I know where you live, thanks to an OKC profile you posted earlier in the thread. UK. Cocky profile, had a young daughter if I remember correctly. Dig it up I could find the town. This girl likely lives within 25 miles of that. A reverse-GIS could bear fruit. If not there's good old Facebook searching. Near enough geographic area, a name, approximate age range, followed by visual comparison....
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
I know where you live, thanks to an OKC profile you posted earlier in the thread. UK. Cocky profile, had a young daughter if I remember correctly. Dig it up I could find the town. This girl likely lives within 25 miles of that. A reverse-GIS could bear fruit. If not there's good old Facebook searching. Near enough geographic area, a name, approximate age range, followed by visual comparison....
You work at Microsoft? Cool!!!
The rule isn't up for discussion. It's a general privacy measure, and frankly I'm surprised at people breaking it in the first place. Regardless, that's the rule. If you can't or won't abide by it, feel free not to post here.
NoctisVsStar
Member
Btw does the rush hour thing works? Seems like I got a free boost.
Gray Matter
Member
The thread subtitle makes a lot of sense now.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Faces and usernames need to be obscured if you're going to post them.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Okay, so girl I got on well with in high school... we completely fell out of contact, just due to apathy, that was like 5 years ago. I think mostly because we were both seeing people, and we're both single now.
How do you strike up a conversation with somebody like that? I have her on Facebook and she regularly pops up and likes my stuff, we both like Game of Thrones, I could talk to her when the new episodes come on maybe?
I shouldn't be this calculating...
How do you strike up a conversation with somebody like that? I have her on Facebook and she regularly pops up and likes my stuff, we both like Game of Thrones, I could talk to her when the new episodes come on maybe?
I shouldn't be this calculating...
NoctisVsStar
Member
Ask her if she wants to catch up via coffee since it's been awhile.
I've gone out with girls that live in Williamsburg and even then, I haven't felt any chemistry possibly because I feel like I'm being judged coming from a different socioeconomic background. The girls that it went well with fell off so I moved on. Hispanic women might have certain expectations of guys that it might be a bit more difficult. Eh, I don't see why meeting up at a bar and hooking up is a common association. That's hilarious. Museum dates aren't exactly any better in my experience unless the girl is an artist herself.
Again, I would say not to feel sorry for yourself. You live with your parents? You're working towards goals. You've never been to the 7 corners of the world? No big deal, save up money and work towards that stuff. I totally hear you on the expectations with spending money but maybe it's because you haven't met the right ones. I'm 26 and live with my parents while I'm still trying to figure myself out professionally so that I can eventually get to a point where I can eventually live on my own. If that's an issue for others, then so be it. Life is too short to be feeling bummed out over that stuff. I've been to the D.R. several times and only a handful of states but it still doesn't phase me.
It's good that you're working towards eventually moving into an apartment with friends. It's tough but it'll teach you how to manage your money and even feel independent. I don't see why it's bothering you so much. I mean most 20 somethings are still living with their parents so there has to be a fair bit of understanding from people who come from privileged upbringings/are young professionals.
So I've been my bashing my head against the wall with these 2 girls I've been messaging for the past 2 weeks. I messaged one on Thursday asking what her weekend plans were. Check back today and check that she was last on 19 hours ago. I followed up with another girl on Fridday and suggested exchanging numbers; she was last online today and did not reply. I know girls get flooded with new messages every day. How do I follow up with them now? It's been a pain in the ass.
Wait, you think it's gonna be common that women are gold diggers? Or just that dates may not go well? If it's the former, that's... a little rude, honestly, and a very negative mindset to have going into the dating world. You gotta be more optimistic than that!
Wait, you think it's gonna be common that women are gold diggers? Or just that dates may not go well? If it's the former, that's... a little rude, honestly, and a very negative mindset to have going into the dating world. You gotta be more optimistic than that!
Just, like... she wasn't at all impressed with what I've accomplished with my life. I'm only 22. And so was she lol. She insisted on paying for the date too, and I told her I thought it was really cool that she didn't automatically expect the guy to pay for everything. She replied that wasn't the case and just thought the richer person should pay for things. Ouchhhhhh. It wasn't that she was a gold digger, I just didn't match up to her in the way she wanted.
It's something I've never dealt with before so I was kind of offended. You're right though, I shouldn't apply that experience to other people.
Gray Matter
Member
When did 17 year olds start looking like 25 year olds? All these teenagers confusing me lol
User 479360
Banned
I just got home from my first date with the woman who's seven and a half years older than me. It went really well, and I know I made a good impression because she definitely seems to want a second date.
I like her, but I'm still deciding if I feel chemistry there. I don't want to string her along, but would like to try dating. I just know that if things progress, I could hurt her, which scares me because she's far too good of a person.
(I'm over-thinking things again. Damn it.)
She asked me the other day, and we agreed on meeting at her place. So, I brought some movies over that we could watch (she doesn't like scary movies, unfortunately). However, when she hooked up her DVD/Blu-ray player prior to me coming over, she realized that it was missing the required HDMI cable so we couldn't use it. Instead, we watched some hockey, Big Brother (I told her to put it on since she'd PVRed it and I didn't mind), also the movie Fever Pitch since she had it on her PVR and I'm a fan.
She also had The Hangover II, but that movie blows.
We talked a lot, and got along well. I also maybe spent too much time trying to get her cat to come to me, but I'm a sucker for animals. We sat on the same couch, but didn't hold hands - we did kind of sit up against each other a bit though.
After the movie, she asked if I'd give her a massage because I'd said I would over text. I said sure, and gave her a lengthy one. I guess that was her making a move.
We hugged at the end, and she texted me afterwards saying I seemed nervous but that she hoped she didn't make me feel awkward. I said she didn't, and just said I'm new to this and shy. That is the truth.
She wants more massages, offered to let me do a topless one, and I got a bra pic. She also asked what I was doing tomorrow, but didn't mention doing something so soon. It worries me how busy she is, though, with bowling and following a junior hockey team around for the playoffs.
I'm worried about the age gap, and am not sure if I'm incredibly attracted to her, but I want to give it a shot.
I like her, but I'm still deciding if I feel chemistry there. I don't want to string her along, but would like to try dating. I just know that if things progress, I could hurt her, which scares me because she's far too good of a person.
(I'm over-thinking things again. Damn it.)
She asked me the other day, and we agreed on meeting at her place. So, I brought some movies over that we could watch (she doesn't like scary movies, unfortunately). However, when she hooked up her DVD/Blu-ray player prior to me coming over, she realized that it was missing the required HDMI cable so we couldn't use it. Instead, we watched some hockey, Big Brother (I told her to put it on since she'd PVRed it and I didn't mind), also the movie Fever Pitch since she had it on her PVR and I'm a fan.
She also had The Hangover II, but that movie blows.
We talked a lot, and got along well. I also maybe spent too much time trying to get her cat to come to me, but I'm a sucker for animals. We sat on the same couch, but didn't hold hands - we did kind of sit up against each other a bit though.
After the movie, she asked if I'd give her a massage because I'd said I would over text. I said sure, and gave her a lengthy one. I guess that was her making a move.
We hugged at the end, and she texted me afterwards saying I seemed nervous but that she hoped she didn't make me feel awkward. I said she didn't, and just said I'm new to this and shy. That is the truth.
She wants more massages, offered to let me do a topless one, and I got a bra pic. She also asked what I was doing tomorrow, but didn't mention doing something so soon. It worries me how busy she is, though, with bowling and following a junior hockey team around for the playoffs.
I'm worried about the age gap, and am not sure if I'm incredibly attracted to her, but I want to give it a shot.
Gray Matter
Member
Asking for multiple massages, a topless one too, sounds like she ways things to move along fast.
User 479360
Banned
Yeah. That's why I worry about hurting her, because I've been talking to other girls who may be better matches for me and I don't think I'm ready to make a commitment to her.
All along, all I've wanted is a relationship and commitment. But now that I likely have the option, I'm unsure. Story of my life.
Gray Matter
Member
I think her age might be the factor here, you mentioned she was 7 years older.
That girl belongs on Seeking Arrangements, not OKCupid...
So you met this woman, you're not incredibly attracted to her, you're concerned about how much she travels, you think other girls would be better for you...and you don't want to have sex with her (which is what she's obviously after), because that'd be a commitment you don't want to make.
Why are you with her? Don't confuse the desire to not be alone with the desire to be with this woman.
User 479360
Banned
You're right. I don't want to be alone. But, I also agree with you that I need to try not to confuse the two.
I do like her personally, am somewhat attracted to her and wouldn't be opposed to an intimate relationship. However, I don't want to hurt her and don't think she'd be someone I could spend the rest of my life with due to the age gap and other aspects./
EDIT: Keep in mind that this was just a first date. I'd like to get to know her better before really making a decision. I've yet to say anything about us being together, or really make anything concrete. Nor have I asked for a second date. She's hinted at it.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Tell her you left that behind in you college days.
Essentially paraphrase what I said above and make it fit for you situation. My last online date, before she disappeared off the face of the planet on me, didn't drink and said she'll go to dive bars and order expensive soda instead.
I've felt I was judge twice for the same thing, so I know what you mean but like I said the majority of the white girls I've been seeing are like super in love with Hispanic culture which is cool with me. I'm not sure what it is with Latina's but I've never gotten much love. I suppose so, but damn. I pretty much only do bar dates now, at least on a first date. It's been just working well, even if I don't get lucky. If we click I'm open to any thing.
Ya, same here. 27 and I feel like I'm at the same point in my life. I know most of these girls, especially the white girls I've met have had privileges I haven't. Which is not a problem with me, though they're sometimes shocked at how little I've traveled.
I feel like this moving out stuff is really starting to take off. I have two best friends, that I've known since the 4th grades and had planned to room with one of that. Yesterday he tells me that his sister is down to room with us as well, and today out of the blue my other best friend ask if we're still looking for roommates, as he's considering moving back from upstate New York. I'm pretty excited at how this Summer is potentially looking. I really have to turn up the job search however.
I guess I'd just wait for a reply. Something similar, but I sent a text to the girl I hooked up with a Friday to see if she was down to hang again on Thursday. I know she was looking for a casual consistent thing. No reply, so I guess not with me. Which is kinda disappointing, though I feel I might have been a little too clean cut in her eyes. It was an amazing night at least. This week sucks schedule wise, I'll only have a free Thursday night.
Some drama also happened today, which was kinda lame. So I actually have been talking to a girl for a few months and we've hung a few times but she's always super busy. Anyway I somehow matched with one her best friends and was baited into asking her on a date, sorta. it's bullshit though because I had no idea she felt that way about me. In fact, I would have been down for something serious but I thought she wanted something more casual. I don't care that I was set up or whatever, but I do wish she would have been more open about her feelings. She was pretty mad tho.
Damn, she sounds... well... you know. Maybe if she was older, and you were older, I can kinda maybe not really see where she's coming from, but even then her attitude towards money and stuff like that seems sour. If I was in your position I'd be a bit offended as well (especially since, if I've been reading your more recent posts, you seem to be doing pretty darn good for a 22 year old).
Better luck next time, Grizz :3
When she texted me after and said it wasn't gonna work out, I asked for her advice on what I could have done better. The only thing she had for me was that it bothered her that I talked about high school in any capacity. Straight from her text:
"I think highschool achievements are not necessary in post college conversation"
Which is absolute nonsense, because I didn't talk about high school achievements. I told stories about my time as a saxophone player throughout my education since she asked me about playing instruments. Part of that time was high school. Part of it was middle school too. Stories are stories, and shaming me for talking about things that happened prior to a certain age seemed really strange to me. She had only moved to the US for college, so perhaps there's some kind of cultural stigma against it in her home country. You get the picture. It felt totally unnatural and weird and threw me off since we got along incredibly well over chat and text before meeting up.
But hey, that was the first date I've been on in half a decade, and it should only get better from here.
Gray Matter
Member
Yea, that doesn't sound very fun. On to the next one.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
She sounds a lot like this one girl I met: grew up in a privileged household and is used to a lot of money. She's probably looking for someone older with a six-figure salary, a house, a car, etc.
Haha and that just reminded me of another girl, who told me about how she went out with a guy with a boat and another with a plane.
I'm not saying they're gold diggers, but they have a certain lifestyle that differs from mine.
User 479360
Banned
Why the hell did I join Zoosk after hearing about its forced payment plan? I thought I'd at least be able to communicate somehow, but apparently can't.
I clicked meet me on a cute local girl, and she sent me a message I can't read. I sent a gift, because I had no idea of what else to do.
I clicked meet me on a cute local girl, and she sent me a message I can't read. I sent a gift, because I had no idea of what else to do.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
She asked me "what kind of girls have you met online?" (which I never bring up myself because it's like talking about your exes). I mean, it's cool that a guy took you flying, but way to make me feel inadequate.
This is the same girl that told me I reminded her of her brother because I said I play video games.
Needless to say, I couldn't delete her number fast enough.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Speaking of this, is it okay to be turned off when someone says something like that? It happened once before and I'm questioning if I should have felt weird about that or not. Kind of factors into why I never thought seriously about maybe dating someone I knew because of that.
If that weirds you out, a lot of girls looks for qualities they find in their dad.
Depends if you're being unfairly prejudiced against them (before getting to know them) for a preconceived notion you have about people who play video games.
Though it's one thing to prejudge someone for a hobby and another if they say they're a tea party supporter. I'd nope out so quickly at the latter I don't care if I'm prejudging them.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
I think it was in a more positive light, but it was probably within the first week I knew her. I think it was less about the video game aspect and more about "like my brother"
I would probably react differently now, but that was when I was 18.
I'd say it depends on how its said.
"Oh, you play videogames? So does my brother." seems fine.
"OMG you play games just like my brother!" If she sounds waaay too excited about it, or goes on and on, that's a little weird.
Gray Matter
Member
Not sure if this happens in other areas of the country, but where I live (northern Connecticut) lots of the girls on tinder have the sentence "no time for fuck boys" or some variation of that on their profile.
That just sounds immature, needless to say, I swipe left on those.
That just sounds immature, needless to say, I swipe left on those.
Fuckboy, fuccboi, and any other variations are just part of a meme. It doesn't mean anything and is supposed to be funny.
Gray Matter
Member
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
When you forgot what teenagers look like. I've had the same thing happen, I always think kids are 2-3 years older than they are. It's what happens when you're not around them every day in school any more.
Gray Matter
Member
If her profile had not said that she's 17 and a junior in high school I would messaged her. She was really cute too.
I'm 19 myself, there isn't such a big age gap there, but when I was 17 I was already graduated from high school. She still has another year to go.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
In my case her tone and demeanour seemed kind of dismissive, kind of like an "oh, you play games like my brother".
Who knows, it was a long time ago and I probably overreacted and rewrote the narrative to fit my version of events haha. Everyone needs a "bad date" story.
Man, do I feel old when I realize that kids are much younger than they look! I always assume that everyone I know is over 21. If she's 17 going on 18, then it would be fair game assuming she was a super junior but it sounds like she's not. I usually see people who lie about their age but have written on their profile that they're much younger possibly because they come from the generation that lied about their age to make a Facebook account..
And plenty of girls put "if you're looking for hook ups, swipe left" or some such variety to ward off potential creeps. I find it a bit immature myself if a 20 something has something like that listed on their profile so I usually ignore it.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
it was more like the "OMG" line in my case.
Gray Matter
Member
It sucks when you're impressed by someone just based on their profile and pictures and they don't message you back.
Earlier today I turned off the location filter out of curiosity and found the most incredible and beautiful woman, a 95% match in Germany. I knew that'd never be possible but I felt compelled to hit on her anyway. We ended up exchanging a few messages and wishes of good luck. It was super cute.
Gray Matter
Member
So you're saying I should message people that I probably won't get to see in person?
No lol. I was just trying to say that I think I know what you mean when you see someone and you're just like, DAMN. But you can't get anywhere with them.
I once had a very nice conversation with a cute redhead for a couple of days...if only she didn't live over 1000 miles away.
Probably the worst non-reply of mine...98% match with a cute redhead (i have a type) in my city. Develops games, similar taste in movies, music, everything.
Oh well, can't dwell on the loses. Only need one win and the game's over forever!