Support NeoGAF

[Syriel]

Tara* had struck gold. After spending a lazy Saturday afternoon browsing through the dating app she was currently experimenting with, she hit it off with a nice-sounding guy, and the two exchanged real names and numbers. She found herself Googling Stuart*, a Brit living in Amsterdam. He worked at a startup; he was visiting New York on business. "I was like, oh, he’s kind of cute…"

Neither had plans that night, so they started figuring out where they could meet up for a drink. When Tara suggested a restaurant in midtown Manhattan, Stuart was into it: "Okay cool, my hotel is super close to there," he messaged back. The mention of the hotel gave Tara pause, and she asked him what exactly he had in mind. "We can go back after and have some fun," he said.

Tara hesitated. This guy seemed nice and normal and safe and she was down for a fun night out with a visiting stranger, but she drew a hard line when it came to sex on the first date. "I was like, ‘Listen, I don’t know who you’ve met [on this app], but I’m not going to fuck you, I’m sorry,’" she says. Her match was taken aback. "Oh," he responded. "I thought that was the expectation."

These kinds of conflicting agendas will be familiar to anyone who’s done much Tindering or Bumbling or OkCupiding, where one person’s one-night stand is another person’s chance at finding The One. But Tara wasn’t using any of these apps. This was Ohlala, and Stuart had already agreed to pay Tara $600 for their date.

Launched in August 2015, Ohlala is a web-based app that facilitates what it calls "instant paid dating." Male users post offers for dates, consisting of a time, a duration, and how much money they’re willing to pay — a typical offer is from 1–4 hours at an average price of $300. While the request is up, women can decide whether or not they’d like that person to be able to contact them.

Getting exactly what you want as quickly as possible is the general goal of countless other startups. But because the "what" in this situation isn’t cars or bánh mì but human companions, Ohlala, and other apps that facilitate paid dating, are most easily understood in terms of sex work. This isn’t a huge roadblock in Germany, where the app first launched, and where sex work is legal. But in February of this year, Ohlala crossed the Atlantic and launched in New York City, where not only are the laws different, but social interface is as well. Sure, sex workers and escorts can find plenty of work here, but it remains to be seen if we’re comfortable calling that "dating."

The legal situation, of course, is less permissive in New York than in Berlin. But the cultural situation is really what Poppenreiter is trying to disrupt, despite the fact that the team did no substantial market research before coming to the States. During our conversation she’s careful not to use words like "escort" or "sex worker" when describing the women who might use Ohlala (the app’s website states in no uncertain terms that escorts are "not welcome" to use the service). Everything about the site’s tasteful pastels screams "This is normal! This is for you, normal girl! We’re all normal! We all charge money for dates!" But no matter how much Poppenreiter may be trying to redefine our attitudes around paid dating, in the United States, what she’s selling exists in the same legal loophole as escort agencies. Charging money for a date is still charging money for a date, whether it’s your sole source of income or not, and it’s hard to unseat centuries of religious and moral baggage that come with the American Dream. You can tell yourself you’re just a resourceful girl looking to offset the cost of cab fare and a personal trainer, but in the eyes of the law, you may as well be a hooker.

"He’s actually really cool," she says. "He’s someone that I’d right swipe on Tinder anyway, so it was totally okay." Their date turned into a few hours of bar hopping, and ended with a little bit of making out.

"Sometimes it’s nice," Tara says. "I’m single now. It’s nice sometimes, to be in the company of a guy that I’m attracted to and see where it goes."

"I’m 100 percent certain I’ll fuck him," she says, with an ear-to-ear grin. "I like him."

But throughout our conversation, she vacillates wildly on whether or not the feeling is mutual. They still text, but Stuart has a wife and kids — even on their first (relatively) chaste date, he expressed doubts about straying from his marriage. The money only clouds the issue further. Perhaps, she says, she would have been open to sleeping with him after the night went so well if they had met any other way. But she couldn’t trust herself in that transactional space. "I’d feel like… well, did I only do it because you gave me money? I don’t know."

Source: http://www.theverge.com/2016/7/14/12183012/ohlala-paid-dating-app-berlin-pia-poppenreiter-uber

Solid, long form piece by the Verge.

In the end though, if you're charging money for companionship, you're an escort. Not sure why the company behind the app is trying so hard to avoid that.

On the flip side, women using the app could probably deduct anything used for date prep (clothes, makeup, gym costs) as business expenses if they filed their taxes correctly.

 

[cheezcake]

So this is what happens when silicon valley tries to Uber-ise the world's oldest profession

 

[LUFTRAUSER]

Uh. Any women that uses a pay-to-date app like this and doesn't think the guy will expect sex are either naive or in denial. Like, seriously.

 

[The Llama]

What the what... Jeez. Had never heard of this before.

 

[tearsintherain]

I'd pay $600 to go on a date with coolio and talk to him about his recipe book

 

[Pagusas]

Just the story you want to tell your future kids about how you met their mother. "I paid her $600 to give me a shot"

 

[commedieu]

I'd pay $600 to go on a date with coolio and talk to him about his recipe book

Give me 50 bucks he lives up street from parents.

 

[BronsonLee]

*plays Million Dollar Man theme*

 

[badcrumble]

Saying this (or escorting) isn't about sex work is just like saying Uber is actually about people making a little bit of money on the side and not people trying to do it full-time, or like saying Airbnb is about individuals renting out their side rooms and not landlords renting out entire buildings of apartments as hotel rooms.

 

[Dennis]

Identifying prostitution. Yup, that is prostitution.

This is good old fashioned prostitution.

In fact, it is almost a non-story. Use an app, search on internet, call a phone number, meet at club, pick up on street. What is the difference really?

 

[Geist-]

 

[Dennis]

You are right, I should start charging money.

 

[Slayven]

How much for a taco bell drive thru and a hardy handshake?

 

[kswiston]

You are right, I should start charging money.

I am reminded of a story about people auctioning off their virginity a few years back. A 20 something girl was able to get an $800k bid. A virgin guy of similar age and attractiveness was offered like $600.

 

[MegaManTrigger]

Identifying prostitution. Yup, that is prostitution.

This is good old fashioned prostitution.

In fact, it is almost a non-story. Use an app, search on internet, call a phone number, meet at club, pick up on street. What is the difference really?

The same non-sense with Uber when they had issues in certain jurisdictions: "I-i-it's not a taxi! It's just a ride-sharing service that has an identical fare system to taxis!" Only in this case: "I-i-it's not prostitution, I'm just offering a sexual service for money!"

Nothing wrong with prostitution, just call it what it is.

 

[Mediking]

Lmao ummmm....

 

[dangeraaron10]

I'm confused here. I actually had to re-read this several times. So this new app is an escort app that doesn't call itself an escort app? Is it actually trying to sell itself as a "pay for a date" app that doesn't necessarily include sex? Because if it's the latter then why bother? That's the cost of, if not more so, than actual escorts in Vegas.

 

[Henchmen21]

Came in expecting this. You let me down gaf.

 

[Dennis]

I'm confused here. I actually had to re-read this several times. So this new app is an escort app that doesn't call itself an escort app? Is it actually trying to sell itself as a "pay for a date" app that doesn't necessarily include sex? Because if it's the latter then why bother? That's the cost of, if not more so, than actual escorts in Vegas.

So like any other type of escort service this doesn't have to include sex if for some reason that is what you are after. You could in principle just be looking for an actual escort to an event.

 

[perfectchaos007]

I'm confused here. I actually had to re-read this several times. So this new app is an escort app that doesn't call itself an escort app? Is it actually trying to sell itself as a "pay for a date" app that doesn't necessarily include sex? Because if it's the latter then why bother? That's the cost of, if not more so, than actual escorts in Vegas.

Technically paid prostitution is illegal in Vegas too. You pay a girl for "companionship" and their time. The sex can only be implied, legally speaking. It's stupid

 

[Beerman462]

So was the woman in the op surprised that her for profit date might include sex?

So like any other type of escort service this doesn't have to include sex if for some reason that is what you are after. You could in principle just be looking for an actual escort to an event.

Ohhhh

 

[Condom]

no prostitution at all officer

 

[Dennis]

So wax the woman in the op surprised that her for profit date might include sex?

Waxing is extra.

 

[Beerman462]

Waxing is extra.

Too fast..

no prostitution at all officer

 

[andythinkpad]

What a fucking cocktease. I hope these women don't use the feminism argument.

 

[E92 M3]

Props to the designers that made the app. There is money to be made.

 

[gutshot]

Stuart is a dick. Go home to your wife and kids, asshole. Props to Tara though for getting that green.

 

[Guess Who]

It's hard to blame women for trying to make $600 from selling a sex-not-guaranteed date when the real problem is someone is willing to pay $600 for a sex-not-guaranteed date.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

I'm confused here. I actually had to re-read this several times. So this new app is an escort app that doesn't call itself an escort app? Is it actually trying to sell itself as a "pay for a date" app that doesn't necessarily include sex? Because if it's the latter then why bother? That's the cost of, if not more so, than actual escorts in Vegas.

So both parties can delude themselves they they are no part of that imorral prostitution industry as they are actually better than that.

 

[Coriolanus]

Stuart is a dick. Go home to your wife and kids, asshole. Props to Tara though for getting that green.

but what if the wife knows and is cool with it, tho?

 

[Koomaster]

Doesn't make sense from either side. You think you're worth several hundred dollars just for a date? You think it makes sense to pay several hundred dollars just for a date?

 

[hoos30]

A $600 "date" better come with a no questions asked, satisfaction guarantee.

 

[Ozigizo]

but what if the wife knows and is cool with it, tho?

While we're on this tangent: what if they don't?

 

[gutshot]

but what if the wife knows and is cool with it, tho?

You think she'd be cool with him paying $600 to NOT have sex? That's lame af.

 

[KevinCow]

What? There's an app where you can pay women to go on a date with you?? I might actually be able to get a date this way!

... Wait, that's right, I have no money either.

 

[S-Wind]

So Tabris isn't the only guy who thinks nothing of dropping several hundreds of dollars on a date?

 

[Coriolanus]

While we're on this tangent: what if they don't?

Then that is sad.

You think she'd be cool with him paying $600 to NOT have sex? That's lame af.

Paying that kinda dosh to not have sex means that we're already well past the point of reasonable sanity, so anything goes.

 

[hodayathink]

The funniest thing about this is that that's only true because they live in New Hampshire.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

It's hard to blame women for trying to make $600 from selling a sex-not-guaranteed date when the real problem is someone is willing to pay $600 for a sex-not-guaranteed date.

But it's in writing. She said even after her posturing that she wants to fuck him. So she pocketed the money, knows he's married, and still is going to bone him the next time he drops into town.

He gets what he paid for, just with standard shipping instead of overnight.

 

[Arkos]

I'm shocked. SHOCKED I tell you.

 

[dangeraaron10]

So like any other type of escort service this doesn't have to include sex if for some reason that is what you are after. You could in principle just be looking for an actual escort to an event.

Technically paid prostitution is illegal in Vegas too. You pay a girl for "companionship" and their time. The sex can only be implied, legally speaking. It's stupid

So both parties can delude themselves they they are no part of that imorral prostitution industry as they are actually better than that.

Oooooooooh, okay. Reminds me of that "Bro" app that's basically Not-Grindr, to get the D without the stigma gay guys get. Having your cake and such.

 

[devilhawk]

Seems the app could avoid this if they instituted reviews and ratings. The first time you abruptly ended with $600 would probably be the last date you got.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

So I signed up for this, and if you sign up as a chick there's no space to put your location... just your name and occupation (lol). Wouldn't your location be more useful than what you do?

I'm going to try signing up as a guy and see if it's different.

BRB will report.

*edit: I'm dumb. Just realized this app is only for people in NYC.


NEVERMIND.

This is the kind of thing I can see scammers running wild with. Since no location is used, are transactions handled prior to meeting? I would assume not but curious how it's structured.

 

[Spaced Harrier]

Ahh its one of those articles that are difficult to read due to the excessive eye rolling it induces.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

It's ironic that this is, in theory, actually the better form of prostitution, as opposed to the sadly common kind in the States that involves trafficked girls being forced to sell their bodies against their will and for someone else.

Oh dear... this is what I was talking about. And its not as prevalient as the media portays it.

 

[shintoki]

So in Germany, this app is used for prostitution, but we can't call it that here. So it's "dating".

....

 

[Volimar]

Well, stay safe ladies.

The funniest thing about this is that that's only true because they live in New Hampshire.

Eh? Family Guy is in Rhode Island.

 

[Aztechnology]

Poppenreiter is a Madam essentially. Not sure why she's deluding herself.

 

[Whitephantomzx]

Soooo now where paying money just to get a date?!? Do we at least spilt the bill on dinner?

 

[CadetMahoney]

Ahh its one of those articles that are difficult to read due to the excessive eye rolling it induces.

I loled at this more than I should have.