Before I got permabanned for having an opinion during the Nepenthe - Morrigan tranny scuffle that happened over discord about 6 months ago I was guzzling the koolaid. After lurking GAF-then-ERA for years and finally getting the chance to post, I made some great threads and funny observations over there, but getting permad was like getting kicked in the dick. Being welcomed back to GAF was definetly a win, this place is great, and I hope we get some good people that need that same win that I needed back then.
I am going to share with you a story I've never told before.
I never really knew what GAF was 'about', or how 'big' it was. But I remember searching for leaks or rumors and once or twice a webpage article would mention this place. I would go to the link only to see people swearing at each other and general unpleasantries. I would roll my eyes and leave the page, looking elsewhere.
One day I saw an article saying that due to some weird sex scandal or something, a massive exodus occurred and a new forum was made in order to celebrate equality away from corruption. I followed the link and I remember me going to the video game forums and quietly nod at the news and announcements that place had - ERA. I placed in on my favorites and became my #1 choice for finding out news (and leaks) about the games I was most looking forward to. Occasionally I would see a member getting banned for views other people condemned and deemed to be rude and inappropriate. Note that I only lurked because I didn't have a business or private e-mail in order to join. I only had Yahoo.
And that's when it hit me.
As a non-American (I am Greek, born, raised and living in Greece), I must admit I never gave notions of racism and sexism a lot of thought because frankly, aside from the Pakistani and Albanian immigrants trying to make a living here, we never really had another 'race' for us to be racist with. But I thought about Greek cinema and how condescending it was (especially in the 60s) towards black people (who were literally one amongst a hundred whites) and I remember thinking to myself ... "Wait ... the way these people (ERAnites) are acting towards those comments made by their fellow members ... I had no idea they were so offensive and racist! Wow ..."
So I decided I should (this is the important part)
change my views and be less prick-y and making fewer jokes that other people may find racist or bigotted. I started nodding my head and agreeing with the views the ERAnites had, because I had decided that was the right way of thinking.
And that went on for a few months.
But as time went by ... I began to notice that people were getting banned more and more for reasons I thought were ... too much. I remember someone making a thread about SonicFox winning EVO and talking about trans rights, with the majority of ERA being "WOO HOO!! YEAH!! TRANS RIGHTS, WAY TO GO, FOXX!!" and then ONE guy made a post reply saying ... "Good for him. I'm straight." as if it wasn't THAT big of a deal that SonicFox felt the need to celebrate the fact he was a transexual. And I agreed, because the point was that being trans was nothing to be ashamed about and meant having as much worth as a straight person had. It didn't mean that he is meant to be ABOVE everyone else, just because he's trans.
*BAM* Banned. "Reason: Dismissiveness, harassment, and homophobia" or some shit like that. And I'm like, thinking to myself ... "Wait, what?! He didn't say anything insulting or homophobic - he just implied this isn't something that needs to have a national holiday about. Seriously?!"
I found myself beginning to dislike the mods and their hostile, dismissive way of handling opinions who weren't even rude, just different. I found myself googling 'ResetERA sucks' to see if I was the only one - if I was a bigot and I just didn't know it.
And boy, oh boy ... I wasn't the only one.
As I searched and dug a little deeper into ERA history, I finally read more about the story with Evilore and his supposed 'sexual assault'. I began lurking on NeoGAF as well, despite being a mere shadow of its former self.
The last straw, the final thing which made me roll my eyes in disgust and erase ERA from my bookmarks was when Ronda Rousey was announced to be the VA for Sonya Blade in Mortal Kombat 11. People on ERA were FURIOUS because she was apparently a transphobe and a horrible person. Turns out the only thing that Rousey said was that women were at a disadvantage when facing transexual women in fighting because of difference in skeleton/muscle mass/density. That's it. Simple facts and science.
And anyone, ANYONE who dared to suggest that there is a SLIGHT POSSIBILITY of this being confirmed by SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH was immediately harassed, ridiculed and banned.
That was when I knew that, like Spider-Man in the first Civil War ... I had chosen the wrong side. I stopped lurking at GAF, and never looked back. I found out that GAF was accepting members even with a Yahoo mail, and I joined.
Aside from a couple of subreddits and my very own discord ... this is the only forum I hang out with.
Now, the point of this whole story is that I COMPLETELY understand you. As humans, we are social animals and social animals are instinctively inclined to follow the herd. When the herd is going in one direction and agrees that that direction is the right one morally (and in theory the particular morality makes sense in your head), it is easy to accept it and allow yourself to be 'brainwashed'. I mean, what they preach - in theory - is nothing to dismiss or scoff at. No racism! No sexism! No homophobia! Equality! Yaay! And without me having another forum to hang out in order to hear different opinions, it was relatively easy to let myself be convinced that they were in the right.
Except that it was never true. And once you leave the herd ... it is painfully obvious.