I do watch a lot of videos on quantum physics, super string theories, and other complicated shit. I try to learn the basics to reliably understand quantum physics and quantum theory on a respectable level in Layman's terms.
I never considered myself great at writing. I always believed my self to be passable most of the time. And then something happened. In community college, I hit collegiate level math and got a 150% or somewhere around there for the semester. I'm a bit hazy and having memory recall issues thanks to a week of mild insomnia. My average # of nights spent on each of the 6 major papers was around 4 nights and 8 hours total. I didn't bother with much proof reading and restructuring. I just fuckin rain manned it.
My professor in the class, who had a doctorates in English writing, said that my overall work and finish products were just about equivalent to, on average, solid B grades, and my best work was around a 95% on my best one Doctorates program English paper. I thought he was just saying that I was that skilled of a writer just to boost my confidence and keep going, but giving such honest and detailed opinions on each of my major papers for the semester and exaggerate how good the quality of my writing was and my skill level far exceeded the first collegiate level English course I had ever taken. It didn't come from consistent improvements in my English writing skills in high school. Those were 4 years of D, D, C-, D- only because the teacher pitied my dumb ass and and rounded up to the nearest whole number.
My sister and her fiance both have bachelors in English from a 4 year university. And they took forever to get them. I took two refresher English courses as it had been 8 years between college and high school, and suddenly, me, a 1.9 gpa high school GED fat fuck, was writing at a level a good deal beyond what two bachelors students did. They passed with C's and B' near the end. I just typed and typed and typed. my fingers became Forrest Gump, and the screen Became Jenny...of course my gpu started to display lovely and massive artifacts and died of computer aids (vrm failure). They did the "yeah but blah blah downplay a massively amazing amount of praise and surprise that I was a much better writer than them and fucking tore through college paper exams and essays without really having to try and say, give more than 60% effort at worst.
What they didn't know is that I took their midterm papers, and mine, and brought them to my professor. He said my work was in another league, and they would not pass with their best midterms. So I just accepted that fact and let them live with the delusion that I was simply a far superior writer than them and did so without any kind of struggle. After he compared my midterm to to theirs, I accepted the fact that I was simply better at it than them by a significantly large margin, but never gloated about it. But I was an idiot for not pursuing a career in writing since it came so naturally to me. Truth is, I love and hate writing. I love that I am capable of really good work, but I hate the thought of it becoming my livelyhood. Of course on the advice of my family, I got tested for ADD, ADHD and autism. I was negative across the board, and my learning comprehension was pretty much normal.
Plus i just enjoy writing simple shit and not give a shit of how good it is.
Edit: Also migraines and shit when trying to do my best. probably a tumor or a Goa'uld.
