Relationship venting thread...help me GAF.

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Ultima_5 said:
That's sweet and all but how old were you guys? That's something that happens in the teens. Early twenties.

Most of the time it's just infatuation at that stage
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LOL

We were both divorced and lets just say we aren't in our 20's. We both been around the block multiple times. It just clicked man...Not sure how else to describe it. Been married now for almost 5 years and it's still feels like infatuation.
 
There's totally going to be a twist here where we find out the OP has been dead for years and his girlfriend and this other dude have actually have long since gotten married....

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gamz said:
LOL

We were both divorced and lets just say we aren't in our 20's. We both been around the block multiple times. It just clicked man...Not sure how else to describe it. Been married now for almost 5 years and it's still feels like infatuation.
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That's cool. Still betting the OP and the girl are very young
 
You have the choice to trust her not. If you believe her messages then just be cool and let her have fun wasting that dummies money. If you don't trust her then end it. You shouldn't need GAF for this.
 
Okay....

Very much in love with each other after a month? Possible, I guess, but not likely.

You need to move on. Everyone is their own person I guess, BUT, if my now wife had told me a month after we started dating that she was going to go on a 2 week vacation with some dude (in a romantic setting, no less), well then she wouldn't be my wife.

Break it off before you get deeper than you already are.
 
Ultima_5 said:
That's sweet and all but how old were you guys? That's something that happens in the teens. Early twenties.

Most of the time it's just infatuation at that stage
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Early 30s.

I have a feeling your "most of the time" assertion has nothing but anecdotal evidence to back it up?

I'm not saying I have evidence either, but I wasn't the one making the claim.
 
If they are supposed to be just friends, why would she be going on a vacation to a romantic destination with him, and most importantly, sharing a bed? If this was a casual sight seeing trip that friends take to bond, and he has lots of money, I would expect he would pay for a room for her, not try to sleep with her. Shady doesn't begin to describe this whole situation. Your GF agreed to this vacation and was unwilling to cancel, so she's just as much to blame. Sorry OP but from what you've said, she was pretty selfish here, and isn't showing that she cares for you as much as she says. Regardless if anything happens, the fact that you will never know, and she is willing to put you through that, tells you all you need to know about her.
 
This is all weird af. You say you're in love with this girl, but you've barely met her friends and it sounds like you don't even know where she lives? Or who her roommates are? Your entire OP is filled with conjecture and "I believe etc etc". You believe? Or do you KNOW. You say you don't know this guy. Have you ever met him? How much of your story is undeniable fact?

It just sounds weird that this person you call a girlfriend is going on a vacation with a male friend who pays for what sounds like everything for her. Vacation, room, board, BED??

There's either something going on, or this guy is gay and your girlfriend's his cover. I've known girls to marry/date rich or high profile gay guys for this reason.

This just all sounds off. If this situation is happening as you say it is, I'd probably entertain the possibility of moving on. Or insisting no more vacations with this guy unless you come along as well.

Edit: by apartments do you mean hotel room? Either way is still weird if this guy is loaded.
 
Feel the Swift said:
Were you both official though at that time (3 weeks before)? Or still getting to know each other. I view them as different situations if the latter. If she had a problem with it would you have changed your plans?

Glad it worked out for you btw.
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We were official without question. Left for the airport from her place. Came home from the airport to her place. Were all but living together fairly quickly (many more reasons for that than puppy love-- quite a bit was logistics of work for both of us-- unrelated to the point though).

Would I have gone anyway if she had a problem with it? Yes. The reason being is that would mean I couldn't be myself and then why am I still in that relationship.

Now, your first thought here is to think I'm some kind of dick. It's ok. I know how it sounds. Here's the thing though-- we're both (actually all 3 of us, counting my friend) in our 30s. She (meaning my SO) was also a divorcee and had seen her share of shit. Neither one of us was trying to reinvent the romantic wheel here. We both knew what we wanted and for me, that was having that level of open and honest communication.

Again, these were things that took me years to figure out. When I was closer to what I imagine to be OP's age, I would probably react the same way. Experiences change people. We learn. We grow. We figure out what we want along the way.

I don't expect many to heed this advice, but there was nobody that ever tried to knock some sense into me back then either. Not that I would have listened anyway.
 
On the one hand, she's sharing a bed. On the other hand, I imagine you know this because she told you, which she didn't have to do and maybe wouldn't if she was planning to fuck him. So you could take that as a sign of trust on her part and that she wants you to trust her. But then... they are sharing a bed and will be drunk. Meh.
 
Ron Mexico said:
We were official without question. Left for the airport from her place. Came home from the airport to her place. Were all but living together fairly quickly (many more reasons for that than puppy love-- quite a bit was logistics of work for both of us-- unrelated to the point though).

Would I have gone anyway if she had a problem with it? Yes. The reason being is that would mean I couldn't be myself and then why am I still in that relationship.

Now, your first thought here is to think I'm some kind of dick. It's ok. I know how it sounds. Here's the thing though-- we're both (actually all 3 of us, counting my friend) in our 30s. She (meaning my SO) was also a divorcee and had seen her share of shit. Neither one of us was trying to reinvent the romantic wheel here. We both knew what we wanted and for me, that was having that level of open and honest communication.

Again, these were things that took me years to figure out. When I was closer to what I imagine to be OP's age, I would probably react the same way. Experiences change people. We learn. We grow. We figure out what we want along the way.

I don't expect many to heed this advice, but there was nobody that ever tried to knock some sense into me back then either. Not that I would have listened anyway.
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So your situation isn't really like the OP. Good for you though.
 
Ur girl getting slashed, waxed, splashed and clapped as we speak.

It's done. Don't think of her as ur girl and u good. Actually, use the situation. Convince her to bring you out next time and get a free holiday out of it. U could be in the pool Chillin while he's slashin ur chick. Lmao
 
OP, why exactly is the guy shady?

The first thing I thought is that OP is the guy on the side that she is toying with. It sounds like he is the other guy and the girl and her friend are actually in a relationship.

TheBaldEmperor said:
Married with kids GAF reporting in: can confirm.
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lol!
 
So you're girlfriend, who've dating for one month and arw madly in love" with, had a trip planned with a friend she's known for over fives years.

Now again you've known her for one month and claim you are in love yet you are getting jealous and insecure over a trip.

You also assume that she is sharing a bed with him and a room. Despite the fact that she said she'd enjoy the time with you more.

I'll be honest OP, I think you are letting the fact that her friend is wealthy get into your head. She's even tried to assure you, so it seems like GAF aren't the only ones who think that.


I think you need to cool down realize you've been dating only one month xv and her life doesn't and should never have to revolve around you. Also that you probably aren't in love if you are already doubting what she tells you and her own morals.

Just saying.
 
The only weird part of the whole thing is that they share a bed. Or you think so? If that's not something you're comfortable with you get out of that relationship--you haven't really known her long enough (judging by your post) to start making demands of her. You can ask for clarification and say you're uncomfortable with the situation but... I dunno, man. A month isn't worth the hassle imo.

Plus if you're breaking down because she went on a vacation with a dude that has more money than you do you need to focus on yourself. People are always gonna be more successful and are always gonna hang out with people you care about. The ultimate litmus test for my roommate and I has been bringing up the fact that we're in a "co-ed" situation and seeing how the person reacts.

We've known each other for 3 years, going on 4, and there's never been anything romantic or sexual between us. Yet there have been multiple times where us saying that means absolutely nothing to the person and they've flipped the good goddamn out. Guys can't be friends with girls, girls can't be friends with guys, etc; Hell, we've shared beds at least once when we were both hammered and just wanted to go the fuck to sleep.

Platonic relationships can and do exist and the sooner you accept that fact the sooner you'll be a happy person. Again, sharing a bed is absolutely weird and definitely an outlier situation but getting jealous because someone you barely know is going on a vacation without you, and because of who she's going with, speaks more to your own insecurity with the relationship (which isn't necessarily a mark against you. It's a new relationship) than anything else.

You sound young, OP. Either physically or emotionally and if you're having trouble parsing this you probably need to look at why you're overreacting (because you kinda-sorta are) and decide if it's a "you" thing or a "her" thing.

TheBaldEmperor said:
Married with kids GAF reporting in: can confirm.
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Fukken. /thread
 
Terra said:
I am "ok" for the time being. But at the same time not.
Who am I lying to? I feel down as fuck.
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Then stop lying to yourself and--I mean this harshly--get over yourself, my dude. You're not as important as someone she's known for over 5 years and it has nothing to do with how wealthy he is. Can you become that important? Yes! Should you expect it after a month? No. Absolutely not. Your girlfriend is a shitty friend if that happens.

Seniority absolutely means something when it comes to emotional bonds. Especially at the beginning of a relationship.
 
I am confused, is this your girlfriend or friend that is a girl and you're in love with? Based on the thread it just sounds like she is just your friend lol.

I'd just break up and move on since you can't compete with him from a monetary perspective. Lots of folks love the luxury lifestyle.
 
Previous thread from OP earlier this year says he's in his early thirties.

This sounds a bit dodgy. If he can afford champagne and what seems like semi-regular holidays with this girl, the guy can afford a second bed.
 
sleeps in the same bed with a girl does nothing after drinking alcohol. unless they are brother and sisters and this is not somewhere in the mountains.. chances are he's already tapped that.

The wealthy male is a beta...
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The only plausible thing is the male is still stuck in a closest and hasn't come out.. or hes unattractive and needs a woman near him to feel better because he cant get his own.
 
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