Support NeoGAF

[Menome]

To the fetish-lover:

You can reconcile the two. A couple I'm friends with do just that (Although...minus the animals I believe). They're married, they have kids, and they still enjoy that lifestyle attending fetish meet-ups. Although I'm fairly adventurous, I did decline their invitation to one of these as it sounded like it went a fair way beyond what I'm comfortable with.

You can love and respect your partner whilst still getting up to some nasty shit behind closed doors.

 

[dity]

I'm not sure if this is a confession or what, but it's interesting...

Maybe they're writing a song?

Sister Booty Man is back.

Your sister smashed her butt into your dick on Halloween, the sexiest night of the year.

Jeeeeeeesus wept

I love how he says his fascination with this Spooky Butt didn't start when they were kids, and then we get a short tale of him poking her butt as a child.

Confessor, what is wrong with you?

GOLDEN

Okay, we'll leave the darkness asides for later this week, and instead, dear reader, I present to you this young individual's dilemma:

That feeling of 'not enough' will either go away, or you will implode in the most debauched, horniest way possible.

I feel if you picked the fetish route and abandoned the other stuff, you'd regret it. Although I'm not sure why you can't talk about it with your partner - maybe they're not as crazy as you think they are?

Trigger Warning III:

That guy was not your friend. He was a bastard and I hope something horrible happened to him.

I'm glad you're in a better place now.

Definitely not your friend OP. I hope they're not still doing this with other people.

What if he'd dared you to play with Quackers in the middle of the girls' locker room?

You'd have been expelled.

This confession made me laugh. The quackers bit is amazing.

 

[dity]

Confession: I accidentally double posted.

 

[Orkidea]

These are hilarious! Thanks for this

 

[Dr. Buni]

By "did your business" you had better mean masturbate. Because everyone deserves to masturbate in a women's bathroom at least once. Wait, oh shit-

That's creepy.

 

[Red Liquorice]

play with Quackers

My new favourite euphemism. "Come play with Quackers".

 

[Boogalogist]

Now whenever I hear "Hakuna Matata", I'll think of this thread.

 

[Cloyster]

To the fetish double lifer I can help. I was in a similar boat.

The thing is, you'll havf to hold out for compromise. There are plenty of people who want to be freaky like that, I should know, and you'll have to find one who wants to have a family and you care for them. You can have it both ways.

 

[The Elite]

Okay, we'll leave the darkness asides for later this week, and instead, dear reader, I present to you this young individual's dilemma:

That feeling of 'not enough' will either go away, or you will implode in the most debauched, horniest way possible.

Now that's what I'm talking about. I wish you luck! I am sure with the right person you can have it both ways but it's incredibly difficult and frightening to reveal yourself like that, even to those closest to you.

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

Quackers, I need to know why you made it quack.

Confession: I accidentally double posted.

 

[Sagely]

Fetish confessor, I honestly think you can find a compromise here. Obviously you can't have both the things you want to the fullest extent, but that's normal. You might be able to talk to your partner about exploring some of your less outlandish kinks; if not, and you want to prioritise your sex life, you can look towards finding a new partner who's just as adventurous. It's not unusual for couples to be happily committed and into various kink scenes, polyamoury etc.

I do agree with those who have said you need to prioritise one over the other though, if your kinks really are as crazy as you say. It'll be a difficult conversation to have with your partner if you've previously established your relationship as monogamous.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

An update from a Confessor from last year:

Last year, I wrote the “My Master’s is Useless” confession. Here’s this year’s follow-up.

The short version is I quit retail and am currently temping in an office. It’s a huge improvement in most ways, and I think if I stick it out for a few more months, they’ll hire me permanently. It’ll be the first time in my life I’ve ever earned a living wage, so I’m excited about that prospect. Plus the benefits are great.

So what was my main motivation in quitting retail, besides the obvious reason that it’s retail? Was it never having 40 hours a week, despite being full-time? The terrible pay? Bigoted coworkers? No future? The embarrassment of telling people who knew my educational background that my job was focused around moving boxes (no offense to people whose job involves moving boxes)?

Nope. It was one of my bosses who’d been there for over a year and was still trying to figure out how the job worked. It didn’t help that he was also a creep.

There were nights where’d he’d just be on fire. One moment he’d change how my team did their job, which pissed off some of the other assistant managers (they were on rotating shifts); the next, he’d ignore customer service trying to radio him because he didn’t want to deal with customers. Then he’d join the regular staff on lunch and make conversation, which sounds harmless in theory, until the part where he’d, completely unprompted, ask a female coworker about her romantic history, things like “do you have a boyfriend, does he work at this store,” etc. He wanted to get personal with people, myself included, without taking the time to establish relationships. He completely lacked social acumen, and it resulted in me being uncomfortable around him on breaks. It got to the point where I took my breaks elsewhere in the store, or in my car, just to get away from him.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I decided to take a risk, hooked up with a temp agency, and when they found me something, I put in my two weeks and said goodbye to my coworkers and full-time benefits for a job that didn’t guarantee me a permanent spot. It was worth it for my mental health alone, though, so I think it’s been for the best.

Here’s hoping.

We're rooting for you, bud.

 

[dskillzhtown]

Crazy fetishes confessor..... I'm going to be that guy and say it's either or. You choose one and stay with it and remove the fetishes completely (besides some that your wife can maybe help you out with) or vice versa. Like NTGYK said, if you don't choose you're gonna implode.

Agreed. You need to get a compromise with your partner, starting out by talking to her about it. If not you are going to implode or start to live a double life and that isn't good for anyone involved. Maybe see what your partner's ideas are in the area. She may be open to much more than you know.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm your typical dude. Average job, average looks, but I love to party with a few friends almost every weekend. Basically we go out to try pull chicks to varying success. This one time we went out to this club that plays edm and we were living it up! I came with 2 other friends and we usually do our own thing and meet up before we leave. That didn't happen this time.

Saw a cute girl dancing with her friends and I approached her. A few seconds later she was grinding on me and things were looking good. Long story short, shit happened and by the end of the night I decided to take a chance. Told her I lived close by if she wanted to come over and she said yes. She quickly went off to tell her friends and we left together.

Sex was forgettable but the highlight was one video we took that I still have. She left quickly in the morning saying she had work and we didn't exchange details. I completely forgot about her till a few months later on neogaf, I saw her photo in the "post your gf" thread. Same girl, looking all duppy. Of course I kept schtum because I don't wanna wreck a relationship. Besides, it was a few months later so she could have been single at the time we met.

Anyway this was around 2011/12 and from a recent thread I've seen, looks like they're still together. Happy for em but I do sometimes wonder if this gaffer ever gets fresh with me I could wreck him. But he's cool a poster so i doubt he would. Shout out to ya girl tho.

You remember this exact girl you randomly had sex with four years ago that well?

Musta been some lay.

Or its a girl that kinda looks like her?

 

[BLOODED_hands]

Happy for em but I do sometimes wonder if this gaffer ever gets fresh with me I could wreck him. But he's cool a poster so i doubt he would. Shout out to ya girl tho

Lol watchoutwegotabadassoverhere.png

If the lay was forgettable, how would you remember her dude? So do you take these videos everytime you get some random strange bruh?!

 

[Gray Matter]

You remember this exact girl you randomly had sex with four years ago that well?

Musta been some lay.

Or its a girl that kinda looks like her?

Not saying this is fake, but the chances of this happening seem very slim.

 

[Lufiaddict]

Once when I was having a sleep over with a friend. When the lights were off, I took out my dick, used a torch to make its shadow appear on the wall and called it Quackers while making quacking sounds.

 

[Endruen]

As a matter of fact, ducks have corkscrew like dicks.
The more you know...

 

[Boogalogist]

You remember this exact girl you randomly had sex with four years ago that well?

Musta been some lay.

Or its a girl that kinda looks like her?

This sounds like some confession to keep some paranoid posters looking over their back...lol

 

[enanogrande]

You remember this exact girl you randomly had sex with four years ago that well?

Musta been some lay.

Or its a girl that kinda looks like her?

Not saying this is fake, but the chances of this happening seem very slim.

Confessor says he has a video of their hook up.

Which is what he'd use to wreck the Gaffer if he ever got uppity.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

You remember this exact girl you randomly had sex with four years ago that well?

Musta been some lay.

Or its a girl that kinda looks like her?

Read it again, the event happened 4 years ago but he recognised her in a post your gf topic just a few months later after the sex.

 

[Mostmanlyman]

The fact that the quacks are green sound makes it so much better.

 

[B-Dubs]

This killed me, holy shit :lol

 

[The Last Emperor]

Lmao

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I have a fetish that most people will probably find weird. It's called macrophilia. I like giant women. Not fat women. Giant, as in normal proportions but, like, the size of buildings. I like reading stories and looking at pictures of them crushing people, eating them, knocking down buildings, doing sexual stuff (I won't go into detail but trust me when I say giantess authors get pretty damn creative in this field), and whatever else. I pretty much can't get off to anything else. Even when I'm watching regular porn with the most attractive women I've ever seen, I can't really get going until I start picturing them as giants.

I'm also a virgin. This is relevant because it worries me that if I ever get a chance to have sex with a woman, I won't be able to get it up because of the giantess fetish, which is obviously impossible to recreate in real life. Not to mention how no woman who might want to have sex with me will ever be as attractive as the women I see in porn. I feel like I've set myself up for an extraordinarily embarrassing first time by fostering this unrealistic fetish and watching too much porn. I'm already in a bad spot being a virgin at my age. I don't know how I'll be able to explain that to a potential partner, much less why I can't get it up.

Anyway, sorry this isn't some juicy, horrible thing I did. It's just something I wanted to get off my chest because I can't really talk to people IRL about my weird fetish or how much I watch porn.

Yeah, that's uh... That's not an expected one, but you know, that's not too odd.

...

Look, you're right about your unrealistic expectations. You're gonna need to take a long step back and realize that whatever ideal you have in your head or however you think your fetish is holding you back, that might not happen in an actual situation. Your fear is holding you back.

If this is something that worrying, consider seeing a sex therapist. Seriously. There is no shame in it. Everyone deserves a shot at happiness, even dudes that dream of giant fifty foot tall babes stomping on people.

 

[zeemumu]

I have a fetish that most people will probably find weird. It's called macrophilia. I like giant women. Not fat women. Giant, as in normal proportions but, like, the size of buildings. I like reading stories and looking at pictures of them crushing people, eating them, knocking down buildings, doing sexual stuff (I won't go into detail but trust me when I say giantess authors get pretty damn creative in this field), and whatever else. I pretty much can't get off to anything else. Even when I'm watching regular porn with the most attractive women I've ever seen, I can't really get going until I start picturing them as giants.

I'm also a virgin. This is relevant because it worries me that if I ever get a chance to have sex with a woman, I won't be able to get it up because of the giantess fetish, which is obviously impossible to recreate in real life. Not to mention how no woman who might want to have sex with me will ever be as attractive as the women I see in porn. I feel like I've set myself up for an extraordinarily embarrassing first time by fostering this unrealistic fetish and watching too much porn. I'm already in a bad spot being a virgin at my age. I don't know how I'll be able to explain that to a potential partner, much less why I can't get it up.

Anyway, sorry this isn't some juicy, horrible thing I did. It's just something I wanted to get off my chest because I can't really talk to people IRL about my weird fetish or how much I watch porn.

All I want to do, is see you turn into...

 

[Arkos]

Yeah, that's uh... That's not an expected one, but you know, that's not too odd.

...

Look, you're right about your unrealistic expectations. You're gonna need to take a long step back and realize that whatever ideal you have in your head or however you think your fetish is holding you back, that might not happen in an actual situation. Your fear is holding you back.

If this is something that worrying, consider seeing a sex therapist. Seriously. There is no shame in it. Everyone deserves a shot at happiness, even dudes that dream of giant fifty foot tall babes stomping on people.

 

[Qasiel]

Macrophiliac, NTGYK has covered basically what I was going to say in as far as you may be letting your own fear hold you back. My SO doesn't indulge me with my fetish (and to be honest I'd find it weird if she did, but that's another story for another day) but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy the No Pants Dance with each other.

If you honestly feel that you'd hold sexual partners up to that unrealistic level to the point where you cannot function then yeah, see a sex therapist. Best of luck to you, buddy!

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I was gonna post this but it was a bit... On the nose.

 

[Magwik]

I was gonna post this but it was a bit... On the nose.

I'm waiting for the futurama gif now

 

[zeemumu]

I'm waiting for the futurama gif now

 

[Retsudo]

I'm waiting for the futurama gif now

That was my first thought aswell. 'Death by snu-snu!'

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm a pretty active poster on this forum. Most of you would probably know me if I revealed my name. Which is why I prefer confessing anonymously. It feels kinda good being able to be honest for once, without making people worried.

The truth is... I've been living a lie these past few years. A few years ago, I started feeling differently. I was getting obsessed with strange things. I was having bizarre thoughts. For months, I'd wake up and browse the internet for hours, trying to forget my mental pain. It was all I could do. I'd look forward to having dinner just because it was one of the few things I could do without overthinking everything. If you want a small example, imagine being bothered by every single detail. Being self conscious all the time. And being hyper aware of your surroundings. That was, and is, my life. And that's just part of it. There's other stuff... thoughts and obsessions that scare me, but which I can't explain with words. And what you can't explain is the worst of all. The unexplainable is what truly makes a person feel alone. And scared.

I know some of you will tell me to get help. But I have done that already. I've talked with a therapist. With a psychiatrist. I take medication. And while it helps a little, it only made me feel more hopeless. What if "getting help" doesn't work? It's the dark side of mental illness. The one not many people like to talk about, because nobody likes to accept this is as good as it's gonna get. You can get therapy. You can get medication. And you can fight the illness. I've done that. For years. And I've seen the exact same thoughts return every single time. When surviving a single day seems to take forever, you start to lose hope. You start to wonder if it's really worth it anymore. That optimistic voice in your head telling you it's gonna get better one day, is slowly disappearing.

I want to die. But I don't. I want to live. That's why I'm so sad. Because I like life. I had hobbies I used to love. I have a job which I like. Or, well, I should like it because it's a really good job and it pays really well, but instead of appreciating it... I see it as a place where I have to put up a facade for 8 hours a day. Pretending to be someone I'm not. Or not anymore, at least. It hurts me the most since I interact with normal, happy people. I guess some of them, like me, aren't really *that* happy either, but that's of little comfort to me.

Maybe it's messed up of me to think like this, but I really do believe death might free me. It's coming for us all one day, anyway. Should I really stay alive so much longer, just because? Should I keep pursuing that dream telling me it'll get better one day? Or should I accept I'll always be like this? It's so hard to decide. But I'm tired. Tired of the pain. Tired of keeping up appearances. Tired of not enjoying life anymore. Tired of having so many obsessions and negative thoughts that control my life.

Maybe death isn't the end. Maybe death is the beginning.

I can understand and appreciate the difficulties of mental illness, Confessor. I have family members that struggle with it, and it is a true, terrifying struggle. There are days where it can look hopeless, but never, ever give up hope. Keep fighting. Don't let your mental illness define you and your life. I hope you continue seeing a therapist on a consistent basis and I hope you can work this out.

 

[Reishiki]

Sometimes, I am very happy that I have been blessed with a...practical fetish, although I have quite a few other kinks that are rather more fanciful.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

So I think I am a sexual deviant, as in a sex addict. I think about it everyday, all day and I do different things to satisfy myself.

I guess I'll start with a little history. The first time I paid for sex was in Germany and it blew my mind. Ever since then, I have pretty consistently paid for it. Now I am married with kids and I still can't get it out of my system.

Through the years, I can't even count (or don't want to) the money I have spent on my "habit". As a matter of fact, I have an appointment in about an hour...

This is a problem, obviously. At work I am continuously browsing craigslist and backpage; texting, calling and emailing several of the ads. At home, I'll sneak away to get a quick blowjob in town. I've actually missed work to see women.

I have done all kinds of crazy things too, the story Zora told was relatable, although I haven't been a part of anything that out there. I have fucked raw several times, got burnt with gonnorhea twice; I am a complete idiot. I think I need counseling or something....

One time I thought I fell in love with one. She seemed different and I thought she may have felt the same (kind of still do). I left my home for a weekend to spend it with her, paid for her clothes and utilities, all kinds of stupid shit. Come to find out, she is a pain pill addict and that was why she was escorting to begin with. I thought I could "save" her (haha "Captain Save a Hoe"), but needless to say it didn't work out.

Dude. Seriously? Look, I'm not against people seeking out prostitutes or something, but doing so unsafely and behind the back of your wife is scummy as fuck. And trying to 'save' an escort. You already know how fucked you are.

See a shrink. Please. You already know this. I know this. Admit it to yourself that it's time to get some help.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

He needs to deal with that sex addiction. See a therapist.

 

[Mike M]

I can understand and appreciate the difficulties of mental illness, Confessor. I have family members that struggle with it, and it is a true, terrifying struggle. There are days where it can look hopeless, but never, ever give up hope. Keep fighting. Don't let your mental illness define you and your life. I hope you continue seeing a therapist on a consistent basis and I hope you can work this out.

Man, I can relate to this a scary amount. Even on meds and therapy, there are times where I'm just waiting for my life to end so I can get some peace. But I'm absolutely not suicidal, to be clear. I also know pretty much exactly what the biggest stressor that causes it is and I'm making efforts to get away from it (though it is far from easy).

 

[BLOODED_hands]

Damn... Confessor I hope things are better for you even with all the therapy and help you received. I hope you find true happiness confessor! Have you thought about saving a shitload of money and just living free-range? Go off the grid and just do you (not suicide)?

Giant fetish confessor, so long as you go into your first sexual experience with lowered expectations you should be good. Lay off the fetish for a while or start viewing them less and less.

Sex addict.... That sucks, you need some therapy asap especially since you have been doing it behind your wifes back and missing work for it. That's not healthy since you got gonnorhea too.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Been with my girl for 6months. I've dated others before but she my first real girlfriend (i'm 30). First few times we did it was a bit awkward (couldn't get it hard first time, couldn't finish second time, but smooth sailing since). I told her it was because it was because i hadn't had sex in so long/yrs (and she said the same) but in reality i lost my virginity to her. I haven't told her that. Our sex life is good now. Is there any point in confessing that to her (not sure what good that would do) or do i just take it with me to my grave?

I know this is is a mild confession compared to some of the others lol. I've just never anyone this in real life it's a bit embarassing lmao

Dude, you could have just been completely honest with her and I don't think she would have cared.

Now if you told her it'd just be awkward as hell. I mean, you probably should, be yeesh, if you'd already gotten that far with her (getting all horizontal and naked and shit), she probably would have still banged you.

Heck, she might have taught you a thing or two.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Day, uh... 12? At an end.

 

[Calvero]

Spoiler

you pervert

oh god lmao

 

[dreamcastmaster]

agreed, I'd not say anything now. However one day you know she's going to ask about other women you've been with, how many? are they better than her? then, you'll be in trouble.

 

[Calvero]

I have a fetish that most people will probably find weird. It's called macrophilia. I like giant women.

I think i got some of this. Not the whole crushing and eating people, and not as big as buildings. But time to time I try to imagine what sex with a very tall woman in regular proportions would be like.

All I want to do, is see you turn into...

a giant woman. a giant woman!

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm wondering if my attempt at pacing confessions out is stifling the thread. What do you guys think?

 

[Calvero]

I want to die. But I don't. I want to live. That's why I'm so sad. Because I like life. I had hobbies I used to love. I have a job which I like.

Maybe it's messed up of me to think like this, but I really do believe death might free me. It's coming for us all one day, anyway. Should I really stay alive so much longer, just because? Should I keep pursuing that dream telling me it'll get better one day? Or should I accept I'll always be like this? It's so hard to decide. But I'm tired. Tired of the pain. Tired of keeping up appearances. Tired of not enjoying life anymore. Tired of having so many obsessions and negative thoughts that control my life.

Maybe death isn't the end. Maybe death is the beginning.

i feel you confessor. this is exactly how i've felt for awhile now. the therapy and trying to sort through everything, being unable to understand what i felt or how exactly i felt was a nightmare to go through. it was exhausting and despairing. i attempted suicide and ended up in a mental hospital for awhile. at that point i just didn't want to feel anything anymore. i didn't care. i just went to sleep and hoped i wouldn't wake up. inside i met some great people who would all help and look out for each other. it made me care for them and made me truly take a look at myself and care for what i saw. when i got out i continued with medicine and therapy, but it was still tough and i dropped out of school because my anxiety reached the point where i couldn't leave home. that summer i pushed myself to join an internship as a teacher of sorts for youth of low-income families. it made me a lot happier. i think it's very important to do things that aren't what "should" make you happy, but those that do make you happy. It's been a few months since then and things still are difficult every once in awhile, but knowing that things can get better makes a world of a difference. don't give up please.

 

[Ampersands]

I'm wondering if my attempt at pacing confessions out is stifling the thread. What do you guys think?

Honestly, I only really check the thread at night which is about when you update with more confessions. I feel caught up, but I'm not necessarily hooked.

Maybe you should just post the confessions at different times so people from all over the world can keep the conversation going.

 

[Endruen]

Dude, you could have just been completely honest with her and I don't think she would have cared.

Now if you told her it'd just be awkward as hell. I mean, you probably should, be yeesh, if you'd already gotten that far with her (getting all horizontal and naked and shit), she probably would have still banged you.

Heck, she might have taught you a thing or two.

I don't see what's wrong with telling her. Maybe she finds it cute. If you love each other there is really nothing wrong with it. And maybe she decides to try new things because you've never done them

 

[dreamcastmaster]

I'm wondering if my attempt at pacing confessions out is stifling the thread. What do you guys think?

It does not feel as active as previous years. Make of that what you will.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Honestly, I only really check the thread at night which is about when you update with more confessions. I feel caught up, but I'm not necessarily hooked.

Maybe you should just post the confessions at different times so people from all over the world can keep the conversation going.

It does not feel as active as previous years. Make of that what you will.

I'll try to double the rate of confessions. I still have 40 something in reserve.

Honestly, the goal was to try and get people to read each confession because last year a lot of them were lost in the shuffle. Maybe that backfired a bit on me.

 

[Endruen]

I'll try to double the rate of confessions. I still have 40 something in reserve.

Honestly, the goal was to try and get people to read each confession because last year a lot of them were lost in the shuffle. Maybe that backfired a bit on me.

The problem is that you started spreading them and now you post 3 together. Or maybe that's my feeling because you post them while I'm sleeping, dunno.