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Reporter drives Bugatti Veyron Vitesse to Taco Bell drive thru, orders bean burrito

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X

XiaNaphryz

LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2012-1...-million-car-doing-in-a-taco-bell-drive-thru/

"Have you ever wrecked one of these?" I ask as our burnt-orange Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse bursts onto the Julia Tuttle Causeway like a fireball from Hell. Butch Leitzinger shakes his head. The mild-mannered former racer is Bugatti's official driver, but a better title would be "pilot." With a top speed of 260 mph, the Veyron is more turbojet than Toyota.

"I had one crazy Canadian who tried to," Leitzinger yells over the roar of the 1,200-horsepower engine just behind our heads. "We came up on a 180-degree turn against the mountain, and he steps on the brake and the car goes 'pop'" — Leitzinger turns his hand sideways to show how the car skidded on the ice — "And I think, OK, we're dead."

Instead, the supersmart car righted itself just in time. I squeeze out a nervous grin.

Leitzinger and I are on a high-octane, two-hour test drive of the Vitesse. As he steers us south onto I-95, my stomach puckers — after a quick demo, I'll be the one behind the wheel of the world's most expensive car. At $2.5 million, this beast would take me 70 years of work to buy. And that's if I didn't pay taxes. Or eat.

"Let me pull back a bit so I can show you the acceleration," Leitzinger says cheerily a few minutes later. "I'm taking it down to second gear and..."

Vrrroooom! The air seems to split in front of us. My head hits the cushion. My skin ripples back on my skull, and my eyes dilate with delight. Bath salts? Try a Bugatti.

Leitzinger exits onto the Rickenbacker Causeway and pulls over: My turn.

Adjusting the mirrors, I'm doubtful New Times would cover a $2.5 million auto claim. I start by driving slowly — or at least what feels slow. When a flashing road sign alerts me to slow down, I realize, Holy shit, I've been doing 75 mph in a 45 zone. "They had to make the speedometer bigger because at first, people didn't realize how fast they were going," Leitzinger says.

Next, we head to South Beach because dammit, I've got a Bugatti for two hours and I might as well impress some chicks. It doesn't take long. Driving a $2.5 million car is like handing out hundred-dollar bills with David Hasselhoff: You quickly attract attention.

"Go, Michigan State!" screams a gorgeous blonde wearing a ponytail and eye black. Noticing our confusion, she says, "Your license plate says Michigan. You're here for the basketball game tonight, right?"

When we cross Lincoln Road, it's like taking center stage at Wimbledon. Random strangers yell at us: "Hell yeah!" and "What kind of a car is that?" while snapping photos and touching the car. Two Scandinavian models actually stop and tilt down their sunglasses to stare at us. My life has become a motion picture.

On Fifth Street, a pearl-white Ferrari 458 Spider stops behind us and the driver screams for us to pull over. We duck into a gas station. "What the hell is going on here, boys?" croaks the man, who turns out to be a 54-year-old insurance mogul named Eric Giglione. "This is the most beautiful fucking car I've ever seen. Is this your bad boy?" he asks me. When he hears I'm a journalist, he laughs. "I thought you were Justin Bieber.

"I bet this baby's got a lot of ugh," Giglione says, performing a hip thrust. "It's all about the pussy, after all. You know what I'm talking about."

Leitzinger demurs.

As I drive us back to New Times HQ, I have one last request.

"Well, that's a first," Leitzinger says as we pull into a Taco Bell drive-thru. I order the cheapest item on the menu: a bean burrito with no onions.

"Are you sure that's all you want?" the dude at the cash register asks when I pull up. "Damn, that's a nice ride!" the teenager says as he hands me a steaming tube of trans-fat-filled lard. "I'd have to sell a lot of tacos to buy that thing!"

Moments later, I step out of the Bugatti and back into my life as a professional journalist whose only flirtation is with poverty.

As Leitzinger pulls away in the car I never knew I always wanted, I count my change. Taco Bell Boy stiffed me 9 cents. I guess he figured that if I was driving that car, I didn't need it. I shake my head and shuffle inside to fill out an expense report for $1.06.
Click to expand...

Aq6GJ.jpg
 
V

Volimar

Member
I totally thought that this thread was about a reporter taking a snobby euro member of royalty named Bugatti Veyron Vitesse to experience Taco Bell.

But cars are nice too I guess.
 
D

DUFFMCWALIN

Member
I don't a shit what the car looks like. IT GOES 260 MPH FUCK THE LOOKS ITS NOT LIKE ANYONES GONNA SEE IT AS I BLOW BY THEM AND FLY OF A CLIFF INTO THE SUN
 
C

Camp Lo

Banned
I'm shocked. Bugattis look so elegant to me. You ask me what a million dollars in car form looks like, it's a veyron.

I'm more an Audi man personally but damn, they're so fresh.
 
B

blackflag

Member
This is asking for a lawsuit.

" steaming tube of trans-fat-filled lard. "

actual content 0g trans fat and less total fat than protein or carbs.
 
M

Mindlog

Member
"I bet this baby's got a lot of ugh," Giglione says, performing a hip thrust. "It's all about the pussy, after all. You know what I'm talking about."
Click to expand...
That guy sounds like an awesome cliche'. Pretty funny.
 
M

Mobius 1

Member
DUFFMCWALIN said:
I don't a shit what the car looks like. IT GOES 260 MPH FUCK THE LOOKS ITS NOT LIKE ANYONES GONNA SEE IT AS I BLOW BY THEM AND FLY OF A CLIFF INTO THE SUN
Click to expand...

There aren't many roads in the world where it could even reach maximum speed, even if the driver is willing to break every law.

The Veyron is just an exercise in opulence.
 
T

TAJ

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
jb1234 said:
I bet it gets great gas mileage.
Click to expand...

If gas cost a nickel a gallon or less, how concerned would you be about fuel economy?
Gas prices have no impact on someone who can afford that car.
 
S

sikkinixx

Member
Ugly car but I'll be damned if the engineering behind it doesn't impress the hell out of me. So fucking cool.

Though dude in the 458 has a fucking beautiful car.
 
S

siddx

Magnificent Eager Mighty Brilliantly Erect Registereduser
veyron is indeed a hideous car, but that's part of the appeal. It's grotesque in a way that works for it. All obscene power wrapped in an obscene shell. It looks like nothing else and grabs your attention.

Although I have to say its quite a bit more attractive in black, dark blue, or dark red. And it doesn't look quite as bloated in person.
 
F

FStop7

Banned
Veyron is definitely not a looker, it's all function over form. I'd still drive the shit out of one (if someone else paid for it.)

They cost around $100 per mile to operate between maintenance and fuel costs, btw. It's pretty ridiculous.
 
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