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Nuclear War

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Drozmight

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What will you do when you find out Russia and the US have launched their nuclear warheads at eachother? You're as good as dead, so I've been thinking what I'd do once it all goes down (it's bound to happen some day).

I think I'll drive to a mountain some where, set up a lawn chair, crack open some beer (maybe some wine), put on some some ambient music and watch it all go down. If I don't die from the first strike, I'm bound to be obliterated once the nuclear subs release their payload and destroy anything the ICBMs didn't touch.
 
Well, not specifically dealing with nuclear war, but I got into an "interesting discussion" (read as: argument) with my GF the other day about what I'd do if we were separated and certain death was approaching, say, in an hour.

I told her that I'd call her and call my family to say goodbye and express my feelings...and then spend quality time trying to have sex with the nearest willing female. I was somewhat kidding, but she sounded somewhat offended. The thing is, the joke is mostly based on what the typical guy POV has always been in that situation: if you're going to die, go out with a bang!

Is that just a guy thing, or would the ladies on the board also be looking for a last quick fling before oblivion? (Hey, that sounds like an album title...)
 
Drozmight said:
What will you do when you find out Russia and the US have launched their nuclear warheads at eachother? You're as good as dead, so I've been thinking what I'd do once it all goes down (it's bound to happen some day).

I think I'll drive to a mountain some where, set up a lawn chair, crack open some beer (maybe some wine), put on some some ambient music and watch it all go down. If I don't die from the first strike, I'm bound to be obliterated once the nuclear subs release their payload and destroy anything the ICBMs didn't touch.

I'm not worried about Russia anymore. I image we'll see a nuke from somewhere else first.

I imagine Iran shooting off this missile aimed at Washington D.C., and then Saudi Arabia just being like, "Whoops", and 'accidentally' launching an ICBM at the U.S., and then North Korea flattens most of Japan while the U.S. has it's back turned, and launches shit at the west coast just to be on the safe side.
 
I'd shoot myself before the radiation got to me to avoid the rush, and get a good position in the line to the gates of purgatory.
 
Drozmight said:
I think I'll drive to a mountain some where, set up a lawn chair, crack open some beer (maybe some wine), put on some some ambient music and watch it all go down.
watch out for those cougars! (or whatever the hell everyone makes jokes about in regards to season two of 24)
 
Nightbreeze said:
Shit I dont know what I would do? I live in Northern Canada so I might be safe? If not, the beer/sex plan sounds good.

Dude, you'd be in a perfect position to see the missle pass by eachother.
 
Drozmight said:
Dude, you'd be in a perfect position to see the missle pass by eachother.

I imagine living in Canada would be doubly dangerous. I mean, when is the missile defense laser (or whatever) going to strike, before or after that ICBM crosses the border?

Anyway, I'd like to be able to slit the throat of the idiot next to me who yells, "It's a noo-kyew-ler bomb!" I think I could die happy then.
 
kumanoki said:
I imagine living in Canada would be doubly dangerous. I mean, when is the missile defense laser (or whatever) going to strike, before or after that ICBM crosses the border?

I donno, good point. It'd be like fourth of july... only with death raining down from above.

In that case, maybe you could go out to a frozen lake and ice skate.
 
Personally, I would much prefer to be within the blast zone that just outside of it. Better to die in a flash of blinding heat than to be hurled one way and then another, surviving long enough to endure the flash burns and inevitable cancer that follows.

Ooo! Scuba-diving! A way to survive! Picture this: You and a group of fellow scuba divers is off the coast of Florida or somewhere scuba diving. Let's say you're five meters down. The bomb drops. All of the sudden, the water above your head becomes superheated, and several unfortunate divers get caught in it, their tanks exploding. You dive deeper, to where the water is cooler, and wait. When things calm down topside, you resurface in the desolate radioactive wasteland you've always wanted, at least until the next bomb drops.
 
kumanoki said:
Ooo! Scuba-diving! A way to survive! Picture this: You and a group of fellow scuba divers is off the coast of Florida or somewhere scuba diving. Let's say you're five meters down. The bomb drops. All of the sudden, the water above your head becomes superheated, and several unfortunate divers get caught in it, their tanks exploding. You dive deeper, to where the water is cooler, and wait. When things calm down topside, you resurface in the desolate radioactive wasteland you've always wanted, at least until the next bomb drops.

Open Water 2! (Snakes on a Plane)
 
I would quickly convert to Christianity. Their stupid religion says that Gandhi is going to hell, but if an asshole like me accepts Jesus as his Lord and Saviour minutes before his death, he gets to go to heaven! Ain't that GREAT?
 
Raoul Duke said:
I would quickly convert to Christianity. Their stupid religion says that Gandhi is going to hell, but if an asshole like me accepts Jesus as his Lord and Saviour minutes before his death, he gets to go to heaven! Ain't that GREAT?

but jesus is soft on defense. he would probably vote against the missile defense (that wanker) you wanna convert to a religion that has a figurehead who is soft on defending our homeland?!
 
I would gather round my droogan friends call all of my bitches and fuck all of them at once.
Give em the old In Out, In Out!
clockworkorange.jpg

Of coarse my Droogies would get the scraps after I tenderize and smash!

Then I would grab my 45 put it to my chin and blast....
Fade into Nothingness while my spirit gets a head start as my whole being and the earth are incinerated damned in flames!!!!
 
DJ Brannon said:
I would do my damndest to catch the nuke. I won't succeed, but damn, would it even matter?
:lol :lol :lol

I like this one, just try catching it like a baseball, not like there's anything to lose haha. Human spirit defined.
 
Probably just close the windows and check the fridge for food, as I doubt Ireland is on anyone's nuclear target lists. Maybe take one of those anti-radiation pills the government sent us in case of a nuclear emergency.
 
Duck and cover! :lol

I'd get in my car and drive as fast as I can out west to the Everglades. I'd run every stoplight and blast through all the toll gates as I try to get far enough away from ground zero so I can look forward to a future full of marauding mutant hordes hellbent on eating fresh, non-mutant brain. PEACE.
 
Haha...

I was thinking about whether or not they'd issue an alert or not. I don't think they would. There wouldn't be any point. You might as well have everyone die in the blast rather than the rioting and choas that would be sure to follow an alert that serves no other purpose than to let you know you're dead.
 
DSN2K said:
I would post in the offical Nuclear War thread all day. :lol

:lol +1

I would then make plans to create the inevitable "The Official So You're Dying of Radiation Sickness" thread later that week. I'd take some time to google up good images of radiation burns and maps of fallout shelters, throw up a couple of links to online faqs, you know do the labour to make the thread a valuable forum resource so it gets a sticky from one of the mutated zombie-mods.
 
If you're speaking a matter of hours, I'd probably call some girlfriend for sex one last time. Which person in their right mind would deny that :P.
 
Of course, as a zombie mod, I'd still have to ban people for being fanboys. Some dipshit would start claiming that it wasn't a sneak attack, it was a REAL megat0n from Nintendo, and all hell would break loose.
 
evil solrac v3.0 said:
but jesus is soft on defense. he would probably vote against the missile defense (that wanker) you wanna convert to a religion that has a figurehead who is soft on defending our homeland?!
jesusbush.jpg


:ohtehnoes:
 
Raoul Duke said:
I would quickly convert to Christianity. Their stupid religion says that Gandhi is going to hell, but if an asshole like me accepts Jesus as his Lord and Saviour minutes before his death, he gets to go to heaven! Ain't that GREAT?

You do realize that Ghandi's "stupid religion" also says you go to hell if you don't chant ito it's gods as they're the only way to atone for sins. Don't you? And if you don't follow the tenets of buddhism, you're reincarnated as a stick of gum. Aint that great? :/
 
I will die trying to live - getting myself, family and anyone else willing to not roll over as far away from a major city as possible and hopefully into a large body of water :)
 
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