~ Zyzomys ~
Member
With that restraining order, it is probably best to send flowers to her mother's house.
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My coworker thinks I'm stalking her because I found her home address on a website
- Thread starter jadedm17
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ArgyleReptile
Banned
From the outside looking in, which is pretty much her situation as well, it sounds like you were stalking her, bro, especially because you willingly revealed that you found a website that held such information and used her as a way to test out the website.
I've no stories similar to this, but, more importantly, I don't have any real advice I can give to you because I don't think this will go away and be filed as a simple misunderstanding.
I've no stories similar to this, but, more importantly, I don't have any real advice I can give to you because I don't think this will go away and be filed as a simple misunderstanding.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Nah he's above it. I mean he doesn't even think about her. SHE shouldn't have reacted the way she did to him looking her up on a site that shows her address DOB phone number etc.
Messofanego
Banned
Waiting for the HR update.
Looking up info is not stalking someone. Good lord...
davidwhangchoi
Member
How can one be so oblivious?
Please read your post aloud to yourself.
hahaha
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
looking up info
That sounds so harmless until you say "Home address, phone number, DOB, etc."
Facebook is looking someone up.
If she isn't in sit on the wall or pavement just outside her place and wait.
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
I really can't agree with categorizing certain public websites as appropriate and others as not appropriate for looking someone up. If it's all publicly available and a person has to do no more than click on a different link after a Google search, then I see nothing wrong with it.
The things people post on Facebook are so much more revealing than some of these other information aggregators that people seem to be freaking out about, yet it's fine to check out someone's Facebook, apparently.
Unless he actually goes to her house that is not stalking. I'd argue looking through someones facebook is worse as you can actually see what their life is like. Are we all going to pretend where we live isnt public info?
Back in the day, 2 out of those 3 things were in the yellow book.
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
Well clearly the yellow book was there to entice stalkers like the Terminator.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
"I found you on Facebook"
is more socially acceptable than
"Oh, I found your birth month on Florida Residents Database, that's how I know it
It's clearly about what's socially acceptable right now. Back in the day a lot of shit was different.
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
"I found you on Facebook"
is more socially acceptable than
"Oh, I found your birth month on Florida Residents Database, that's how I know it"
It's clearly about what's socially acceptable right now. Back in the day a lot of shit was different.
I said it's weird to mention it to the person you found the information on but that it isn't weird to find this information on another website that isn't Facebook.
Yes, mentioning it to the person you researched is weird in and of itself. Although personally, my exes and other friends have told me they found out things about me and I thought it was pretty interesting, not weird. But to each their own.
Oh no at the last thing you said. It is no different today than it was years ago except for the fact that it's more easy to find this information. Back then it would have surely still been weird to say that you know where someone lives after finding them in a yellow book just as it is weird to tell that person today that you found their information in an online resource.
To clarify, there isn't a problem with doing the research but it is abnormal to tell the person you're researching that you're researching her.
It's still counted as stalking just doing it online.
outunderthestars
Banned
Only people who wanted to be in it. Big difference.
Samurai G0SU
Member
You're the definition of what a girl calls "Creep".
akilshohen
Member
The site that gave the information is creepy I'd say. I probably wouldn't have searched on it by phone number though if it gave out that information.
However, I don't see anything wrong with looking up coworkers if you have their name. Gotta know who you're working with I guess...
However, I don't see anything wrong with looking up coworkers if you have their name. Gotta know who you're working with I guess...
eso76
Member
It appears this is the only "real" problem.
Everybody is going to Google your name.
adamsapple
Or is it just one of Phil's balls in my throat?
Bounceounce
Member
People are really exaggerating what OP did, not from the girls perspective as it does look like stalking and she should report him, but everything he's posted seems like an absent minded mistake and people are just badgering him about having no social skills or being a creep.
He said nothing about the way he feels she should have reacted to him.
ClosingADoor
Member
Facebook has you decide which things to make public. An open database with your address is not the same.
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
I am not going to differentiate the two because as I said, it takes no more effort to click one link versus the other to then be revealed information on a non-Facebook website. It's *legal* to have this information public. And as I said, some of my friends have benefited from doing a quick search of a person.
And really, that public Facebook argument doesn't really work because the woman referenced in the OP would have still responded the same way had the OP mentioned some event she attended that she posted on her Facebook, but using your argument that would instead be acceptable.
No. Doing the search itself is fine but mentioning one over the other to the person you're researching won't fly. Whether you found it on Facebook won't matter to the person you're researching. It still comes off as weird. It's best to simply do it and not mention it and I'm not going to agree that one website is more or less acceptable than another if it's legally and publicly available.
outunderthestars
Banned
OP works in a restaurant. That means that every co-worker will know about the incident within 2-3 shifts. He will start getting worse shifts/sections until they force him out.
ClosingADoor
Member
There is a pretty clear difference between looking up someone on Facebook to see if they have things in common or whatever, and looking up their home address and other info like that.
There is also a difference in doing this with a friend, or a coworker, or an online date, etc.
I see zero reason why I would be putting the name of a coworker into a database to look up their home info.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Have we ever resolved the bathroom dilemma?
It's pretty clear that he's at least annoyed that she's reacting this way.
It's pretty clear that he's at least annoyed that she's reacting this way.
The Hermit
Member
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
Lol You think it's more appropriate or somehow less weird to find out whether you have something intimately in common with the person you're researching? Okay.
And I hate this argument that you're using. Not everyone researches someone to find out where they live but they might unintentionally stumble upon that information in the process. My exes who confided in me that they researched me before hand didn't do so to find out where I lived (although they did find that out), but instead to find out if anything serious was attached to my name or if I was already in a relationship.
Messofanego
Banned
Right in the OP, he said that she missed the mark and making him out to be a creep when he isn't one.
This thread is so weird. What did the guy do wrong? I don't see how looking up the private information of people you don't really know (but want to get to know) is creepy.
It's almost as if most people on gaf don't get outside enough. Have you never had a new colleague at work that you like so you find out their details and where they live and camp outside their house and sometimes break into the house, just a little bit, to smell their hair while they sleep?
It's almost as if most people on gaf don't get outside enough. Have you never had a new colleague at work that you like so you find out their details and where they live and camp outside their house and sometimes break into the house, just a little bit, to smell their hair while they sleep?
ClosingADoor
Member
The guy in the OP literally put the name in a website with that info. He did not stumble across it.
And yes, it is more appropriate to look someone up on Facebook, where that person manages their privacy settings themselves.
Almost had me until the end.
Lol you had me going for a minute.
Count Dookkake
Member
A coworker caught me in the break room, jerking off in her lunch and now she thinks I'm a creep.
I didn't even know it was hers!
I didn't even know it was hers!
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
At this point I've stopped talking about the OP and I have only been speaking on the idea of simply researching someone.
And no, it would come off as incredibly weird to someone who might have accidentally left their Facebook open (but lol they manage their privacy) if you told him or her that you saw their pictures at their family BBQ this weekend and that you occasionally like to grill some burgers as well.
Simply put, looking up someone on legal, public information aggregators with no more effort than a few searches and clicks is A-OK to me. Putting in more effort than that and paying to find out about a person you barely know and/or telling that person you did is not.
Lol OP why would you say that? I fucked up once too, I was having dinner with a friend after watching a movie and we were casually talking (we knew each other for about 2 months I think and I liked her a bit), then for some reason the topic of birthdays came up and I basically confirmed I knew when hers was, she hadn't told me yet but I had looked it up on Facebook, at first she didn't notice, then she did but we just laughed it off lol, luckily she liked me too and it wasn't as awkward in the end.
ClosingADoor
Member
Well, at least not any stranger then telling them you figured out their home address from a website made to find that info.
But seems we are talking about different situations anyway. But yes, don't bring up strange unrelated things that you find out online. Instead, just add them on Facebook and then you can talk about it.
EdibleKnife
Member
You could have just Googled her but you went the extra mile to an information database for someone you spent less than 20 words on. Yes that was creepy
I want to pose a question to the OP.
Camera on me.
OP, let's pretend one night after some booze, you think that Google is magic and you type in "<coworker's name> naked" and to your astonishment, it actually produces results.
The next day you let her know that she has nudes on the internet because you went looking for them.
Is she allowed to think you're creepy?
Camera on me.
OP, let's pretend one night after some booze, you think that Google is magic and you type in "<coworker's name> naked" and to your astonishment, it actually produces results.
The next day you let her know that she has nudes on the internet because you went looking for them.
Is she allowed to think you're creepy?
Alligatorjandro
Banned
I'm outside of your window with my radio
Forearm Star
Member
Lol the fact that people need to explain what is considered stalking.
If you're researching someone you're stalking them. However lightly you want to consider it, its stalking. Lol either way, just keep that info to yourself.
If you're researching someone you're stalking them. However lightly you want to consider it, its stalking. Lol either way, just keep that info to yourself.
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
lunchtoast
Member
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIfjgmTia3o
I am at your front door
Its not open, I tried
Its cold as ball out here
Let me inside
I am at your front door
Its not open, I tried
Its cold as ball out here
Let me inside
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