Mike Works presents: Let's not mess with other threads ever again

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After defeating the three headed dog with the Ocarina they stole from the fat guy they open the cellar door.

They drop the key with which they opened the cellar door down to see how long it takes to fall. Once the barely audible ping is heard with the opposite of a roar, they estimate that it is, roughly speaking, 100 feet down.

Harry, being the brave one, jumps down first and splats on the concrete below.

Hearing the sickening sounds of bone crunching the chic and the ginger slowly back away while still playing the Ocarina to keep the Cerebus knock off asleep.

*The Scene fades out as Vol... He who must not be named comes up behind the kids.*

CUT
 
Spiderman 3:

Peter hears the news that Gwen Stacy is being taken hostage by The Sandman and Venom. Wearing the Spiderman suit, he swings and leaps from the buildings of New York, trying to reach as fast as he can to the construction site, not knowing what challenges lies ahead of him. People on the ground and in awe, confused and terrified to see the scene: Gwen Stacy tied upside down on a crane hanging by venom's web. The NYPD and Gwen's father can only sit and watch the non-negotiable hostage scene. There is no ransom. They want Spiderman. Police choppers hover over the ground as they report the situation from above.

Spiderman comes swinging to the scene as the crowd looks upon and cheer. The sandman erupts from the ground and transforms into a Goliath. Spiderman swings from one platform to another dodging his every move. The Sandman swings his arm, barely missing Spidey as he shoots his web onto the chopper and starts spinning around. Sandman, taking the opportunity, swings at the chopper. The blades of the chopper crumbles Sandman's arm but the sacrifice was worth the trouble. Sandman roars in agony as the chopper loses control, descending to the ground taking the unbalance Spider-man along with it. It crashes into the building as debris fall to the ground over the crowd. The crowd runs for cover.

A child screams as he looks at the pieces fall from the sky. Captain Stacy, looking at the situation, runs for the scene. He leaps to cover the boy - and paid for his act of heroism with his own life. Gwen looks at the scene from up above and screams as she witnesses the incident. Spider-man, hanging by a ledge of the building, bruised, witnesses it all. He swings down to help the Captain Stacy. Paramedic is seen rushes to the scene. "Be good to her, son! Be good... to her. She loves you... so very much." Captain Stacy utters his final words to Spider-man as the paramedic take him away in an ambulance,

*From here onwards, the Harry/Peter tag-team kicks in while the fire department sprays water on Sandman to make him unstable.*

*Venom enters the scene as usual and takes on Spider-man.*

Venom, putting more mental pressure on Spider-man, cuts the web holding Gwen. Gwen Stacy falls, screaming. Spider-man catches her by her leg with a string of web, barely preventing her from being crushed. He lands the unconscious down on the ground while cops and paramedics surround her and he leaves the scene to confront venom.

*From here onwards, the usual Spiderman/Venom battle kicks in. Venom is separated by the Symbiote* Eddie Brock jumps in to bond with the Symbiote but Spider-man shoots his web and pulls him back. Eddie screams as the Symbiote explodes.

Sandman escapes after being defeated. Harry confronts Spiderman and tells him the news that Gwen Stacy died after snapping her neck. Spiderman dazed and confused denies Harry's words because he is unsure whether the whiplash from her sudden stop broke her neck or if the fall killed her, but he blames himself for her death regardless.

Thus, this becomes the most emo-istic event in Spider-man's life, and he becomes The Dark Knight...


...
 
The Shining

Wendy methodically climbed the stairs for what seemed like the ten thousandth time. Breakfast in bed. Breakfast in bed. Breakfast in bed she quietly said as each foot pressed against the patterned carpet. Breakfast in bed. Breakfast in bed at fucking three o'clock in the afternoon.

What had happened to her family?

Even after ten thousand times (or was it ten thousand and one now?), Wendy still had trouble keeping the tray level. She couldn't spill the orange juice again. She just couldn't.

A light thud seemed to gently echo through the door as Wendy raised from setting the meal on the floor. She never understood why she was always so nervous, but her hands yet again passively shook as she put the key into the lock.

She used to watch it with Danny. That was the only thought that could permeate through her frozen mind. The Muppets. Fozzy Bear. She used to watch it with Danny.

The man was adorned in a full body bear suit. Not like the one you see in shitty low budget movies. It was softer. Like shag carpet. Something to hold on to. Pressing him against the bed on all fours was Jack Torrance. That's Mr. Torrance to you.

His tan lines were gone from the winter seclusion. His body hair couldn't even offer color or the faintest of shadows. All Wendy could see was a white streak repeatedly slamming into the backside of this... Bear.

Instincts took over and Wendy grabbed the bat. She wasn't the most popular girl growing up, but she never understood why she was picked last in gym class. She expertly choked half way up the bat and swung with all her might.

She didn't hear a swoosh. She didn't feel a recoil. Her limp-wristed technique barely registered to the two entwined man. The pale and sweaty man slowly turned his head.

"Wendy. Darling."

Wendy spun towards the door and before her feet could leave that cursed floor, she came face to face with a new presence.

"Have you seen him?"

She heard the roar. But she could feel no more. Dr. Grant disappeared into the horizon as her eyes rolled back.

The velociraptor seemed almost complacent as it leaned over to devour her severed head.
 
Day 17 - Pretend You Know Something About Sports

As everyone who frequents the Off Topic Forum is aware, there are 4 stickied sports threads (5 if you count the olympics one, but we're not counting that today) at the top of the first page; NFL (football), MLB (baseball), NHL (hockey), NBA (basketball).

Today's task is to go into one of those threads, any one, and start talking about the wrong sport. Doesn't matter if you know a lot about the sport or nothing at all. You can go into the hockey thread and talk about the ruling to allow umpires to use instant replay. You can go into the basketball thread and post nothing but TOUCHDOWN! Doesn't matter, as long as you get the sport wrong.

To keep this thread going all day today, post anything funny that comes out of this in this thread.

Go!
 
OatmealMu said:
I do believe this calls for an extended fake argument.

*sits back and watches closely*

*contributed myself*
 
josephdebono said:
uuuuh! threeway!

Someone has to be less aggressive than you guys xD
You are totally getting heated up =p

Zep's Avatar

#9621
Why is this shit in the NBA thread?
 
lol.

I'm actually scared of getting banned at this point.

OatmealMu: What are you talking about? Baseball? I really have no idea.
 
josephdebono said:
lol.

I'm actually scared of getting banned at this point.

OatmealMu: What are you talking about? Baseball? I really have no idea.

Maybe we should stop stirring the pot up :D

btw that thing with the rectangular balls got me :lol
 
josephdebono said:
Or just change to the NFL thread?

:lol

Hoooly shit.
Todays task: "Everybody is up for making the biggest possible meltdown in every sports thread by posting stupid stuff about a different sport"

Another confused guy in the NBA thread ^^
Okay just start in a different thread and I'll join ;)
 
ToxicAdam said:
Once I saw Cricket being posted in the baseball thread, I knew this thread was up to shennanigans. Came here and I was right.

But dont tell :lol

instead.

JOIN US!
 
Starchasing said:
lets take a break from the other threads and then come a little more stealthy

Yes you all must refine your fake troll skills. Go read some Drinky Crow or drohne posts in the archives, that's all you'll need to know :lol
 
Starchasing said:
lets take a break from the other threads and then come a little more stealthy

a litte more stealthy? Well.. I dont know about you but the moment we are talking about a different sport everybody WILL get confused. especially when they know thats something fishy going on :lol
 
josephdebono said:
God I love this thread.

Same here. Actually I am thinking about copying this thread to a different forum to try out whether something like this is going to be accepted everywhere. But Mike really got me with his idea of "It should work that way that people come here and see whether they want to take the task or not".

Awesome idea. Hope the thread wont die in the nearer future.
 
I think th ebest approach would be:

1) Pick a thread that hasnt been trolled

2) The first troll must be some one that knows a lot about the sport. That way he can make it stealthy.

3) Wait for answers then the rest of us can join

:D
 
Toma said:
Same here. Actually I am thinking about copying this thread to a different forum to try out whether something like this is going to be accepted everywhere. But Mike really got me with his idea of "It should work that way that people come here and see whether they want to take the task or not".

Awesome idea. Hope the thread wont die in the nearer future.

Instructions and this communication should really be moved off-site though. It's too easy to find out what was going on.

The GAF trivia thread was awesome...
 
:lol Eventually this is going to get to a point where everyone is going to have to visit the Wike Works thread on a daily basis before posting on Gaf
 
AVclub said:
The assignment wasn't to troll anyone. It was to post about a different sport in a specific sports thread. Personally, I think trolling and disrupting other threads has already been done. I really hope this thread doesn't devolve into "Post a photoshop today. Troll a thread tomorrow."

Anyway, here's my submission: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=12482919&postcount=23951

well its not trolling per se but its something pretty close
 
Son of Godzilla said:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=12483115&postcount=66993

Am I doing this right?

Actually I had wanted to do a confusing WAR for WoW thing, but I couldn't even find the damn WAR topic.
Dude, did you read the assignment at all?

Starchasing said:
well its not trolling per se but its something pretty close
Yeah, there's a fine line between trying to ruin people's enjoyment for your own and participating in a light-hearted activity thread. Some people in this thread seem all too happy to ruin legitimate discussion with impunity. I really don't see the fun in that.

Son of Godzilla said:
eSports yo. Limiting the thing to 4 threads would kill this idea in no time.
Maybe that's not such a bad thing?
 
AVclub said:
Yeah, there's a fine line between trying to ruin people's enjoyment for your own and participating in a light-hearted activity thread. Some people in this thread seem all too happy to ruin legitimate discussion with impunity. I really don't see the fun in that.

I dunno if this was done to me i would laugh...

could you imagine some people doing that to this very thread?!?!? LOL
 
AVclub said:
Yeah, there's a fine line between trying to ruin people's enjoyment for your own and participating in a light-hearted activity thread. Some people in this thread seem all too happy to ruin legitimate discussion with impunity. I really don't see the fun in that.

Oh come on we didn't even interfere with the existing discussions. We just poked a little random into a waaaay too vast thread.
 
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