NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2015 - Bare Your Burdens

Status
Not open for further replies.
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I don't. Get. People.



comment_gcgjmowwuydtkj0u1j.gif


wiu5Dmu.gif


zIs7YAv.gif


ohmrjpp.gif
Click to expand...

It's only wrong if they cuddle afterwards
 
ElectricMonk said:
Indeed siblings not raised together are totally into boning each other.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've read news stories before about Genetic Sexual Attraction which goes for any relation, sibling, parent-child, etc where they were not raised together and sometimes don't even realize they are related til after the fact. (I swear I read a story about two people who were related but didn't find out til just before or just after marriage. Forget which)
 
Stuart444 said:
Yeah, I've read news stories before about Genetic Sexual Attraction which goes for any relation, sibling, parent-child, etc where they were not raised together and sometimes don't even realize they are related til after the fact. (I swear I read a story about two people who were related but didn't find out til just before or just after marriage. Forget which)
Click to expand...
Jezza Kyle had a story where two gay men were fucking on the reg, only to find out they were brothers. Yep.
 
Biforce Of Power said:
Jezza Kyle had a story where two gay men were fucking on the reg, only to find out they were brothers. Yep.
Click to expand...

I saw this one! It was legitimately heavy, I felt so sorry for those guys. The odds of that must be pretty low and it still happened :( You could see it in their eyes, the moment they found out they were half-brothers, they were mentally going through all the sex they'd had and their faces just fell.

Actually this was also a plotline in Nip/Tuck, where a guy started sleeping with this random lady about his age and they eventually found out they were half-siblings. He complained to his dad, "but we felt such a strong connection!" and the dad said, "yes it's called DNA" haha.
 
Sagely said:
I saw this one! It was legitimately heavy, I felt so sorry for those guys. The odds of that must be pretty low and it still happened :( You could see it in their eyes, the moment they found out they were half-brothers, they were mentally going through all the sex they'd had and their faces just fell.
Click to expand...
Oh, yeah. I genuinely felt sorry for them. The odds of that happening are slim to none. Their faces when Kyle read the results of the DNA test was heart breaking.
 
ElectricBlanketFire said:
SmartRemoteHoneybadger.gif
Click to expand...
That looked like it hurt...
Jazz573 said:
This has actually become a meme on reddit. :P
Click to expand...
Jazz what's the story behind your tag? I know GAF gold is an in joke, but what does that have to do with the tag?
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Except that's an actual thing if this CONFIRMED AND VALIDATED Reddit AMA is anything to go by:
IAMA Man who had a sexual relationship with his mother. (Probably NSFW)
Click to expand...
Lol, oh so disgusting IMO.

Must.
Not.
Click.
 
I'm currently trying to be a filmmaker. If I fail, I will kill myself. That much is certain. I don't see the point in living a life for the sake of living. Fun and happiness are distractions, but if there's no end goal then what's the point? There is none. I have things I want to say/accomplish/express through film and I want that to be my legacy.

When people look back at famous artists, even geniuses like Michaelangelo are snubbed for DaVinci and Picasso. Philosophers? Hume, Locke and Berkeley are unknown names to the average person in place of Aristotle, Plato and Descartes whose philosophies all had severe problems and substantial criticisms.

This worries me. My narcissistic side wants to believe I'll be known as one of the greats among those who know, while the uneducated masses hear about fucking Nolan and Hitchcock (implying Nolan is anywhere near even Hitchcock's level) in 200 years. But the realist in me wonders if I'll even make it far enough to be known in this day. Hence the suicide. I'm not sad as such about any of this. But its my confession and I can never tell anyone less they try and tell me all the shit that makes life worth living.

I have worse confessions but I'm paranoid of google and the NSA and this has no effect on anyone but myself. (I swear if someone tries giving a lecture about how suicide is selfish...)
Click to expand...

What a stupid reason to kill yourself, hahaha. Unless you're the film making equivalent of Leonardo Da Vinci, you're done?

Alright dude, best of luck. It's nice to see people with goals.
 
I can help I think.

I'm also an aspiring filmmaker and screenwriter. I didn't want to kill myself, but I did have the worry that life and fun was a distraction from making films and writing.

And a very famous director said to me "The best films are made by those who know about life and all its pleasures and pains."

Go live life and enjoy it. Your movies will be better for it.

That said you sound like a cynical pretentious messed up person.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
What a stupid reason to kill yourself, hahaha. Unless you're the film making equivalent of Leonardo Da Vinci, you're done?

Alright dude, best of luck. It's nice to see people with goals.
Click to expand...

That doesn't make any sense and also is very selfish. What's the point of making great movies if not to entertain people who are just living life? And why are you any more deserving of attention and respect than the other billions of people on the planet? It just doesn't make sense.

On another note, Nolan is a much, much better director than Hitchcock. Most modern Hollywood directors are. It's hard not to be. Not because Hitchcock was bad but because the status quo has been so raised. Maybe Hitchcock was more bold for his time, or a better pioneer (still debatable), but he certainly isn't a better director.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
What a stupid reason to kill yourself, hahaha. Unless you're the film making equivalent of Leonardo Da Vinci, you're done?

Alright dude, best of luck. It's nice to see people with goals.
Click to expand...

Wow...just wow. So your first movie is supposed to have our heads explode from how much awesome it will be?Ok...

You're setting the bar so frickin high, it might aswell be floating in space. Best of luck to you!
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
What a stupid reason to kill yourself, hahaha. Unless you're the film making equivalent of Leonardo Da Vinci, you're done?

Alright dude, best of luck. It's nice to see people with goals.
Click to expand...

Dude, many of us have fears about how our lives will be if we aren't able to achieve our dreams or goals. This is normal.

Please don't be so afraid of the future and find joy in many things and not just one.

Also please seek some counselling/therapy to help you overcome your mental obstacles.
 
Biforce Of Power said:
Damn, GAF is cold. Mocking someone who has just said they'd kill themselves?

Good going, GAF, good going.
Click to expand...

To be fair, he said he wasn't interested in any help or preaching. Can't help someone who refuses it/refuses to listen so typing any kind words or anything about not killing himself would go in one ear and out the other.

It's why I didn't even bother to respond honestly about it (until now at least)
 
Biforce Of Power said:
Damn, GAF is cold. Mocking someone who has just said they'd kill themselves?

Good going, GAF, good going.
Click to expand...

He doesn't want help, it isn't a cry for help, and it's the dumbest reason I've ever read for suicide.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want him to kill himself. I wish him all the success in the world.

But it's a stupid reason to off yourself.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
He doesn't want help, it isn't a cry for help, and it's the dumbest reason I've ever read for suicide.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want him to kill himself. I wish him all the success in the world.

But it's a stupid reason to off yourself.
Click to expand...

I know right? Being worried about failing to achieve life goals or leaving a legacy that's personally meaningful or not impacting the world in a way that gives you any joy isn't a reason to kill yourself. We should save our pity for people with actual reasons to be suicidal, like teenagers that got dumped, etc.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
What a stupid reason to kill yourself, hahaha. Unless you're the film making equivalent of Leonardo Da Vinci, you're done?

Alright dude, best of luck. It's nice to see people with goals.
Click to expand...

Yeah it's pretty bullshit. Just going by the tone of the confession the films would probably be wangsty pretentious bullshit and not worth remembering. Trying to make yourself relevant through suicide is beyond stupid.

Confessor, if you really want to make great films go live life so you can actually show that in your films.
 
Transhuman said:
I know right? Being worried about failing to achieve life goals or leaving a legacy that's personally meaningful or not impacting the world in a way that gives you any joy isn't a reason to kill yourself. We should save our pity for people with actual reasons to be suicidal, like teenagers that got dumped, etc.
Click to expand...

If it was left at 'if I can't achieve my dreams, I'm gonna kill myself', I'd have understood.

But when he (she?) started pulling out philosophers and Nolan/Hitchcock comparisons, my sympathy evaporated.
 
Transhuman said:
I know right? Being worried about failing to achieve life goals or leaving a legacy that's personally meaningful or not impacting the world in a way that gives you any joy isn't a reason to kill yourself. We should save our pity for people with actual reasons to be suicidal, like teenagers that got dumped, etc.
Click to expand...

Well, the confession is pretty melodramatic, just like a lot of teenagers that get dumped and say they're going to kill themselves for attention. He wants to be remembered as one of the greats of film making? Then get good and work for it.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I'm currently trying to be a filmmaker. If I fail, I will kill myself. That much is certain. I don't see the point in living a life for the sake of living. Fun and happiness are distractions, but if there's no end goal then what's the point? There is none. I have things I want to say/accomplish/express through film and I want that to be my legacy.

When people look back at famous artists, even geniuses like Michaelangelo are snubbed for DaVinci and Picasso. Philosophers? Hume, Locke and Berkeley are unknown names to the average person in place of Aristotle, Plato and Descartes whose philosophies all had severe problems and substantial criticisms.

This worries me. My narcissistic side wants to believe I'll be known as one of the greats among those who know, while the uneducated masses hear about fucking Nolan and Hitchcock (implying Nolan is anywhere near even Hitchcock's level) in 200 years. But the realist in me wonders if I'll even make it far enough to be known in this day. Hence the suicide. I'm not sad as such about any of this. But its my confession and I can never tell anyone less they try and tell me all the shit that makes life worth living.

I have worse confessions but I'm paranoid of google and the NSA and this has no effect on anyone but myself. (I swear if someone tries giving a lecture about how suicide is selfish...)
Click to expand...

What a stupid reason to kill yourself, hahaha. Unless you're the film making equivalent of Leonardo Da Vinci, you're done?

Alright dude, best of luck. It's nice to see people with goals.
Click to expand...

Confessor, you appear to have come to the conclusion that life is worthless unless you are remembered as someone "great."

I want to propose an alternative.

You may think my alternative is trite, saccharine, or overly sentimental, and it's fine if you think so. I can't force you to change your mind, nor to look at the world the way I do.

This is simply the conclusion I came to after a prolonged existential crisis which caused me to teeter on the edge of an abyss of depression for some time.

We have a tendency to believe our lives are meaningless unless we achieve something significant, or are remembered with significance. Ironically, it is our inherent anthropocentricism that causes us to think so. We focus so much on human matters we fail to see the larger picture.

We are, all of us, composed of the same material as the rest of the universe. We think of ourselves as separate, apart, when, truly, we are the universe. We are every much a part of it as the tree in your backyard or any given exoplanet waiting to be discovered. We are the same part of Earth's resources as any other life. The water that makes up most of your body was once part of the ocean, trees, the dinosaurs, and so forth. It passed through a thousand lives on its way to you.

You propose life is pointless without a grand legacy.

I propose that is fundamentally impossible.

If we are the universe, then everything we do must necessarily alter the course of the universe. No event is its ending, where only the things people deem important are remembered and the rest washed over, it's the whole tapestry, the whole space of time and every actor within it, regardless of size or influence.

The space of time that is a life will never cease to exist. It will always have been there, a piece of all that will ever exist, and it will always have affected the other actors in the story: the people it spoke to, the objects it interacted with, all will have reacted differently due to its prescence rather than its absence, which will, in turn, cause other actors to react differently, and so forth. Chaos theory (the "butterfly effect") is relevant here.

Some people are going to read this and argue that it makes everything meaningless, that "if everyone is special, no one is." But I don't think so.

If you are necessarily part of the universe, and thus must necessarily affect its course...you've already passed. Proving your worth becomes unnecessary. It's already happened. It can't not happen.

And thus, your worth is divorced from your achievement.

This frees you up to set goals for you. Not because you feel you need to prove your existence, not because you want fame and grandeur, not because <insert externally-based reason here>, but because, on a fundamental level, you have a little snippet of existence, and you can choose how to leverage it.

I am not a singular object; I am an event, in which the same material that composes the rest of existence came together in the right way to form a tiny light of consciousness in a dead and dark universe. If the universe can be said to have thoughts, they are ours.

And I think that's worth something, remembered hundreds of years in the future or not.

You may rebuff this, and I expect many people will consider me overly sentimental. You have every right to do so.

And I hope you reconsider your stance.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
What a stupid reason to kill yourself, hahaha. Unless you're the film making equivalent of Leonardo Da Vinci, you're done?

Alright dude, best of luck. It's nice to see people with goals.
Click to expand...

Dude, confessor, you really shouldn't be aiming to be "one of the greats". I mean, if that happens, sure, it'd be neat, but it shouldn't be a "goal", because you'll be placing too much pressure on yourself.

If you wanna be a filmmaker, or someone who makes art in general, you need to focus less of being "one of the greats" and more on just figuring out the best way to express your ideas, and how to accomplish that.

Don't focus on what your messages might get you, don't focus on gaining success from your ideas, because that could take focus away from them and you could have an even LOWER chance of succeeding with them.

Just focus on the messages themselves, make sure they're solid. That's the best route you can take.
 
Transhuman said:
I know right? Being worried about failing to achieve life goals or leaving a legacy that's personally meaningful or not impacting the world in a way that gives you any joy isn't a reason to kill yourself. We should save our pity for people with actual reasons to be suicidal, like teenagers that got dumped, etc.
Click to expand...

Change "teenager suicidal because he got dumped" with "teenager suicidal because he can't date Jennifer Lawrence and Taylor Swift"

His obsession with being the best and only the best is unhealthy and he needs professional help fast, that's for sure.
 
BernardoOne said:
Change "teenager suicidal because he got dumped" with "teenager suicidal because he can't date Jennifer Lawrence and Taylor Swift"

His obsession with being the best and only the best is unhealthy and he needs professional help fast, that's for sure.
Click to expand...

Seems he doesn't want any help tho.
 
If anything, suicide seems counter-productive to his eventual goal.

Look guy, even the greats started out as scrubs. Mozart may have written his first symphony before his balls had dropped, but the very fact that nobody outside of music historians have ever heard it should give you some idea as to its quality. Beethoven's greatest triumph happened when old age had already taken his hearing.

If you cannot find an audience to connect to, it's probably because your work is crap. All that means is that you have to get better and to do that you'll need to work hard and for a long time. Until then, if you kill yourself, you're going to just die a poser who couldn't handle the pressure.

Wait until you have a house full of Starry Nights before you go cutting off your ear.
 
Trigger Warning

I'm just another person in this world, and am reading some of the darkest confessions in your thread and can relate to an extent, so I too will share my own story and pain.

My father was a soldier in a foreign country, and as you know, war is hell. This was no different for him. I know he never got over all the death and carnage he saw on the battlefield and it affected him deeply. He drank a lot to dull his pain, and unfortunately, that spilled over on to me and my mom during my childhood.

At his worst nights, he'd beat my mom senseless and on and on and on until she was bruised and bloody, along with the verbal abuse. She remained strong and defiant even then. Seeing this and being horrified, I came to her defense which netted me the same fate. He hung me upside down with his arm and whipped my back so much, I counted one time he hit me 25 times at full strength. It happened many times a month for years. The abuse, the hurt, the screaming, it all rattled and broke my mind.

At 10, I began showing signs of schizophrenia and believed there was a full fledged demon in me that came out when I wore a particular object. I became very abusive emotionally and physically myself, almost as twisted as my father. My family, the hurt I inflicted on them... I became very suicidal at 11 too. Even as an adult I am haunted by what I experienced and inflicted and have sought help. I was told it wasn't my fault by my therapist, but I still feel so much guilt and hurt. Thankfully, my dad is out of the picture and has been for quite some time...I'm the one who is taking care of the family and am doing my best.
But...the memories will always hurt. My ptsd, schizo (even if it has weakened significantly, thankfully) and depression will never go away. Regardless, I hope I can continue to remain as strong as possible, and I know it is possible for my fellow confessors too. May we all live rich and fulfilling lives. You too gaffers. Always try to seek help when life hands you a rough patch. I believe in all of you.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing that one, Confessor. I really hope everything is turning out well for you now.
 
I wanted to write a long, boring story about my whole life, but nobody really cares about that, so let's just cut through the crap:

I've thought about killing myself this whole day.

I was thinking about something like this since i was 14, but I've met friends in high school and it stopped for a bit. To this day only people from high school are my friends, I never could make any more after it.

I tried very hard to socialize, and thought it would be easier with people from my work, you know, the people i've been in one room for the last four years, with whom i laughed, talked about stuff and tought everything they know, but outside of work, on two different parties they a) walked away when I tried to chat and b) I've overheard them making fun of me when they thought i couldn't hear. Oh how I got hammered and I've cried alone for hours after that. So yeah, I don't try to meet new people now, because nobody that i didn't go to school with really likes me as a person.

So, work. This is the only thing from my life that i'm pretty good at, I've fucked up pretty much everything other than that (i'm stupid, virgin still in late 20s, I suck at university classes, and renting a room in my moms house). I really don't want to lose my job, and that will undoubtfully happen if I ever go to a psychologist to talk about my suicidal thoughts. He will take me to a madhouse first thing, i will lose it in an instant.

I've thought about how I could off myself. If this was america, i could have just buy a gun and off myself right there, in the bus. But it would be better if i would move out of my home to live alone, cut everyone still left in my life, and just quietly kill myself in a tub. i thought about my blood filling it, the mettalic smell, and all that.

So yeah, looney bin material.

I don't think I'll do it. Few years ago I've accepted that I will die like a dog, alone, and it's ok, but sometimes there are still days like this one.
Click to expand...

Okay, first off: Talking to a therapist is not necessarily going to send you to a madhouse. They aren't madhouses. A therapist's job is to help you feel better, help you talk through your problems and find solutions so that you don't suffer how you do now. It's the same thing at psychiatric hospitals. I urge you to get help. Your problems are not insurmountable no matter how it may seem.
 
Closing tonight off...

I sent in a confession back in 2012, that I am guessing a lot of people didnt believe. But their belief wasn't necessary, it was something I had to do. It actually caused me to regress further into depression over it all, but in the end it turned out for the best.

Not long after I sent in that confession I let my demons get the best of me, and made an attempt at suicide. It was obviously unsuccessful, and landed me in a psych ward for a while. However, while I was there I met an amazing psychiatrist that managed to pick my brain and tagged me with PTSD after what had happened. He himself was veteran, so he was able to put me in touch with support groups for others that suffered from it. At first I wasn't comfortable going to them, as they were filled with combat veterans, and here I was just some suicidal drunk that pulled a trigger. But once I opened up to them they were amazingly understanding, and helped me through my problems. One of them even sponsored me into AA to help me beat that as well. I have been going to both meeting now for 2 years, and am proud to say that I am now 2 years sober and have come to terms with what I did. I still ask myself every day if what I did was right or not, but I know now that I have to live with myself regardless and doing anything less would be an insult to her memory.

Also, thanks to all of this I eventually met my current wife. She was a veteran from Afghanistan, and after several months of meetings we started dating. We helped each other through our darker times, and kept each other from regressing. We were married just a few months ago, and are now expecting our first child. Needless to say, I could not be happier with life.

Anyways, I guess I am writing this as a way to thank Ronito for posting my email as it started my path to recovery even if it was a very dark path. I don't post of Gaf much these days, as I have a full plate with my job and a new wife. But, I still think about these threads, and how me randomly decided to tell my story changed my life for the better. I just want everyone that reads this to know that if you have demons that bother you, never be afraid of them. Facing them is a necessary thing to start a road to recovery, and there are always those that are willing to help if you just look for them. And sometimes, those that will help come into your life through other means. Either way, they are there. Just never give up hope.
Click to expand...

55c816a5169027501c6f13d4_td-salute.gif
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Confess your most gluttonous moments.
2
52
2K
nbcjr replied
Feliz Navidad |NEOGAF|
19
740
Pyramid Song replied
Dark/light mode Neogaf feature request
20
734
Danknugz replied
Help with neogaf website functionality. Constant freezes
2
64
2K
Major Insano replied
NEOGAF POSTERS OF THE YEAR AWARD
Social Opinion Community  2
71
2K
bender replied
Top Bottom