Drinky Crow
Banned
Man, I just can't WAIT for the specs of the new consoles to hit so I can watch each particular fangroup calculate -- and badly -- whatever the next-gen term for fill rate or polygon throughput or <insert arbitrary scalar value taken out of context> is!
Maybe we'll even get some analysis of the first generation game performance, along with out-of-context quotes from exclusive top-tier game developers like Jason Rubin and Julian Eggbrecht! AWESOME!
THEN: the feature lists. "Xenon does blurb mapping in only two passes so why doesn't every game use it!" "Revolution uses octal FARF blending by precalculating the normals; no wonder Resident Evil 5 looks so awesome!" "PS3 has CELL -- OMG, CELL YOU FUCKERS CELL!!!!!!111"
We'll get the blow-by-blow analysis from barely-literate CS students and would-be game hackers as they regurgitate the worst of the Beyond3D forums here, working endless reams of simple, specious math that have absolutely no real-world bearing on ACTUAL GAME PERFORMANCE. We'll get these same numbers treated as irrefutable dogma, accompanied by accusations of "cheating" when rival hardware manages to host a really good-looking game, and maybe some earnest handwaving about art direction uber alles.
We'll get links to white papers nobody save Panajev will actually READ, but we'll see every crappy benchmarking pie chart and marketing bar graph ripped wholesale from their respective PDFs and used as incontrovertible proof of HARDWARE SUPERIORITY AND WOW HERE COMES ALL THE FREE SEX FOR THE SUPPORTERS OKAY WAIT IT'S NOT FREE SEX BUT A SMUG FEELING OF HAVING OVERWHELMED THE OTHER SIDE WITH TECHNICAL PROPAGANDA WHICH IS JUST AS GOOD RIGHT.
So I'm gonna ask you this: don't bring up hardware specs. Talk about the GAMES. Talk about frame rates -- that's cool. Talk about art direction. Talk about why fap mapping or schlong shading looks hideous. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't work any more of your retardo fanboy math this generation. Don't memorize endless reams of specs. Don't post out-of-context remarks from snarky devs pushing an agenda. Don't quote Matt Cassamamasamsmamsamsmamamamasssina on ANYTHING tech related.
PLEASE.
Ah, fuck you. I'm just kidding. Go crazy.
Maybe we'll even get some analysis of the first generation game performance, along with out-of-context quotes from exclusive top-tier game developers like Jason Rubin and Julian Eggbrecht! AWESOME!
THEN: the feature lists. "Xenon does blurb mapping in only two passes so why doesn't every game use it!" "Revolution uses octal FARF blending by precalculating the normals; no wonder Resident Evil 5 looks so awesome!" "PS3 has CELL -- OMG, CELL YOU FUCKERS CELL!!!!!!111"
We'll get the blow-by-blow analysis from barely-literate CS students and would-be game hackers as they regurgitate the worst of the Beyond3D forums here, working endless reams of simple, specious math that have absolutely no real-world bearing on ACTUAL GAME PERFORMANCE. We'll get these same numbers treated as irrefutable dogma, accompanied by accusations of "cheating" when rival hardware manages to host a really good-looking game, and maybe some earnest handwaving about art direction uber alles.
We'll get links to white papers nobody save Panajev will actually READ, but we'll see every crappy benchmarking pie chart and marketing bar graph ripped wholesale from their respective PDFs and used as incontrovertible proof of HARDWARE SUPERIORITY AND WOW HERE COMES ALL THE FREE SEX FOR THE SUPPORTERS OKAY WAIT IT'S NOT FREE SEX BUT A SMUG FEELING OF HAVING OVERWHELMED THE OTHER SIDE WITH TECHNICAL PROPAGANDA WHICH IS JUST AS GOOD RIGHT.
So I'm gonna ask you this: don't bring up hardware specs. Talk about the GAMES. Talk about frame rates -- that's cool. Talk about art direction. Talk about why fap mapping or schlong shading looks hideous. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't work any more of your retardo fanboy math this generation. Don't memorize endless reams of specs. Don't post out-of-context remarks from snarky devs pushing an agenda. Don't quote Matt Cassamamasamsmamsamsmamamamasssina on ANYTHING tech related.
PLEASE.
Ah, fuck you. I'm just kidding. Go crazy.
Really, it was exactly that but if you were to somehow combine it with any OT thread about semi-desirable underage pop singers you'd have the quintessential GAF experience distilled into it's purest form, and that's gotta be worth something. If someone had been able to imbed a midi clip into the thread it might have challenged Deadmeat's seminal SUPERKYRO as the Best Thread Ever.
