shoplifter
Member
sefskillz said:
bonus points for telling her you changed your mind, and acting like you didn't know.
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Mother of God. I just broke up with my girl of almost 2 years
- Thread starter Leon
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bonus points for telling her you changed your mind, and acting like you didn't know.
ScientificNinja
Member
Honestly, I'd like to know a few more details before I say anything more.
Who did the breaking up, you or her?
If she's become despondent and ambivalent, she's clearly unhappy about something, and maybe all she wanted was a shoulder to cry on. Or was she feeling guilty about cheating on you? What was the dispute about?
Who did the breaking up, you or her?
If she's become despondent and ambivalent, she's clearly unhappy about something, and maybe all she wanted was a shoulder to cry on. Or was she feeling guilty about cheating on you? What was the dispute about?
Who knows why she changed. That's not important. People change all the time for the most ridiculous of reasons, it's just one of those unpredictable aspects of life that you just have to deal with.
2 weeks is a damn long time to be acting apathetic. I *hate* when my girlfriend is apathetic towards me. One time she made me a little angry, and when I brought it up with her she just brushed it off like it was nothing, and that made me 10000x angrier. I said next time she treats me and my feelings like nothing then the relationship is over.
In your situation, I probably would've tried talking to her for a couple of days, if I noticed she wasn't into it, then I'd call see if she's enthusiastic, if not, just say "ttyl" and be done with it. That happens a few more days, and I'd just stop calling her for a week. If she never called in that time I'd call her up and say "Ok, I guess it's over" and that'll be that.
You waited a long time, and you dealt with something you shouldn't ever have to for a long damn time. You did your duty. You tried. She didn't. You broke it off, and that's it. It sucks. It hurts. But you did the right thing. Don't think about how stupid she is now, just know that she is for whatever reason and work through all your pain and frustration so that you can start healing.
2 weeks is a damn long time to be acting apathetic. I *hate* when my girlfriend is apathetic towards me. One time she made me a little angry, and when I brought it up with her she just brushed it off like it was nothing, and that made me 10000x angrier. I said next time she treats me and my feelings like nothing then the relationship is over.
In your situation, I probably would've tried talking to her for a couple of days, if I noticed she wasn't into it, then I'd call see if she's enthusiastic, if not, just say "ttyl" and be done with it. That happens a few more days, and I'd just stop calling her for a week. If she never called in that time I'd call her up and say "Ok, I guess it's over" and that'll be that.
You waited a long time, and you dealt with something you shouldn't ever have to for a long damn time. You did your duty. You tried. She didn't. You broke it off, and that's it. It sucks. It hurts. But you did the right thing. Don't think about how stupid she is now, just know that she is for whatever reason and work through all your pain and frustration so that you can start healing.
DaCocoBrova
Finally bought a new PSP, but then pushed the demon onto someone else. Jesus.
For the record... All woman get 'brand new' between the ages of 22 and 25. Get 'em earlier and brace yourself or wait and skip the drama altoghether.
Wow... Are you a motivational speaker or somthing? lol! You're good.
Wow... Are you a motivational speaker or somthing? lol! You're good.
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
I'm sorry, I think almost all of us have been there. It is her fault for not trying to work it out, you don't want to be with someone that just runs away at the first sign of a problem.
Right now I think you need some time to yourself. Do something other than thinking about it, as hard as that is. Your not going to get anything out of thinking about why she did it, we will never understand why women do the things they do. And Im sure some of them will never understand men, guys do just as much shitty stuff to women. But men are more predictable, women tend to hide that inner evil until later on down the road.
My ex came back claiming that she got scared about how close we were getting and she was sorry about what she did. She wanted me to forgive her and went into this sob story about how she didn't want me to hurt her and had never had anyone know her like I did. But you know what, as much as I care about her, those are just words....nothing more. She left me when I needed her most. I was on a trial of medications for insomnia and was feeling kinda emotional sometimes, school was wrapping up and I had to get some college application in quickly, and I was getting ready to move out of the house. I was stressed out and she just added to that by giving me a very lame excuse for putting our relationship on hold. I know I was closer to her than anyone had been before, and I can even understand her getting scared, but thats no excuse for what she did...and then what started happening months after that, but thats another story all together.
I mean you think about the sweet moments like how we spent 8 hours straight on the phone during Thanksgiving because we couldn't be together, or going to the movies, or going out to lunch. But for some reason 1000 amazing and wonderful memories can be overshadowed by 1 painful experience. You remember pain and hurt a lot easier than pleasure, at least in my case.
I can forgive, but I sure as hell don't forget. Thats just the way I live my life.
Right now I think you need some time to yourself. Do something other than thinking about it, as hard as that is. Your not going to get anything out of thinking about why she did it, we will never understand why women do the things they do. And Im sure some of them will never understand men, guys do just as much shitty stuff to women. But men are more predictable, women tend to hide that inner evil until later on down the road.
My ex came back claiming that she got scared about how close we were getting and she was sorry about what she did. She wanted me to forgive her and went into this sob story about how she didn't want me to hurt her and had never had anyone know her like I did. But you know what, as much as I care about her, those are just words....nothing more. She left me when I needed her most. I was on a trial of medications for insomnia and was feeling kinda emotional sometimes, school was wrapping up and I had to get some college application in quickly, and I was getting ready to move out of the house. I was stressed out and she just added to that by giving me a very lame excuse for putting our relationship on hold. I know I was closer to her than anyone had been before, and I can even understand her getting scared, but thats no excuse for what she did...and then what started happening months after that, but thats another story all together.
I mean you think about the sweet moments like how we spent 8 hours straight on the phone during Thanksgiving because we couldn't be together, or going to the movies, or going out to lunch. But for some reason 1000 amazing and wonderful memories can be overshadowed by 1 painful experience. You remember pain and hurt a lot easier than pleasure, at least in my case.
I can forgive, but I sure as hell don't forget. Thats just the way I live my life.
CavemanLawyer
Member
I think this thread is evidence that there are A LOT of people that go through similar circumstances and most of them are better off 2-3 months later.
One month later I still cherish all the awesome memories I had with her. Heck, I haven't moved any of the pictures I have of her and me that are sprayed around my room and house. Probably not the best idea for a lot of people, but it works for me. No way in hell that I would get back together with her, but I loved the times we had together.
It is also amazing how many of my friends pointed out flaws about her that I had never noticed before. I was blindly in love and it wasn't until after we broke up that I saw her as something other than perfect.
One month later I still cherish all the awesome memories I had with her. Heck, I haven't moved any of the pictures I have of her and me that are sprayed around my room and house. Probably not the best idea for a lot of people, but it works for me. No way in hell that I would get back together with her, but I loved the times we had together.
It is also amazing how many of my friends pointed out flaws about her that I had never noticed before. I was blindly in love and it wasn't until after we broke up that I saw her as something other than perfect.
Wellington
BAAAALLLINNN'
demon said:
You know I kind of think the same way, but it's just the way things are man. You'd love to get back with the old girl, but then she won't hear it or she has someone else... and when you know you've lost her for good, it's possibly the worst feeling you'll ever experience if you honestly and genuinely loved her. All you can really do is move on and remember the good times.
={<SMOKE>}=
Member
i can't even get a girlfriend... appreciate what you had!!
skinnyrattler said:
Round and Round we go. I got on this ride a few years ago, and I don't feel like we have moved too far.
After playing through Silent Hill 3 recently, I can't look at those rides the same anymore. Those of you that played the game no what I mean.
Lil' Dice said:
heh.
First of all -- sorry that you're down. There isn't much that will help in the short term, other than to focus on the usual areas of your life that you enjoy: exercise, games, friends, movies, music, etc.
You don't mention how old you are, but I'm guessing that you and your ex are in your early 20s. It's a time when EVERYONE undergoes massive amounts of change, and it's fairly common for longer-term relationships to fall apart in that period because both sides may end being quite different people at the end than they originally were when they started. You're right -- blowing off a two-year relationship doesn't happen in a two-week span unless one or both sides have been thinking about it for a while. Personally, I wouldn't bother trying to figure out if she's been cheating or not -- it's irrelevant, frankly, because it's a SYMPTOM of you growing apart, rather than a cause.
I would hope that you'd spend some of this time being honest with yourself about the person you are now, the person SHE is now, and whether or not you were really going to go the distance. If it turns out that you really WERE growing apart for a while -- which is what I suspect -- then accept the fact that things end, allow yourself to have some "grieving time" (which means "avoid serious relationships," though you're free to date around and have some nudge-nudge-wink-wink fun while rebounding), and get ready to start auditioning your next long-term Mrs. Leon in six or seven months.
Good luck...
You don't mention how old you are, but I'm guessing that you and your ex are in your early 20s. It's a time when EVERYONE undergoes massive amounts of change, and it's fairly common for longer-term relationships to fall apart in that period because both sides may end being quite different people at the end than they originally were when they started. You're right -- blowing off a two-year relationship doesn't happen in a two-week span unless one or both sides have been thinking about it for a while. Personally, I wouldn't bother trying to figure out if she's been cheating or not -- it's irrelevant, frankly, because it's a SYMPTOM of you growing apart, rather than a cause.
I would hope that you'd spend some of this time being honest with yourself about the person you are now, the person SHE is now, and whether or not you were really going to go the distance. If it turns out that you really WERE growing apart for a while -- which is what I suspect -- then accept the fact that things end, allow yourself to have some "grieving time" (which means "avoid serious relationships," though you're free to date around and have some nudge-nudge-wink-wink fun while rebounding), and get ready to start auditioning your next long-term Mrs. Leon in six or seven months.
Good luck...
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