Support NeoGAF

[Ferrio]

Well I haven't read much, but the first 22 pages... so I'll just list some things.

-Book is made out to look like high school textbook.
-Reads like "The Onion", just think textbook instead of newspaper
-Don't expect a serious book
-Lots of off the wall charts, graphs, maps, whatnot.
-Going with the schoolbook theme, lots of fun activies, homework, fun facts ect.
-Yes it does contain pictures of very old, very naked men and women
-Has a huge poster of "The shadow government", haven't taken it out of the book yet so can't comment more on that.

Quotes from the book:

"In sixteen hundred and two zero
The Pilgrims landed dressed real queero"

"Plymouth succeeded because its inhabitants did not come to the New World searching for glory, adventure, or hot man-on-Indian action. Rather, the Pilgrims had come to escape religious persecution, to create a society where they could worship as they pleased and one day, God willing, even do some persecuting of their own."


"In fact, whenever the subject of the New World was mentioned within earshot, the Duchess could always be counted on for a wistful headshake and a hearty "motherfuckahs love that motherfuckin' tea,"

(from a discussion question)

"5. The notion that each individual has worth in society found political expression in the invention of democracy. What's bullshit about this?"

 

[MetatronM]

The section on the "Rest of the World" in the back is great.

 

[demon]

"In sixteen hundred and two zero
The Pilgrims landed dressed real queero"

Umm.........wow.

 

[Santo]

So... do you like it thus far? I almost picked this book up a couple times but hestitated for various reasons. Is it 100% fake or does it talk about real current events?

 

[Ferrio]

So far of what I read it's only the history of democracy.

Ya there's real facts in it, but told in a humorous way with tons of fake facts put in.

 

[etiolate]

I like the book. A special quote:
"Mess witha mothafuckas tea and the shit be on!"

PS: NAMBLA is in the book

 

[Drozmight]

I bought it too. It's pretty fun reading. I like the articles in the back about having a beer with each of the candidates, the Kerry one cracks me up.

 

[FortNinety]

-Don't expect a serious book

Come on, were people really expecting this?

 

[xsarien]

"Plymouth succeeded because its inhabitants did not come to the New World searching for glory, adventure, or hot man-on-Indian action. Rather, the Pilgrims had come to escape religious persecution, to create a society where they could worship as they pleased and one day, God willing, even do some persecuting of their own."

Greg Proops on the Pilgrims is much funnier (and if you've ever seen the special, his delivery makes it pure, comedy gold):

http://crankymediaguy.com/groovefunkistan/transcripts/ccpresents.html

My feeling is... the Pilgrims were *asked* to leave England. England was never funner than when the Pilgrims split, right? The people in England got a little tired of these dour, right-wing, conservative, psycho-Christians wearing all black, bumming people out, *confusing* everyone by wearing buckles (points to shoes) on (points to belt) their heads (points to head). "Is that tight enough for you, Cotton?" "Yea, verily."

Finally, someone went, "Hey, I've got a crazy idea. Why don't you freaky little weirdoes get in a rickety, leaky, dinky little boat and get the *fuck* off the island? (makes kicking motion) Sail around 'til you hit the new world. When you get there, commit genocide on the indigenous people, all right? Have a groovy time. Have a witch trial. Let us know how that works out for you. We'll be back in England having the Renaissance in case anyone needs us. So they send this group over, right? With guns and bibles and *no* farming implements. Hmm. How English is that? (fairy English accent) "Oh, surely there'll be a shop open. I say, Squanto, can you make us some baked beans on toast?" They send this group over, and then I have to hear this all the time: (gruff English accent) "Well, all Americans are fat and stupid." (goofy chuckling) Really? Well, thanks for sending over the best and brightest to start the party, huh? Maybe we could send over some freaky Texas militia hate-group, gun-toting weirdoes over to your country, huh?