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My lil bro got caught stealing condoms :lol

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RobotChant said:
It's up to the store whether they want to press charges. Considering the situation, I don't think they'll bother. If it was his first offense, and he was cooperative and remorseful they might just let it slide.

My cousin got caught shoplifting when he was younger and they released him to his parents and told him he could get a court summons within 90 days but one never came.

Guess what he got caught stealing?
lipstick


:lol

oh man, thats embarrassing.
 
hahaha, j2cool, that exactly describes the situation i had with an ex of mine. needless to say, it was just too much hassle.

the akwardness of putting on a rubber, if it doesn't go on right first time, or god forbid you actually try and put it on backwards in the dark is a much more powerful force than a naked girl who is probably at this point just staring akwardly at you.

yeah, when i'm putting it one, the LAST thing i'm thinking about is "i'm gunna get laid." if i don't get that bitch on the first time down, it's all over and i'm telling the girl to figure out ways to get me movitated again.

:-/
 

Heezzi

Banned
Incognito said:
y even use condoms? just pull out quickly. condoms ruin the pleasure, and more often that not ruin the mood. nothing more embarrassing and counterproductive than trying to get the rubber around your ever-so shrinking member...i like to call condoms the "5-0", because just like cops showing up to a party, everything is ruined.

That's what Sidaman thought....
 

mrmyth

Member
All you people who have trouble putting on the condom have dick issues. You're overthinking it, which you're only able to do because your shit isn't hard enough. Go do some Kegels or something. When I'm up I don't have enough blood in my brain to focus on anything farther in the future than parry, parry, parry, parry, parry, parry, parry, parry, Shinku Hadoken!
 

Dilbert

Member
From one point of view, stealing is stealing. However, it's pretty clear that stealing condoms is usually done out of embarrassment...so hopefully the store is just trying to put a scare into him and will eventually cut him a break.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
xsarien said:
They do, but fuck if I'd ever use that shit.

why not? as long as it's a recognised brand, how is this different to a store purchased pak?
 

GaimeGuy

Volunteer Deputy Campaign Director, Obama for America '16
Incognito said:
y even use condoms? just pull out quickly. condoms ruin the pleasure, and more often that not ruin the mood. nothing more embarrassing and counterproductive than trying to get the rubber around your ever-so shrinking member...i like to call condoms the "5-0", because just like cops showing up to a party, everything is ruined.
Ever heard of precum?

Pulling out, next to chance, is the least effective method of birth control. and it's very inneffective. Something like 25% or so, so that, if you have the possibility to impregnate a women, pulling out early will only prevent a pregnancy 1 out of every four times.
 

Gek54

Junior Member
loxy said:
That's odd, I've never seen these condom dispensing vending machines =\

They also have cologne despensing machines that dont work until you have your face next to the nozzel so that it can spray you in the eye...peice O SHIT!
 

Mario_Hugo

Lisa Edelstein's dad touched my private parts. True fact.
If incorrectly fumbling with a condom is that embarrasing that you lose it...you might want to reconsider even having sex. Sex is fun, maintain a sense of humor, laugh and carry on!
 

Willco

Hollywood Square
Retail people don't fuck around. It's store protocol to prosecute criminals to their furthest extent of the law, and pretty much mandatory. Sorry.
 

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
Ninja Scooter said:
what the hell is so embarassing about buying condoms? Doesn't that mean "Hey im getting laid!"?!? He should have been proud.

That was the first thing that popped into my head. I used* to buy them with pride.























*It's been a while. :\
 

teh_pwn

"Saturated fat causes heart disease as much as Brawndo is what plants crave."
Ever heard of precum?

Pulling out, next to chance, is the least effective method of birth control. and it's very inneffective. Something like 25% or so, so that, if you have the possibility to impregnate a women, pulling out early will only prevent a pregnancy 1 out of every four times.

I can't believe it took that long for someone to mention that. That and sexual diseases. What a irresponsible dumbass to use the pull out method.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
GaimeGuy said:
Ever heard of precum?

Pulling out, next to chance, is the least effective method of birth control. and it's very inneffective. Something like 25% or so, so that, if you have the possibility to impregnate a women, pulling out early will only prevent a pregnancy 1 out of every four times.

While Incognitos advice was horrible, I mean, he claims to be sterile so his advice probably already doesn't apply, I think you might have skewed the chance of impregnating a women with the withdrawl method slightly high.
 
yea, i'm sterile. i don't know why gaimeguy and the rest of the sex-educaters are offering up all this stuff -- i think everyone over the age 15 knows about precum, std's, etc...
 

Kuro Madoushi

Unconfirmed Member
mrmyth said:
He shouldn't be prosecuted, IMO. I'd rather he steal condoms now than father some little bastard who grows up to rob me.



The last time I bought condoms, they had to be price-checked. The little lady at the register turned five shades of red and REFUSED to say what she needed price-checked. She went through all these verbal gymnastics describing the box color and where the shelf was on the phone to her coworker. I wasted ten minutes of my life watching her do it.

Once she finally got me checked out, I said real loud, "I bought condoms! They're ribbed for her pleasure! Dammit I think I'm having sex!", and walked out.

Poor lady won't look me in the eyes when I go into that store now. I don't think she's had the birds-n-bees talk.

:lol
You are my hero! I don't have trouble buying them but wouldn't have the cajones to say that shit :p
 

tetsuoxb

Member
First time I ever bought condoms was at walmart. Im going out the store and I set off the shoplifting alarm because the old woman forgot to deactivate the checkpoint... so the lady runs over and checks my receipt and the items in the bag... instantly realizes it was the condoms and starts profusely apologizing in a small voice and saying she wont tell anyone. I told her it was ok because I was going to enjoy myself later.

However, my favorite clerk/condom conversation happened in a target. Dude was about 25 and I was in there with my girlfriend.

Clerk:"Condoms huh?"
Me:"Yeah."
Clerk:"Looks like you are going to have fun tonight."
Me:"Nah, Youd know I was having fun if I was buying the family pack."

Current GF is on the pill... so I am free of the land of terrible protection.
 

Particle Physicist

between a quark and a baryon
Flying Llama said:
That's because we live in jesusland, when I was in HS there was a whole outcry about providing free condoms in school. People were against it because they believed it condoned underage sex.

actually. there are plenty of clinics that hand them out for free.
 

Shouta

Member
Oh man, this thread has my tearing up from laughing so hard. :lol

I feel kind of sorry for your brother. I hope I never have that experience.
 
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