the slide count by updating on all these specific topics
Me: do we get more time to present?
Boss: no
Nothing like spending half day on a presentation you’ll skip most of.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
I had two project managers set up appointments with me today for seemingly different topics that ended up being me saying (more or less) “how the hell did you get this far along without consulting me on the plans??”
It’s in multiple procedures that prior to executing certain project phases my function needs to sign off on a plan approving various aspects…and both project managers were like “uhh I didn’t know that…”
K well all this stuff you’re confused about would’ve been discussed and put down in that document had you consulted me earlier. I really hope you don’t have to go alter the timelines you’ve communicated based on my feedback now because it’s your ass on the line for that, not mine
It’s nice I can perform my job remotely and such but I feel like these situations could be avoided if I was down in the manufacturing plant like I used to be instead of my ivory tower downtown. Although 3/4ths of these guys are out of state anyway…
Peggies
Gold Member
BadBurger
Banned
How my day went earlier:
Coworker: Hey yesterday we couldn't figure out THING. So can you take a look at it? Here's the incident
Me: Uh, no. Why didn't you fix it? Or if you couldn't escalate it properly. I have a mountain of code and other shit to go through
Coworker (goes and complains to boss): Burger isn't being a team player
Me (in my head): Bitch I will shove my entire foot up your lazy incompetent ass (also me, but via email): <insert calm, professional explanation for why I am not doing other people's work for them, but with enough edge to hint to the readers that I am not fucking around>
My Boss: <quietly assigns the task/problem to the appropriate group>
I wish I could hit the lottery and retire. I know I shouldn't complain given how so many people have it hard in the world and I am working White Collar McPays Too Much job, but I just want to stop. I want to be like John Carpenter and retire early to play video games, smoke weed, and maybe make some music.
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
This is the dream my friend.
Richard Packer
Member
I want to be a storm chaser and jerk off while looking into the eye of a tornado.
Peggies
Gold Member
Yes, me too. Like Helen Hunt in Twister!
nush
Member
See, this is why I keep every nice looking spreadsheet and PPT that hits my inbox going back over ten years. Change logo, images and a bit of text editing and it's good to go. Nobody has ever questioned why the style of each them is wildly different, probably because they don't actually care and they just want something that looks nice.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
That's easy I did that yesterday. Just replace "storm" with "chubby", "tornado" with "overweight female authority figure", and "jerk off" with "jerk off furiously".
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
(Mods plz delete if considered porn)
Last edited by a moderator:
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Well I wasn’t going to rub one out before heading into the office today but now I can’t help myself.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Second best thing would be getting a Starlink and taking a travel trailer around the country with the family all summer. I was actually introduced to a consultant who does what I do and she does just that. Sold her house even, and just drives a huge RV around and works remotely.
I’m not down to sell the house but I’d totally be up for doing that a couple months out of the year. And I think I’m in a spot where I could actually tell the bosses I’m doing that and they’d be fine with it. I just need to find a trailer big enough to be comfortable but light enough for my 1500 to pull it…or upgrade the truck too
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