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[Dabookerman]

50 shit shades

https://mobile.twitter.com/#!/FiftyShitShades


She let out an almighty quim yodel as he removed his dripping beef baguette from her tuna creek. The stale smell of queef filled his nose.

 

[Oozer3993]

https://twitter.com/God_Damn_Batman

Don’t you hate having to preface everything with “okay Robin, now don’t cry but....”

I am this burrito’s reckoning.

Horrible experiences make you stronger. Like your parents getting murdered. Or having AT&T.

https://twitter.com/SarcasticRover

A Mars rover parody account.

You send me to die on Mars, and I send you a new song from "Will He Is"… so I guess we're about even.

CHEMCAM just detected a huge spike in Midi-chlorians… so these rocks are probably all Jedi.

Did a science on the number of deadly aliens on Mars, and they're forcing me to say it's zero. So come visit and bring your flesh!

 

[Manos: The Hans of Fate]

Aren't there a few good ones dedicated to the Queen of England?

 

[The Janitor]

http://twitter.com/H_Salamanca

 

[ThankeeSai]

http://twitter.com/H_Salamanca

Hahaha, love it.

 

[Suikoguy]

https://twitter.com/PaulRyanGosling

"Hey girl, I like my voters like I like my underwear: white and tight."
"Hey girl, I'm so stoked for the convention next week. Hey, do me a solid and don't tell Akin where it is, okay? "

 

[Entropia]

http://twitter.com/CrankyVince

Vince McMahon himself! A parody but too right...

Was going to post this one.


It doesn't seem to be as good after it came back the second time though.

 

[Previous]

The fake account of my university president:
http://twitter.com/fakejohnhgarvey

One weekend down 12 freshman fucked

Kinda hoping for a tornado so I can say that's what happens when you force insurance companies to cover birth control! #godispissed

 

[rezuth]

https://twitter.com/THEUNlVERSE

I forgot about this one, he just replies to people who mentions "universe".

 

[Cat Party]

The fake Kaz Hirai one is really good:

We have finally asked retailers to lower the price of the Vita as people will be less likely to see the price if it is well below eyesight

PS Vita Firmware Update: You can now only use your Vita carrying case with one PSN account, somehow

 

[Burger]

Officer Crabtree:

Hilarious. If you've seen 'Allo 'Allo. If not then... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozahjxwEmjg

 

[Windu]

My Favorite @NeedADebitCard

https://twitter.com/thecolorwho/status/240867442614738944

 

[lostzenfound]

This thread made it this far without:

http:twitter.com/pauladeenvagina

I'll leave it to you to find... the juiciest bits.

 

[Outsanity]

Aren't there a few good ones dedicated to the Queen of England?

Yeah these 2 have some great material almost every other day:

https://twitter.com/Queen_UK

https://twitter.com/Charles_HRH

 

[peppermints]

https://mobile.twitter.com/DadBoner