We had a thread like this a while back for the different series: let's have one for movies. This thread is understood to be spoiler-filled, so I'm not marking anything.
1. STII: Wrath of Khan. Ricardo Montalban, earwigs, a mass hanging, Moby Dick allusions, Paul Winfield, Kirstie Alley, Shatner's best acting, the Genesis device, "Can I cook, or can I?", great special effects, and a heartbreaking ending.
2. STIII: Search for Spock. James Horner's best score, and the best visual effects and production design of the entire series (esp. the planet Vulcan and the Excelsior). Christopher Lloyd and John Larroquette as Klingons. Shatner: "You Klingon bastards--you killed my son!" Then he stumbles and falls: "You Klingon bastards . . . you killed my son." Then he just sits there for a while. Then he says, "I swear to you we're not finished yet." Come on--Patrick Stewart never had a moment like that.
3. ST: The Motion Picture (director's edition only). The previous "extended cut" was way too long--the director's cut is several minutes shorter. It has new CG visual effects like the Star Wars re-releases, except that the CG models are visually indistinguishable from the original miniatures and they actually make the movie better. There's also a good story, and Jerry Goldsmith's best score.
4. STVI: The Undiscovered Country. Good plotting, David Bowie's wife, Christopher Plummer as a Shakespeare-quoting Klingon, a bang-up ending, Kirk and McCoy on trial, and some of the best photography of the series.
We've now reached the barrier between films I don't mind watching repeatedly, and films I find merely tolerable.
5. STIV: The Voyage Home. The movie's good up until they get to Earth--then there's a bunch of dated comedy and Save the Whales propaganda and "nuclear wessels" and such. Meh.
We're now crossing into bad films.
6. STV: The Final Frontier. To be honest, I don't remember much of what happens in this movie, except that it had a fat Spock and that God strikes people down by lightning. And that Uhura was dating Scotty, and she does some kind of dance of the seven veils somewhere in it.
Now go ahead and rank 'em. Oh, wait, I forgot--
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THOSE MOVIES, FUTURE POSTER. AFTER STAR TREK VI THE MOVIES ARE DEAD TO ME.*
*
1. STII: Wrath of Khan. Ricardo Montalban, earwigs, a mass hanging, Moby Dick allusions, Paul Winfield, Kirstie Alley, Shatner's best acting, the Genesis device, "Can I cook, or can I?", great special effects, and a heartbreaking ending.
2. STIII: Search for Spock. James Horner's best score, and the best visual effects and production design of the entire series (esp. the planet Vulcan and the Excelsior). Christopher Lloyd and John Larroquette as Klingons. Shatner: "You Klingon bastards--you killed my son!" Then he stumbles and falls: "You Klingon bastards . . . you killed my son." Then he just sits there for a while. Then he says, "I swear to you we're not finished yet." Come on--Patrick Stewart never had a moment like that.
3. ST: The Motion Picture (director's edition only). The previous "extended cut" was way too long--the director's cut is several minutes shorter. It has new CG visual effects like the Star Wars re-releases, except that the CG models are visually indistinguishable from the original miniatures and they actually make the movie better. There's also a good story, and Jerry Goldsmith's best score.
4. STVI: The Undiscovered Country. Good plotting, David Bowie's wife, Christopher Plummer as a Shakespeare-quoting Klingon, a bang-up ending, Kirk and McCoy on trial, and some of the best photography of the series.
We've now reached the barrier between films I don't mind watching repeatedly, and films I find merely tolerable.
5. STIV: The Voyage Home. The movie's good up until they get to Earth--then there's a bunch of dated comedy and Save the Whales propaganda and "nuclear wessels" and such. Meh.
We're now crossing into bad films.
6. STV: The Final Frontier. To be honest, I don't remember much of what happens in this movie, except that it had a fat Spock and that God strikes people down by lightning. And that Uhura was dating Scotty, and she does some kind of dance of the seven veils somewhere in it.
Now go ahead and rank 'em. Oh, wait, I forgot--
A future poster in this thread said:
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THOSE MOVIES, FUTURE POSTER. AFTER STAR TREK VI THE MOVIES ARE DEAD TO ME.*
*
Except for the hot Borg-on-robot action in First Contact, and only because when I saw that movie in the theater on opening night, the person in the seat behind me was a corpulent, bespectacled woman who'd somehow managed to cram her bulk into a black T-shirt that had a picture of Data's face on it, surrounded by a bunch of glow-in-the-dark stars. When she saw those scenes she said, "No, Data... No. Please, don't. No. No. Oh, no, Data. No...no!" And she started sobbing openly, right there in the theater. She was saving herself for the guy, and in the end it came to nothing.
