I've learned my lesson, hard way. But honestly...dealing with Anxiety in this form. As much as I don't want to make excuse, what I experienced even before, led to it. Not my vice, I hate alcohol before. I did not expect....shit, I more and more ashamed to read that post. You know, I sounds like complete human garbage and if I take these things out, I think I otherwise done pretty good in life, but this still is going to be probably one thing I am going to be forever judged on. But, hiding it would be hypocritical and all I seek, is to show in raw form, what it can do, so if anyone find themselves in any part of the story. There is still chance to change things, reading through this would likely impact hardly my decision, because my luck to "speedrun" it this way, keep my brain still at the same level, even maybe better than before. Since I've learne or re-learn English after 6 months. And I know, there are typos, bad times used in the text. But let's just say, I have not proof readed at all to give authenticity, which it deserves. Maybe it sounds pretentious, but that's how I felt, I edited only more text, not words.
And thank you, it means a lot.