• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

New Study: Today’s Families are Prisoners of Their Own Clutter

Shauni

Member
I fight with my wife on a daily basis about this stuff. I want to live a practical, simplistic lifestyle and I loathe having unnecessary crap around the house. She on the otherhand hoards everything that meets her fancy. It's easily the number one source of friction between us.

Help me gaf.

I mean, is it something that is really that huge of a deal to you? Seems like that's a fairly mild thing to be the biggest friction in a marriage unless her spending is out of control because of it.
 

ruxtpin

Banned
But where else am I supposed to store my shoes when ladies come over? They're lined up nicely against the dining room wall.
 

XOMTOR

Member
I try to be as minimalist as possible but as a homeowner who's also a DIYer, it's ungodly the amount of stuff it takes to maintain a house/property. Wife and I are seriously considering selling the place and moving into an apartment.
 

Neo C.

Member
I fight with my wife on a daily basis about this stuff. I want to live a practical, minimalist lifestyle and I loathe having unnecessary crap around the house. She on the otherhand hoards everything that meets her fancy. It's easily the number one source of friction between us. She is fascinated by people who live in tiny homes though, it's almost as if she's purposefully torturing me.

Help me gaf.

You either can stomach her lifestyle or you both aren't compatible.
 

captive

Joe Six-Pack: posting for the common man
Yeah it's really gross. My mom and her husband - just the two of them, no kids, no pets - moved out of an 1800 square foot house with a garage and basement because it was "too small for them." They had storage units for their excess junk.

Now their place is about 4500 sq ft, with a full sized basement and two car garage. It's packed to the gills. Every drawer you open - full. Every flat surface - covered in things. Not hoarder level, it's somewhat organized I guess, but it's just shit. All useless. You could toss literally 95% with no loss of convenience or living quality. Everything they own, they own 4+ of.

Same deal with my girlfriends brother. Two kids, and they spend a fortune building this beautiful modern minimalist house - laboratory looking kitchen, custom interior glass doors, polished concrete floors. But it's FULL of toys. Every single floor of every single room is just overtaken with kid shit, none of which the kids care about whatsoever.

Not to get all sanctimonious but I live with my girlfriend and cat in a 275 sq ft apartment. I can cook any meal, I have one shelf of books, two sets of sheets, and exactly one of every item that I really need. Every time I buy new thing I find an old thing to toss. There's no shit hiding under my bed, desk, couch, or anywhere other than my closets. It's a good way to live, I like it.

But yeah, the discount culture has made a lot of people into semi-hoarders. Very anxiety inducing lifestyle.
again this is where i have to say props to my wife, shes gotten me to get rid of stuff and she definitely gets rid of stuff. We just moved into a bigger house but we got rid of a bunch of stuff before and after we moved.

I fight with my wife on a daily basis about this stuff. I want to live a practical, minimalist lifestyle and I loathe having unnecessary crap around the house. She on the otherhand hoards everything that meets her fancy. It's easily the number one source of friction between us. She is fascinated by people who live in tiny homes though, it's almost as if she's purposefully torturing me.

Help me gaf.
instead of fighting with her about it perhaps you should try when you are both in good moods explain to her how the clutter makes you feel, does it make you feel anxious, scattered or anything like that? My wife explained it to me in similar, it makes her anxious to have a cluttered home and it brings her calm and relaxation to have a neat and orderly home.

You either can stomach her lifestyle or you both aren't compatible.

this is none sense, as previoulsy stated i was the messy one and my wife the neat one. Because i love her i try to be a better person by giving her what she wants. Relationships are about compromise, not just giving up and saying fuck it.
 
I mean, is it something that is really that huge of a deal to you? Seems like that's a fairly mild thing to be the biggest friction in a marriage unless her spending is out of control because of it.

It is fairly mild, it isn't going to drive us apart, but for someone who ties minimalism to being a responsible steward of the planet it does bother me quite a bit.

She has made an effort to get better though, mostly because I made her see that it is a moral issue for me.
 

teh_pwn

"Saturated fat causes heart disease as much as Brawndo is what plants crave."
To be fair it's easier to not build up clutter as a modern gamer. Most games are digital. TVs are compact. The only clutter I'm building up are board games, but I could see that building up to 100+ in 40 years.
 

Steejee

Member
I feel like I have too much crap but when I look around it's really not all that much compared to some people I see. When we clean we're able to make the house look pretty tidy in just an hour or two. Most of the boxes we have in our basement are actually empty, contain other empty boxes, or just packing material. We just hang onto them to make moving easy. Boxes we do have in our basement could probably fit in one closet. I think if we cleared out the remnants of the stuff we bought for our wedding and I did a pass on my old electronics/dvds/motorcycle gear, that would knock out the bulk of my extraneous crap.

Wife does need to do a few more passes on her clothes and misc items - she attaches more sentimentality to things than I do, but is able to contain almost all of it in two closets.
 

zethren

Banned
I hate, HATE, clutter. I own very little overall. The only thing that I do collect are DVDs, and I keep those well organized as best I can at all times.

I actually want to own even less things than I do now.
 
I'm always tempted to sell or give away all my old physical games because of this, I just have a tub of them sitting in my closet, taking up valuable space, and I'm probably never going to play 90% of them again.
 
the only clutter i really have is clothing. like, if i just donated all the shit i never wear, i'd probably be able to fit all my stuff (except for a mattress) in a kia soul
 
We don't have that much shit (we can easily park our car in our garage) and we definitely have too much shit. Trying to have a yard sale just to clear the clutter.

I'm a bit skeptical of the article's conclusions based on its sample size (like 64 people?), but anecdotally, I've looked into several of our neighbor's garages in rural Appalachia (while driving by!) and there are a number of them that are effectively clutter storage.

It's a good feeling, ridding yourself of clutter.
 

entremet

Member
I try to be as minimalist as possible but as a homeowner who's also a DIYer, it's ungodly the amount of stuff it takes to maintain a house/property. Wife and I are seriously considering selling the place and moving into an apartment.

You can try tool libraries. Especially for your more less used tools.
 

Ambient80

Member
“Have I or will I use this in the next year?”

Yes, I keep it. No, I don’t (except for tools that I won’t be sure about).
 

GhaleonEB

Member
Most of the garages in my neighborhood can't fit a car in it. Some of those that have a car in it, the car is barricaded in with crap and also filled with junk.

I have pretty hard rules about not taking up more floor space with things in parts of the house, but we're definitely still too cluttered. We're constantly purging junk but things seem to keep accumulating.
 

Jag

Member
My 3 car garage only has room for 1 car. To be fair, I also have a workbench/work area that takes up a bay. I don't have a basement, so the garage substitutes.
 

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
I don't get it that hard myself. I'll get rid of stuff I haven't really used or books I've not read in years or dvds etc, but I'll hang on to some stuff.

Stuff is important though. What else is there?
 

AudioNoir

Banned
Every year, husband and I do a massive sweep of the house. We both hate clutter :( It's gotten harder with two kids, but weirdly enough, neither have noticed yet that some of their long-ignored toys are gone.

Very liberating to clean house.
 

Dhx

Member
"Actually, this is just a place for my stuff, ya know? That's all; a little place for my stuff. That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over there. That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff.
That's all your house is- a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get...more stuff! Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore."

Man was truly a treasure.
 

Fuchsdh

Member
I see this a lot in my neighborhood. People's garages are packed to the brim with boxes and shit, it is pretty wild.

I am literally surprised as hell when I see someone parking in a garage. New houses these days seem to have double garages growing like facial ulcers out of the front of houses, but I rarely see people parked in them.

At least in suburban America, it seems like its a vicious cycle of "we need more space for stuff" -> larger homes -> filling said larger homes with more stuff.

But judging by the massive numbers of self-storage places I see in NY and Brooklyn, it's certainly not a problem that's limited to outside urban areas.

Right now I'm digitizing a bunch of my wife's press clippings and trying to consolidate my vintage tech stuff. That'll leave my wife's clothes, art supplies, and books and the biggest stuff that takes up room. I know when we have kid(s) that'll be another hurdle, but dammit they'll play with the same shit I did growing up and deal with it.

Very liberating to clean house.

I guess I'm the extreme minority, but I tend to love cleaning. It's some mindless task you can do to give your mind a rest, and in the end you have a pile of trash or a clean room as a small accomplishment
until that room gets dirty again
 

XOMTOR

Member
You can try tool libraries. Especially for your more less used tools.

Never heard of such a thing but that's not surprising in rural Eastern Canada. We have tool rental places but their selection is slim and prices crazy.

Either way, any DIYer is going to need tools and after owning a house for 15 years and performing all my own renovations, it adds up to a fair amount of stuff. It all gets used but still I can't help but wonder what a nice apartment with minimal stuff would be like. Wouldn't have lots of projects on the go but I'm sure my weekends would be free again.
 

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
This is based on a study of 32 families in Los Angeles?

How can I take anything meaningful away from that?

I mean, you can use it conclude that LA is a garbage city filled with more garbage, but I think there was enough evidence of that already tbh
 
My aunt and uncle's house is the modern clutter fuck home to a T. They have one 11 year old and I don't think this kid has parted with a single toy in his life. His entire bedroom closet is filled, under his bed is filled, half of my uncle's office is taken over, and then the larger stuff bleeds into every other room of the house. And yup, can't park in the garage. They used to, but the kid's larger toys (that he doesn't use) now occupies the bulk of it. It's not crazy hoarder level and the house isn't dirty, just so cluttered with kid crap that you have to stare at your feet when walking around or risk stepping on something.

The trick is to just slowly get rid of some of their stuff when the kid is out of the house. When they have that much they won't even notice their birthday gift from 3 years ago that they used twice is now gone. My mom had to do this with my sister growing up because if she was asked to part with something she would go ape shit.
 

Mathieran

Banned
We definitely suffer from the clutter problem. We have more stuff than storage space. It will be better when the kids get older and we can get rid of all the kid stuff though. It gets on my nerves sometimes to live like this and I bet it adds to me stress levels but overall it's fine. I could easily clean house if my wife would let me. I've just learned to live with it though.

We use our backyard a lot though, except this time of year, fuck the heat. It is weird though we have a lot of neighbors with kids and we barely ever see any of them playing outside except one other family.
 

JoeBoy101

Member
GF and I both park in the garage. I feel superior now. Cool.

That's because us garage parkers are. We're not putting our cars at night in the elements, blocking sidewalks, or worse, parking on the street causing thru traffic issues.

Park your goddamn cars in the garage! I lose it in my neighborhood at the number of FOUR car families and not one of the damn vehicles are in the garage.
 
Another garage problem might be that cars don't actually fit. I've noticed a lot of garages of houses that are 20+ years old cannot fit a modern SUV inside.
 
While I don't buy that much stuff, I also have a habit of keeping stuff for a long time, so it builds up. It also doesn't help that one of my hobbies is cars, which takes up a lot of space.
I also have a problem of having more cars than garage spaces. We have a 3 car garage, but 8 cars on the property. Luckily we have an RV gate so 3 are parked in the back yard.

The only thing I buy these days that takes up space in the house are video games, manga and guitar stuff. I also have a lot of shelves, which helps a lot. Though it makes it seem like I have less stuff than I actually do.


Another garage problem might be that cars don't actually fit. I've noticed a lot of garages of houses that are 20+ years old cannot fit a modern SUV inside.

Yeah, I don't think a full size pickup will fit in the majority of garages.

My dad has a toyota landcruiser which comes quite close to the top of the garage door opening. If it was lifted or even had larger tires it might not fit.
 

kaskade

Member
I'm not horrible with keeping stuff but I can be pretty bad, especially clothes. There's some that I have with tags and never wore. I ended up putting it in a bag, hid it under my bed and I figure if I never want to pull anything from it I'll just take the bag and donate it. It's been 2 months and I haven't so I should probably just do it.
 
I've stopped buying a lot of what I used to and go digital where I can with things like books on my kindle and more games digitally. I still like having a nice library and things like that though. Having tons of books around has insured my son has a voracious appetite for reading and knowledge.
 

Pizza

Member
I have so much clutter rn. I've been slowly inching through all my belongings and getting rid of what I don't use or need: I want to move into an apartment with literally only stuff I'll USE.

I get into the bad habit of just shoving things i don't need somewhere instead of deciding whether or not I should even keep it. My parents have a two car garage and one half of it is so full of stuff that you can't even walk there. No thanks. I'm not going to own a home until I can keep it tidy with exclusively useful things. Also, my parents probably spend four to five hours a week of their limited free time struggling to keep our below ground pool clean and nice looking. We don't ever use it but it's a cooonstant struggle. I know my mom hasn't cleaned out her closet in like ten years.

Everyone is so busy that, if you're not on top of it, clutter becomes a monumental problem that you can't spend just one day fixing. I've lived like that my whole life, even through college, and it's a hard cycle to break.
 
My parents are like this, have been since I was born, and it's fucking gross. My husband doesn't like clutter in the house (Japanese mom) and I'm right on board with him.

Uhh, my mom's Japanese and her house is filled with shit. It's not a cultural thing at all.
 

Flo_Evans

Member
I was already a bit of a hoarder then I had kids... shit is everywhere man!

I try and resist buying more and tell people to donate to the college fund instead of buying more junk but it's pretty overwhelming. It's
 

Slime

Banned
7iQnh4s.gif
 

Feep

Banned
If I can foresee a future in which I will *not* need a certain item, I throw it away. Works pretty well.

Condolences to parents, though. You need ten trillion things.
 

RetroMG

Member
Yep, this is me. It's gotten better since we had a kid, (because once that little one started crawling, her play spaces had to be super clean) but there's still a lot of work to do. I just finished a semester of school and now I'm off for six weeks, so I'm going to spend that six weeks going through the house and just THROWING SHIT OUT.
 

Myriadis

Member
I live in a 25 square meter apartment so getting too much is a constant problem. I like to throw stuff out though, no problem. But not my vinyl collection, there's no way I'll get rid of that.

Sorry to break it to you, but they probably aren't. What you paid for them /= what they are worth.

That can go both ways. Bought some vinyls that are now more than double the worth. I bought the limited editon of "The Millers' Daughter" by The Drones for 25 and I can easily demand 80 for it now. Helps that there are only 500 of them.
 
I live in clutter. But I need my clutter! I'm not a hoarder, but I can become one. I just attach too much sentimental value to things and I have a lot of things that I don't want to throw away. I've put things away, but more things always take their place.
 

Dishwalla

Banned
Really I just have too many clothes now. Had tons of video games and DVDs and such I wasn't using, but I sold all that off in the last year or so. Still have too much clothing though, I never wear half the shirts I have for instance.
 
Top Bottom