-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
My coworker thinks I'm stalking her because I found her home address on a website
- Thread starter jadedm17
- Start date
- Status
Samurai G0SU
Member
officemut defending op's stalking and creeping actions? lol go in dude! lol LMAO
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
Only I've explained my logic and said several times that I am speaking to the general act of researching someone and not the OP, and even then I said that OP telling the person he looked her up is weird. But if you want to pick and choose what you read, even though it sounds like you didn't read shit, then that's on you.
Yea, my friend would have been much better off if she didn't do a quick search and found out that the person she was dating had molested a girl. LOL
Mammoth Jones
Member
No. Sorry. Do you really Google every single person you know and look everything you can up about them? Cause I don't. That's some strange shit to me.
Unless I have a very specific reason like trying to get in touch with a childhood friend or something I don't do that silly shit.
Count Dookkake
Member
I have never googled any girl that I have been interested in. It's better to just talk to them.
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
Also this. I know I'm defending the act of looking someone up but I also think it's weird to do it to everyone you meet. I see no reason to casually do it unless you are truly looking for something in particular out of concern or are dating someone for the first time.
17 Seconds
Banned
i just looked at the site. what were you even trying to learn about her. her political party affiliation?
This is an amazing post. "It's creepy to peep through her windows" "Binoculars creep people out?"
My dude.
excelsiorlef
Member
Ha ha ha... this is excellent usage of satirical escalation
Randy Lanzarote
Member
I don't think you are a stalker.
I think you are either a bit stupid or very naive to tell her the truth as to how you came to know her birthday. You could've saved yourself with "You mentioned it on your first day", not "there's this site that contains loads of personal details about people and I looked you up". I'm not sure what you thought was going to come from that revelation.
I think you are either a bit stupid or very naive to tell her the truth as to how you came to know her birthday. You could've saved yourself with "You mentioned it on your first day", not "there's this site that contains loads of personal details about people and I looked you up". I'm not sure what you thought was going to come from that revelation.
Mammoth Jones
Member
Yea I honestly can't see how some people can be so ridiculously socially inept.
People don't go around looking up their coworkers private shit. And the few that do don't go casually telling them...
Then have the nerve to act like that shit is ok....😅
17 Seconds
Banned
nah, it was ruined towards the beginning with the word "private"
You don't tell people you do that until you are actually in a relationship with them and everything is going solid. Then one day you say "Oh, did you ever look me up?" and see what they say.
You never volunteer that info even though everyone does something similar to someone they are interested in somehow, whether it is to see what types of movies they like or their last significant other. You can just never reveal what info you know. Hence, there is no reason to really look that info up. You ultimately need more self-control. Not that you are necessarily a whacko, you just sealed your (lack of) future with this chick.
Get ready to move on quick from her.
And "do you have a gf/bf?" Is not a come-on line. It is the most obvious ice breaker that usually only a chick can use without coming off as creepy so you two are not staring at each other in utter silence.
You never volunteer that info even though everyone does something similar to someone they are interested in somehow, whether it is to see what types of movies they like or their last significant other. You can just never reveal what info you know. Hence, there is no reason to really look that info up. You ultimately need more self-control. Not that you are necessarily a whacko, you just sealed your (lack of) future with this chick.
Get ready to move on quick from her.
And "do you have a gf/bf?" Is not a come-on line. It is the most obvious ice breaker that usually only a chick can use without coming off as creepy so you two are not staring at each other in utter silence.
stump sock
Member
almost
Forearm Star
Member
Remember it's not about what you think, it's about the person whose info you're digging up.
Like I said, keep it to yourself
Some people have said looking people up on Facebook to see what they are like is stalkerish too, but I have found it is a great way to avoid people you really don't want to be around, for both dating and friendship. A lot of people nowadays will gladly share their true colors on Facebook.
yongeandcollege
Member
Awkward. Lol.
SuperBowser
Member
I mean, I'd be creeped out if somebody said that to me after asking me out. I don't want to be searched for online by someone I barely know.
I find it uncomfortable when people at work add me on facebook as is.
I find it uncomfortable when people at work add me on facebook as is.
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
If the person was never told he researched her then no, he didn't stalk or harass her by that definition.
But yes, I've been saying this entire time to keep it to yourself. Telling the person is weird.
i mean it was just for a laugh, but:
adjective
1.
belonging to some particular person:
private property.
17 Seconds
Banned
what? i'm saying that the wording was overkill and it made the joke obvious too early
Abstrusity
Member
Forget about OP being a moron and making everyone think he's stalking: Why the FUCK does this website exist? This is not something that should exist at all.
took you the wrong way, thought you were saying the post was ruined by claiming details available via public websites were private.
pixelation
Member
Hahaha sounds stalkerish to me!
andythinkpad
Member
I have only googled customer's website when they give me a very specific email (i.e. firstname@hisname.com etc)
I have never googled any of my coworker or friends. Any one who does it is weird.
Mammoth Jones
Member
A ton of info is available via public information. So the logic is its the same info you can gather by going to a local government building and making a request for info so just put it online.
I don't like it but it is what it is.
LordKasual
Banned
>_>
Learn to stalk correctly OP, jesus.
Learn to stalk correctly OP, jesus.
Forearm Star
Member
Exactly. You can go by whatever textbook definition you want but that's only justifiying it for yourself. The person can easily be made to feel uncomfortable knowing you were "just doing your homework".
Keep that shit to yourself
sixteen-bit
Member
Did you show her this thread?
Sunster
Member
It's not that he looked he up. It's that he told her he looked her up before they even went on a single date.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Asking Gaf what's socially acceptable versus what's creepy and stalkery will get you nowhere.
Most people just look through their social media.
EstoyBlackWaldo
Member
@OP found something to help you out to let you know you're a bonafide stalker, this goes for anyone else that defends this nonsense as normal.
http://www.eharmony.com/blog/signs-stalking-behavior/
http://www.eharmony.com/blog/signs-stalking-behavior/
I have female friends who have admitted to me that they've checked out the profile of guys they've started dating. Get a sense of their romantic past, thinking, family, lifestyle, etc. I get it, but probably something you'd keep on the downlow.
Captain Smoker
Member
Don't understand the problem here, if it's just for fun / because you're curious.
First time I found a similar database in the internet (I was like "this is a thing"?),
I tried it with all of my friends and told some of them that their information is on the internet like this.
In the end, the information is in the internet anyway, it's better they know if they want to do something about this.
Edit: Ok, probably depends on how you frame your story about what you did and how well you know each other.
First time I found a similar database in the internet (I was like "this is a thing"?),
I tried it with all of my friends and told some of them that their information is on the internet like this.
In the end, the information is in the internet anyway, it's better they know if they want to do something about this.
Edit: Ok, probably depends on how you frame your story about what you did and how well you know each other.
StanleyStutters
Member
I use dating sites when single, and I'd be straight up lying if I said I didn't check Facebook and do a google search before meeting someone. Gotta know who you're dealing with. That being said, I've never done that to someone I met IRL. Seems like just adding her on FB would have been the way to go. I believe OP that he stumbled onto this site and she was on his mind so he looked her up. You gotta keep that to yourself, man. Imagine meeting someone then days after they hit on you they say they know your address and birthday from a site they found. Sketchy as hell.
pixelation
Member
Errmmh... no?
It's beyond creepy. It's a good example of how incredibly powerful technology that should do nothing but improve our lives tremendously will always be used by some creep for some fucked up stuff. Not to mention there's thousands of them.
Does anyone have a summary of the thread so far?
As far as I can tell from what I've read, OP has done "totally common and normal" stalking that "everyone does" and it's a "social taboo for basically no reason".
Any recent developments I've missed?
OP, maybe if you didn't want to be accused of stalking you should have stopped looking up personal information outside of yourself and close family. I can understand looking into a creepy website and seeing how far down the rabbit hole goes because you're concerned. But once you cross that line from your family to coworkers, you have already seen the bottom of the hole and are now digging in places you shouldn't.
It's creepy. Really creepy.
LumpOfCole
Member
It's almost more creepy to lack the self awareness to let it go this far than the act of looking up the address.
Think about what site you're on.
These websites usually exist for two purposes:
- They charge people money if they want to see EVEN MORE details about someone else.
- They charge people money if they want to delist themselves from the website.
I think you'd be surprised how many people don't realize how easy it is to get personal information on somebody on the internet. Most people have their address, phone number, even relationships and previous addresses out there for everybody to see that has a credit card and can internet access.
Now that said, telling a woman you hardly know that you know where she lives is creepy there is no way around that. If they have a kid especially they have reason to be upset.
pretty done
Member
How is this any less stalking than op tho...
His biggest fuckup was admitting it, not the actual act.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked