NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2015 - Bare Your Burdens

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Dad said:
why are you eating at a strip club
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Fiction said:
I have to disagree with the quoted post above. Dude butts are awesome.
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Butt massages are amazing. I just mean a great rubbing on the cheeks.
Those who haven't had one yet probably thinks it sounds really weird, until they get one and they go "oh my god, this is amazing".

tl;dr, get someone to give you a non-sexual butt massage!
 
This is not a begging post, but rather to show how low I've become in trying to become a Neogaf member.

I have been attempting to become a member of Neogaf for over 8 years. Every 4-6 months, I'll create a new paid e-mail account and register in the hopes that maybe this time I'll be able to join in on the forums, but so far it's not happened. I have literally put in a request in every time I travel wondering if registering from different places might make a difference. I join public gaf chats when possible.I join gaf parties in shooters. I join gaf guilds in mmos when they allow outside members. I do it just because I want to feel like I belong; but I am constantly denied. Yes, I've even sent in confession e-mails multiple times in the past just wanting to feel a part of gaf. I see racists, gamergaters, and shitposters make their third alts and somehow get approved, but I never do.

It's getting to the point where I feel disheartened and lost. Neogaf is one of the only places where I feel like people can actually be spared some of the annoying shit you see all over the web from the darker side of our shared hobby, and they won't open the door to me and give me a chance. I badly want to belong, but instead I suffer in silence and go back to checking one of my 20 different e-mail accounts hoping that maybe today is the day I'm finally approved.
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Lemme give you a clue real quick, I'm 99.999% sure the reason that you are denied every time is because you are using a paid email service. Apply again but with an isp/work/school provided email and you'll almost certainly be granted membership.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I normally don't post the e-mails of Lurkers, but I'm making an exception for this one:



Dude. Get. A. Life. NeoGAF is just a fucking web forum. There are thousands out there with thousands of great communities and members. You know what they're composed of? People. Please, go outside, meet people, have fun. GAF... is just a fucking website, okay? All this effort you're spending to become a member of it seems really pointless and unhealthy.
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I always hear horror of people trying to get GAF accounts for months and at first I just went "what the fuck?" because mine got approved in a couple days. Now it seems like my experience is the exception and not the norm.

GAF is pretty cool and, but damn, the confessor really needs to chill with the GAF obsession.
 
This is not a begging post, but rather to show how low I've become in trying to become a Neogaf member.

I have been attempting to become a member of Neogaf for over 8 years. Every 4-6 months, I'll create a new paid e-mail account and register in the hopes that maybe this time I'll be able to join in on the forums, but so far it's not happened. I have literally put in a request in every time I travel wondering if registering from different places might make a difference. I join public gaf chats when possible.I join gaf parties in shooters. I join gaf guilds in mmos when they allow outside members. I do it just because I want to feel like I belong; but I am constantly denied. Yes, I've even sent in confession e-mails multiple times in the past just wanting to feel a part of gaf. I see racists, gamergaters, and shitposters make their third alts and somehow get approved, but I never do.

It's getting to the point where I feel disheartened and lost. Neogaf is one of the only places where I feel like people can actually be spared some of the annoying shit you see all over the web from the darker side of our shared hobby, and they won't open the door to me and give me a chance. I badly want to belong, but instead I suffer in silence and go back to checking one of my 20 different e-mail accounts hoping that maybe today is the day I'm finally approved.
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This fixation you have with GAF seems kind of bizarre and unhealthy, but I hope you get in soon! GAF isn't perfect by any means, but it can be a hell of a lot of fun. I can understand how having to watch it all from the sidelines might bum you out.


So I went over there, we get drunk, reminisce, laugh about better times, and eventually start fucking like rabbits. We fucked like we had both been poisoned and the only antidote was inside the other person's genitals. The condom broke (she is still the only person I've managed to break a condom with) and I finished inside her but she said it was fine because she was on the pill anyway and that was good enough for me, so we went to bed.
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This confession is actually kind of hot, tbh.
Cheating is bad, but after what you described re: the thrown pint glass and the overall state of the relationship, I have a hard time condemning you for doing what you did. Probably should have told your girlfriend at some point, though.

Also, I'm fucking sobbing at the bolded.
 
Kyledk05 said:
Cheating is bad, but after what you described re: the thrown pint glass and the overall state of the relationship, I have a hard time condemning you for doing what you did. Probably should have told your girlfriend at some point, though.
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If the relationship is that bad, break up. He's bragging about finishing inside two women within a day. I have no qualms condemning STD-Spreader.
 
Pharaun said:
I always hear horror of people trying to get GAF accounts for months and at first I just went "what the fuck?" because mine got approved in a couple days. Now it seems like my experience is the exception and not the norm.

GAF is pretty cool and, but damn, the confessor really needs to chill with the GAF obsession.
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My account took a few months to get accepted, but I wasn't freaking out like that confessor.
 
Llyranor said:
If the relationship is that bad, break up. He's bragging about finishing inside two women within a day. I have no qualms condemning STD-Spreader.
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It's easy to just say "break up" when you're not the one in the bad relationship. It's not exactly uncommon for people to drag out shitty relationships due to emotions clouding their judgment. I don't condone his cheating, but putting him on blast for it without really knowing what he was going through is shitty.

On the other hand, there's no justification for the confessor continuing to date his girlfriend for four years without admitting what happened.
 
Account Approvals said:
Lemme give you a clue real quick, I'm 99.999% sure the reason that you are denied every time is because you are using a paid email service. Apply again but with an isp/work/school provided email and you'll almost certainly be granted membership.
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AAHHHHH THE MODBOT IS PROCREATING RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
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I don't usually quote biblical versus, but "How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye."

It's food for thought.

I haven't heard a good confession from a face-to-face conversation in years.

Edit: Their experience with masturbation at a young age would probably interest sex-perts who study such things. He remembers doing it at such a young age. I'm sure a lot of us had out hands down our pants when we were that young.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I can understand and appreciate the difficulties of mental illness, Confessor. I have family members that struggle with it, and it is a true, terrifying struggle. There are days where it can look hopeless, but never, ever give up hope. Keep fighting. Don't let your mental illness define you and your life. I hope you continue seeing a therapist on a consistent basis and I hope you can work this out.
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Calvero said:
i feel you confessor. this is exactly how i've felt for awhile now. the therapy and trying to sort through everything, being unable to understand what i felt or how exactly i felt was a nightmare to go through. it was exhausting and despairing. i attempted suicide and ended up in a mental hospital for awhile. at that point i just didn't want to feel anything anymore. i didn't care. i just went to sleep and hoped i wouldn't wake up. inside i met some great people who would all help and look out for each other. it made me care for them and made me truly take a look at myself and care for what i saw. when i got out i continued with medicine and therapy, but it was still tough and i dropped out of school because my anxiety reached the point where i couldn't leave home. that summer i pushed myself to join an internship as a teacher of sorts for youth of low-income families. it made me a lot happier. i think it's very important to do things that aren't what "should" make you happy, but those that do make you happy. It's been a few months since then and things still are difficult every once in awhile, but knowing that things can get better makes a world of a difference. don't give up please.
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Geo said:
I definitely can relate to the feeling of being self-conscious all of the time. It is a feeling I have had since I was about twelve years old. I cannot talk to people without thinking how worthless they must perceive me. I always feel like I'm a problem in every social situation I am confronted with. I feel as though people don't want me there, and they just tolerate me because they have to follow social convention. I have felt this way every day for the last ten years. I also am hyper aware of my surroundings. It's fucking exhausting. When I drive I can barely keep it together sometimes, as I am concentrating on everything at once. I analyze every expression, every possible indication that someone is perceiving me as worthless, when simply in the presence of others. Sometimes I think it's because I want to know so desperately that they think I am worthless, just so I can reaffirm to myself that I am. It would be better to know than to continue to play this mental game every day, but I'm never certain. I have insane thoughts sometimes. I do unexplainable things sometimes as well.

Just like you confessor, I often think about the peaceful state of non-existence. I can't stop sometimes, but I know I have to. Like you, I have dreams that one day I will be able to overcome this madness. That one day, I will be able to do something in life that I never thought I could ten years ago. And it's frightening to think that the day I dream of may never come, but I'm going to fight and try like hell to overcome this shit. I haven't really enjoyed life in about a decade, and I'm sick of it. I used to wonder how I had made it this far. I used to wonder when I was finally going to just crash and burnout.

The only time I ever felt better was when I just accepted that this is who I am. I didn't choose to be this, but there's nothing I can do about that now. I am "negative." I am "strange." I am "insane." So fucking what? I like it. I love it. In the last year I have done things I never thought I could do. I feel more than just emptiness. It's still hard sometimes. I still feel like death would bring peace, and maybe it would, but what's the point? Like you said, what is the point of life? I don't know. What is the point of death? I don't know. Well, might as well experience this thing called life since it's what you got. Yeah sure, it's fucked at times. It's depressing at times. It can make you feel like shit at times, but it can also allow you to feel free. Suicide may bring peace, but it accomplishes nothing since you never can feel the freedom that is desired. Don't you want to know how it's going to feel one day in your soul when you're free from this? Don't you want to be there on that day? I sure as hell do.

Well shit, I was planning on having this let go via confession, but fuck it. Good luck confessor. As someone who has shared in it, and still knows it, I hope with everything I got that you overcome it. I hope you'll be there on that day. Best.
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To the confessor and both of you I highly recommend reading this.

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/20892-the-holy-grail-of-curing-dpdr/
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I normally don't post the e-mails of Lurkers, but I'm making an exception for this one:



Dude. Get. A. Life. NeoGAF is just a fucking web forum. There are thousands out there with thousands of great communities and members. You know what they're composed of? People. Please, go outside, meet people, have fun. GAF... is just a fucking website, okay? All this effort you're spending to become a member of it seems really pointless and unhealthy.
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I dunno man, NeoGAF.com is pretty great.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Dude. Get. A. Life. NeoGAF is just a fucking web forum. There are thousands out there with thousands of great communities and members. You know what they're composed of? People. Please, go outside, meet people, have fun. GAF... is just a fucking website, okay? All this effort you're spending to become a member of it seems really pointless and unhealthy.
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Poor dude probably just wants to use the superior dark theme
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Dude. Get. A. Life. NeoGAF is just a fucking web forum. There are thousands out there with thousands of great communities and members. You know what they're composed of? People. Please, go outside, meet people, have fun. GAF... is just a fucking website, okay? All this effort you're spending to become a member of it seems really pointless and unhealthy.
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I waited three years to be approved.

Three years.
 
Pharaun said:
I always hear horror of people trying to get GAF accounts for months and at first I just went "what the fuck?" because mine got approved in a couple days. Now it seems like my experience is the exception and not the norm.

GAF is pretty cool and, but damn, the confessor really needs to chill with the GAF obsession.
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My account, this one right here, only became active last month, and I only noticed it was active yesterday.

This process took me six years and multiple registrations.

People on N4G, Gamespot and Giantbomb would always talk about GAF, and I'd be envious, as none of my mails would ever let me register.
 
I don't even remember how long it took to get approved, certainly long enough for me to completely forget about signing up for here until I got the approval email. I want to say it was like 6-8 months though.
 
I have small dick, like a chode. sub 3 inches erect, maybe 4 erect?

what I can do to even get a girl, if she laughs or how can I even pleasure her.
I tried going the oral route and can get them to cum, but how the hell can I have intercourse?
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Why are you asking GAF, everyone here is 9.74" on average.

I mean... Lady-GAF, help a guy out.
 
I never thought I would contribute to this thread but I've got no one else to confide in or speak with.

For the longest time I've been unhappy with my appearance. When I was in grade school my best friend got chicken pox but the Doctor let him come back to school relatively early and of course I got it right afterwards which left chicken pox marks/scars over my face. In addition although I didn't have severe acne I did battle it throughout my teens and early 20's and it made me very self conscious when I broke out.

I tried all kind of regular treatment eventually trying accutane. I was warned about potential side effects but I was sick of dealing with it. It worked amazingly well and cleared me up. Magic I thought, except I noticed my hair thinning where before it was very thick and wavy. However once I finished my first dosage I started getting more pimples and quickly went back on a second dosage. After that it was clear it started causing serious problems with my hair thinning and suddenly I was facing prospect of balding within the year.

I've perhaps had a self-image problem but I also have a deviated septum (crooked nose) and large dumbo years.Frustrated by all of this I decided at the end of 2014 to fix this all for once.

First I went through a hair transplant in December with one of the most renowned surgeons a procedure which cost me in excess of 20K. In addition a few months later I saw a surgeon to get rhinoplasty and otoplasty (getting your ears pinned back). This was the beginning of my nightmare.

Surgery was routine I thought and I was bandaged and sent home after getting my nose and ears operated on. The next day I was able to remove the bandages around my ears that wrapped all around my head and I noticed what appeared like a large bruise on my forehead. In the next few days it became red and inflamed. The whole time I was communicating with my surgeon who was in a different state,sending pictures and he said although unusual said it was nothing to be worried about and was maybe a blood blister.

It 'blood blister' eventually started weeping and scabbing and left me with hyper and hypo pigmentation all across the length of my forehead. It has been completely debilitating, hiding from all friends, lying and finding excuses to not go to work (having to where a band-aid on my head for months- and almost being fired due to missing work). After months of this, the doctor said it could take a while for skin to return to normal pigment and darkening to subside.

Frustrated a few months ago I sought a 2nd opinion from a local dermatologist. She said that permanent scaring/scar tissue had formed and said unlikely skin pigment will return.

I went under surgery to be more confident and deal with issues I've had since childhood. Now I fear I've permanently scared my forehead, something I can't hide or disguise. It's ruined my relationship with my gf and there's no way I can continue to see her, I've hidden this from my family and friends and barely function.

In a few months if nothing is resolved I may have to get a scar revision. And I have to consider if I can peruse legal action against the original clinic. I am tired, frustrated and terribly depressed. I've considered taking my life and putting end to my misery. If I do although I have loving parents I know I haven't contributed anything of worth to m community and have no real social circle to speak of. Outside my parents I frankly don't think I would be missed.

Thank you for reading.
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Jesus, dude, that is awful. Sounds horrible. I'm not a lawyer, but definitely look into that original clinic for malpractice. Don't take your own life. I'm sure there are corrective solutions for this. Your parents support you. If your girlfriend loves you, she'll stand by you. If this is just temporary, you'll be fine. Keep fighting.
 
NeOak said:
I linked the confession to a friend, she said: Penis sleeve.
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Is... Is that a thing?! Wtf

Small Penis Confessor have you you know, tried pills or other stuff for penis enlargement?

That sucks to hear confessor.... I hope you don't choose the easy way out. Find some help ASAP. Stay strong confessor.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Jesus, dude, that is awful. Sounds horrible. I'm not a lawyer, but definitely look into that original clinic for malpractice. Don't take your own life. I'm sure there are corrective solutions for this. Your parents support you. If your girlfriend loves you, she'll stand by you. If this is just temporary, you'll be fine. Keep fighting.
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I want to know if this confessor is having problems with his girlfriend because of his confidence issues, or because she is being nasty about the discoloration.
 
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